Beautiful Monster

by Forrest, Bella

  “Um, yeah.” Suddenly, I didn’t want to hang up on him. I didn’t want to shut out his voice. “Thank you. For this.”

  “Not a problem,” he replied, and I heard a note of concern. “If you don’t feel like walking back, Amy, please do call me, I can certainly arrange for you to be picked up.”

  “I’m fine. Really.” But even listening to him was slowing the beat of my heart. I heard a noise and looked up, to see someone standing at the door again, looking directly at me. “Got to go.” I hung up the phone abruptly, shoving it into my pocket.

  “Are you Amy?” The woman at the door asked, and I nodded. “Come right this way.”

  “Sure,” I squeaked out, standing up. I followed her down a winding hallway, which seemed endless. She didn’t say a word to me, didn’t turn back to make sure I was right behind her. I closed my eyes as we walked and tried remember the lines to the monologue I had burned into my brain.

  She opened a door, leading me into a small room. Behind a table were three other people; two men and a woman.

  “Sorry for the wait, we needed to see a bit of the dancers first,” The other woman said, reaching out to shake my hand. “I’m Shannon. It’s nice to meet you. I saw your submission a week ago and thought you looked like a perfect Daisy. But I didn’t realize who you were. People.” She addressed her panel. “Amy is the new scholarship winner at Leopard Academy.”

  “Oh.” They gave me a smile and I felt anger flare. Was that how I was going to be referred to the rest of my career - as a by-product of Liam’s success? Perhaps letting him get me this audition was not such a good idea. If Shannon had liked my look, had she been planning to call me anyway? I scanned my memory quickly, trying to remember if I had left my phone off at any point or forgot to check my junk email. “And what do you have prepared for us, Amy?”

  “Uh…” I passed, taking a deep breath. “A monologue, one that we are working on in school.”

  Shannon waved her hand, indicating I should head to the center of the room and start. Starting was the hardest part, and it took several breaths before the words came out of my mouth. But once they did, they flowed. I knew this monologue, I knew Beauty’s emotions and feelings as well as I knew my own. The fact that the people were unfamiliar to me and that the staging was different didn’t bother me. I leapt into it, not holding back anything. Make Strong Choices. Liam’s motto echoed in my head, and when I finished, I found myself on the ground, Beauty’s tears pouring from my eyes.

  There was a silence from the panel, and then they nodded.

  “Thank you, Amy. We’ll be making our choice in the next few days and will be in touch.”

  “Uh…that’s it?” I asked, surprised. “No cold read?”

  “That’s all. You’re still in school, right?” Shannon asked, and I nodded.

  “Yes, but…”

  “So if we’re interested, we’ll talk to Liam. Thank you.” She gave me a look that clearly indicated I was to leave.

  I got up, turning my back quickly.

  “Thank you,” I said, rushing out of the room. My heart was running marathon again, and I wasn’t sure how to feel. I knew auditions were supposed to be like that, but that one felt wrong. I had caught to condescending tone they had used when referring to me as the scholarship winner; that I had only gotten before their panel by Liam’s influence. And they clearly weren’t impressed by that.

  Porsche was another half hour, and the silence of the waiting room almost killed me, the thoughts running through my head like wild fire.

  “How’d it go?” she asked, when she came out. I shrugged.

  “I don’t know. They didn’t let me do anything besides the monologue. And they looked at me like I was a reality show winner.”

  “Ah, Amy it doesn’t mean anything,” she shrugged. “Shannon’s just like that. She knows talent when she sees it.”

  “Whatever. I just want to go home,” I replied, gathering up my stuff.

  “Sure.” She checked her phone, and then picked up her own coat. “Are you alright?”

  “I’m fine.” Once we were outside, the cool breeze hit me like a calming wave. “I just…I don’t know how to feel. Schizophrenic is probably the right answer. One second, I was happy to be there, and the next second, I was angry for not getting it on my own. And then I was…”

  “Life of a performer,” Porsche said, with a shrug. “A different emotion every second and it’s never half-assed either.”

