Rock Me (Jaded Ivory Book 1)

by Rebecca Brooke

  I beamed at him. It felt nice to really be a part of something. “We are. And I have something for us.” I stood from my seat on the couch and walked into the kitchen to collect the bottle of champagne I’d bought earlier and a few plastic solo cups. I held them up in my hands for everyone to see. “It’s time to toast the contract properly.”

  Damn, it was like college all over again.

  I gave the bottle to Sawyer, who set about opening it. I heard a loud pop and saw the cork fly across the room. Jackson dived for a cup, sticking it under the flowing champagne. Once they’d passed out the cups, I held mine up.

  “To our soon-to-be first single.”

  Everyone raised their cups and downed the contents of their cup. Not really the way champagne was supposed to be drunk, but it worked for us.

  “I can’t believe this time next week we’ll be in the studio recording Runaway Dream. It was the first song I ever wrote,” Monty said, almost wistfully.

  Jackson nodded. “I remember.” Jackson and Monty had been roommates when we were in college. “And about a month after that it’ll be hitting the airways.”

  My hands shook a little as I held out my cup to Sawyer for a refill. “It’s surreal to think about hearing ourselves on the radio.”

  Sawyer laughed. “And you thought our shows were crowded now. I have a pretty good feeling that these places will have to hire extra security for the nights we play. Shit, with the way the guys look at Mari, I almost want to hire private security for her.”

  “I don’t need private security.”

  And I didn’t. Every night I was surrounded by four guys who would never let any jerk touch me.

  “Speaking of.” Jackson leaned forward resting his arms on his knees. “Do we need to do something about that guy from the other night?”

  My hand froze with the cup halfway to my lips. I had no idea how to answer the question. Did I tell them he was a one-night stand who hadn’t gotten the hint and let them deal with Cole? Or did I tell them who he was and let them in like I promised to do the other night? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Sawyer give me a brief nod and I decided to go with the latter.

  “No. He’s just a guy I went to high school with.”

  “Yeah, but the look on your face tells me there’s more to it than that.” Heath’s knowing eyes were trained on me.

  After my run-in with Cole earlier, I really wanted to forget about him; at least, for one night. I was still a little freaked out by the connection I’d felt when our fingers touched.

  “Let’s just say that Cole was the popular football player and I was the weird music girl and leave it at that. I’m sure we can all put two and two together.” Their eyes all darted away for a moment. Probably thinking about their own rough times in high school. Life was never easy for a teenager who didn’t play sports or have friends in the popular crowd. Some people’s experiences were worse than others. “It’s why I threw the drink in his face, but he didn’t recognize me until the other night.”

  Heath frowned, his brows drawing together. “I don’t mean to be a dick, but didn’t you go home with him last week?”

  Sawyer shot me a look and then crossed his arms over his chest, sitting back in his seat and waiting for my response. He might not have been pissed at me anymore, but I wasn’t naïve enough to think he would help me dig myself out of this one. Heat raced to my cheeks. I averted my eyes and took a drink. “I did. It was a really stupid idea.”

  “Says who? I’ve done the revenge fuck thing before.” My jaw dropped open. I whipped my head around to gape at Monty. “What? It works.”

  “For fuck’s sake.” Jackson lifted his eyes skyward.

  Monty shrugged and went back to his beer. “The head cheerleader thought she was hot shit. Found her working at the local diner a few years ago when I went home for winter break. Apparently, she’d flunked out of school. She was still hot as fuck, though, so when her shift was over, I fucked her in the back seat of my car and sent her on her way.”

  There were still times when the stuff that came out of Monty’s mouth shocked the shit out of me. This was one of those times.

  Sawyer rubbed his fingers over his temples. “Jesus, Monty. I don’t think that’s the same thing.”

  “Me neither,” Heath mumbled, his eyes trained on me, searching for something.

  Silence settled over the room. Not a comfortable silence; one that made you want to say anything to break it.

  “So, the Cabet Room on Friday?” Sawyer turned to Jackson.

  And just like that, the spell was broken. The conversation changed course, focused solely on our future as a band.

  ***

  “Think he’ll show up tonight?” Sawyer glanced over at me from the passenger seat of the car.

  We were on our way to the gig, the first since we’d signed the contract with LiteStar. News had broken locally about the deal, which meant we could be expecting larger than normal crowds. The studio had already paid for additional security. Not that we were a big draw for anyone outside the area, but they were still concerned about their investment and wanted us to be safe, especially since we’d kept our schedule at their request.

  “Probably. I don’t know. He’s been pretty persistent. I honestly didn’t expect him to show up again after I went home with him.”

  I tapped my thumbs on the steering wheel. It was one thing to sing when Cole had no idea who I was. It was another thing to think about singing if he was in the audience, knowing exactly whose voice he was listening to.

  “Mari?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Can you handle it? Or should I—”

  “I slept with him. It won’t happen again. I’m a big girl. I’ll be fine.”

  He nodded and said nothing else. There was no way I’d let them start this shit so early in our careers. Unless I became celibate or avoided the public all together, there was no way to avoid moments when someone in the crowd might make me uncomfortable.

