nowhere

by Marysue Hobika

  “Hi,” he said, a huge smile spreading across his handsome face. I almost forgot myself as I stared into his bright green eyes. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been staring, but when Pops cleared his throat, I snapped out of it.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked through gritted teeth. I quickly crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly remembering I was wearing pajamas and no bra.

  “I have the afternoon free. I thought maybe we could take that hike now.”

  “So you just show up, assuming that I’d drop what I was doing and go on a hike with you.” My voice rose an octave.

  “I can see you’ve been busy.” James nodded at my outfit and Pops laughed. I shot him a dark look to let him know I didn’t appreciate him taking James’s side in any of this.

  “I’ve been—” I was trying to think of a logical excuse for still being in my pajamas, when Pop-Pop interrupted.

  “If you don’t want to go, you can help me in the garden. It needs some attention. There are weeds to pull, plants to water, and vegetables to pick for the stand. I was waiting for you to help me replenish our supply and empty the cash box. If you’d rather stay home, you can always help me.” He grinned.

  I couldn’t believe the nerve of my own grandfather, trying to set me up. He knew I loathed gardening. I glared at the two of them. I felt like I was being backed into a corner and there was no way out.

  “I need a few minutes to get ready,” I grumbled in defeat.

  “Take your time. I’m not in a hurry.”

  “James can keep me company,” Pops spoke up. “I have a few crossword puzzle questions that I couldn’t answer because someone was too busy this morning to help.” I watched as Pop led James toward the kitchen. He was already pulling the puzzle out of his front pocket. “Are you any good at puzzles?”

  I sighed and raced up the stairs two at a time. I didn’t want them talking and comparing notes about me.

  I slammed my door, rattling the windows. I dashed around my room, gathering my strewn clothes. I didn’t know what to wear for a hike. I’d noticed that James wore torn jeans, a T-shirt and sneakers. I wondered if he had on jeans because there’d be branches to scratch up his legs, or if he always wore them. I’d never seen him in anything else. Quickly, I pulled on a clean pair of jean shorts and a turquoise T-shirt. I ran into the bathroom. In record time I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and redid my ponytail. I’d been gone ten minutes, tops. As I raced back down the stairs, Pop-pop’s laughter filled the air. Oh, no. This can’t be good.

  “What’s going on?” I asked, sounding out of breath.

  “Your grandfather suggested I use some of these tomatoes,” James explained, holding up a large ripe beefsteak, “to make sandwiches to bring along on our hike.”

  “Great idea,” I said, faking a smile. I was going to have a talk with Pops later.

  “Here’s one for you too.” He handed Pops a paper towel with a delicious looking tomato sandwich on it.

  I rolled my eyes. “I see that his suggestion was self-serving.”

  “Of course. It’s lunchtime, you know. You were too busy to make an old guy a sandwich.” Pops took a big bite and then wiped his mouth with a napkin. “It’s good. If it makes you feel any better, it doesn’t taste as good as yours.” He winked at me.

  I huffed and put my hands on my hips.

  “Do you have something we can carry these in?” James politely asked me while holding four huge sandwiches. I’d been starring angrily at Pops for so long that I’d almost forgotten James and our own picnic.

  “Who are all those sandwiches for?” I looked around the kitchen to see if someone else was joining us. It would be just like Emma to show up and invite herself along. But I didn’t see her.

  “No, it’s just us. I’m hungry.” James’ green eyes deepened. Suddenly he seemed shy and embarrassed. Seeing him humbled, warmed my heart. He shrugged. “I have a big appetite.” I smiled in spite of myself. He certainly didn’t look like his appetite was too big; there wasn’t an ounce of fat on him. His muscles were perfectly toned. I knew first-hand that he had a perfect washboard stomach hiding out under his T-shirt. It was my turn to blush.

  I needed a distraction. I began to look for my backpack to carry the sandwiches. I didn’t want James to see the affect he had on me. I was like an elementary school girl having my first crush.

  “Here, we can use this to carry everything,” I said, locating my backpack hanging on a peg by the door,

  “Perfect.” James added the sandwiches, water bottles, and apples, to the backpack while I held it open. Our hands lightly brushed and I almost dropped everything when an electrical shock traveled up my arm and throughout my body. I looked up and James was wearing a surprised but pleased look that matched my own.

