The Dahlia Trilogy (The Gilded Flower Series)

by Winslow, Vivian

  Before Kai can respond, Dahlia hears Vi call her name.

  “There you are,” Vi says, out of breath.

  “Yeah, I’m here,” she replies. Could her timing be any worse?

  Vi stops when she sees Kai and Dahlia standing two feet apart. “Darling, I’m headed back to New York. Something’s come up. You want to come back with me?” Then she smiles slyly. “Or perhaps you want to stay on a bit.”

  Dahlia looks at Kai and frowns. “Tell me now. Turns out I’ve got to go.”

  “I’ll tell you tomorrow. But you’ll have to surf with me first.”

  “But . . .”

  “Guess you have to decide what you want.” Kai rubs his finger along his smooth chin.

  Dahlia shakes her head, exasperated, and begins walking back to the house, Vi on her heels.

  Chapter 19

  Vi throws her suitcase on her bed and unzips it. Dahlia leans against the doorframe and watches as she begins to haphazardly fill it with her dresses and swimsuits. When she finishes tearing through her closet, Vi sits on the edge of her bed and lights a cigarette.

  “I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen you smoke.” Dahlia walks around the bed and sits down in a white, leather Eames chair in the corner. “What gives?”

  Vi shakes her head. “Not right now, D.”

  “Come off it, Vi. I’ve had to endure endless lectures and clichés about finding my happiness, my peace, and dealing with grief from you and Lily for weeks now, and you take issue with my commentary about you smoking?”

  Vi takes a long drag. “It’s not the same.” She stands and walks out onto the balcony.

  “So you’re not going to tell me?”

  “Nope.” Vi raises the cigarette to her lips.

  Dahlia sighs. “Fine, then I’m staying here. I can’t follow you to New York. Clearly, you’re going to be shitty company, and God knows with the way you’re acting, you’ll fall off the radar. Besides, I don’t want to go back to my old life right now.”

  Vi stubs her cigarette out on the balcony and smiles at Dahlia. “That’s the smartest thing I’ve heard from you in weeks.”

  “You’re such a bitch sometimes.”

  “I’d say it’s one of my more positive qualities,” Vi says sarcastically. She walks back to her suitcase and pulls out a deep purple bikini. “Shame I didn’t get to wear this.” Then, peeling off her dress she says, “Let’s go to the beach after lunch. I want one more swim before I have to go face the sharks.”

  Dahlia opens her mouth to reply but quickly closes it, knowing the subject is off limits. Vi has her secrets—always has. She heads to her room, frustrated and resigned.

  Chapter 20

  “Isn’t that your friend Kai?” Vi points out in the distance.

  Dahlia brings her hand to her forehead, shielding her eyes from the sun. “Sure looks like it,” she replies casually, although deep down she’s feeling anything but calm. Butterflies fill her stomach when she considers the offer he made. Stay and he’ll reveal what the healer said. Then what? Will he think I’m staying for him? Am I staying for him? Where would I go if I leave? She wonders to herself.

  Dahlia sits down on the sand and buries her face in her hands.

  As if anticipating her question, Vi places a gentle hand on Dahlia’s back. “No, you don’t have to have it all figured out right now,” she says quietly. “You have the luxury of time, D. Just trust that you’re where you’re meant to be in the moment. Tomorrow doesn’t matter.”

  “So easy for you to say.” Dahlia watches Kai paddle out to a wave.

  “No, it’s not. Trust me. I’d give anything to not be in the mess I’m in.”

  Dahlia eyes her warily.

  “Nope. Still not going to tell you.” Vi shakes her head. “Kai seems like a nice guy,” she says, deliberately changing the subject, “And pretty damn hot. Just look at those abs, D.” Vi pauses and points. They watch as he takes a flawless bottom turn into a perfect roundhouse cutback.

  “I have no idea what he’s doing, but it’s impressive.”

  Dahlia nods. “He clearly has some moves.”

  “You’re not the least bit interested?”

