Rock Me (Jaded Ivory Book 1)

by Rebecca Brooke

  “What do you think I should do? Like I said, I’ve sent her a million things and I don’t think she’s read one of the cards attached.”

  “Oh, she’s read every single one.”

  Every.

  Single.

  One.

  She was reading them. She hadn’t bothered to call or even acknowledge my presence at her shows, but she’d read my words. And yet every time, she walked past me without a word, pretending not to see me.

  “She read them and still nothing?”

  Heath sighed. “How much do you remember about Mari?”

  My stomach clenched, the beer threatening to make a reappearance. “Not much. Most of the memories I have, I’m pretty sure she’d rather forget. Then again, so would I.”

  His eyes narrowed. “I figured. Do you know the last time we bought her flowers?”

  “Why would you guys buy her flowers?”

  He dropped his elbow onto the bar and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. “Because she sang with us when she didn’t have to, but that’s . . . Anyway, we bought her flowers as a thank you. Do you know what she did with them? She took them to a nursing home. Said thank you, but she didn’t need them like the elderly in the nursing home did.”

  The woman had a heart of gold. After everything we’d put her through, she’d still found a way to see the good in people. A way to take care of people.

  Maybe she could see that in me?

  “Your flowers ended up in the same places, along with the chocolate. The cards, I’m not sure about.”

  There was a slight pressure behind my eye. So far, he hadn’t said anything that would help me get a chance to talk to Mari.

  “Okay. Not sure where that leaves me.”

  “She said you were a jock. You take too many hits to the head or something?”

  The label of the beer bottle became dust under my fingernails. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “God, right now I wanna smack you upside the head for being so dense. It means that Mari thinks other people deserve the flowers more than her.”

  I hung my head, not wanting to see his face when I admitted the truth. “I helped do that to her.”

  “You did. Which means it’s going to take some kind of unique gesture on your part to prove to her you’re different. Flowers aren’t exactly original.”

  He pulled his phone out of his pocket, his fingers flying over the keys. “I’m out of time. They’re almost done playing pool.” He pulled a card out and handed it to me. It was a Jaded Ivory business card. I pulled out my wallet and tucked the card inside. “That’s my number. If you need to know where we’ll be playing when you think of something, shoot me a text.”

  He threw some money on the bar and walked back toward the table with Mari and the other guy. He shook his phone in his hand, probably pretending that he’d had to make a call.

  Needing to go home and think about everything that had been said, I cashed out my tab and for the first time since I’d figured out who she was, I left the bar before Mari.

  Ryan was watching ESPN when I walked in the door. “You’re home early. Still no luck?”

  I sat down next to him. “Not with Mari, but I had an interesting conversation with one of her band members.”

  “About what?”

  I told him about the whole surreal conversation with Heath, including his advice on how to win Mari over.

  He shrugged. “Simple. You knew her for at least four years. What kind of things does she like?”

  I closed my eyes, resting my head on the back of the couch. “The shitty thing is, I have no idea. I honestly never paid much attention to her and what she liked and disliked.”

  He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fuck. The more you tell me, the more I feel like I don’t even know you.”

  “No, you don’t know the old me—and trust me when I say that’s a good thing. He was cocky and arrogant. Thought he could do anything he wanted, whenever he wanted.”

  “What are you going to do then? Sounds to me like the guy’s right. Whatever you come up with must be unique to you.”

  I groaned. “I know, but I have no idea what that could be.”

  We sat in silence, the TV the only sound in the room as I tried to rack my brain and come up with something. Eventually I got frustrated and stood up. “I have to work in the morning.”

  He shot me a look, then turned his gaze back to the TV. “Whatever, dude. You’ve only been torturing me for weeks about this chick and now you’re giving up.”

  My fingers dug into my palms. “I’m not giving up,” I growled through clenched teeth. “But I can’t think of anything right at this moment, and staying up all night and being useless at work tomorrow won’t help me think of anything, either.”