  He was the first to speak. “I think we’re all set.”

  I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. “Okay.”

  “Have fun you two,” Pop-pop wished us as we left through the back door.

  As soon as we were outside and beyond hearing range, I gave James a piece of my mind. Mostly I was angry because I felt things I couldn’t explain, but I wasn’t about to admit it. “How dare you just show up here without calling?” My face flushed as I recalled how stupid I must have looked, standing there in my PJ’s. “And worse, how dare you use my own grandfather against me?”

  He laughed, showing off deep dimples. “Your grandfather’s quite a character. He’s an ally I hadn’t counted on.”

  “Hmph.” I walked a couple of steps ahead although I had no idea which direction we were headed in.

  “I was surprised how eager he seemed to get rid of you today,” he teased, catching up to me.

  “I know, right? As if I don’t help him every day with his precious tomato plants,” I mumbled, hurt. Pops and I’d been spending a lot of time together and I thought we enjoyed each other’s company.

  “I was only joking.” Turning serious, he explained, “I only meant that he seemed happy to see you getting out of the house. I think he worries about you. He wants you to be happy here.”

  James was right. Pops was only looking out for me. “He must’ve been a match-maker in a previous life,” I said, lightening the mood.

  James grinned. “I bet he was a good one.”

  “We’ll see.” I shrugged. I didn’t want him to think he was completely forgiven for showing up unannounced. “This date didn’t exactly start off on the right foot.” Did I really just say that? I do need to get out of the house more. Pop-pop’s clichés are rubbing off on me.

  “I honestly didn’t think you’d mind me stopping by. I thought you thrived on spontaneity.” James winked.

  “Yeah, but not when I’m still in my pajamas.” I laughed, realizing how ridiculous I must have looked, standing in the front hallway wearing my Hello Kitty tank top and pink boxer-like pajama shorts.

  James laughed too until I slapped him playfully on the arm, signaling him to knock it off.

  We crossed the main road and entered the cornfield. The corn was tall, even taller than James. I hoped he knew where he was going because it all looked the same to me. We walked for several minutes and the only sound was rustling stalks. I was about to ask him if we were lost, when we finally came to the edge of the field.

  “Here’s the trail I told you about.” He pointed to a dirt path about two and half feet wide that cut through the woods. “It’s about a mile walk to the creek, which then empties into a deep pond. That would be a great place to stop and eat our lunch.”

  “Lead the way.” I followed along behind; the trail wasn’t wide enough for the two of us. He held branches out of the way, acting as a kind-hearted guide. I paid little attention to the luscious green surroundings—I was too busy enjoying the view of James’ broad backside. We walked in comfortable silence. I listened to the sounds of animals scurrying and birds tweeting.

  “Have you taken this trail before?” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

  “Yes.” />
  “Have you taken this trail with other girls?” I hadn’t meant to ask that out loud, but I had a habit of saying whatever was on my mind. I didn’t want to come across as a jealous girlfriend, because I wasn’t, but this place felt intimate and special and secretly I wanted to be the only one he’d shown it to.

  He laughed. It was a hearty laugh, but it sounded rough and raspy, like he didn’t laugh often enough. When he calmed, he turned around to face me. His dimples showed prominently, momentarily stopping my heart. “No. Why?”

  “Just wondered.” I couldn’t hide my smile at hearing the answer I wanted.

  “I’ve always come here alone. It’s a great place to clear my mind and think. I never wanted to show this place to anyone, until now.”

  “Really?” I questioned.

  “Really.”

  “Why me?”

  “I like you. You seem different than the girls around here.” It wasn’t a long explanation, but it was all I needed. Soon the trail widened and he reached for my hand, and I welcomed the feel of his strong hand in mine. A rush of heat flowed through me,

  Wanting to get to know him better, I asked, “Have you lived here your whole life?”

  “Yes.” His one-word answers were beginning to frustrate me. How was I supposed to get to know him if he didn’t ever elaborate?

  “Do you like living here in such a small town?”

  “It has its advantages and disadvantages.”

  “Like what?”

  He didn’t answer my question, instead turning it around. “Did you like growing up in a big city?”

