Courting Crazy

by J G Jerome

  She clasps her hands at her waist and looks down, “Lord, my parents named me Jaathpo. In our dialect, it means ‘ox.’ I hate my name, but I’m big and ugly and it fits.” She sniffs and looks to the side.

  I cup her face, “You are a big woman. Strong, powerful, yet kind enough to call out the virtues of your slave sister. I see your huge, strong muscles. I also see your pretty face and pretty breasts, and how your nipples reach for me. I see how your pussy leaks from your excitement at my nearness and how I stole you from Saureg. I see how you are gaping open to welcome me. You are big and strong, but you are also beautiful and feminine. ‘Ox’ is no fitting name for a woman of your strength, beauty, and virtue. Because you have all three - strength, beauty, and virtue - from this day forth you shall only be called Trinity.”

  I kiss Trinity’s forehead between her brows, each of her eyes, each of her cheeks, and then I plant a warm lover’s kiss on her tusked mouth. I open my eyes from that kiss and see tears of joy streaming down her cheeks. I kiss them dry as I did for Grace. Then I stand and offer her my hand. “Trinity, welcome to my family.” She takes my hand and rises. I caress the underside of her left breast and wink at her smile before stepping back to allow Solange to welcome her.

  I step back and stand beside King Salt. He nods, “Well done, Green Lord. I hope things go as well for you in the Winter Court.”

  Solange steps up beside me. “Should I send a message, my darling Lord?”

  I smile at her and lean in to claim her beautiful lips. Then I tell her, “No need. Myra knows I planned to make my displeasure known to Saureg. I had planned to just turn him inside out and leave him until he learned his lesson. Unfortunately, he was such worthless bucket of piss that he had to die.”

  Salt watches as Jort runs over calling, “King Salt! There is a crowd gathering at the door. They’re getting insistent.” As he steps within arm’s reach, Jort thrusts a dagger at Salt’s gut. Salt parries it with his hand and drives a knuckle punch into Jort’s throat.

  Jort lies gasping on the ground. Salt says, “And so it begins. Would you do me a favor and heal him, Jack? He’s a pretty good guy, but it’s almost a genetic imperative to try to take the throne from the new king. I would hate to lose his dumb ass for not being able to control his urges.”

  I kick the blade out of Jort’s hand, then I lean down and place a hand on his shoulder to ease his discomfort by sending healing energy into him.

  Salt says, “Get going, Jack. It’s going to be fucking crazy for the next several hours as I deal with challengers. It should trickle down after two or three days. If you can find a different route home, it might be safer for your family.”

  I nod, “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll talk to you again soon, King Salt.”

  I turn to our guide, “Thorn! Let’s roll. New members of the family, please stay behind my armed warrior ladies and in front of Louis.

  Thorn leads us into the arched corridor. We travel about forty feet at a downward grade until we reach a guard station. Thorn tells the guards, “King Salt is expecting them back today. They are clear to pass.”

  I reach out and clasp his shoulder. “Thorn, thank you for your service. I release you from further duties to me. Please return and help protect your king.”

  He winks and smiles, “As you command, my Lord!”

  “Okay,” I mutter. “Let’s step through the looking glass.” I hear L’liana giggle behind me.

  Then I step into the purplish lighted portal in front of me.

  Chapter 40 - Poor Diplomacy

  (Entry Portal, Winter Court of the Sidhe - Springfield, Missouri)

  I take one step out of the portal before I am accosted by a tall, blond, beautiful bundle of love. Liesl wraps her arms around me and buries her face in my neck. I wrap her up in my arms and keep moving forward to make room for the rest of my entourage. Geri flies up and wraps her arms around me, too.

  I hook a hand under Liesl’s firm tushy to lift her and wrap my right around Geri and lift her as I step forward and to the side. I shuffle towards the large bat standing in the shadows. Once I get there, I set them down.

  I murmur, “Kiss me, Liesl. I need your lips.”

  She looks up with moist eyes, “I need yours too, my Lord.” Then she devours my mouth. I give as good as I get. She finally relents and releases me. She wipes her eyes. “I don’t ever want to go through that again, Jack,” she tells me. “Ever! I was so worried that she was hunting you down. I couldn’t bear the thought of you being hurt. It was worse than being punished for doing my duty.”