  “I just…I wish I had gotten it on my own,” I said, and she draped an arm around my shoulders.

  “Don’t worry about it. The important part is they saw you today.”

  “Right,” I replied, although I didn’t believe her.

  The sun was just setting when we got back to school, half way down the horizon. Porsche bid me goodbye at the entrance, heading to the dancer’s wing to spend the night. I thanked her and turned in the opposite direction, glad for the chance of silence. It didn’t last long however.

  Liam was stalking down the empty hallway with haste, and I knew exactly where he was going. As much as I wanted to ignore him, I couldn’t. I nodded to him as we passed each other, and he nodded back. Already, his eyes were dark and he was pale, and I knew he didn’t have long. I thought I would escape without a word, leaving him to enter the half hidden door, when suddenly he called out to me.

  “Amy!”

  Rolling my eyes, I back tracked a few paces.

  “Yes?”

  “The door’s locked.” He jiggled the handle a few more times. “Damn Peter, that forgetful sod.”

  I glanced out the window. The sun was almost set, and I could see it in Liam’s face that he didn’t have much time. “Uh…”

  “Please go to reception and ask them for a spare set of keys. Tell them it’s for me, I’ll call ahead.”

  The condescending tone of the scholarship winner was still in my head, and part of me didn’t want to help him. But he met my eyes, gritting his teeth, and I could see the pain of transformation already taking place. I nodded and headed swiftly down the hall. Getting the key was no problem. Students got locked out all the time and needed the master key. I brought it to Liam within minutes, and he took it, gratefully.

  “Did it go well today?” he asked, as he slipped it in the lock.

  “Yeah, except for the part where they sounded like they would have called me in anyway. They treated me like a reality show winner, Liam.”

  He raised an eyebrow as the door opened.

  “But they saw you,” he said. “And they saw your talent.”

  “That’s what Porsche said.” I replied, and he smiled. For a moment, that smile floated me back to a time when things were different.

  “Well, she’s a smart one. It’s just the way Shannon is,” he shrugged. “And talent like yours deserves to be seen, Amy, no matter how you get there.”

  “By lying and pretending to be someone I’m not?” I accused him, and he glared at me, handing me back the key without another word. We held each other’s gaze a moment, and then he slammed the door in my face. Rolling my eyes, I went to hand the key back to reception. I wanted nothing more than a hot shower and sleep.

  But, as I walked back to my dorm room, a part of me glanced back where I had left Liam. Regardless of what they would have done, I had my first professional audition today, a dream come true, and it was because of him.

  Sighing, I locked my door and headed to the shower. Dreams didn’t always come true the way you wanted them to.

  CHAPTER 14: LIAMMy phone rang at 8am, just as I got out of the shower. Porsche was sprawled across my bed, still fast asleep, so I grabbed it and headed back into the bathroom. Since she was here, last night’s transformation did not involve chains and a basement cell the entire night. Instead, we had driven over to the big city, and taken advantage of a night club that would not miss a few pieces of riff raff. I hadn’t had a party night like that in quite awhile, and it felt good to return to the life that had made me. But when th
e lights came on at the club, and the afterhours club closed their doors, we had no choice but to make our way back home; leaving me only enough time to shower and change before I was expected in morning classes. Porsche, however, informed me she had nowhere to be, and climbed into my bed. Oh, to be human again. My head was still pounding from the loud music and the booze; keeping the cravings at bay just long enough to lure someone outside.

  There had been no bodies last night, only semi-drained victims that would find their way to a hospital. But I still felt more energized than I had been in a long time. Human blood gave me new life as the sun rose. My human companion however, had seemed the opposite. Normally, my antics when I was half drunk and high on blood kept her in stitches. But last night, she seemed nothing but annoyed with me, playing on her phone and refusing the long line of partners who lined up, wanting a dance with her. When the sun finally began to rise, she practically dragged me to the car, mid-transformation. The hour long ride back hadn’t been much fun either.

