Let It Be Me

by Barbara Speak

  I got up from the chair and crept up the stairs to the doorway where I watched Canyon sleep. I couldn't do this anymore. We would never find peace until every last one of them were behind bars. There was no way I could sit back and wait for what Kale had planned after graduation, or what was to come after that. As much as it was going to kill me to leave, I had no choice anymore. That message took it away from me.

  I turned around and walked down the stairs. When I got back to the kitchen I searched through every drawer until I found what I was looking for. Grabbing a pen and some paper, I sat down at the table mustering up all the strength I had and then I began to write.

  My dearest love,

  I know you will never forgive me for not waking you up to at least say goodbye but I am no fool and I know you wouldn't have let me go. I'm not trying to just protect you this time Canyon. What I need to do will keep you and Shelby alive and that changes everything about me not treating you as a man. This is your lives at stake and I won't chance that, worrying about such things as your pride.

  You are the strongest man I know and I am drawing from that strength to do what needs to be done. I would never have possessed it had I not met you. You will forever be my everything.

  I don't know what's going to happen so it wouldn't be right to ask you to wait for me. I just want you to be happy. Do what makes you smile and know that I will never forget you.

  I love you, Canyon Michaels.

  I got up from my seat scared to death. What if he listened to the lies I had written? The last thing I ever wanted was for him to move on. This wasn't something I had prepared myself for.

  It wasn't fair.

  I grabbed the piece of paper one last time and scribbled, P.S. When this is all over, promise you will still let it be me.

  I realized how selfish that was and went to throw the paper away and start over but instead I grabbed my phone from the floor and ran as fast as I could to my truck, crying the whole way. I deserved to be a little selfish. I was the one having to do the right thing and in that moment nothing felt right about any of it.

  I backed my truck out of the driveway and stopped when I hit the road, taking one long last look at that house and prayed one day I would get to see it again before I put it in drive and left it all behind.

  I waited until I was out of town before I pulled over on the side of the road. I had no idea where I was going. After a few searches through Google I came up with my answer, Helena, Montana. Driving there was the longest ride of my life as I got further and further away from everything that I wanted to drive back to. By the time I parked and reached the main door of the building, my hands were shaking and I couldn't hold back my tears. Everything I had loved about my life was about to disappear once I walked through the door and I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

  "Excuse me, ma’am, are you trying to go in?"

  I didn't expect the interruption and when I turned, I found a tall man with blond hair, dressed in a business suit with his briefcase in hand.

  When he saw my face his entire demeanor changed. "Please let me show you inside."

  I had forgotten how I must look to him.

  "That would be very kind of you."

  He opened the door and held it for me to pass through. Once I was inside I realized that showing up in the middle of the night wasn't the best idea. I didn't pay attention to their hours to see when they opened.

  "Is no one here?"

  All of the lights were off making my question a stupid one.

  "We don't open until eight-fifteen."

  He walked over to a wall on the opposite end of the room and flipped a switch, turning the dark space into a well-lit one.

  "How can I help you?"

  "I'm sorry. I'll just come back later when you guys open."

  I started walking for the door when he grabbed for my arm to stop me.

  "You didn't come here to leave so please, let me see if I can be of any help to you. My name is Agent Bertel by the way."

  I looked at the door one more time before I realized it was now or never.

  "I'm not sure if this is where I need to be but I have some information that I think you guys would like to know about."

  "Well, in that case, why don't you follow me? My desk is right back this way."

  I walked behind him until he pulled the chair out that sat on the opposite side of his desk.

  "Why are you here so early?"

  "It looks like I needed to be."

  "That's not an answer."

  "Would you believe me if I told you I woke up thinking I forgot to send a file and couldn't go back to sleep until I made sure?"

  "That would make more sense."

  He walked around and sat down before he grabbed his laptop out of his briefcase and set it on the desk.

  "Give me two seconds to check that file."

  I had nowhere else to be. Time wasn't an issue.

  "No kidding. Well it looks like I came here just for you then."

  He closed the screen and then focused on me.

  "Why don't you tell me what happened?"

  "I'm scared."

  I was more like petrified but my life was worth losing if it meant I could protect them.

  "I clearly can see you shaking. What is your name? Maybe that's a better place to start."

  "Arianna Dubray."

  "Okay, Miss Dubray, who hurt you?"

  "That is the least of my concerns. What I need to know is that you can protect me once I tell you."

  "I will do everything I can to make that happen."

  I grabbed ahold of my knees trying to get them to stop shaking but there was no use.

  "Can I get you something to drink maybe? Something to calm your nerves?"

  "I think I better just start now while I have the nerve."

  "I'm ready when you are."

  "Michael Thompson is...."

  I couldn't do it. I was committing suicide. I closed my eyes and then found myself standing up to leave.

  "As in Governor Michael Thompson?"

  My eyes opened and before a thought went through my mind my mouth started moving.

