nowhere

by Marysue Hobika

  “Where is everybody?” I asked, looking around the deserted kitchen. More often than not it was just Pops and me. I’d begun to prefer it that way. However, I thought my mom might stick around today to see how I was feeling. I couldn’t keep my disappointment from showing.

  “Your mom had an early morning meeting. She wanted to be here when you got up, but she didn’t think you’d be awake this early. I insisted that if you did wake up, I’d take good care of you. So what do you think? How am I doing?”

  I smiled. “You’re doing great. Best toast I’ve ever had.” I pushed my almost empty plate away.

  “Glad you liked it.”

  “Is Emma around?” I wanted to know what happened Saturday night after James and I left. What had Tyler meant when he said that hitting girls was a common practice in James’ neighborhood?

  Pops shook his head. “No, that girl comes and goes. She must think there’s a revolving door on this old farmhouse. Why, I’ve barely seen her since the three of you arrived. She’s always running off with her new friends. When she is here, she’s either jumping around practicing cheers trying to make this old house fall down, or yapping on that phone of hers.”

  I laughed, forgetting how much my stomach hurt. “Ouch.” I wrapped my arm around my middle even tighter.

  “What’s wrong?” asked Pops, clearly alarmed by my reaction.

  “Nothing.” I tried to act natural, but it was proving to be more and more difficult.

  “Are you okay? Maybe this is more than the flu.” His forehead creased in concern.

  “I’ll be fine. Laughing hurt, that’s all.” Pops still looked worried. I’d have to be more convincing. “Do you have more chores for me to do?” I teased.

  “Maybe,” he answered gruffly. “But for now, why don’t you go sit on the front porch and get some fresh air. You’ll be able to see what else needs to be done around here. The last idea you had, about painting a new sign for the vegetable stand, was a good one. I’ve been meaning to tell you that it’s gotten a lot of compliments. Everyone’s said how it really grabs their attention when they drive by. Thank you.” He smiled proudly.

  “You’re welcome.”

  I made it out onto the porch on my own, refusing help. I wanted to put his fears to rest. I smiled and waved at him as I sat down gingerly on the swing. He stood at the door, watching me, for a full minute. My smile never wavered.

  “See Pops, I’m fine.”

  “Humph,” he muttered, walking away. He returned a minute later with my phone.

  “Here. Your phone rang a thousand times yesterday, if it rang once. Take care of it, would you?” he grouched, attempting to appear tough. If he’d actually been upset, he would’ve simply shoved it in a drawer until the battery died. The truth was he was turning into an old softie and he didn’t want anyone to know.

  “Thanks. I promise to take better care of it,” I said, playing along.

  “I’ll be in the house if you need anything.”

  “Okay.” I nodded.

  I checked my phone to see what calls I missed. The first thing I noticed was that James hadn’t called even once to see how I was feeling. Paige, however, had called ten times, leaving three messages, each one sounding more urgent than the last.

  It was only 7 a.m. in San Francisco, but I called Paige anyway. “Hi, Paige. What’s up? Is everything okay?”

  “Where the hell have you been? I tried to reach you all day yesterday.”

  “Sorry, I was sick,” I answered weakly. I wasn’t feeling very good at the moment. My stomach was cramping. Maybe the toast wasn’t such a good idea after all.

  “Oh, sorry,” she said sheepishly. “Are you feeling better today?”

  “No, not really.” My free arm was still wrapped tightly around my middle.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “I think I have the flu,” I moaned. I wanted to tell her what happened at Blondie’s, but I was too sick to get the words out. My stomach felt like it was being stabbed with a sharp knife.

  “Shit. Mike, that’s bad. And now I feel even worse, because I have bad news of my own. That’s why I’ve been trying to call you...I....I...”

  “Whatever it is, hurry up and spit it out, before I puke.” I wiped the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand.

  “Promise you won’t hate me?”

  I didn’t have time for this. “Of course I won’t hate you. But stop stalling and just tell me. Pops won’t like it if his front porch is covered in my breakfast.”