  Geri looks up from under my arm and says, “I wasn’t worried about you being hurt, my Lord. I was worried about you not having anyone to love you as well as we would. I know you wouldn’t run short of volunteers,” she points to the queue of naked goblins ladies following my warrior women. “But I know that Liesl and I are your favorites!”

  I grin down at her, “Get up here, Dynamite!”

  Geri climbs up my body to wrap her arms and legs around me. I squeeze her tight, round ass as we kiss. “Hmmmm,” she says. “I needed that, my Love. Now let’s go punish some Shadows and ‘Queen A’ for fucking with our family.” Her face turns fierce as she slides down my body. “My captain needs rescuing. Let’s go, my Lord!”

  I look at the bat, “Hello, I’m Jack. Are you Esmerelda? Or do you prefer Esmi?”

  She laughs, “Esmi is just fine, Lord. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Myra has been gushing over you non-stop.”

  I tell her, “Seriously, Esmi. I’ve been pining for her, too. Okay, to the audience chamber. Esmi, please lead the way.”

  Esmi grimaces her bat-like face into what I think is a smile before saying, “This way, Lord.”

  We walk down a carved corridor. It looks like a cave with foot-level lighting and wall sconces. There is a guard station just before the first curve in the corridor. Esmi tells the two shadows on duty, “I’m to take this party to the queen’s audience chamber.”

  One guard replies, “You may pass.”

  We continue around a curve that runs about thirty meters before opening into the back of a large hall. It still looks like a cavern, but with red granite Doric columns holding the carved vaulted ceiling. There are eight on a side, and it looks like there is about twenty feet of hall outside the columns. There are four additional columns across the front where a dais sits holding a throne. I notice Laurel standing before the throne with six knights in armor and two armed ladies escorting her. Arianna is sitting on the throne looking shrewdly down at her.

  I scan along the back wall where we entered. There are two more corridors opening to the left of the one we’re using. A fourth, fifth, and sixth corridor arrayed to the right.

  I ask Esmi, “Where do the other corridors lead?”

  She stops and points to the far left, “The first one is to the Summer Court outside Columbia, Missouri. The next is to the Lady of the West’s hall outside Wichita, Kansas. The other side is to the European Sith of the Winter Court under the Schattenburg in the Bavarian alps, which has several other active portals. The next one is to the home of the Sluagh in the west - deep under the Balankanche cave complex in Mexico near Chichen Itza. Fortunately, none of the ‘explorers’ have found the local entrance to our home there. The last one is assignable. It mostly gets used to go to Sedona at the moment.”

  I look across the open hall and see a metal stand with a familiar, bloody body hanging from it.

  I feel rage start to build as I march forward towards.

  I hear an alarm clock ring as I make my way towards the whipping tree. Trevor steps out from behind the column and shakes out a long whip. He turns to face Corrina and shakes the whip out behind him. I blink.

  He sneers at Corrina and calls, “Wakey, wakey, Captain. Time for me to water the ground with your blood.”

  He throws his arm back before whipping it forward and nearly pulls himself off his feet. He whips his head around to see me standing on the tail of the whip. I start walking t
owards him on the whip one slow step at a time.

  “Trevor, I know you’re not enjoying whipping my beloved Captain,” I say as my eyes glare with green fire.

  “You!” he exclaims. “It’s time for you to die, human!” He reaches for the sword at his side.

  I spit in disgust as I extend my left hand and lift him off his feet, “As if you had enough game to do it, Trevor. I know you were ordered to punish her, but no one compelled you to revel in it! I’m gonna bring the pain to your doorstep, child.”

  I look towards Corrina. Liesl, Geri, and Solange all steady her and hold her up to take the pressure off her wrists and shoulders..

  “Put me down,” Trevor yells.

  Myra comes into my view on my right wearing a longer, silky version of her favorite wrap-around dress, trailing the rest of the Ravens, Christie, Chelsea, and Tiphanae as I hoist Trevor higher until he nearly reaches the ceiling. “With pleasure,” I reply to him. Then I throw him down from the ceiling with as much velocity as I can manage. I reach for Myra and pull her into a passionate kiss as I hear him ‘splat.’

