Sing As We Go

by Margaret Dickinson

  ‘I’m to join the RAF. I’m to report on Monday, the nineteenth of February.’

  Kathy could see both excitement and apprehension in his eyes. She wound her arms around his neck and laid her cheek against his shoulder, as she whispered, ‘You will be careful, won’t you?’

  His arms tightened around her. ‘Of course I will,’ he said gently. He smoothed the hair back and kissed her forehead. ‘Do you really think I’d endanger our future together?’

  She raised her head and looked up at him. ‘You really think we have a future together?’

  ‘Of course.’ It was obvious he was shocked that she could doubt it. ‘Oh darling, I know Mother’s difficult and I’m so sorry for what happened the other day.’

  Kathy smiled weakly but said nothing.

  ‘I had a long talk with Dad last night. He – he told me a lot of things about the past that I hadn’t either known or realized. It – well – I suppose it explains a lot of things.’ He paused. Still Kathy said nothing. She’d never been one to pry into the secrets of others. If Tony wanted to confide in her then he would. If not, then it was really none of her business what had happened in his family’s past. All that concerned her was – their future. Hers and Tony’s.

  ‘His advice to me was that I should take this opportunity to cut loose the apron strings, as he put it.’ Tony smiled. ‘And the very best piece of advice he gave me was to say that I should marry you and be quick about it before some other eligible chap snaps you up behind my back.’

  Kathy gasped and stared up at him in surprise. Then she threw back her head and laughed aloud. ‘Well, that’s the best I’ve heard yet. That a young man is “under orders” from his father to get married.’

  Tony laughed with her, though slightly sheepishly. ‘So, what do you say? Will you marry me? Right away? Before I go? I mean, there’s only just over three weeks.’

  Kathy hugged him tightly. ‘Oh yes, yes, yes!’

  ‘Can you arrange everything for the Saturday before I go?’

  ‘Just try and stop me.’

  ‘We might need a special licence. I’ll sort that out. Will you want to get married at home? In your local church?’

  Kathy bit her lip and tears sprang to her eyes. Wordlessly, she shook her head. Her girlish dream had been to float down the aisle of the little village church on her father’s arm to the sound of her friends in the choir singing for her. But it was not going to happen. Apart from anything else, her father would more than likely stay away from her wedding. But if that happened, she knew the very person she would ask to give her away. Ted Robinson. She didn’t know quite how Morry would take the news, but Amy and her parents would be thrilled for her. And Amy of course would be her bridesmaid. That had never been in doubt.

  But there was one cloud blighting her happiness. Would her mother be able to attend the ceremony? Would she be brave enough to go against her husband and attend?

  ‘I’ll have to go home and tell them, but, no, we’ll be married here, in Lincoln. It’ll be easier, since we’re both living here. And – and – well – things could be difficult back home.’

  ‘Whatever you think best, darling. And now – ’ he tapped her nose playfully – ‘you’d better go and talk to Miss Robinson and see if she can sort out a wedding dress for you.’

  ‘Oh, but I don’t know if I can afford . . .’

  ‘Now, now, it can all be put on account and you can pay a bit off each week. And I should be able to send you some of my pay as a married serviceman.’

  It sounded very strange to hear Tony refer to himself as a ‘serviceman’ but even more so as ‘married’.

  ‘Come on,’ he said, grabbing her hand. ‘Let’s go into the kitchen and tell Miss Robinson.’

  A few moments later, passers-by might have heard a squeal of delight from the kitchen of the little terraced house as Jemima threw her hands in the air and then hugged both Kathy and Tony. She was not given to such displays of emotion, so it made the moment all the more special for the three of them. Only Taffy, ears flattened, rushed for the back door, his tail thrashing wildly in disgust at the commotion.

  ‘You’re doing the right thing, my dears. I know you are. You are so right to grab your happiness in these uncertain times. Never mind what anyone else says, just don’t listen to them. You must do what is right for you.’ She glanced at them, first one and then the other. ‘And I can see by your faces that it is right for both of you.’ She laid her hand on Tony’s shoulder and added, ‘And forgive me for saying so, young man, but this will be the making of you.’

  Far from taking offence, Tony laughed. ‘D’you know, that’s just what my dad said.’