  “Okay, okay.” She took a deep breath and continued all at once. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t come to see you like we planned. I know it’s short notice. But after we spoke, I crashed the front end of my parents’ car. I was backing out of the driveway, looking behind me to make sure I wasn’t going to run anyone over, when I turned my wheel too sharply. I clipped the mailbox with the front of the car. My parents are making me use the money from my plane ticket to pay for the repairs. You wouldn’t believe the damage—the whole front bumper’s torn off.”

  I laughed, remembering too late how much it hurt.

  “It’s not funny,” she yelled.

  “Yes, it is. Only you could destroy the front of the car while backing up.”

  “I miss you,” she admitted.

  “I miss you too.”

  “I’m so depressed that I won’t be there for your eighteenth birthday. That’s the day I was supposed to arrive. I’m really sorry I screwed up.”

  “It’s okay. You’ll have to save up your money and come to visit me another time. Maybe you can come for a few days over Christmas break and experience real snow.”

  “Yeah, that sounds like fun. You promise you’re not mad?”

  “I promise. But I do have to go.”

  Two seconds after I hung up, I was leaning over the railing, puking up the toast along with a lot of disgusting green bile.

  Feeling a little better, I sat back down on the swing. With the pain in my stomach temporarily gone, the wheels in my brain started to turn. Why hadn’t James called me? Was he upset with me because Tyler made a stupid comment that I hadn’t even understood? Was he planning on breaking up with me? I thought about how he wasn’t himself after we returned from Blondie’s that night. He was distant and broody. My temperature rose, as I grew angrier by the minute. Suddenly I stood up. I couldn’t just sit here. I had to do something before I lost James for good.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Dooner

  I was in the locker room changing after practice when suddenly there was a lot of commotion. From around the corner someone shouted angrily, “Hey, can’t you read, this is the guys’ locker room.”

  “No wait, she’s here to see me,” another voice answered. “This hot little number’s going to suck my cock, huh sweetie?” That caused all the guys to shout and whistle. What the hell’s going on? I quickly pulled my shorts on.

  “Not a chance in Hell, you’ve got nothing there,” a female voice said, laughing. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. What’s she doing here? The room instantly filled with loud cheers. This isn’t going to end well.

  “Hold on, bitch. It’ll only take a second. I just got out of the cold shower. I wasn’t expecting you...so soon,” he said. My heart pounded as I rushed over. What was Mikayla thinking, walking into a locker room filled with half-naked testosterone-ridden football players? I had to get her out of here before there was trouble.

  I stopped when I saw her standing there with her hands on her hips and her crazy hair fanning out all around her. Damn, she’s beautiful.

  Tyler arrived at the same moment I did, looking like he shared some of my anxiety at her being here. “What the hell, Mike,” he said, wrapping his towel tightly around his waist. “You can’t just come barging in here.”

  “Really? Because it looks like I just did,” she said, fire behind her eyes. What is this all about?

  “Well, you have to get out. Now!” He tried to maneuver her back toward the door. I felt
my anger build. He’d better not even think about shoving her again. I’d lose it this time if he so much as laid a finger on her. I took a step toward them.

  Without warning, Tyler’s towel loosened and fell to the ground before he could catch it. “Damn it, Mikayla,” he shouted over the loud laughter that erupted all around. His face was beet red. “Out.” He bent over to pick up his towel and wrapped it around his waist again.

  “Please, like I haven’t seen it before.” She shrugged, making Tyler furious. “I’m not leaving here until I’ve said what I’ve come here to say.” She stood her ground.

  Tyler sighed. “This is not the place.” For once I agreed with him.

  The locker room had grown silent. All the guys were standing around, watching and waiting to see what would happen next.

  “Just shut up, Tyler, and listen,” she shouted, taking a step closer to him. “Don’t you ever put your hands on me again.” She took another step closer. Her eyes were dark; you could barely make out her pupils. “And don’t interfere in my relationship with James.” She paused before adding, “You got that?”

  “Yeah, loud and clear,” he muttered, sounding like a scolded child. If the scene hadn’t been so personal, I might have enjoyed witnessing Tyler humbled. “Finished?”