  I gasp to her, “Hello, my beautiful wife! I have missed you so much.”

  “I’ve missed you too, my wonderful husband,” she answers quietly with a glorious smile.

  “Give me a second,” I whisper into her ear. “That took a lot out of me. I need a moment to recharge.”

  Myra wraps her arm around me and leads me slowly to stand about thirty feet in front of the throne. We’re also about thirty feet to the right of Laurel and her party. Myra looks at Ariana, “Mother, I am quite wroth with you. Jack tells me that Laurel has nearly destroyed your sanity. Only because of that do I forgive you. We still need to take care of you.”

  I add. “Hello Ariana. Remember me?”

  She looks at me and her mouth opens into an ‘O.’ She is wearing a very interesting outfit. She is wearing fuck-me-pumps with 4-inch stilettos, stockings, and a black lace robe over a black camisole that drapes over her generous, unbound breasts. I can’t see what she is wearing on the bottom half, but her stocking-clad leg crossed at the knee bares one of her thighs above her stocking before it disappears inside her cover-up.

  “I guess that means you do,” I say.

  Her eyes go soft. “Jack! I’ve not done a very good job of following your instructions,” she sobs.

  “It’s okay, Arianna. We’re going to make everything better. The Queen of the Fae will help.”

  Laurel shouts, “That is me!” I look at her. “I am not going to help that worthless cow!” She exclaims. I notice she is wearing a dark green sword belt, and there is a matching sheathed sword hanging from it.

  I think, *Durec! Is she wearing Morningstar and Gisela?*

  *I can’t see, Lord. Can you picture them in your mind’s eye?*

  I try to do what he asked.

  *Yes, Lord. Those are the relics.*

  *Thanks, Durec.* I also notice the brunette female escort is wearing a bronzed bracelet on her right wrist that looks very familiar. ‘Oh shit! Here we go again!” She looks like she might be related to Selene.

  “No, Laurel.” I respond. “You are not the Queen of Fae. I think beauty and grace are required, and you seem to be seriously lacking in both. I should have my new friend Grace give you lessons. I think you could learn a lot,” indicating the shy Goblin beauty as I finish my response.

  Laurel pushes through her guards fuming, and her eyes start to glow sky blue. “You will submit to me!” she growls.

  I reach my will toward her and put her to sleep. She falls down and lays still on the floor.

  I crook a finger at L’liana and Louis. I point at Laurel, “Team, keep an eye on her. She bears watching. Let me know if she comes around.”

  One of Laurels’ guards points at me, “What have you done to our Lady? Undo it!”

  Louis and L’liana pull their swords. Supreet hisses as she glides up and draws all four of her swords and both daggers.

  I tell them, “Take it easy, people. He’s not actually threatened any of our family.” Then I turn to the guard and tell him, “Pay attention, Pretty Boy. I put her to sleep, so I didn’t have to kill her to keep her from doing something more stupid than her norm. I let her live. Do you have a problem with that?” He fumes, but shakes his head.

  I tell my guards, “Let her guards do their job. Let me know if they get stupid or she starts coming around. I need to go care for my captain.”

  I turn to the seated Winter Queen, “Arianna, I will be right back if you’re okay for the moment.”

  She says, “I’m okay, Jack. Go ahead.”

  Then Myra and I walk over to where Solange, Liesl and Geri are holding Corrina up between them. She looks at me and smiles slightly. She croaks out, “You came for me, my Lord and my Queen!” Trina is giving her small sips from a water bottle while Daphne and Sowie release the chain that lowers her to the ground

  When she has taken in a little water, I cup her face, lean in, and kiss her. “You are mine. I am yours. Forever.” I pull the shackles from her wrist.

  Myra kisses her cheek, “Always, darling. Always!”

  I assess Corrina’s injuries as she closes her eyes, “Thank you, my great loves.” Her voice is still little more than a croak.

  I find torn skin, damaged muscles in her back, shoulders, and wrists. She’s dehydrated, famished, and sleep deprived. I think I’ve recovered well enough to do this and whatever else I need to face today. I breathe deeply and then kiss her again as I heal the muscle damage in her shoulders and back, then in her wrists. I follow that by healing her skin and finally encouraging her body to release energy from what little stored fat she has.