  I must have missed the twinkle of humor in his eyes, as a smirk rose over his lips. “Good. At least you’re not giving up after weeks of work.”

  My hands and jaw relaxed. “You’re an asshole.”

  “I try.”

  That night I lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling, my mind blank. What could I possibly do to win her over? So many memories and none of her likes or dislikes. I didn’t really know anything about her, except that she liked music.

  Like a freight train, the idea hit me.

  She liked music.

  There was one thing I could do, unique to me, to prove myself to her.

  I jumped from the bed and flipped on the light, fishing the card Heath had given me earlier from my wallet. Pulling it out, I sent a text to the number on the front and climbed back into bed. A few minutes later my phone buzzed.

  Heath would help. Perfect.

  I lay back down and smiled up at the ceiling. I had a plan. Now all I had to do was put it into action.

  CHAPTER 12

  Mari

  “This place is bigger than I expected.”

  I wasn’t kidding. The backstage area alone was twice the size of the stages we’d played on up until now. With the release of our first single coming up in the next two weeks, the studio had started booking additional venues for us to play. Our crowd size continued to grow and they wanted to keep the momentum up, hoping that once it was available, the fans would immediately download the song.

  Monty stepped into the room behind me and let out a low whistle.

  The B&B Lounge wasn’t a bar. While they did serve drinks, this was a concert venue, not a place for people to hang out. It was a place where people paid to get in and see a band.

  And tonight that band was Jaded Ivory.

  Being on the stage where some of my favorite bands had performed was surreal. I kept wondering if I was going to wake up and realize it was all a dream.

  A light tap touched my shoulder.

  “Whatcha thinking?” Heath stood behind me, his eyes darting around the space.

  I laughed. “I’m actually in awe right now. Think of the bands we love who’ve played here before us.”

  He rested his arm over my shoulder. “Unreal, right?”

  “You can say that again.”

  “Unreal, right?” He smiled then jerked his head backward. “Come on, I’ll show you where the dressing rooms are.”

  I quirked my brow. “Already scouting out the place?”

  “You bet your ass I have. I was curious.”

  My cheeks hurt from all the smiling. “Lead the way then.”

  When I entered the dressing room, I was surprised to find it empty of anything but my stuff. Maybe Cole had given up. It had been weeks and I hadn’t tried to talk to him at all, but the gifts had kept coming, and even though the reason behind the gifts caused me heartache, I’d began to look forward to them. I hadn’t thrown any of the cards away, choosing instead to keep them hidden in my bedroom, away from Sawyer.

  Pushing my disappointment aside, I focused on getting ready. Tonight was too big a night to let my head get in the way.

  Almost three hours later, electric energy coursed through me as I left the stage. I’d never f
elt so alive after a performance. The crowd’s excitement was almost tangible. We’d done two encores. I should have been exhausted, instead my body felt light as a feather. Prancing down the hall to the dressing room I knew, even with the risk of losing my voice, I could have sung all night.

  The guys had already hustled equipment into the van and were just waiting on me to change, wanting to go out and celebrate our first big performance. I’d argued that I was fine going as I was, but Heath insisted I change, his eyes bright with excitement when he sent me on my way.

  The door swung open and my heart leapt into my throat. A brand-new Fender guitar sat on a stand in the middle of the room. A bow attached to the neck of the guitar held a gift tag.

  Mari,

  I believe I owe you this.

  Cole

  That was the first time he’d called me Mari since finding out I was Mariella. I hadn’t expected him to remember. The room blurred at the thought of my warped guitar bag. It had been my sixteenth birthday present. My parents wanted to throw me a sweet sixteen party but I’d begged them not to, fear of no one showing up, or worse, the popular kids gate-crashing made me not want anything to do with a birthday party. Mom had been a little sad, but said she wouldn’t throw me a party if I didn’t want one.