  "Yes. Governor Thompson. He's evil. He will kill me if he knows I'm here. He will kill my little sister just to hurt me. I need you to protect her at all costs."

  "Listen, Arianna, you didn’t find this FBI office by accident. Now you need to have a seat and start at the beginning."

  His tone was solid. He wasn't going to let me leave and I knew it after I spoke Michael’s name. I sat back down and took a deep breath in before I let it all go.

  "Michael Thompson has a son named Kale who was my boyfriend for almost four years. Kale hated his father and always talked to me when he was upset. I know way more than I should about that man. He has been working with the police force in Baltimore since before I ever knew him and has multiple cops stealing drugs from the evidence room, reselling them on the streets. Kale eventually started using this to his advantage. He knew his father would never turn him in so he supplied all of the drugs to our school parties..."

  "I don't mean to interrupt you but do you have any facts to back these claims up?"

  He didn't believe me and I couldn't blame him. All of this seems ludacris if you weren't there living it. That's when I reached down into my purse and pulled out my phone.

  "I have it all in here."

  I opened my text and scrolled to the furthest location it would allow in my and Kale's history.

  "These are from when they would fight over how much Kale would take and how much money Michael would lose because of it."

  His face was stoic as he read through the few I had shown him so far.

  "If you go further you will see pictures of the piles of cocaine Kale would get. I'm sure you can imagine how that always turned out between the two of them."

  "Is this everything?"

  "Not even close."

  I let my finger swipe until we came to that night when he asked me to pick it up for him.


  "This is the address of one of the cops he used as his supplier, only that night it was heroine."

  "And you know this because you were the one who got it this time?"

  "Yes."

  "Would you mind if I recorded this conversation?"

  "Between us?"

  "Yes."

  "Who will hear it?"

  "It will be evidence."

  "Will Michael know? He has people in every facet of the law on his side. He can't know this was me. He will kill me."

  "I promised I will protect you and I will. As I said before, you came to the FBI for a reason. We are the best at what we do. Now, is this all the evidence you have?"

  "No. There's more."

  "Then let me turn this on."

  He hit a few keys on his computer and then turned it to show me he was using his web cam before he moved it back to face him.

  "Okay, keep going."

  "That night I didn't know it was heroine when I brought it. I was so upset when I got to the Governor’s house after that cop put a gun to my head and threatened to kill me that I kind of ignored Kale for the better part of an hour or so before I noticed he was missing. When I found him in Michael’s room he had another student from our school, Dorian Baker, in there with him. She was overdosing on the bed with the needle still in her arm. Kale was high and freaking out. He told me to call his father Michael for help. I did, but Michael instructed me to not call 9-1-1 and to lock the door instead, saying he would handle it. Ten minutes later, Michael came with four other men and took Dorian away. Then they told me I would go to prison for murder because I brought the drugs that killed her. Michael called my stepfather John and had him come to the house. When he got there they started talking about John owing money to one of the largest organized families in Baltimore. Michael offered to pay off John's debt and to wire money into an account for him to relocate our family and disappear or he would hand John over to the family and turn me in. We moved the next day."

  "Okay, I'm going to stop you there. What happened to Dorian Baker?"

  "I don't know. Like I said, we moved the next morning."

  "So you think Michael Thompson wired money to an organized family, which one?"

  "The Masser's."

  His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.

  "Please continue, or is that the end?"

  "No, there's more. John took the money and we moved here to Montana where no one was supposed to be able to find us. It worked for a while but a few weeks ago Kale showed up trying to get me to leave with him. I knew we weren't supposed to have any contact but he told me how he found me. Kale broke into Michael’s computer where he has files with all of the money transfers in it. The password is Kale’s first pet’s name, Misty.”

  "You kept all of this information between you and your phone? I'm impressed. Keep going please. "

  “My stepfather, John, is currently in jail for doing this to me." I pointed to my face. "I have a recording of a conversation between him and I where he confirms everything I said and even threatens Canyon."

  I grabbed my phone again, went into the microphone app I used that day and pressed play. You could hear him screaming about if he hadn't taken the deal from Michael I would have been dead.

  "Wow. You really have your shit together, little girl. Pardon my language."

  "I never knew if they would kill me or not and I wanted you to catch them."

  "That was very smart thinking." He put his hands down flat on his desk. "Well if that's all the information we need to move forward and..."

  He could tell I was about to throw up. This was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

  "Are you okay? Do you need to take a break?"

  "No..."

  One deep breath in and then out.

  "There was a fire. My boyfriend Canyon had a quarter horse business and... I'm sorry this is still so hard... As you can imagine when there's a fire, the whole barn was turned to ash and everything within it. I almost lost Canyon inside as well. We didn’t know who did it until a few hours ago when I got a message from Kale."

  I took my phone from the desk one last time and played the message on speaker. After it played through I set it back down.