  “Should I be?” Dahlia tries to sound nonchalant. Deep down a part of her is most certainly interested. His reserve, the self-possessed way he carries himself endows him with some mystery, which Dahlia finds undeniably sexy.

  “You don’t need to bullshit me, D. I have a sense about these things, you know that.”

  Dahlia leans back on her hands. “I’m intrigued for sure. But I’m not ready for a relationship, Vi. God knows how long it will be before I can open myself to someone.”

  “Of course. Kai isn’t a forever guy. But he can certainly be for now. Especially when you look at those lips. Consider him a gift from the universe. Someone who can help you open your heart, at least a little. Happily ever after’s aren’t guaranteed. Sometimes you have to take the happily for now.”

  “Okay, wise madam,” Dahlia puts her hands together and bows jokingly at Vi.

  Vi laughs, standing up and heading toward the water. She continues until the water reaches above her waist. “It’s glorious in here. Paint this for me. I want to remember this place.”

  Dahlia dives into the waves and joins her friend. “There’s probably a reason he’s a surfer,” Vi says, when Dahlia surfaces. “You can’t resist or put walls up to block your fears, or the things you fear most will keep coming at you. Just embrace what comes your way.”

  “Says you—the woman with impenetrable walls.”

  “Yeah, and they’re closing in on me. Trust me, D.”

  Dahlia looks back at Kai who’s sitting up on his board, staring out into the horizon. Is he looking for something too? She wonders.

  Chapter 21

  For the first time since arriving on the island, Dahlia doesn’t sleep late. Instead, she’s up with the dawn, anxious to see Kai and unlock whatever vision the Old Woman had of her. But more than that, finding herself alone in a beautiful setting stirs something inside Dahlia. She’s finally able to breathe again. No well-intentioned friend and no sister suffocating her with their concerns. She smiles as she welcomes the sunrise, recognizing the glimmer of joy she’s feeling for the first time in a long time. Pure freedom.

  “So you decided to stay,” a voice interrupts her thoughts. Dahlia looks up from her sketchpad.

  She nods and returns to finish a drawing of Vi in the water.

  “You’re quite talented,” Kai observes.

  “Thanks,” Dahlia murmurs.

  He sits quietly and watches as she works.

  A few minutes later, she sets down the pad and pencil. “Ready?” She asks with more enthusiasm than she’s feeling.

  “Look, if you don’t want to do this . . .” Kai says.

  “We made a deal. I’m ready to fulfill my end and surf with you.”

  “Cool,” Kai says, taking off his shirt.

  Up close, Dahlia can see every well-defined muscle of his chest and abs. She swallows and looks out at the waves, trying to contain the fire that’s beginning to grow inside her.

  She fastens the leash to her right ankle. “This better be worth it,” Dahlia says, following him into the water.

  Kai smiles back. “It always is.”

  “You’re not tired yet?” Kai calls out.

  Dahlia shakes her head as she paddles toward him, stopping on his left. “I could do this for hours.”

  “This coming from the woman who said she doesn’t surf anymore.” Kai smiles. “That roundhouse carve you did was pretty epic. Where’d you learn to surf like that?”

  Dahlia sits up and runs her hand along the rail. “Spent some time with a pro.” Saying those words aloud doesn’t sound right to Dahlia. Of course her time with Shane was more than that, but how can she encapsulate those years with him? There were too many highs and lows when they were younger. Then, when they finally found their way back to each other, their time was cut short. It wa
s as if they were never meant for more than that.

  Kai nods, allowing silence to fall between them. Normally, it would make Dahlia uncomfortable, but she doesn’t feel that way with him. Like Shane, he seems to know when to give her room to breathe. Like Shane . . .

  Finally she says, “It’s getting pretty flat-faced out here, but I see a newly-formed little right.” Dahlia begins to paddle away, Kai close behind.

  “I give in,” Kai announces, catching one final wave. “I’m out.”

  Dahlia comes out of the water laughing and drops the board on the sand next to him. “I thought I’m supposed to be the one who’s out of shape.”

