Sing As We Go

by Margaret Dickinson

  ‘I’m sorry if you’re busy—’

  ‘No, no, it’s all right. It’s just all this form filling one has to do these days. There’s so many new regulations now, my head aches with it all.’ But he was laughing as he said it.

  ‘Am I going to be able to see you over Christmas?’ she asked. ‘Because, if not, I’ve been invited to go with Miss Robinson to her family.’

  Tony ran his hand across his forehead, agonizing over the decision. ‘I want nothing more than to spend Christmas with you, darling, especially if Miss Robinson’s away and we’d have the house to ourselves.’ He pretended to leer at her. But Kathy couldn’t smile in return. She’d already guessed what was coming next. ‘Darling, you know I’m likely to be called up soon. It – it might be the last Christmas I get to spend with Mother . . . and Father,’ he added hurriedly.

  Now Kathy smiled, surprised to find his decision didn’t hurt as much as she’d thought it would. She wound her arms around him, not caring for once if anyone came in. ‘It’s all right. Really, but there’s just one thing.’

  ‘What?’ Tony was anxious.

  ‘You’re spending New Year’s Eve with me.’

  His worried expression cleared. He kissed the tip of her nose. ‘Darling, I do love you so.’

  *

  ‘I do hope you’re not breaking any food rationing regulations, Edward,’ Jemima said primly, as they all sat around the laden table watching Ted Robinson carve the goose. ‘We’ve all received our ration cards, you know.’ But there was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, which was mirrored in her brother’s glance.

  ‘Aye well, didn’t Betty tell you? This is going to cost you two coupons a slice.’

  ‘Now, don’t you listen to him, cariad,’ Betty said, bustling in with dishes of steaming vegetables. ‘Rationing doesn’t start in earnest until January.’

  ‘Maybe not – officially, but there are already shortages in the city,’ Jemima said seriously now.

  ‘Then you let us know what you need and we’ll send it,’ Betty said firmly. ‘Living on a farm, we’ll be luckier than most.’

  ‘That’s kind of you, dear,’ Jemima murmured. ‘But then, you’ve always been good to me, Betty, haven’t you?’

  The two women exchanged a look across the table and smiled at each other.

  ‘More potatoes, Kathy?’ Morry, sitting beside her, passed the dish.

  ‘I thought you had an evacuee staying with you?’ she asked as she helped herself.

  ‘We did,’ Morry answered. ‘A comical little chap from London. A typical cockney. Half the folk round here couldn’t understand him.’

  ‘I could,’ Amy declared. ‘He’s a little sweetheart, Kathy. He’ll be back in January, but he went home for Christmas.’ She glanced across at her father and smiled. ‘Dad paid for his fare home.’

  ‘Now, now, Amy lass, don’t go giving all my secrets away.’

  ‘You know me, Dad. I always say if you’ve anything to hide, don’t tell me.’

  ‘Is it safe for him to go back?’ Kathy asked.

  ‘I think they’re hoping that there won’t be any bombing over Christmas.’

  ‘Like in the last lot, you mean, when the soldiers on both sides got out of their trenches and played football?’

  Everyone laughed, but beneath his breath so that only Kathy could hear, Morry said, ‘I wouldn’t trust Hitler to do anything like that. I hope the little chap’s going to be all right.’

  ‘Eat up, everyone,’ Betty said cheerfully as she sat down. ‘There’s plenty more.’

  ‘Aye, we’d better make the most of it. Goodness knows what we might all be eating by next year.’

  ‘Oh, it’ll not last as long as that, Ted,’ Betty said, ever the optimist. ‘We’ll all be back to normal before you know it. Now, let’s forget all about the war and enjoy our meal. And don’t forget, we’ve got a little surprise for Kathy after our dinner.’

  ‘A surprise? For – for me? What is it?’ Kathy looked across at Amy, who shrugged her shoulders and said, ‘I don’t know. They haven’t told me.’

  ‘Of course we haven’t,’ Morry laughed. ‘Else it certainly wouldn’t stay a surprise for more than two minutes, would it?’

  Everyone, including Amy, laughed, but Kathy could wheedle nothing more out of anyone.

  ‘Wait and see, cariad,’ was all Betty would say.

  While the women cleared away and washed up the mountain of pots after a superb Christmas dinner, Morry disappeared. From the kitchen, they heard the engine of the old farm truck start up.