  “It had its advantages and disadvantages.” Two could play at this game.

  “Touché.” He laughed. My heart warmed at having made him laugh again.

  I heard the creek bubbling before I could see it. I loved the relaxing sound of water rushing over rocks. It turned out to be a small creek with scraggly trees lining the banks. It appeared to be ankle deep with crystal clear water. I could see rocks and small stones lining the bottom.

  “Do you want to walk in it for a while?” He asked, and I grinned, instantly liking the idea. “I have to warn you that it’s cold, but not too cold.”

  “I’m not afraid of a little cold water.”

  “Excellent.” He nodded. “It gets deeper and picks up speed a little further down just before it empties into the pond. We can rest there and eat our lunch on the big boulders.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” I was hot and the idea of wading in the cool water appealed to me. I let go of his hand and bent down to untie my sneakers.

  “Leave ‘em on. The rocks on the bottom are sharp. You don’t want to cut your foot. Also, it’ll be easier to walk on the slippery rocks.”

  “Oh, okay.” I felt like a silly city girl.

  James rolled up his jeans and stepped down into the creek. He held his hand out to help me down the slight bank. We continued to hold hands as we waded through the cold water. It was a good thing, too, because several times I gripped his hand tighter to avoid falling. Normally I wasn’t so clumsy; I think it had to do with being near James. He was confident and sure of every step he took. Except for the babble of the creek and the splashing of our footsteps, it was quiet and peaceful. I didn’t ask James any more questions. Talking right now would have been intrusive.

  Once the creek picked up speed, we climbed out and walked on the trail. A surprisingly large waterfall cascaded over big boulders and emptied into a pond. We stopped, and I marveled that such a beautiful oasis existed here in Nowhere. The pond was just as clear as the creek had been. It looked to be eight or nine feet deep. The woods were on one bank, while large boulders sat on the other.

  “James, this is amazing.” I couldn’t find the right words to express how beautiful this place was, or how happy I was that he’d brought me here. I smiled sincerely. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” He reached out and tucked a curl behind my ear.

  We stared into each other’s eyes and time seemed to stand still. I thought he was going to kiss me, when his stomach growled loudly. We laughed at the same time.

  “Let’s eat lunch,” I announced in response to his rumbling stomach.

  We sat on a large boulder in the sun. Opening my backpack, I handed him a sandwich. I ate one to James’ three. We chatted while we ate and for the first time all day James gave more than one word answers. The pond provided the perfect setting. I felt relaxed and free to be myself.

  He patted his stomach. “That was great.” I laughed at his enthusiasm.

  “Is it safe to swim in the pond?” I asked, eyeing it longingly. It looked so inviting.

  “You would swim in it?” He sounded skeptical.

  “Of course.” I lifted my ponytail off the back of my neck. The humidity made my hair curlier and messier yet. “It would be so refreshing. I’m used to a dry heat.”

  “Awesome.” His dimples showed again.

  “Is it safe?”

  “Yes.”

  That was all I needed to hear. I quickly stood up and stripped down to my bra and underwear, while James appeared rooted to the spot. I heard him suck in his breath. Tossing my clothes on the rock, I jumped into the bone-chilling water. There was no other way to get into water this cold. I stayed under, holding my breath for as long as I could. I resurfaced, laughing.

  I wiped the water from my eyes and saw James scowl.

  “What the hell, Mikayla?” he shouted upset. “You scared the shit out of me.”

  “I’m sorry,” I quickly apologized. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I was only trying to have a little fun.” I trembled, thinking how close I’d come to ruining our perfect afternoon.

  Sternly, he said, “You have to promise not to do anything like that again.”

  “I promise.” I made a show of crossing my heart.

  He nodded, accepting my apology.

  “You should join me,” I said, grinning wickedly. I splashed at the water, soaking him.

  He didn’t waste time. He quickly pulled off his shirt and unzipped his jeans. He was wearing black boxer briefs that fit him just right. He was so beautiful that he could have been the next Calvin Klein underwear model. He took several big steps backwards, then ran and jumped into the pond, holding his legs with his arms, cannon-ball style. A huge splash erupted, hitting me full in the face.

  “Did I splash you?” he asked innocently, as I wiped water out of my eyes.