  On the morning of my birthday, I’d found the guitar of my dreams at the end of my bed.

  A brand-new Fender.

  The spotlights in my room reflected off the shiny black finish. My parents had decided to spend all their money on the one thing I wanted above all others, but never thought I’d be able to afford.

  It had been my most prized possession . . .

  Until it wasn’t.

  That day was etched in my head with vivid clarity. Brian’s arm had been resting over my shoulders, and no matter how many times I tried to shrug him off, he’d stayed there, pretending to hit on me. Sam the asshole had already made Maria cry. All I’d wanted was for them to leave us alone for once. His arm had finally moved and I’d been about to get up when the sound of splintering wood filled my ears.

  I closed my eyes tight, my hands over my ears to block the sound of my guitar shattering because even though it was just a memory, the pain came as fresh as if it were happening all over again.

  Warm arms encircled me in a tight embrace. I buried my face against his chest and let it all go. My entire body jerked under the force of my sobs. It seemed so trivial. A broken guitar. Why cry over that? It wasn’t just that, it was everything that broken guitar represented. I hadn’t cried this hard since the day I turned around to see Cole sitting on the case.

  “Please don’t cry,” a voice whispered as warm hands rubbed comforting circles across my back. “I’m sorry.”

  The voice cut through everything and I jumped back out of his embrace.

  “Mari,” Cole pleaded.

  “What are you doing here?” I brushed furiously at my face, hating the fact he’d seen me crying. Mariella cried. Mari didn’t.

  He lifted his hands palms up and took a step forward. “The same thing I’ve been doing for weeks. Trying to prove to you I’m not that guy anymore.”

  “I can’t accept that.” I pointed at the guitar, relieved that my voice sounded a little stronger than it had a few moments ago.

  He took another step forward, then another. “Yes, you can.”

  I shook my head, holding my ground. “No, I can’t.”

  He continued walking until he was right in front of me, close enough to reach out and lightly caress my cheek with his fingers. I just barely controlled the shiver that coursed through me. “Yes, you can. It’s a debt I should have paid a long time ago.”

  I sucked in a breath. His words were like a physical jolt. Never in all my life would I have expected Cole Wallace to speak those words to me. He was standing there, gazing down at me. I had to know and this might be my only chance to ask and see the truth in his eyes. “Why?”

  “Break the guitar?”

  I nodded, afraid to speak.

  “I didn’t mean to.”

  I wanted to slap him. To slap him and to call him a liar and then run.

  But something in his eyes stopped me. His gaze never wavered, never moved from mine. Could he be telling the truth?

  “What do you mean you didn’t mean to?”

  “I’d been trying to get Brian and Sam to leave you and your friends alone. I won’t lie and say it wasn’t for purely selfish reasons. If they’d gotten caught, Coach would have benched them and we needed them for the game.”

  That admission hurt. Deep down I knew the answers weren’t all going to be sunshine and roses. “Sam gave up pretty quickly, but Brian was determined. When I took hold of his arm, I’d expected him to shake me off. What I hadn’t expected was for Sam to have moved your guitar behind me, or for Brian to shove me to the floor.” He shook his head as if trying to shake off the memory. “I might have been an egotistical dick, but I would never have intentionally destroyed someone else’s property.”

  “Just their self-esteem.”

  His face fell. “Please, Mari. I know I’ve made so many mistakes with you, I don’t even want to count them. At least let me take you to dinner and I can use the time to grovel for every single one of them.”

  Something occurred to me and it left a sour taste in my mouth. “How did you get back here? This place isn’t like the other ones we’ve played. You need a pass to get backstage.”

  “I helped him.” Heath stepped around the doorway, followed by Jackson.

  My throat closed. I whipped my head around, shooting daggers from my eyes at the two betraying assholes. “I trusted you.” My voice was barely above a whisper.

  I brushed past Cole and went to do the same to Heath and Jackson when Heath stepped in front of me, wrapping his hands around my upper arms.

