HisTimidFox

by VictoriaVallo

  Despite his lingering confusion, he was happy to be going home. At least he wouldn’t have to give the disappointing news to his parents, as they’d never known his feelings for Bella were serious. His mother had noticed his crush, but she’d never pressed him to talk about it. He never discussed such things with his father, though they had a good relationship. They’d never been talkative or boisterous at home, and it made Thomas very curious to hear more about Viktor’s life growing up.

  “Is everyone ready?” Viktor asked as he glanced about.

  “Almost. The drivers and stable lads and everyone else is here. Just waiting on Godwin. The soldiers are waiting for us at the village gates.”

  “And the ladies are whispering about us. Should I grab your ass and see which one gasps the loudest?”

  Thomas had gotten used to Viktor’s teasing, yet he always found himself taking it all so literally. He bit his lip to keep from saying yes. “They’re just curious about you.”

  “I’m not that interesting.”

  “I can’t agree with that. Talking with you every evening for the past week has been more entertaining than any novel I’ve ever read.”

  Viktor grinned. “Really? Glad I’m coming off so … impressive.”

  Thomas crossed his arms, trying to look suspicious. “Hmmm. Are you stretching the truth to seem more impressive?”

  “Who knows? You might have to wait until you’ve seen me in action to really tell.”

  “I hope that won’t happen on this trip.” As they walked back to where Viktor’s horse, Renaldo, was grazing next to Pumpkin, Thomas asked, “Did you manage to find a sleeping roll?”

  “Yes, I went down to the market yesterday afternoon.” Coming around the other side of his black stallion, he lifted a flap on the saddle bag and showed Thomas the bed roll. Putting the flap back into place, he patted Renaldo on the flank. “He’s ready to be on the road. Doesn’t like being cooped up.”

  “The horses are all exercised daily on Godwin’s estate. And we’re on the edge of the city so you won’t have to go far to find a decent field to ride in.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.” Viktor glanced over Thomas’s shoulder. “Your friend still trying to make sure you’re all right?”

  “Yes. She means well. But I don’t want to be treated differently.”

  “It won’t last forever. Don’t worry.” Viktor looked to the carts and then back at their horses. “It’s been a long time since I slept under the stars.”

  “I have a tent, if you want to share. It’s not likely to rain, but it’ll probably be rather chilly tonight.”

  “That will really set tongues wagging,” Viktor said. Before Thomas could reply, Viktor nodded behind him. “Looks like Vane Godwin is ready.”

  The older man smiled broadly as he came up to them. “Well, all set, are we?” He glanced around as he waited for Thomas to answer.

  “Yes, sir. The soldiers are waiting at the gate, and everything is ready here.”

  Godwin nodded vigorously and then headed for his horse. “Let’s get moving then. I’d like to be settled by sunset.” To Viktor, he added, “The spot we’ll be camping is quite beautiful.”

  “I’m looking forward to it. I’m sure it’s going to be a beautiful night.”

  Once they were on their way, Godwin led them with the stable boys riding on either side just behind him. The carts followed, and Thomas and Viktor took up the rear for now.

  “To be honest,” Thomas began softly, “tongues are already wagging a good bit.”

  “They’ll do that,” Viktor said.

  “I only wanted to say that I don’t mind.” He looked over to meet Viktor’s gaze. “If people talk.”

  “I don’t either. Don’t worry about that.”

  “I mean, I’m shy. Spending lots of time with anyone would make people curious.”

  “And you’re making me curious.” Licking his lips, he asked, “Are you preparing me for the moment you’re going to drag me into your tent tonight?”

  “I guess I’m trying to ask if you’re just teasing me. Or if you actually … you know…”

  “Want you to drag me into your tent?”

  Thomas nodded.

  “Hmmm.” Viktor took a deep breath and let it out slowly. When he looked back to Thomas, he said, “I was hoping we could continue spending our evenings together.”

  “Yes, I’d like that.”

  “Perhaps I could take you out to dinner one night.”

  “Really?”

  Viktor nodded, a smile curling his lips. “Yes. Do you prefer to stay in?”