  Her mood had gotten to me, and while I felt energized, I found the atmosphere that had once made me so happy didn’t do a thing for my attitude. The endless supply of women and booze didn’t feel like quite the reprieve it usually did, and I was glad to finally return to the school.

  “Hello.” My voice came through a bit louder than I intended, and I turned on the tap to drown it out.

  “Liam, darling, it’s been too long.”

  “Hello, Shannon,” I said, glancing at myself in the mirror. Years ago, Shannon had cast me in a few movies before moving back to her first love, theater. I didn’t particularly like her. She was full of attitude and ego … but then, so was I.

  “I got your pint size package yesterday,” she said, and I could hear her flipping through papers on the other side of the phone. “Very impressive. When she walked in, I thought for sure there was only one reason you’d pick her. But she’s got some talent as well.”

  “Do you really think I’m so shallow, Shannon?” I asked with a smirk on my face as I reached for a towel to rub my hair dry. I put the phone down, pressing speaker phone and turned off the tap. “That I would put the whole school in jeopardy to cast a pretty girl?”

  “That’s the Liam I know,” she replied, and it made me set my jaw. She was right, of course. Beautiful women were what got me into this whole mess in the first place and I’d once rather have a blond on my arm that couldn’t form a sentence than a bespectacled brilliant nerd.

  “And so, since you know me so well, what’s the answer to the question you are about to ask?” I wrapped the towel around my waist, spraying on some cologne.

  “The answer is of course, yes. I’m going to take Gatsby on the tour circuit in two months. Rehearsals start next week. Amy can join the chorus.”

  “As an understudy?” I asked, leaning against the counter.

  “No, just a chorus girl - for the party scenes and such. She’ll have a few lines, maybe. But I’ll bill her as on loan from your school - it’ll be good publicity for the Academy. We’ll do a whole ‘introducing’ thing, as if your school turns out students directly ready for the professional world.”

  “If rehearsals start next week, she won’t be on loan,” I replied, calculating how many days were left in the term. “This is her final semester here so she’ll finish the final show and then leave with you…and I don’t know if she’s ready, Shannon. There was talk of her being here another year. You know how it is with people who peak too soon.”

  “Or she won’t be the first to drop out of school for a show,” Shannon purred. “Full union rates, full contract.”

  “Right,” I glanced up at the mirror. I looked fully human now, if not a little tired, but I felt like I was walking through a fog. I squinted, trying to focus. Shannon was right, of course, the publicity with that kind of announcement would launch this school to a whole new level of success. It was Peter’s dream to bring the school to a level where it would be recognized as the best training academy in the world.

  And it would be a convenient way to sever ties with Amy. My chest ached at the thought of her. She was angry and cold, but I was no better. Her judgemental actions had ripped my heart out, and I cursed myself for getting involved. How could I have thought that someone in this damn world would actually understand enough to be able to look past it? The truth was, I was still the Hollywood Hunk and that’s all they ever wanted. If it came with complications, women took off faster than a jetpack.

  If she was gone from the school, and I confirmed it now, then I killed two birds with one stone. I’d be free of the awkwardness every time we saw each other and the school would soar to a new level of success. I could replace her as Beauty in an instant.

  “I’ll talk to her,” I said as I opened the door. To my surprise, Porsche was stretched on the floor in the splits, her dancer’s body fully folded over as she stretched. She glanced at me, and I raised an eyebrow, watching her. She looked pale in the dawn light, her jaw set as her limbs contorted into poses only a dancer could pull off. “Hey, I also sent you Porsche De Ritter. She’s a dancer. My first scholarship winner.”

  “I remember her.” Shannon replied, and her tone dropped. Porsche glanced at me, and I shrugged. “I’m holding dance call backs next week and I’m going to call her back.”

  “Porsche’s the prima ballerina at the Russian National,” I snapped, my tone reflecting the look Porsche gave the cell phone. “Are call backs really necessary?”

