Let It Be Me

by Barbara Speak

  "This wasn't your fault, Ari. None of this was your fault."

  "Why do I feel like it all is then?"

  "I don't know baby but I'm here to make it all better for you. Nothing will come between us. Nothing."

  Canyon left to go to the police station that night when the nurse came in and said visiting hours were over. He promised to be back in the morning first thing before he kissed my forehead and said goodbye. I couldn't help but feel bad. Jeff must have started cleaning the property and now it was on Canyon to deal with it instead of me. My last two days of school would be missed and if they kept me any longer I would miss graduation too. Shelby had to be worried out of her mind without hearing from me and her dad being gone.

  So much worrying had me wishing for sleep so when it came I was grateful.

  The next morning I woke up with Canyon staring at me.

  "Good morning, darlin'."

  "Good morning. What time is it?"

  "Five-thirty."

  "It's still so early."

  "My body doesn't let me sleep in and I didn't have anything to do so I came here instead."

  It broke my heart and he could tell.

  "It's okay, Ari. I'm okay. I hate that they suffered but with you I can get through anything."

  "I just hate all of this. What's next? Someone hurts you or me?"

  "They will find out who set the fire and we’ll make sure they suffer like they all did. No one is going to hurt you again. I'm never letting you out of my sight."

  "That's not realistic."

  "It is to me. It's the only way it will be from now on."

  "So, I'm your captive?"

  "No, you're my love slave."

  I laughed. For the first time in what felt like forever I laughed. Canyon smiled so big all of his teeth were showing and that in itself was priceless to me.

  "I talked to your doctor earlier too. He said you might be able to come home today."

  "Really?"

  "Yeah, he said the tests have all come back positive. You're breathing on your own like nothing ever happened and there is no reason you can't be healing at home."

  "Does that mean I get to take these things out of my nose?"

  He laughed and then said, "Probably but I will miss how sexy you look in them."

  "Yeah right. I saw myself last night when they woke me up for the millionth time to re-test me. I look awful."

  "What you saw is what he did to you and speaking of him, I went by the police station last night and you will never believe who they had there."

  "Who?

  "David."

  "No way!"

  "Yep, they were questioning him. I had no problem telling them that John was David's representation through our legal matter also. They could have both collaborated to pull this off."

  "But I told you, I don't think John did it. He would have rubbed my face in it."

  "It doesn't hurt for them to figure that out themselves. As long as they are holding him I'm happy."

  "What did you do when you saw David?"

  "We don't need to get into that."

  "What did you do?"

  "Let's just say his face probably hurts and will for quite some time."

  "In the station? Are you crazy?"

  "No, I'm pissed!"

  I couldn't argue with that fact. Once the pain settles anger takes its place.

  "I understand. I just don't want anything more to happen."

  He kissed me softly and then looked me in the eye. "He's going to suffer for what he did."

  "I really hope so. Totally off the subject but have you checked on Shelby? She has to be freaking out and the only thing she has is our mother."

  "I'm sure she's in school right now. I can run by there this afternoon and take her out for ice cream or something."

  "Will you please bring her here? I need to see her."

  "Of course I will."

  "Thank you. How are you feeling? You’ve been so focused on me you haven't said a word about your burns."

  "Darlin', any bull rider would laugh if I complained about a few burns. It's nothing."

  "You were burned from a fire, Canyon! No one would laugh if you admitted it hurts."

  "Cowboy up."

  "What?"

  "It's a phrase that means toughen up and get back to getting."

  "You are crazy, Canyon Michaels."

  "Crazy in love with you."

  "That will never get old."

  "I hope not because I plan to say it forever."

  They took the nose plugs away and x-rayed me one more time before I was told I was clear to leave. Canyon was as shocked as I was that I could be discharged before he left to go get Shelby. I, on the other hand, was ecstatic to leave that hospital behind us. Never in a million years would I have thought we would both be there within the same day. I began to understand his hatred for them.

  The ride home was a somber one. I hadn't been there in days and when we pulled up to see the barn cleared, it hurt. It was as if it finally sank in that everything was gone.

  "Come on, you need to get out and let me get you inside. You’re not one hundred percent yet by any means and you need to take it easy like the doctor said."

  I opened the door and climbed out, closing it behind me. Walking toward the back of the house, I felt a tear hit my cheek and then another. It was all gone. The corral still stood and the walking ring but that was it.

  All of a sudden, two puppies came around the corner and were running right at us until they reached our feet and were jumping around.

  "Oh my God they made it!"

  I bent down and winced from the pain but nothing was going to keep me away from those babies.

  "Yeah, I found these two yesterday. I guess it paid off after all having them run around where ever they wanted."

  "So it's just them? Their mom and dad didn't..."

  "Oh no, I saw them too. I wouldn't doubt if a few more start popping up here and there. They never really hung out in the barn unless we were in there."

  "Thank God for that."

  I was petting their heads and rubbing their little wiggling bodies as much as they would let me.