  Jemima nodded and said softly, ‘Well, he would. Your dad’s a sensible chap – most of the time.’ Then she shook herself and added, ‘And now we’d better think about your wedding finery. We haven’t much time. Despite the shortages, I think we can find you a gown in the wedding department and there should be a dress to fit Amy. Oh . . .’ She clapped her hand over her mouth and her eyes brimmed with laughter. ‘I’m rather taking things for granted, aren’t I?’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Kathy reassured her. ‘Who else would I have other than my very best friend as my bridesmaid?’

  ‘Well, let’s just hope she’s not gone before then.’

  ‘I hope so, but first – I’ll have to go home.’

  Jemima’s face sobered. ‘Yes, my dear, you will. After all, you’re under twenty-one. I think you’ll need your father’s consent.’

  Kathy’s lips parted in a startled gasp and her eyes widened in horror as she stared at Jemima. ‘Oh no!’

  Kathy was trembling as she pushed open the gate into the farmyard of her childhood home the following Saturday afternoon. Jemima had given her the day off, and though Muriel had raised her eyebrows, she had said nothing, not daring to argue with her superior.

  Kathy had brought a small overnight suitcase, but she wasn’t sure of a welcome. But if necessary, she knew she could stay with the Robinsons. Despite her having hurt Morry, the Robinsons were big-hearted enough to welcome her any time. And her unexpected arrival would cause them no trouble. Betty always kept the spare room bed made up and aired.

  Sounds of early evening milking came from the cowshed and Kathy breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps she could find her mother first and put off the moment she would have to face her father for a little longer. She pushed open the back door and tiptoed through the washhouse and into the kitchen. She saw her mother standing at the kitchen sink washing up.

  ‘Hello, Mam.’

  Despite the softness of Kathy’s voice, Edith jumped and turned with frightened eyes towards the door. Seeing her daughter, she gave a cry of delight and rushed across the space between them to throw soapy hands around her. Laughing, Kathy hugged her in return.

  Edith drew back and, after the first joyful reaction, her eyes were suddenly anxious. ‘Is something wrong? Have you come back home?’ There was both hope and apprehension in her tone. While she would have loved to have her daughter back home, she knew that would not be the best for Kathy.

  ‘No, Mam, I’ve come to tell you something and – and to ask your permission.’

  Edith pulled in a sharp breath. ‘Oh no! You – you’re going to join up, aren’t you? Oh, Kathy, are you sure?’

  ‘No, Mam, I’m not volunteering. I – I’m getting married.’

  ‘Married!’

  If she had told her mother that she was flying to the moon, Edith could not have been more shocked.

  But – but who?’ Then suddenly, her face cleared and her joy was complete. ‘Oh it’s Maurice, isn’t it? Oh, do say it’s Maurice!’

  Kathy shook her head. ‘No, I’m sorry. It isn’t Morry. It’s – it’s Tony Kendall. I told you about him at Christmas. Remember? He’s the manager of the store where I work. He’s the great-nephew of the owner.’

  ‘But you haven’t known him long.’

  ‘I love him, Mam, and he loves me. And he’s been c
alled up.’

  ‘Ah.’ Her mother sighed deeply and let her hands fall away. ‘So you want to get married before he goes.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘And when do you plan to—?’

  ‘Three weeks today, so there’s not much time, and because I’m under twenty-one, I need your consent.’

  ‘Your father’s consent, you mean, and he’ll never give it.’

  ‘Wouldn’t yours do, Mam? Surely it doesn’t have to be both parents, does it?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Edith rubbed her hands nervously down the front of her apron. ‘I don’t think I dare . . .’ She stopped and was suddenly very still for a long moment. Then she raised her head and met Kathy’s eyes. With more firmness in her tone than Kathy had ever heard, Edith said, ‘Yes, yes, I’ll do it. If you’re sure it’s what you want, then I’ll give my consent, whatever your father says.’

  ‘Oh Mam . . .’ Tears flooded down Kathy’s face as she enveloped her mother in a bear-hug.

  At last Edith patted her back. ‘There, there, love. Now you’d better go and tell your father.’