  “Almost. I also came to talk to you,” she said, acknowledging me for the first time. The team also shifted their focus. I braced myself for what she had to say.

  Her eyes were still dark, but I detected a hint of sadness in them. “What kind of boyfriend are you?” she questioned. She continued without letting me answer. “You let this giant oaf scare you away?” She nodded at Tyler, and several guys snickered. “And worse, I told you I was sick and you didn’t even call me once to see how I was feeling. Some boyfriend you turned out to be. Ugh,” she groaned, dropping her hands from her hips and wrapping her arms around her middle. Without another word, she spun on her heel and left. I stood there in shock.

  As soon as the show was over, the noise in the locker room increased, everyone buzzing about what just happened. Finally, I snapped out of it.

  I took off after her wearing only my shorts. “Mikayla,” I yelled, looking all around. Where could she have gone? Why did she disappear like that? She didn’t even let me explain.

  She wasn’t in the hall. Can she have darted into the girls’ locker room? I had my hand on the door when it opened.

  “Dooner. What a surprise,” feigned Liz. “Was that a love quarrel I just witnessed?”

  “Is she in there?” I asked.

  “Yeah, she’s in there. And so is the rest of the cheerleading squad. There’s no chance in Hell that you’re getting by me.” She stuck out her chest as she moved to stand directly in front of the door, blocking it. “What did you do now to upset that poor girl?” When I didn’t respond, Liz continued, “Well, whatever it was, it made her run straight for the toilet. Right now she’s puking her guts out.” She laughed.

  I didn’t find any of this funny. I’d noticed that Mikayla was a little flushed. I just thought it was because she was so worked up. Maybe she wasn’t feeling well again.

  “Let me by, Liz,” I said through clenched teeth.

  “No.” She smiled devilishly. “And if you try I’ll be sure to tell Mike about our little rendezvous last night by the bleachers.”

  “Go ahead. There’s nothing to tell.”

  “Are you sure about that? I was crying when the girls found me in the gym. You kissed me and when I didn’t kiss you back you had a hard time taking no for an answer. They saw you grabbing my wrist and twisting it. Why, I think Emma said she saw the scratch on your arm that I gave you when I tried to get away.” Instinctively I looked down at my arm, making me appear guilty. The mark stood out brightly against my skin. However, it didn’t happen the way Liz was implying. She knew it too. She was after something.

  “What do you want, Liz?” I asked, growing impatient with her games.

  “You know what I want,” she said, running her red painted fingernails down my bare chest. I shivered in horror. “I know you want me too. You’re wasting your time with that bitch in there.” She pointed behind her. “She’s not like you and me.”

  “Get it through your head. I’m not interested in you. And I never will be.”

  “We’ll see,” Liz said, sounding sickeningly sweet.

  I was about to respond when Tyler came sauntering down the hall.

  “Hey, baby.” He made a bee-line over to Liz, sticking his tongue halfway down her throat. It looked more like a perverted dental exam, than a kiss. I shook my head in disgust.

  Tyler finally came up for air. “What’s going on?” he asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

  Liz answered, “I’m guarding the door. You’ll never believe this, but your crazy cousin, Mike, went running into the girls’ locker room. Dooner thinks he can just break the door down and go in after her.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Really?”

  “That’s all you’re going to say?” asked Liz in utter surprise.

  “Yeah.” He shrugged.

  “You have to stop him,” Liz pleaded.

  “No, I don’t.”

  Tyler looked at me and continued. “I’ve changed my mind. You and Mike deserve each other. I was just trying to look out for her, but apparently she can handle things herself.”

  “Gee, thanks, man,” I said sarcastically.

  “Come on, let’s get out of here. I have some steam I need to blow off.” He grabbed her ass as they walked toward the gym. I had few doubts about where they were headed. She looked over her shoulder at me one last time before they were out of sight.

  With Liz finally out of the way, I could go in and see what was wrong with Mikayla. I opened the door, just as Emma was bringing her out. She could barely stand up.