  “I do tend to be a homebody. It’s more that no one has ever taken me out before.”

  Now Viktor frowned as he switched the reins to his other hand and leaned in Thomas’s direction a bit. “You’ve never been out with a lover?”

  “No. I’ve never been in a courtship relationship.”

  “You don’t have to be in a courtship relationship to be wined and dined, any more than you have to be in one to do all the other activities that I know you’ve engaged in.”

  “I know, but I told you I’ve never had a serious relationship before.”

  “Then I’m flattered. And pleased.”

  Thomas looked down and said, “Good.”

  “We’ve been dancing around this for over a week, though with good reason,” Viktor said.

  “That’s settled then,” Thomas said, still looking down.

  Viktor chuckled. “Is it?”

  Thomas looked over at him. “Us liking each other, I meant.”

  “I don’t think there was ever any question. Are you saying yes to dinner?”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Vane Godwin doesn’t have any rules about it?”

  “No, though he may be surprised. I did have to ask his permission to propose to Bella.”

  “Ah. You don’t want him to think you’re, what, flighty?”

  “He knows I’m not. I don’t … it doesn’t matter. I’m overthinking this.”

  “That’s flattering, too.” Viktor grinned.

  “Is the teasing about to get worse now?”

  Viktor tilted his head and rubbed his chin. “Hard to say. It is going to change our dynamic. We’ll have to engage in a slightly different level of banter.”

  Thomas laughed loudly, stifling it when Bella, Meg, and one of the stable boys turned to look at him. They’d just reached the gates, and the soldiers conferred with Godwin before they left the village and ventured onto the main road.

  “I see you’re going to keep me on my toes,” Thomas said.

  “And on your back,” Viktor added softly, “when that time comes.”

  Thomas held the other man’s gaze a moment but didn’t reply. Once he broke away, he kept his gaze ahead, wondering if that time was going to come tonight.

  Chapter Four

  Viktor couldn’t help noticing that Thomas had been much quieter than usual since their talk as they were leaving the village. Viktor sat on a rock, stoking the fire they’d built. They’d all enjoyed a picnic dinner, prepared by their host, and had lounged around watching the sunset earlier. The ladies and both stable boys had gone to the guesthouse with one of the matrons from the main house, but everyone else remained outside. The soldiers were going to take turns standing guard with a few men their host had provided, but the rest of the men had already retired for the evening. He and Thomas were far enough away no one would be able to hear them talking. Or doing anything else.

  The question, of course, was whether or not Thomas actually wanted that tonight. Viktor had wanted it from day one, but the gravity of their consummation had certainly changed since that first meeting. Viktor couldn’t—and wouldn’t—spend a few nights in Thomas’s bed and then be done with him. A brief, torrid affair was out of the question.

  Perhaps we shouldn’t start this with a fumble in a tent. There’s a time and place for rutting on the ground with stones bruising your back … and this isn’t it.

&nb
sp; Despite the awkwardness of their conversation earlier, Viktor kept going back to one thing Thomas had said. The younger man had referred to them liking each other, and Viktor pondered that as he stared into the flames. What had started between them did go beyond attraction. He really liked Thomas, and knowing Thomas liked and admired him pleased him in a way he struggled to describe.

  “It’s cooler than I thought it would be,” Thomas said, coming to sit beside Viktor.

  “It is, but I sort of like it. I tend to run a bit hot.”

  “My father’s like that. But he doesn’t shift very often.”

  “Really? Does he not like to?”

  “I don’t know.” He paused a moment. “We don’t talk a lot. Our relationship is fine, but not very close.”

  “But they’ll be happy to see you?”

  “Oh yes.” Thomas looked into the fire. “Would yours be happy to see you?”

  “My mother would. My father? Well, he’d give me a fine upbraiding for half a dozen things. Then he’d asked me what I’m doing now. That would lead into him trying to draw me into some new scheme of his.”

  “Do you fight?”

  “We argue. It doesn’t escalate too much. I really get into it with my brothers sometimes.”

  “But you love them all, don’t you? You seem to, based on things you’ve told me so far.”