  She stands slowly on her own. She caresses my cheek. “Jack, please heal that piece of shit. I want him to be healthy when I kill him.”

  I ask, “How are you with a whip, my darling Captain? I’m thinking ‘culpae poenae par esto’’ might be the answer. I think that’s the appropriate term. Make the punishment fit the crime.”

  She looks at me blankly. I tell her, “Don’t get me wrong. I want him dead too, but it’s not going to make either of us feel better for very long. We’ll hang him up, and you whip him. 100 strokes or until your arm gets tired. Whichever takes longer.”

  She holds my face, “No, Lord. He took pleasure in it. I must end him.”

  I look in her eyes and weigh her words. “This can’t be the solution every time, my darling.” I hug her and she melts into me. “We need as many of the Sidhe healthy and functioning as we can get. However, I fear in this case you may be correct.”

  She pulls me into a kiss that lingers for much longer than is seemly, but I can’t find it in my heart to mind. She pulls back and caresses my face with the palm of her hand. “We can let him lie there for a while to see if I get more forgiving over time, my Lord and Master.”

  I nod and then kiss her gently. Then I lean into her ear and whisper, “I was so worried I would lose you, my beloved C’rina. I am so happy we were able to release and heal you.”

  She smiles shyly at me. I ask, “Would you like my coat? You’ve been hanging here for so long, I thought you might like a modicum of privacy for a change.” She nods and smiles at me.

  I pull off my car coat, and she turns holding her arms back. I slide it up her beautiful, strong arms and onto her shapely shoulders. It’s a shame to cover all that loveliness, but I suspect it will help her emotional recovery. It hangs lower than some of Trina’s party dresses - a little lower than mid-thigh. I’ll have to make do with ogling the remainder of her legs.

  She turns and smiles as she loosens the cuffs and rolls them up to her mid forearm. Oh! I can ogle her cleavage, too!

  “Please stay here with your sisters, C’rina.” She nods her assent and takes the water bottle from Trina.

  I grab Myra’s left hand, and Trina hooks an arm in the crook of Myra’s right arm. We start to move towards Ariana on her throne when Selene approaches us and stops me. She bows to Myra and says, “Forgive
me, my Queen, but I think it may be important to the safety of our family.” Myra cocks an eyebrow at me and nods to her.

  I say, “It’s okay, Selene. I expect you to let me know of threats in a timely manner. What’s going on?”

  Selene keeps her eyes on the three of us as she says, “The brunette escort, my Lord. She has a bracelet like the one I had.”

  I nod and tell her, “I noticed her. She looks like she could be your cousin. Do you know her?”

  Selene shakes her head, “No, my Lord. She has similar features to me, but I don’t know her. It makes me wonder if the Dread Lord may have infiltrated Summer the same way he did Winter.”

  “Maybe, Selene. I suspect she’s your half-sister. Please take a moment to spin up Lili, Louis, and Supreet,” I say as I point to them. I notice Chelsea and Tiphanae joining them to face off with the Summer knights. I find it interesting that Laurel didn’t bring Abraxas with her.

  I survey the room and see Megan standing towards the back of the hall, hugging and talking to a beauty dressed like a dominatrix. Esmi and Sowie are watching over them. Daphne and Charli are behind Myra, Trina, and myself. My Goblin ladies are right behind them. There are a lot of people filing in to stand along the pillars. I see Jason in armor leading two squads of knights in front of the throne to join the two squads of Ravens already on either side of their queen. Each knight is in uniform of mixed plate and chain with a kite shield. Each knight carries a spear in addition to having a longsword and dagger. I almost chuckle at the cognitive dissonance when I notice they also have shoulder holsters with pistols.

  Once the knights are in position, the Ravens array themselves on the dais closer to the throne.

  Myra guides us to stand before the dais and bows. Trina and I follow her example. Then Myra says, “Mother, allow me to introduce my husband and the father of my child. You know him as Jack Jerome. He is also the Green Lord.” She pauses for a moment. “Do you know what that means, Mother?”