  "I don't think Kale could have done this alone. He sounds high and probably has been for a while now. Anyway, I need you to keep them safe. He said more is coming and I believe him. Please help me. I know I have to go to jail for what I did and I am willing, just don't let them hurt my sister or Canyon. I will do whatever you need me to."

  I wiped the tears falling from my eyes but tried to stay as strong as I could. This was the right thing to do and I should have done it a long time ago. I might have been able to keep a lot of this from happening to begin with.

  He typed a few things into his computer and then closed the screen before he looked at me again.

  "You're not going to jail. You didn't do anything but make a colossal sized bad choice by mixing yourself up with these people to begin with."

  A sound came out of me that I had never heard as I cried. I was so exhausted and relieved. I had no idea what I expected him to say but that wasn't it. I never thought there was an option other than jail for me.

  He stood up and walked around the desk placing his hand under my arm, lifting me up until I was wrapped in his arms.

  "You're going to be okay now."

  "What happens next?"

  He let go of me and rubbed his hands over his face a couple of times before he said, "First things first, you're safe and you're going to stay that way. Second, where is your mother?"

  "She's not a mother but she is with my sister."

  "You need to write down that address so we can go get them before we do anything else."

  "What about Canyon?"

  "The arrests will start taking place I would assume later on today. Our DC office already has all of the information. Once they confirm your story this will be broken wide open. Canyon isn’t a liability here. They want you. That's why once we have collected your family you will all be protected and possibly going into the witness protection program."

  "Witness protection? Like fake identity kind of program?"

  "That's my suggestion but I don't get to make the decisions like that. Write down that address. I'm going to send a car for them now."

  Chapter 32

  Shelby walked through the door of the office several hours later. The second she saw me she screamed, "Arianna!" At the same time I was running straight to her and wrapping her up in my arms. Looking over her shoulder I waited for my mother, but never saw her come in.

  "Shelby, where is mom?"

  "She didn't want to come. They told her she was in danger but she stayed and told me to leave. What's going to happen to her, Arianna? Why did they bring me here? Where's Canyon?"

  I was stunned our mother would just let her go like that. She always was absently there but for her to give Shelby up broke my heart. I don't think Shelby understood the magnitude of the situation.

  I let go of her and stood up grabbing her hand and leading her back to the room I had been placed in once the office opened. When Bertel sent the information in, US Marshalls began showing up within the hour.

  "Arianna, what's happening?"

  Once I got her seated I tried to explain things the best I could.

  "When we lived in Maryland there were a lot of bad people. They wanted to hurt me and that's why we had to move. Unfortunately your dad is kind of with those people. I never wanted you to know any of this but it looks like they found me again. My biggest concern is you. I never want anything to happen to you so I've asked them to bring you with me."

  "What about Canyon?"

  "They don't want to hurt him, honey, and I don't want to bring him into any more danger. I love him too much for that so I have to let him go."

  I didn't know I was crying until Shelby wrapped her arms around me and said, "Don't cry, he will understand because he loves you too and when this is over we
can see him again."

  I never thought Shelby could grow up so fast. The fact that she was comforting me instead the other way around was something that just made me love her that much more. I didn't think it could ever be possible but it happened.

  "I hope you're right. There's a very good chance he read the letter I left for him this morning and hates me."

  "Yeah, that too. Let's hope for the other. I don’t want him to hate me too and I want to see Nyah."

  I smiled at her lack of restraint.

  We ended up staying in that room until twelve o'clock before Bertel came in.

  He sat on the edge of the desk and folded his arms across his chest.

  "Here's how this is going to work. Two US Marshalls are going to be taking you on a flight. I don't know where but that's for your safety. Chances are they will have you stay in a hotel for the first few days. Then your new names and background will be chosen. You don't get to pick anything since what comes to mind first is something you might have shared at one point and not remember it. We need to talk about how your life will change with all of this. Now, Arianna, you asked for protection and we all agree you will need it. Shelby, do you have any questions you would like to ask?"

  "So we won't be us ever again?"

  "Unfortunately there will never be a day when you will go back to what you were. Not unless we can secure your safety."

  "Why do the bad guys want to hurt us?"

  Bertel looked at me before he turned back to my sister.

  "Sometimes people can just be bad. They won't find you, I can promise you that."

  Two hours later we were boarding a plane. Three hours later we touched down in Huntsville, Alabama. The Marshalls wouldn't talk to us much so we relied on each other. I knew we were as safe as we ever could be but it didn't feel right without Canyon by my side.

  Just as Bertel had said, we were placed in a hotel but it was eight days later when the news broke the story that everything changed.

  Shelby and I were sitting on the bed watching TV. I couldn't have cared less what was on and in fact I hadn't really cared for anything. The more days that passed the more I missed his smile, his huge arms wrapping themselves around me. I needed him like I needed air to breathe and it wasn't getting any easier as time went on.