  “Yeah well, girls and endurance. I’ve heard your kind have super human strength.” He smiles but doesn’t open his eyes.

  “Are you hoping I’d forget our deal?”

  Kai turns his head to look at her, his eyes squinting from the bright sun. “Nah.”

  “So?” She prompts.

  “So?” He replies. The warning look from Dahlia makes him sit up. “Alright. Fine. Just to be clear, this is her thing, and just because she’s a legend around these islands doesn’t make her infallible. Got that?”

  Dahlia nods. “But you believe in whatever voodoo thing she does.”

  He shrugs. “Well, yeah, but it’s because she helped me when I was going through some major shit.”

  “Like what?” Dahlia almost forgets they’re supposed to be talking about her.

  “No dice, babe. This is about you, remember?”

  “Fine then. Start from the beginning,” Dahlia instructs.

  Chapter 22

  “First, she said you were really pretty.”

  Dahlia throws a fistful of sand at him. “You’re supposed to be honest.”

  Kai holds up his hands. “I am being serious. She totally said that when I laid you down on the table.”

  “She talked to you about me then too?”

  Kai nods. “Yeah. She said you were near death. At first I thought she was referring to the snakebite, but she said it wasn’t physical. But that you were dying on the inside—there was black on your spirit.”

  “Uh-huh.” Dahlia takes her finger and draws in the sand.

  Kai frowns, clearly not liking what he is about to say next. “She explained that this kind of darkness doesn’t go away completely. It brings death. Then she saw you drowning in water but being pulled out by someone who was you or looked like you but somehow different. Sometimes these visions are a bit convoluted. I figure maybe she was referring to your twin sister.”

  “Was that all she said then?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “And what about when I was awake?” Dahlia asks, steeling herself against his possible answers.

  “That you have pretty blue eyes, like the ocean.” Kai nods his head toward the water.

  “You’re so full of it,” Dahlia replies.

  “No really, she said that, I swear.” Then he adds, “And I have to agree.”

  Dahlia swallows, pushing down her stomach that had just leapt up into her throat.

  “And then?”

  “In your eyes she saw life force. She explained that the death she saw in you could mean one of two things. The first, that you will be so consumed by what’s drowning you that you succumb to the . . .,” Kai pauses to think. “There’s no great translation for this word, but it’s beyond misery, and loneliness. It’s like a void but something you can’t get out of, you know?”

  Dahlia nods, acknowledging that it’s how she’s felt since Shane’s death. There’s no word to describe the depths of her sorrow and whatever this other thing is that’s smothering her.

  “And the second?” She whispers.

  “That was crazy. She said some people are born to die. Like we are all marching towards death, right, as we get older. But in your case, your path was to experience death more than once so you could die as well. But it’s a metaphorical death. Like you die so you can live again, a completely different person.”

  “You’re right. That’s a tough one to get my head around.”

  “Just take it for what it’s worth.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me this then?”

  “You were freaked out over the snakebite. But also, you were just so completely closed off and shut down. I could tell by your body language that you wouldn’t have been very receptive, and probably would’ve just caught the next boat off the island.”

  Dahlia looks out toward the water. “You’re probably right. Although I’m not sure where I would’ve gone,” she mumbles, the notion sinking in again that she has no place else to be.

  “Look, the Old Woman helped me when I needed it, so I don’t completely discount what she says.”

  “What happened to you?”

  “Talking about me wasn’t part of the deal.”

  Chapter 23

  “For you,” Kai says, laying a fragrant pink and yellow frangipani flower in her lap. For the past three days, Kai has brought her the same flower in different colors.

  Dahlia picks it up and smells it, gently fingering the smooth petals. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of the smell.”

  “Same here,” he replies, sitting next to her on the beach. “You know, when I first got here, I thought the beauty would get old. Like with most things, when you get tired of seeing the same things. But here, I’m in awe of this place everyday.”

  Dahlia smiles and looks over at him. “I can see why. Its beauty is ethereal. Almost like, if I close my eyes for too long, it would disappear, or look different, so I want to take it in all the time.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean,” Kai says. “It’s like looking at you.”