  I gasped. There was definitely something wrong with her. She was as white as a ghost. I’d never seen her look so pale and weak.

  “What happened?”

  “She has the flu, you jackass.” Emma gave me a dirty look.

  “Here, let me help.” I picked Mikayla up easily, cradling her in my arms. She was light as a feather. Holding her, I also realized that she had a high fever. Her skin felt hot against my bare chest. My skin always heated up when she touched me, but not like this. This was different. “I don’t think this is the flu, I think it’s something more than that. She’s been throwing up for two days now. And she’s burning up.”

  “Put me down,” she murmured weakly without even putting up a fight. I gently brushed her hair back. She couldn’t even hold up her head; it rested against my shoulder. If anything happens to her…

  “What should we do?” Emma asked worriedly.

  “I don’t know. We could call someone for help.”

  “Hey, maybe my mom’s still here,” Emma said hopefully. “She came in early for a meeting. I can go to her room and see.”

  “Okay, but hurry.”

  It felt like Emma was gone forever. I paced back and forth; Mikayla barely moved in my arms. Finally she returned with their mom. I felt relief at seeing her. She’d know what to do.

  “What’s she doing here?” her mom asked, frowning. “She’s supposed to be home in bed.”

  “All I know is that she came bursting into the girls’ locker room looking really sick. She ran straight for the toilets and started throwing up. It sounded awful.” Emma cringed.

  A moan escaped Mikayla’s dry lips. She didn’t even have the energy to speak.

  “I’m so glad you’re here, Mrs. Mooney. I’m really worried about her. She’s burning up with fever.”

  Mrs. Mooney gently placed her palm on Mikayla’s forehead, letting out a deep sigh. She was visibly distraught. “You’re absolutely right, she is hot. She’s been sick since Saturday night.” She counted on her fingers. “I think I better take her directly to the doctor.” Mrs. Mooney quickly took charge. “Emma, run to the nurse’s office and get an ice pack to cool her down. James, if you could carry Mike out t
o my car, I’d appreciate it. I have to run back to my classroom and grab my purse. We’ll meet at my car. You know which car is mine, right?”

  “Yes, the blue Audi S4 convertible.”

  “Right. See you in a minute.” She turned and headed back down the hall. She wasn’t running, but she sure was walking fast.

  I had to walk a little slower. I didn’t want to jostle Mikayla too much. She’d begun to whimper softly in my arms. I pushed open the door to the outside with my shoulder and stepped out into the humidity. Sweat beaded on her forehead. Mikayla looked small and frail in my arms; I felt so helpless. I located Mrs. Mooney’s car just as Emma jogged up with the ice pack. The convertible top was down, so I carefully laid her in the backseat. She curled up into a ball, moaning again. Emma placed the ice pack on her forehead and she sighed.

  Mrs. Mooney caught up with us. “I see how she got here.” She pointed at Mikayla’s grandfather; he sat in his truck, a few feet away. He noticed us too, and came running over as quickly as he could.

  “What happened to her?” he asked, surprised.

  “I don’t know, Dad. Why don’t you tell me?” She snapped, accusing him.

  “Well, she was all fired up to talk to Tyler.” He didn’t even mention my name, but he gave me a look that said he knew I was part of this too. “She said she had unfinished business that couldn’t wait.” Mrs. Mooney glared. “She convinced me to bring her here,” he confessed, sheepishly. He took a handkerchief out of his back pocket and wiped his brow. “I knew I never should’ve let her talk me into it.” It was obvious that I wasn’t the only one who’d fallen under Mikayla’s spell.

  “We’ll straighten it out later. I don’t have time right now. I need to get her to the doctor.”

  “Is she going to be okay?” he asked, his voice suddenly sounding years older.

  “I hope so.” She nodded at her dad, dismissing him as she opened her car door and slid behind the wheel. “Thanks for your help, James,” she added.

  “No problem. I’ll come by later to see how she’s feeling.”

  Mr. Jenkins and I stood and watched until we couldn’t see the bright blue car anymore. Finally I said, “Thanks for not bringing up my name.”