  "Come on, Ari, you need to go relax."

  "Knowing they made it is way better than sitting on some stupid couch."

  "Hey! Don't fight me on this. The pups will be here when you’re better. Now move."

  I hated letting them go but he was right. It hurt to lean over and I needed to rest.

  "Fine, grumpy. Let's go."

  After Canyon got me situated on the couch, he left to go get Shelby. Sitting alone in that house made me think about how much has happened there. Remembering the first time I saw it or how I assumed some happy family lived within its walls. So much can't be seen from the outside looking in like we think.

  I wasn't sure if Canyon would even want to stay after the fire. Would it be easy to rebuild the barn or would it be simpler to move on and let all of the bad memories stay within these walls? But then I remembered all of the joy we shared here. It was also a place of happiness and love after all. We made it that way.

  I heard Shelby's voice which broke my thought. The sweet sound sent chills all over my body but when I heard the gasp it broke my heart.

  "What happened? Where are they?"

  I wished I could be out there to help him but instead I sat and listened.

  "Well, princess, there was a really bad fire. God has them now and they are all happier than ever."

  Her sobs were obvious as she gasped for breath between each one. When I heard the first I was up and off the couch trying to get to her as fast as I could. I swung open the screened door and found her in Canyon's arms.

  "Hey, little lady."

  Her head popped up but when she saw me she began to cry even harder. Stupid me forgot I would look like a monster to her.

  "Hey," I walked down the steps, "Don't cry. Canyon has a surprise for you."

  She didn't break from her tears and wouldn't
look at me.

  "Why don't you take her over to Jason's and show her? It would probably be better to do that anyway than having her here with me."

  The look in Canyon's eyes matched mine. It was sad and unfair but she was a child and things of this nature are scary.

  "You know what? No. I won't do that."

  He set Shelby down and held on to her shoulders so she was looking him square in the eye.

  "Your sister loves you very much. She was extremely excited to see you which is why I brought you here. Now I know it's a sad day. I know you loved the animals just as much as we did but your sister has had it worse than all of us. A very bad thing happened to her and I refuse to let this make her feel bad. She may look different but she is still the girl that will always love you like there's no tomorrow and right now it's today. Go give Ari a hug and tell her you love her. She needs that more than you or I need anything."

  Shelby's head turned in my direction before she began to slowly walk to me. The closer she got, the quicker her pace until she was in an all-out run into my arms.

  "I'm sorry, Arianna. I love you so much."

  "Oh, Shelby, I love you too."

  She pulled back and looked up at me.

  "Daddy did that to you didn't he? That's why he's not home."

  I didn't know what to say. She was so young and didn't need to be polluted by things like this.

  "I hate him! I never want to see him again and I hope he never comes home!"

  "I know it hurts but he's...."

  "Don't make me love him anymore, Arianna, please. I don't want to. He's mean and a bully. Mom doesn't even talk to me. I don't want to be there anymore."

  I never realized I was pushing her to accept him. The whole time I was hoping she could have a different childhood then I had. Maybe that just wasn't possible."

  "I will think of something. Don't worry anymore. It will all work out."

  "Who wants to go to Jason's now?"

  "You'll let me go?"

  He smiled his megawatt smile at me and then said, "I think you deserve to see it too."

  Chapter 31

  I was thankful Jason wasn't home. I definitely didn’t want to see anyone with my face still swollen and bruised.

  Shelby's, on the other hand, when she saw Nyah and learned how Canyon saved her, was something I will never forget and it was the best thing to let my thoughts go. Looking over at Canyon and seeing the pride in his eyes when he led Shelby into the corral and over to her was just as beautiful.

  We stayed the better part of an hour before it was getting dark and we needed to get Shelby home.

  "So she's really all mine?" was asked as she closed her door and got buckled in.

  "Of course, I gave her to you, didn’t I? So when I get the barn rebuilt you’re going to have a lot of work to do."

  "Oh I'll do it. She's mine so I will do it all. Even her poop."

  We both laughed as Canyon grabbed my hand and squeezed as we backed out of Jason's driveway and headed out onto the road.

  "You hanging in there, darlin?"

  "Yeah, I just need to take some more medicine soon."

  "Damn it! We should have brought it with us." He looked down at the clock on the dash. "You should have taken it ten minutes ago."

  "I'll be okay, we'll be home soon."

  "Can I just say hearing you call it home is the sexiest words you could use."

  "Really? I'll have to remember that."

  "Well, not really. I still need to teach you those."

  Minutes later we were pulling into the driveway. My body began to shake as all the memories came rushing back to me.

  "Please don't make me stay!" came unexpectedly from the back seat as Shelby began to scream and cry when Canyon parked the truck. I wanted to hold on to her and tell her that she didn't have to. That she could stay with us forever and never have to go back, but reality would never allow that. I wasn't her parent, I wasn't her guardian, all I was was a sister who knew that she never belonged in that house again with an absent mother who would do nothing to stand in the way of a crazy father that at any time could snap on her just like he did me.