  “Yes.” I splashed him back. We both laughed.

  We goofed around, splashing and showing off. We made a contest out of jumping off the ledge and rating the biggest splashes. Of course, James won every time. Then we raced each other from one edge to the other, which was something I was good at because at one time I had been on a summer league swim team. I hadn’t laughed so much in months. I didn’t want this moment to ever end. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed until teeth began to chatter, signaling we’d been at it awhile.

  “Your lips are purple,” James declared, swimming over to my side and lightly touching my lips with his fingertip. My breath caught in my throat.

  “I don’t want to get out,” I admitted, visibly shaking.

  “Come on, we’ll warm up in the sun.” He strode over to the large boulder in the sun and lay down on his back, his hands folded underneath his head. Feeling shy all of a sudden, I lay down next to him without touching. I didn’t know if I was ready to get that close to him yet. It had been a perfect afternoon and I didn’t want to ruin it by feeling too much, and I knew being that close to James would make me feel things I’d never even come close to feeling before. However even with the warm sun soaking into my skin, I shook. My skin was covered in goose bumps.

  “Here,” without hesitating, he pulled me against him and tucked me underneath his arm, “I’ll warm you up.”

  Being close to him, I warmed instantly, and my worries vanished. It felt right being in his arms. I relaxed and rested my head on his perfectly chiseled chest.

  The swim, the
sun, and the strong arm wrapped around me, equaled perfect harmony. In fact I was so comfortable that I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. I drifted off to sleep.

  “I had fun today,” someone whispered in my ear.

  I recognized the husky voice, even in my dreams—James’ voice. It was such a wonderful dream that I didn’t want to wake up. I groggily shifted to brush my hair out of my face. I gasped when I touched hard muscle that was too real to be part of a dream. I quickly sat up and wrapped my arms around my knees, feeling self-conscious. I was still wearing only my bra and underwear. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”

  “Don’t worry about it. It was nice holding you.” He sat up. His green eyes practically sparkled in the sunlight. He pulled a curl and absentmindedly twirled it around his finger

  I couldn’t move. I focused on breathing—in and out. It was difficult to form a single thought while sitting so close to him. My mind was telling me to get dressed and yet my heart was telling me to stay where I was. Quietly I said, “I had a great time today. I felt so safe, so right, in your arms.” He continued to twirl my hair. I rarely shared things about myself, but today I wanted to. I added, “I haven’t been sleeping well since my dad died unexpectedly, over six months ago. I’m lucky if I can fall asleep at all, and when I do I never sleep for more than an hour or two at a time.”

  James took my hand in his. “I’m happy that you feel so comfortable with me. I feel the same way about you, like a part of me has always known you, even though we just met.” He brought my hand to his lips and lightly kissed it. “I’m sorry about your dad. Were you close to him?”

  “Yes. He understood me when no one else did.” I gazed into his kind eyes. They were a clear, bright green color. I took a deep breath and continued. “We had a big fight the morning of the day he died. I’d come down the stairs wearing a really short skirt and a tight blue T-shirt. I knew it wasn’t something I should wear to school, but I didn’t care. It was the first thing I saw so I pulled it on. I was running late, like always. My dad threw a fit and refused to let me leave the house. I argued with him, saying some pretty awful things. I was pissed at him for making me change. I stormed out of the house, refusing to acknowledge him when he called out to me. I was in the worst mood all morning at school. I felt horrible about my temper tantrum and the mean things I’d shouted at my dad. I was going to apologize later that evening. Only I never got the chance. Just after lunch I was called down to the office. I took my time, thinking for sure it was in reference to my short skirt. The principal instructed me to sit down, and I could tell by the somber look on his face that it had nothing to do with what I was wearing. He carefully explained how my dad had suffered a heart attack and was in the hospital. A taxi came to pick me up and I rode in stunned silence to meet my mom and Emma, who were already at the hospital. Emma had stayed home from school with a headache. The traffic on the freeway was especially bad that afternoon and by the time I arrived, it was too late. He’d died. There was nothing they could do. I’ve always thought that if only I hadn’t argued with him, maybe his blood pressure wouldn’t have skyrocketed, and he wouldn’t have died.”