  ‘Mam, are you really sure? I don’t want him to take it out on you later.’

  Edith gave a wan smile. ‘Oh, I don’t mind. All I care about is your happiness. It’s too late for me now. But you – you’ve got all your life in front of you.’

  ‘Why don’t you leave him, Mam?’

  Edith shrugged. ‘Where would I go?’ she asked simply.

  ‘To me. To us,’ Kathy said impulsively. ‘When we’re settled in a home of our own, you can come and live with us.’

  Edith smiled gently. ‘We’ll see, love, we’ll see,’ was all she would say.

  ‘I suppose you’re pregnant, a’ ya?’

  Shocked, Kathy stared at her father, her heart pounding in her chest. She felt a guilty flush creep up her face. The previous night, while Jemima had been at one of her WVS meetings, Tony had made love to Kathy in the big lumpy bed she occupied in the spare room. It had been her first time and she had been nervous at first. But Tony had been so gentle, so loving, that she had given herself to him willingly and, finally, with joyful abandon. Amid all the uncertainty everyone now faced, their few hours together had been an oasis of bliss. But now, facing her father, she felt the flush creep up her face. Hoping he would see it as indignation, she declared hotly, ‘Of course I’m not!’ Mentally she crossed her fingers, hoping that what she said was the truth.

  ‘Then why the hurry? And who is this chap anyway?’

  Kathy explained, but her reasons were lost on her father. ‘Now if it was Maurice you were marrying, well, that’d be different.’

  ‘So you won’t give your consent?’

  ‘No.’

  Kathy shrugged. ‘Very well then.’

  Her father glanced at her suspiciously. Suddenly, there was a gleam in his eyes. ‘And don’t think your mother can give her consent instead. It has to be me.’ Kathy stared at him as he smiled with satisfaction. ‘Aye, I thought so. Wheedled your way round her, have you? Got her to promise to give her consent ’cos you knew I wouldn’t.’

  Kathy wasn’t sure of the law, but she would find out. For the moment, she turned away without another word and went back into the house.

  Standing in the middle of the kitchen, she told her mother tearfully. ‘He says you can’t do it. I didn’t tell him, Mam,’ she added hastily, ‘but he guessed.’

  ‘He would,’ Edith muttered bitterly. ‘To be honest I’m not sure either, but there must be a way round it.’ She laughed softly. It was the first time that Kathy could remember her mother laughing in years. ‘If the worst comes to the worst, you’ll have to run away to Gretna Green. But then, I suppose his parents would be upset if you did that.’

  ‘His father would, but his mother . . .’ Kathy hesitated. ‘She’s even more against our marriage than Dad is – if that’s possible!’

  ‘Doesn’t she like you?’

  ‘No, but then she has never liked any girl Tony has taken home. She’s an invalid and she plays on it to keep him tied to her apron strings. Well, that’s what it seems like, anyway,’ Kathy added hastily, anxious not give her mother a false impression. She sighed. ‘She has her husband and her son wrapped around her little finger, but to be honest, no one knows for sure just how ill she is. Not even they do.’

  ‘Yes, I remember.’ Edith sighed. ‘It sounds as if you’re taking on a lot, Kathy love. Are you sure?’

  ‘Yes, Mum. Whatever the problems, I love Tony and I want to marry him.’

  ‘I tell you what, go and talk to Mr Nightingale. He’ll know.’

  Kathy’s face cleared. ‘Of course.’ She giggled. ‘Only trouble is I might get roped in to sing with the choir tomorrow morning.’

  Her mother smiled. ‘Well, that’d be nice, wouldn’t it?’

  ‘Yes. Yes, actually it would be very nice.’

  Kathy sang her heart out at morning service in the little village church where she had worshipped since childhood. Afterwards, as she walked home arm in arm with Amy, she felt more at peace than she could ever remember.

  ‘That was a lovely sermon old Mr Nightingale gave. Evidently he was a padre in the last war, so he knows what’s ahead.’ Amy sighed. ‘D’you know, Kathy, part of me’s terrified about joining up and yet – I can’t help it – I’m excited too.’

  ‘I don’t blame you. I would feel just the same.’

  ‘Why don’t you join up?’