  Dahlia’s eyes fall on the flower. “You’re probably not looking close enough because I’m pretty broken.”

  Kai leans back on his hands and sighs. “The Old Woman once told me that everyone is a little bit damaged. She said it’s like gluing the pieces of a shattered vase back together. The cracks are still there no matter what you do. But it’s always possible to make it whole again.”

  “You truly believe that?”

  He nods. “I want to.”

  Dahlia reaches behind and laces her fingers with Kai’s. Being with him brings her a sense of calm and peace that she hasn’t felt around anyone else. Of course, there were glimpses of it with Shane, but there was too much history and fire between them that it never lasted.

  Then, the thought begins to dawn on her—what if Shane had lived? Would they have stayed together as she wants to believe, or burned each other out as Lily suggested? Is she just mourning him, or the potential of what could’ve been, the story she’s chosen to create in her mind?

  Dahlia stands up and heads toward the water. Kai gets up but doesn’t follow. He holds his breath, watching as she dives into the waves, hoping she resurfaces.

  Chapter 24

  “You had me worried,” Kai says, smiling as Dahlia emerges from the water. His eyes, however, betray his concern.

  Dahlia lies back and closes her eyes. “No reason you should’ve. According to the Old Woman, I or someone who looks like me, saves myself.”

  “Are you just trying to test fate then?”

  Dahlia shrugs. “Perhaps. Although if you were that worried, why didn’t you come in after me?”

  Kai reaches for her hand. “Because I know better. You didn’t want me to.”

  “Aren’t you the mind reader today,” Dahlia replies sarcastically.

  “Dahlia, I know because I’ve been there.” Kai squeezes her hand.

  “Been where?”

  “In that deep abyss like you. You want to die because you can’t think of a single reason to live. But dying is so final—it terrifies you. So you think each morning, maybe I’ll find some reason to live, or maybe I won’t hurt as much today. And sometimes it doesn’t.”

  Dahlia looks away, the truth of his words cutting through her.

  “And then sometimes you tempt fate and wonder if you just put y
ourself out there, then perhaps fate or the universe will just put you out of your misery. But you know what?”

  “What?” Dahlia spits out.

  “It doesn’t. It never fucking does.”

  “Why not?” Dahlia fights the tears that are beginning to well.

  “You don’t get off that easily. You have to put that stupid vase back together one piece at a time.”

  “Is that what you did?”

  Kai nods.

  “And? Do you feel better?”

  His smile fades. “Most of the time. It’s not a question of better though. It’s more like, how high is your tolerance? Can you learn to live for yourself and stop giving your life over to a dead person?”

  Dahlia’s jaw drops. “I never mentioned anyone died.”

  “I wasn’t talking about you.”

  Before Dahlia can reply, Kai bends down and plants a gentle kiss on her lips. Taking a step back he says, “Sorry, this whole conversation was getting way too intense. I’ve been dying to do that since the first time we surfed together.”

  She smiles. “It’s alright. In fact, I wouldn’t mind if you did it again.”

  Chapter 25

  Kai hovers over Dahlia, his dark eyes hooded with desire. “Are you sure about that?” he asks in a husky voice. “Because I’ve wanted to taste you since I first laid eyes on you.”

  Dahlia nods, tracing his lips with her finger. “It’s probably the only thing I’m sure of,” she says.

  His warm lips press against hers. The gentle kisses slowly become more passionate as his lips push hers apart, his tongue entering her mouth. She accepts it eagerly, and they begin a graceful dance.

  Dahlia presses her body against Kai’s, feeling his incredible length strain against the thin fabric of his swimsuit. He sits up and draws her to him as he lowers his mouth down her neck, sucking and kissing as he goes. His hot tongue runs up her neck and over to her ear where he suckles and tugs on the soft flesh, tracing her ear with it before putting it inside. The sensation sends shivers down Dahlia’s spine, releasing a pool of her warm juices.