  “You did and now I’m asking you to keep trusting me.”

  “Please, Mari. Just listen,” Jackson begged.

  Heath lifted my chin with his fingers, forcing me to make eye contact. “I never would have helped him if I didn’t believe him. Someone that only wants to fuck with you doesn’t spend weeks trying to get your attention, buying you things. Buying you a fucking Fender. Someone who wants to fuck with you would have just given up by now.”

  “You don’t know him,” I yelled.

  “Neither do you.” Heath’s tone was a hard as mine. “But I can tell you I’ve watched him sit there, night after night, watching you.” I glanced over at Cole, who stood in the same spot, wringing his hands in front of him. He didn’t look like the Cole I knew back then. The Cole back then would have met my gaze without shame. He would have stared me down. And the Mariella I was would have let him.

  Maybe we’d both changed?

  “Mari?” My attention returned to Heath. “Let him apologize. Let him grovel. Let him beg. You need this more than you realize.” He ran his fingers over the tattoos on my shoulder. “Whether you believe him or not.”

  Sawyer had gone with me to get the first bird on my shoulder, but Heath had been there a few times since then. He knew what they meant to me. Would listening to Cole apologize really help me, or would it just give Cole a reason to alleviate his own conscience?

  I didn’t even want to think about how readily I’d accepted his comfort earlier. Granted, I hadn’t known it was Cole, but his arms had helped me relax enough to let my guard down, the emotions racing to the surface. Sawyer was the only one who usually saw that side of me.

  The silence stretched on and on, my heart still in my throat.

  “Mari?” Jackson lifted a hand to swipe a tear off my cheek. “Please go. We’re not trying to help him. We’re trying to help you.”

  The sincerity in their eyes was my undoing. Anger burned through me. Heath and Jackson had no right to interfere in any of this—to help one of the people from my past who most likely didn’t deserve it. Rationally, I knew that they wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, but that didn’t stop me from lashing out, wrenching my arms from He
ath’s grasp and stepping away.

  “Fine. I’ll go. But you two can go right to hell for all I care.” Without a backward glance, I snapped, “I’m leaving, if you’re coming let’s go.”

  I stormed from the room. Cole could follow or not. I wasn’t waiting for him.

  “Mari.” Jackson reached for me. I didn’t bother responding, just flipped him off and kept walking.

  My fight or flight response had kicked in.

  It was time to fight.

  I’d learned a long time ago that being meek only made things worse. Cole had seen me cry once tonight, and it sure as shit wasn’t going to happen again.

  CHAPTER 13

  Cole

  That was not how I’d expected the night to start. Seeing Mari cry the moment I stepped around the corner had been like a vise around my chest. I didn’t stop, didn’t think about her reaction, I simply held her.

  The night we’d spent in my bed had nothing on the sensation of having her seek comfort in my arms. For some reason the gesture was much more intimate. A connection I’d never had with someone before, and not one I deserved. I’d earned anger and hatred, but tears? I had a feeling I caused enough tears to last Mari a lifetime.

  As I watched her retreat I stood frozen to my spot, unsure if any of this was a good idea anymore.

  “She’s never going to forgive us.” Jackson rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes on the floor. Heath hadn’t taken his eyes off Mari as she stormed down the hall.

  “She will. She just needs time to calm down. And listen to what he has to say.” He turned to me. “My suggestion is to get your ass on the move. She’s not going to wait and if she finds Sawyer, she’s outta here.”

  I didn’t bother responding. Grabbing the guitar, I jogged down the hall. It wasn’t until I reached the front door that I caught up with Mari, who stood at the exit, arms crossed over her chest, lips flattened into a thin line.

  “I don’t have my car,” she snapped.

  I pulled my keys out of my pocket.

  It was like a sheet of ice had settled over her, thicker than it had been the last few weeks and I needed to find a way to thaw it. I held the guitar out to her.