  ‘Where’s he going?’ Amy asked.

  ‘Wait and see,’ Betty said again, her plump arms deep in the sink.

  ‘It must be a big present for Kathy if he’s got to fetch it in the truck.’ Amy tried to prise something out of her mother, but Betty was tight-lipped.

  Half an hour later, they heard the vehicle returning.

  ‘Go and open the door for him, Kathy,’ Betty said.

  ‘I’ll go,’ Amy said, throwing down the tea towel and heading for the door, but Betty stopped her.

  ‘No, Amy – let Kathy go,’ her mother said, quite sharply for the easy-going Betty.

  Kathy shrugged and went to the back door. Opening it, she saw her mother climbing out of the passenger seat.

  ‘Mam, Oh, Mam.’ Tears coursed down her face as she threw her arms wide and ran towards Edith.

  ‘My darling girl,’ Edith whispered, holding her close. ‘I haven’t long. Your father’s asleep by the range. He doesn’t know I’ve come and Maurice has promised to take me back in half an hour. Let’s hope he doesn’t wake up before then.’

  Betty appeared near the back door. ‘Come in, come in.’

  ‘I didn’t ought to,’ Edith said, as arm in arm she and Kathy moved towards the house. ‘I’ve had to come out in my wellingtons. When I go back, I’m going to make out I’ve been feeding the hens.’

  She hugged Kathy’s arm to her side and smiled up at her, almost enjoying the intrigue and, hopefully, getting the better of her husband for once.

  ‘Oh, Mam,’ Kathy whispered, her tears of joy turning to sadness. How awful it was that her mother was like a prisoner in her own home, that she daren’t even come out to see her daughter for a brief half hour.

  ‘Come away in, cariad,’ Betty insisted. ‘Don’t you think I’m used to wellingtons tramping in and out all day?’

  ‘Well, just into the kitchen then.’

  They were left alone together, just the two of them, sitting in Betty’s warm kitchen over a cup of tea. They talked non-stop, Edith wanting to know everything that had happened to her daughter since she’d left home. She’d heard snippets from the Robinsons, but it meant so much more to hear it from Kathy herself.

  Edith held her daughter’s hands tightly. ‘Are you happy, my darling? Truly happy?’

  ‘I’m happy with Tony, Mam. You’d love him, I know you would. But – but it’s his mother . . .’ She went on, the words spilling out about Beatrice Kendall’s possessiveness.

  When, at last, Kathy fell silent, Edith smiled gently. ‘I can understand it. A mother’s love is something very special. Some say, the strongest love there is. But sometimes, it can become “smother” love and that can be dangerous. But I feel for her. She must be desperately anxious about him being called up.’

  ‘Along with thousands of other mothers. Why can’t she just let him live his own life? You did with me.’

  Fresh tears welled in Edith’s eyes. ‘It wasn’t easy, darling. In fact it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.’

  ‘Then – then why did you let me go?’

  ‘Because it was the best for you,’ she said simply, and her unselfish love for her daughter was summed up in those few words.

  There was a soft knock and Morry poked his head around the kitchen door. ‘I hate to do this, but you’ve been here nearly an hour, Mrs Burton, and . . .’

  ‘Oh my Lor’,’ Edith cried, jumping up at once, her eyes wide
with fear. ‘If he’s woken up . . .’

  Morry moved into the room and put his arm around her shoulders. ‘I’ll park in the lane and we’ll walk up to the farm and then sneak into the henhouse . . .’

  ‘No, no, I’d best go on my own. If he sees you there, he’ll start asking questions. I’ll be all right.’ She hugged Kathy swiftly. ‘Whatever happens, it was worth it just to see you, darling.’

  ‘Oh, Mam,’ Kathy said shakily and hugged her hard in return.

  Later, Kathy kissed Morry on the cheek. ‘That was the very best Christmas present you could have given me. Thank you.’

  Morry didn’t answer but the look in his eyes said it all. I’d do anything for you, Kathy. Anything at all.

  Nineteen

  ‘Mr Kendall, whatever are you doing here?’

  The man stood awkwardly in the centre of the millinery department, twirling his cloth cap through his agitated fingers and looking decidedly uncomfortable. Kathy hurried towards him. ‘Is something wrong?’

  ‘ ’Fraid so, lass. Can you tell me where I can find our Tony?’