  “I’m worried about her stamina, Liam. Skinny little dancers like her can pull off a grand ball but 8 shows a week is a different matter. Even in the audition, it raised a red flag. Talk to your girl and get back to me by tomorrow.”

  “Right,” I hung up the phone then, and crossed my arms, leaning against the bathroom doorway.

  “Did she want Amy?” Porsche asked, as she slowly drew her limbs in.

  “Forget Amy, what’s going on with you?” I didn’t miss the look of pain on her face as she came back into first position.

  “I’ve been up all night, Liam, relax.”

  “Well, you weren’t up all night when you auditioned, so why is Shannon going on about a lack of stamina?” I asked, heading to my dresser to pull out clothes.

  “Uh,” Porsche replied, sitting on the bed and rotating both her ankles with her hands. I heard her joints pop from across the room and gave her a look. “Because Shannon is a helpless liar who will say anything to get her way and you know it? I swear, if she didn’t have so much power, I would never even look at her again.”

  “Porsche…” My worst fear, looking into her face, was that she would do something incredibly stupid, which I knew she was capable of. She wanted to be human, I understood that. But insisting on waiting until her dying breath to be changed into a vampire was one of the stupidest moves she could make. We weren’t always together. We couldn’t be and I feared that one day, something would happen and I wouldn’t be able to get to her in time. “What do you know?”

  “I know that all dancers age out and I’m jet-lagged, running on about an hour’s sleep. So you need to stop worrying. Now, did they want Amy?”

  “They did,” I said, pulling on a shirt. “For a chorus role though. Rehearsals start soon, and then the show is on tour, so she certainly won’t have another year here. But Shannon is willing to do a partnership agreement. It’s an amazing boost for the school. It could help give us what we need to actually rank as top in the world.”

  “And you won’t have to awkwardly stare at each other in class,” she pointed out, standing up. “Industry break ups are always awkward.”

  “It’s not awkward,” I snapped, turning to distract myself. “She’ll stop looking at me like a lost puppy dog, and the school will get a boost. Win.”

  “Except killing herself at rehearsal there, when she has a lead role here too, to just play a chorus girl and possibly get stuck there forever, isn’t the best advice in the world.” Porsche went to her purse, rummaging around for what I assumed were he
r pills. “Did you think of that?”

  “I can’t hold their hands!” I protested, turning back to her. “I got her the audition, I got her the contact, and the rest is up to her. I need this for the school … whether she’s stuck in the chorus forever or not.”

  “She’s better than that.” The dancer replied, quietly. “And she doesn’t have a lot of time to waste in the chorus.”

  “That’s not really my concern.” I said, trying to ignore the look she was giving me. Porsche met my eyes, reading my face without even trying.

  “You don’t want her to go, do you?” She asked, not seeming surprised at all. I scoffed at it.

  “Of course I want her to go. Why exactly do I want a judgemental clingy teenager hanging around here?” I asked, and Porsche smiled slightly.

  “You don’t remember when I found out about you? Shields aren’t supposed to ally themselves with anyone. We’re brought up to believe vampires are terrible evil creatures. It took me awhile to get over my prejudices and beliefs about you too.”

  “You didn’t run screaming from the room in terror, either.” I said. “Making me feel like I was some sort of monster.”

  “We’re all some sort of monster.” She pointed out, and we fell into silence a moment, locking eyes. Eventually, I looked away, not wanting to address the fact that she could read me like an open book.

  “Now, are you going to teach for me today, since you’re taking up space?”

  Porsche rolled her eyes, swallowing the antiretroviral meds without water, and rising, heading to the shower herself.

  “Whatever, Liam,” she replied, but the slamming of the door told me she meant much differently. I rolled my eyes, letting the towel drop to fully get dressed.

  She had a point of course. Shannon did have a tendency to make sure her chorus performers felt lower than the ticket takers at the theaters they performed at. And Beauty and the Beast would be attended by scouts across the country; the year end show always was. But at the moment, thinking of how Amy had bolted from the room that night, I really didn’t care.