  "It's going to be okay, Shelby. He's not here and you know she would never hurt you."

  "She doesn't even talk to me unless she has to."

  I got out and jumped into the back seat, taking her in my arms. "Someday it won't be like this but for now we have to stay strong you and me. Can you do that? Can you please be the big girl I know you are? All you have to do is walk in there, get in the shower, go to bed and go to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and we never know what it will bring."

  She sniffled a few times but then dried it up. "Will you come get me again?"

  "You bet."

  She wrapped her arms around me one last time before she climbed out of the truck and headed straight for the front door.

  "Call me, Shelby, if you need absolutely anything!"

  She turned and smiled before the door closed behind her.

  "Damn that was rough."

  "The hardest part is letting her go but we have to."

  Canyon chose to drop the subject and instead asked, "You want to climb back in front?"

  "No. It hurts to bad to move again if I don't have to. Please just take us home."

  "We'll be there in two seconds, baby."

  When we got back to the house, Canyon led me inside and sat me down on the couch before he went to the kitchen for my pills and a drink. When he came back in the room holding out his hand for me to take the meds from him he said something I wasn't expecting.

  "I'm going to call a lawyer in the morning. There has to be something we can do about getting her permanently moved here."

  "There isn't. John isn't a threat to her. They would laugh us out of court."

  "Then I need to get started on the barn as soon as possible. I'll talk to the insurance company and see when they can cut me a check. The sooner I get Nyah back here the better. He can't keep her from visiting."

  "Speaking of the barn, are you planning to catch any more?"

  "I'm hoping Magnus takes this race. If he does, the payout will be huge and his stud fees alone would allow me to buy more."

  "I love that you don't let anything stand in your way."

  "I have to make a life for us somehow and this is all I know."

  "You could always get back in the PBR..."

  "And leave you? Never."

  "I love you so much, Canyon, and we don’t need to worry about money. If you want to ride I will support you. We can find a way to make it work."

  He sat down next to me and brushed my hair away from my face.

  "I'm right where I belong."

  Several hours later we were heading up to bed, exhausted from the last few days. I knew I had slept a lot at the hospital but with them waking me up constantly for testing I was looking forward to a solid night of being in Canyon's arms again.

  After we brushed our teeth, Canyon climbed in bed and held his arms open for me. As I found my comfort spot I whispered, "You know me too well. This is exactly what I need right now."

  "I was looking out for myself on this one, darlin’, but I'm glad I could please you in the process."

  We both laughed but the longer we lay there the more I tried to block out the memories of last time we were in that bed together. It was the best and worst moment of my life.

  "You thinking about it too?"

  He startled me. I wasn't sure if he'd fallen asleep yet.

  "Thinking about what?"

  "I felt you get stiff, Ari."

  "It's really hard not to."

  "You're telling me. I'm a guy."

  "Canyon! You know what I meant."

  He tickled me lightly enough that I wouldn't jerk out of his arms before he said, "Someday it's gonna get easier."

  "I hope you're right."

  "I know I am. Now try to get some rest."

  He pulled me in a little tighter and kissed my head before I nuzzled into his n
eck.

  "I love you."

  "I love you too."

  I woke up in more pain than I had felt since the day it all happened. Rolling over, I looked at the clock and it was almost four-thirty in the morning. I was five hours overdue. Not wanting to wake up Canyon I slid from under his arm and tip-toed out of the room. My medicine was still in the kitchen forcing me to go downstairs to get it.

  Once I was on the main level I saw the blinking light from my phone illuminating the kitchen on and off.

  Panic set in when I remembered telling Shelby she could call me. What if John came home and Shelby mouthed off? How long ago did the call come in?

  When I got the phone in my hand and activated the screen every emotion changed.

  I didn't find Shelby's number, instead I saw Kale's. I had no idea what he would want unless he was in trouble somehow too. Did his Dad find out he came to visit me?

  So many thoughts ran through my head as I hit the key to voicemail.

  YOU HAVE ONE UNHEARD MESSAGE. TO LISTEN TO YOUR MESSAGE PRESS 1.

  I followed directions and when I heard his voice I was instantly confused. He didn't sound scared or sad. If anything he sounded high as a kite and pure evil as he rambled on about how good we could have been together and how bad I messed up by choosing Canyon. Then everything changed.

  "I'm sorry if my birthday present got there a little late but sometimes things don't go the way you want them to. It sure does burn when that happens doesn't it, Arianna? Oh well, I'll be sure to make it up for your graduation."

  I heard my phone bounce off the floor as my body began to shake uncontrollably. I grabbed onto one of the chairs and sat down trying to convince myself that this was a nightmare that I needed to wake up from. Pinching myself did nothing other than cause me pain.

  I knew Kale wouldn't have come to Montana again to do it himself which only meant he hired someone or he told his dad that I talked. Either way, Canyon, Shelby, everyone I loved was a walking target.