  ‘Of course. I’ll take you straight to his office.’ She put her hand on his arm and was about to lead him through the maze of departments and corridors when she saw Muriel coming towards them.

  ‘Ah,’ she murmured. ‘I’d better ask permission to leave the floor. Miss Curtis, Mr Kendall needs to see his son on a matter of urgency. May I take him up?’

  Muriel nodded towards Mr Kendall, who smiled thinly. ‘Of course, but come straight back. Stella is on her lunch break and we’re quite busy this morning.’

  As they hurried up the stairs, Kathy asked, ‘What’s wrong? Is it Mrs Kendall?’

  ‘Sort of, lass. She’s had a nasty shock and fainted clean away. Good job I was at home. I’ve been on nights and I was in me bed. I heard this thump and went downstairs and there she was on the floor with a letter in her hand.’

  ‘A letter? A letter had caused her to pass out?’

  He nodded grimly. ‘It’s Tony’s call-up papers, lass. He’s got to go.’

  As they reached the top of the stairs, Kathy stopped and turned to face him. ‘But – but I thought your wife said she could arrange a deferment for him?’

  Sadly, George shook his head. ‘She’d like to think she could, love. But the truth is there’ll be nothing she can do. Nothing anyone can do. He’s not in the sort of job that could get deferment. Now she’s clinging to the hope that he’ll fail his medical.’ He leaned closer and lowered his voice. ‘She even asked our doc if he’d write a certificate saying Tony has a weak heart.’

  Kathy gasped and her eyes widened. ‘He can’t do that, surely?’

  ‘Of course he can’t. Something like that could end his career.’

  ‘Then – then Tony’ll really have to go?’

  ‘ ’Fraid so, lass. Now, where’s his office?’

  ‘I don’t care what he says, I’m going to their house.’

  ‘I wouldn’t,’ Jemima warned. ‘It’s snowing like mad out there. There’s a couple of inches fallen already and a lot more on the way by the look of the sky this afternoon. With the blackout too . . .’ Seeing the determined look on the girl’s face, Jemima stopped, sighed and shrugged.

  ‘I’ve not even seen him. If his father hadn’t come looking for him, I wouldn’t even have known.’ She was feeling hurt that Tony hadn’t sought her out at once to tell her that his call-up papers had come.

  ‘He left the store to go home to his mother,’ Jemima said.

  ‘Now why doesn’t that surprise me?’ Kathy said, unable for once to keep the bitterness from her tone.

  For once, Jemima gave up. ‘Be careful, dear. Wrap up warmly. It’s bitterly cold. I’m just thankful it’s Sunday tomorrow.’ She stroked the cat on her knee. ‘Taffy and I intend to stay snug and warm by the fire.’

  Kathy trudged through the darkness, pulling her coat tightly around her and squinting against the driving snow that stung her cheeks and caught her breath. But her anger and resentment drove her on. She was ready to do battle, but when she arrived at the Kendalls’ home Kathy found Beatrice Kendall in a state of collapse. She could see at once that this time the woman’s distress was genuine. Beatrice lay back on the sofa, looking thin and white. Tony sat on a footstool beside her, chafing her hand as if trying to bring some warmth, some life almost, back into her.

  He glanced up, a mixture of pleasure and apprehension on his face, as his father ushered Kathy into the stuffy, cluttered room.

  ‘Look who’s here,’ George said cheerfully. ‘Come to see if she can lend a hand. Isn’t that kind of her?’ Before giving anyone time to make a comment, George went on. ‘Tell you the truth, lass, I’m glad to see you. I could really do with a hand in the kitchen. I’ve to go to work. I’m late for me shift already with all this to-do and I haven’t had time to cook Tony a meal or try to tempt Beatty with a little something. Mind you, I’ve done the shopping, so there’s everything you need. I could only get sausages at the butchers. The shortages are starting already, I reckon. There’ll be enough for you, an’ all. I shan’t have time to stay to eat.’

  ‘Can I make you some sandwiches to take with you?’

  ‘Oh no, lass,’ he smiled. ‘Me pack-up’s all done. I just haven’t time to eat now. Still,’ he laughed and patted his rotund stomach. ‘Won’t hurt me to miss a meal for once, will it? Now, I’ll show you where everything is and if you could make a milky rice pudding for the Mrs, she might manage a bit of that.’