  If only the lone reason I was uncomfortable had to do with the history I had with Cole.

  What I hadn’t mentioned to Sawyer were the dreams I’d continued to have. The ones about Cole and the way his lips felt against mine, and I certainly hadn’t mentioned the times when I’d woken up breathless, having re-experienced the way he’d touched me. I wouldn’t let anyone know that.

  Sawyer was silent the rest of the drive, studying me the way Heath had the other night. By the time we reached the venue, I’d had enough and couldn’t wait to get out of the car, even more thankful than before that the place had separate changing rooms.

  As soon as we stepped through the back entrance, the manager was waiting for us. “Welcome to Cabet Room.” He reached out, shaking both of our hands before gesturing down the hall. “The rest of the band arrived a little bit ago. I set them up in one of our waiting rooms.” He looked over at me. “They mentioned you might want a separate place to change.”

  I held up my bag. “If possible. Otherwise, I’ll make them wait in the hall.” I smiled.

  He chuckled. “That’s no problem. I put the guys in the room on the left, the room to the right is all yours. Something arrived for you earlier and I put it inside already.” He glanced down at his watch. “You have about forty-five minutes. The room is closed for the next half an hour to give you time to set up. The crowd is bigger than we expected so I’m going to head out front to make sure things stay under control. I’ll be back to get you when it’s time.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “No, thank you for not canceling. I heard about your deal with LiteStar. Congratulations. Not all bands would have kept their prescheduled commitments.”

  Sawyer shook his head. “Not our style.”

  “Good to know,” the manager said. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

  The first chance I got, I opened the door to my right and shut myself inside, not wanting to give Sawyer the chance to talk more about Cole when what I really wanted was to let it go.

 
I heard the door on the other side of the hall close and I knew Sawyer had gone to round up the guys to bring the equipment in and set up. Normally I was all about pulling my weight, but not tonight. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to help. It more had to do with needing a few minutes to wrap my head around all of it: Sawyer’s constant questions, Heath’s assessing gaze, Cole’s attempt to talk, and the contract. All of it put together made for a very stressful week. A few minutes alone would do me good.

  In my need to get away, I’d almost forgotten what the manager said about something being delivered there for me. I glanced around the room. To the right sat a long counter with a mirror, and directly in front of that mirror sat a vase of beautiful flowers in all varieties of colors and types. Would the guys really have gotten me flowers again? They hadn’t since the last time I told them I didn’t need flowers, but the gesture was lovely. Picking up the card, I took in their sweet-smelling aroma.

  Mariella,

  Words cannot express how sorry I am for all the hurt I caused you. I know that flowers and apologies aren’t enough, but if you would give me a chance to talk, I can prove I’m not the same dumb idiot you knew before.

  Cole

  I dropped the card as if it had scalded me, but not before I saw his number written on the bottom, letting me know I could call or text whenever. I didn’t want to admit to the small flutter of my heart when I saw his name and I did my best to ignore it.

  I picked the card back up, sliding it carefully into the envelope and stowing it in my purse. The flowers would go somewhere else. I didn’t have it in me to get rid of the card. I might not trust him to sit down and talk, but the apology, sincere or not, was nice to hear.

  A soft knock came on the door. “Mari?” Sawyer’s voice called from the other side.

  “Come in.” Time alone hadn’t done me any good. Not with flowers from Cole taunting me from the counter.

  “Hey,” he said, opening the door. “I came to tell you— Oh, who sent you flowers?”

  “Cole.”

  He pursed his lips. “Cole sent you flowers?”

  “He did.” I tried to paste on a smile, even though I knew he’d see right through it.

  “And? What did the card say?” He hadn’t moved from the doorway.

  I busied myself taking things out of my bag. “That he’s sorry and wants to apologize in person.”

  Sawyer walked forward and wrapped his arms around me, holding my back to his front. “Are you going to meet him?”

  “No. There’s nothing he could say to make me think that’s a good idea.”

  He held me tighter. “Whatever you want.”

  “I want to sing and not worry about flowers or apologies. I want to enjoy finally knowing that it was all worth it in the end.” I looked up at him in the mirror and watched the smile spread across his face.

  “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

  “And tomorrow you’re coming with me to the tattoo place.”

  He raised a brow. “Time for a new bird?”

  I smiled back. “You got it.”

  He moved his hands to the top of my shoulders. “You know you’re gonna run out of room someday, if you keep it up. You have tiny little shoulders.”

  “Then I guess I’ll need to find another way to mark the occasion.”

  “I’m sure you’ll think of something.” He gave a squeeze and met my gaze in the mirror. “Everything is set up and ready to go.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that,” I said, glancing down at the floor.

  He rested his head on top of mine. “Don’t worry. I could tell you needed a few minutes alone.”

  “You always know exactly what I need.”

  “Not always, but I’ll take the compliment.” He kissed me on the cheek. “We’ll be next door if you want to hang out with us.”

  “Give me a few minutes and I’ll be over.”

  “Okay.” Sawyer left, shutting the door behind him.

  I paced back and forth across the room trying to shake the nerves that had come over me. My stomach was still tied in knots but my hands were no longer shaking when I left to sit with the guys. It wasn’t long after that the manager came to get us.