  ‘If I wasn’t getting married, I would, but I want to be there for Tony whenever he can get leave. I shall volunteer to do some sort of war work in Lincoln instead.’

  ‘Are you coming for dinner with us? Mam and Dad’d love to see you and there’s always plenty – even with the rationing!’

  ‘No, if you don’t mind, I’ll go home. I want to see as much of Mam as I can while I’m here.’ She sighed. ‘If I marry Tony, I doubt I’ll be welcome at home any more.’

  Amy squeezed her arm. ‘Well, you’re always welcome at our place, you know that.’

  Kathy felt a lump in her throat. It was good to have such loyal friends.

  They parted at the fork in the lane where one path led to Amy’s home, the other way to Thorpe Farm.

  As she pushed open the gate she looked up in surprise to see her father standing in the middle of the yard. It was obvious he was waiting for her. Without any kind of greeting, he said, ‘I’ll give my consent on one condition.’

  Kathy drew in a deep breath of surprise. She said nothing, just stared at him, waiting for him to go on, knowing that she probably wasn’t going to like what he had to say.

  ‘I’ll make a new will leaving everything to Maurice Robinson. If you marry this chap, you won’t get a penny.’

  Kathy tried hard to hide her delight, but failed. ‘You mean it, you really mean it? You’ll give your consent?’

  He stared at her for a moment before saying harshly, ‘Does this farm mean nothing to you? It’s been in my family for years. Don’t you care?’

  Kathy shrugged. ‘You’ve never made me feel as if I’d a right to care. Because I’m not a boy, you never once gave me any reason to think you’d pass it on to me. All you could ever think about was marrying me off to Morry and him having the farm. Well, as far as I’m concerned, he can have it and good luck to him.’

  With that she marched into the house and slammed the back door behind her, leaving her father staring after her with a puzzled expression on his face.

  Twenty-One

  With her father’s written consent secured, Kathy returned to Lincoln on the Sunday evening.

  ‘You do surprise me,’ Jemima said when Kathy told her the news. ‘He’s a vindictive old beggar, isn’t he? Fancy any father cutting his only child out of his will like that. Mind you – ’ her bright eyes twinkled mischievously – ‘it’s all the better for Maurice.’

  Kathy laughed and hugged Jemima impulsively. ‘And it couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke. I mean it, I’m more than happy that it would be Morry to
benefit.’

  Jemima smiled sadly. ‘I’m sure he’d rather have you than all the farms in Lincolnshire, though.’

  Kathy sighed. ‘I am sorry, truly I am. But I can’t pretend to be in love with him. I’ve seen at first hand what a loveless marriage is like. I don’t want that for myself – or for Morry. And a one-sided marriage would probably be even worse in a way.’

  ‘I expect you’re right, dear,’ Jemima said briskly. ‘Now, we’d better get this wedding planned. Who’s going to give you away?’

  ‘I’d like to ask your brother, but is it fair? I mean – because of Morry?’

  ‘Don’t worry about that. Ted will be tickled pink. You can phone him from work tomorrow.’ The Robinsons had been the first in the village, apart from the vicar and the local doctor, of course, to have a telephone installed.

  ‘I can’t wait to see Tony in the morning and tell him the good news.’

  ‘Let’s just hope . . .’ Jemima began and then stopped.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Oh nothing, dear, nothing. Now, let’s get to bed. We’ve got an exciting three weeks ahead of us.’

  Later the following morning, during her dinner break, Kathy rushed upstairs to Tony’s office. As she knocked and opened the door he sprang up from behind his desk and came towards her. He swept her off her feet and swung her round. ‘I’ve organized the licence and James has agreed to be my best man.’

  ‘Mr Hammond has? Oh how wonderful.’

  ‘He is my mother’s cousin.’

  ‘I bet that’s pleased her, hasn’t it?’

  The smile faded from Tony’s face. ‘Darling, nothing – but nothing – will please my mother. She’s refusing to come to the wedding.’

  ‘That makes both our parents. Mam would come but I don’t know if she’ll dare and as for Dad . . .’ She took a deep breath and told him all that had happened over the weekend ending, ‘You – you don’t mind about the farm? I mean, I’m not bringing anything to the marriage.’