  ‘I couldn’t eat a thing,’ came Beatrice’s quavering voice from the couch. ‘Whatever are we going to do? I can’t bear it. This is going to kill me.’

  ‘Now, Mother, don’t take on so. Please. I’ll be all right and I’ll come home just as often as I can.’

  ‘But I’ll never see you,’ the woman wailed. ‘You’ll want to be with – with her, won’t you? She’ll take you away from me.’

  ‘Kathy can come here, then I can be with both of you.’

  Beatrice raised her head from her pillow and pointed a trembling finger at Kathy. ‘I won’t have her here. I won’t have her in my house. Get her out!’ Her voice rose hysterically. ‘Get her out!’

  ‘Now, now, Beatty. You know I’ve got to go, and this lass here has kindly offered to cook Tony’s meal for him. You don’t mind her doing that, surely?’ Before his wife could answer, he took Kathy’s arm. ‘Tek no notice, lass,’ he whispered as they left the room. ‘She’s overwrought with the news. She’ll calm down in a bit. Let’s leave Tony with her. It’s him she wants with her when she has a bad turn.’

  Don’t I know it! Kathy thought, but she said nothing.

  George left for work and Kathy busied herself in the unfamiliar kitchen. First, she made up a rice pudding, as it would take the longest to cook. She peeled potatoes and set them to steam and then found a frying pan for the sausages. ‘Bangers and mash,’ she murmured, and smiled, thinking that it was hardly what she would have wished for as a meal she was preparing for her future husband.

  When everything was ready, she tapped on the door of the sitting room and entered carrying a tray set with a snowy white tray cloth and a bowl of the rice pudding with a dollop of jam in the centre.

  ‘Mr Kendall thought you might be able to eat a little rice pudding. I hope you like it.’

  Beatrice raised her head and glared up at her.

  ‘Isn’t that kind of Kathy, Mother? Now let me help you sit up.’

  As Kathy leant forward to place the tray on Beatrice’s lap, the woman suddenly lashed out, hitting the tray upwards. The rice pudding splashed down the front of Kathy’s blouse and skirt, and the bowl and tray clattered to the floor.

  ‘What on earth did you do that for?’ For once, Tony was angry. ‘Kathy was only trying to help.’

  ‘Get – her – out – of – my – house,’ Beatrice gasped. Then she clutched dramatically at her chest and moaned. ‘Tony – my pills. Fetch my pills.’

  As Tony hurried out of the ro
om once more, Kathy stood looking down at Beatrice. ‘You know, if you carry on like this, you will lose him. Sooner or later, he’s going to see right through you and then – he’ll go.’

  Through gritted teeth, Beatrice spat, ‘Get out.’

  ‘Oh, I’m going – for now. But I’ll be back. You won’t get me to give up like poor Muriel Curtis did.’ As they heard Tony returning, Kathy leant forward. Putting her face close to Beatrice’s, she said, ‘You won’t get rid of me quite so easily. I promise you.’

  ‘We’ll see about that, won’t we?’ Beatrice hissed and then flopped back against the pillows as Tony entered the room.

  As he passed close to her, he faltered and looked into Kathy’s face. ‘I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over her. It must have been an accident. I’m sure she didn’t mean to do it.’

  Swiftly, Kathy made her decision. She smiled sweetly. ‘Of course not, darling. I’ll go and clean myself up and then I’ll see to this.’ She indicated the smashed bowl on the floor and the splashes of rice pudding on the carpet.

  ‘Oh, I’ll see to it . . .’ Tony began, but Kathy interrupted firmly, ‘No, your dinner’s waiting for you in the kitchen. As soon as you’ve given your mother her pills, you go and get it. I’ll keep an eye on her and fetch you if she needs you.’

  ‘Well . . .’ He was torn between the two of them, and to tell the truth he was very hungry. He hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

  Kathy went back to the kitchen and cleaned the front of her blouse and skirt as best she could, then, finding a dustpan and brush and a cloth to mop the carpet, she returned to the front room.

  ‘Off you go,’ she said gently to Tony.

  ‘You’ll fetch me if she needs me.’

  ‘Of course I will.’

  With that he left the room, but as the door closed behind him, Kathy moved towards the sofa and bent over Beatrice.

  ‘Round one to me, I think,’ she said softly.

  Twenty