  I walked down the hall biting my nails.

  “Mari? Are you okay?” Jackson asked. “I haven’t see you this nervous since the first time we sang together.”

  I quickly dropped my hands. “I’m fine. Just excited for tonight.”

  He kept his gaze on me. Like with Sawyer and Heath, the intense scrutiny unnerved me. It would appear that letting the guys in came with all sorts of strings.

  Finally, he nodded and turned toward the stage door and I took a full breath.

  The manager introduced the band and I entered the stage, the guys patting my back or squeezing my fingers on the way past. I couldn’t stop my gaze from wandering through the crowd. I told myself I wasn’t looking for him. No, I was appreciating the moment.

  Liar.

  My heart jolted in my chest.

  There on a stool at the center of the bar was Cole, his bright green eyes trained on me. I forced myself to look away, but the muscles in my body relaxed at the sight of him and I heard the click of Sawyer counting us in.

  Somehow, the guy I’d feared for so long was becoming the one thing that settled me when nothing else worked.

  CHAPTER 11

  Cole

  Over and over, I sent flowers, apology cards, candy, all with my number attached.

  None of it worked.

  It wasn’t like I was any good at this sort of thing, and I was completely out of ideas. I went to all her shows and watched her sing. She had a beautiful voice. I wanted to kick myself for not paying attention before. My attraction to her had only grown in the weeks since our first encounter. Not that I thought being with her was a possibility, considering the history between us. All I could hope for was a chance to apologize.

  The cold beer in my hand did nothing to reduce the heat in my body. Even though I knew I would never have Mari again, the memories of that night had seared themselves in my brain. I’d watch her joke and laugh with the other members of Jaded Ivory and I wanted to punch something.

  “Keep squeezing and you’re gonna break that bottle.”

  I glanced out of the corner of my eye to see the keyboard player had taken the seat next to me. I flexed my hand, the skin over my knuckles slowly returning to its natural color.

  “Guess you’re here to tell me to leave Mari the hell alone.” I drained the rest of my bottle and motioned to the bartender for another.

  He gestured to the bartender to make it two. “Nope. I’m over here for a different reason.”

  The bartender set our beers in front of us. I quirked a brow but didn’t bother looking at him. “And that would be?” I tipped back the bottle.

  “To help you get Mari to listen.”

  Beer sprayed from my lips and without breaking stride he handed me a napkin and took a swig of his drink.

  “I’ve seen you at every show we play, always watching Mari. A few weeks ago, Mari told us who you were. She didn’t mention much of what happened, just that you hadn’t made high school a very pleasant experience for her.”

  I cringed. “And with how protective I’ve seen you guys of her you don’t want to kick my ass?”

  The keyboard player scoffed. “Oh, I definitely wanted to do that. Mari begged us not to. Then the gifts started arriving.”

  I rolled the bottle between my hands. I’d thought the gifts might get through to her, and my persistence show her that apologizing really meant something to me. But I’d been wrong. “Which she’s ignored. Probably all ended up in the trash before she even read the cards. I know she’d never consider being friends with me. I only want to apologize—show her I’m not the same guy I was back then.”

  I noticed his gaze had strayed to the far corner of the bar where Mari sat, her back to us, chatting away like she didn’t know or care that I was there.

  And why should she?<
br />
  “Sawyer would kick my ass if he knew I was over here, but Jackson, Monty, and I agree that it would be good for her.”

  Names were swirling all around. Besides Mari, I had no idea who he was talking about. It may not have been important, but it would make the conversation a whole lot less confusing. “Who?”

  He laughed. “Shit, I’m sorry. I never introduced myself. I’m Heath.” He nodded his head toward the booth with Mari. “That’s Jackson. Sawyer’s about to take his shot at the table and Monty’s watching.”

  “Cole.”

  I offered my hand and he smirked, leaving it hanging in midair in favor of tearing at the label of his beer. “Yeah, I kinda knew that already.”

  “Good point. So besides this Sawyer guy, you all want Mari to sit down with me?”

  He gestured toward her. “Yep. Monty and Jackson are keeping them busy so we can chat. When we mention you, Sawyer shoots death glares at us. Mari just pretends we haven’t said anything.”

  I set my beer down. Whatever he had to tell me, I wanted to be sober for this conversation. “Can you help me?”

  He drained his drink and set the bottle down. “You know she watches you?”

  Good thing I wasn’t drinking anymore, otherwise I might have spit my beer all over again. “She does?”

  “Every gig. You’re the first person she looks for. I think she tells herself she’s hoping you aren’t there, but you can tell that’s not the case the minute she gets on stage. Her whole posture relaxes that minute her eyes land on you. One time, I think you must have been in the bathroom or something because she kept looking. Didn’t settle until you took your seat at the bar. Deep down, I think there’s a part of her that wants you to be different.”

  His words made my heart thunder in my chest. Could that really be the case? Physically, our chemistry was like an electric current, obliterating everything in its path. I’d wanted her with a vengeance that night. The simple taste of her lips made my dick hard and my head spin. But could there be something emotional there, too?