  “I do love them.” Viktor slipped down onto the ground so he could lean back on the large rock he’d been sitting on. “Remind me what I’ve told you again. I really shouldn’t drink when I tell stories.”

  “You were hardly drunk or spilling any secrets.” Thomas hugged his knees to him after he shifted to face Viktor a little better. “You told me about bloodying a boy’s nose because he kissed your sister. And she got angry at you because she wanted to punch him herself.”

  “That’s Erza. She’s as tall as I am these days.”

  “And one of your younger brothers jumped you in the hayloft because you were waiting to fuck the girl he liked.”

  Viktor laughed. “I never finished that one. We started talking about something else.”

  Thomas tilted his head. “Something else happened after she screamed at you both and stormed out?”

  “Yes.” Viktor chuckled. “She was so impressed by his passion, as she called it, that she seduced him a week later. While he was supposed to be milking the cows.” He laughed again. “It was worth the brief humiliation because of the jokes we all got to make.”

  “Jokes?”

  Viktor leaned his head back. “Mostly milking references. They had to get married a few months later because she got pregnant. Possibly that very first time, given the timeframe.”

  Thomas tried to stifle his laughter. “I’m curious about the milking jokes yet think I don’t want to ask.”

  “Don’t. They were very juvenile.”

  “Did they work out? Stay together?”

  “Indeed they did. Last time I was home, they had four children.”

  “I always tried to be careful. I’m not sure what kind of father I’d make.”

  Viktor sat forward and turned to face Thomas more fully, unable to hide his surprise. “What? I think you’d be a good father.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes. You’re patient and kind. You’d take it seriously and never shirk responsibilities. Always look out for the child’s interests.” He shrugged. “Just my opinion.”

  “Thank you.”

  “For what? Giving my opinion?”

  “For putting my doubts to rest. I … always wonder what people think of me.”

  “I’d bet they’re curious. You do keep to yourself.”

  Thomas focused on the fire. “I don’t always mean to.”

  “You were quieter on the ride here. I worried you were withdrawing from me a bit.”

  He turned his gaze to his clasped hands. “Just thinking.”

  “About us?”

  “Yes.”

  Viktor rose and sat on the rock by Thomas again. “About tonight?”

  “I figured that would work itself out.”

  “Certainly seems to be.” He leaned against Thomas and nudged him. “I want to learn about you.”

  * * * *

  Thomas eyed Viktor, who looked even more handsome in the flickering firelight. “There’s not much to know.”

  “There’s plenty to know, and I want to know at least some of it.”

  He’s trying to make it clear he won’t pressure me into sex. Is it better that way? I mean, it’s obvious we both want it, but… “I like to read. And I enjoy travelling even though I don’t like crowds.”

  “What about parties?”

  “I like them if they’re for my family or friends. But big formal occasions?” He shook his head. “I do what’s required and usually leave as soon as I can. But I’ll stay if there’s good music to listen to.”

  “You play an instrument?”

  “No. Never learned. You?”

  “I can play the lute, mandolin, pretty much anything with strings. I’m not bad with a harp, if I have music in front of me.”

  Thomas smiled. “I’d love to hear you play.”

  “I’d love to play for you.”

  Thomas could see the warmth in the other man’s eyes, and he didn’t know what to say next. Viktor seemed to sense this, placing his hand on Thomas’s.

  “As much as I’d like to take you into that tent and fuck you, I’m not going to. Not tonight. I can tell you’re trying to hide it, but you’re still confused, even if you aren’t exactly heartbroken,” Viktor said softly. “And I’m not trying to act like I know best simply because I’m older. I want you to have time.”

  “Time?”

  “To think.”

  Thomas sighed, his gaze falling to Viktor’s hand on his. It felt so strong and warm and far more comforting than any gesture Thomas could remember. “All I’m doing is thinking.”

  “What are you thinking?”

  “What you said. I’m confused. One minute, I feel as I’m handling it so well. The next, I think I must be in denial. That this should hurt so much more. Then I think about how my feelings never kept me from letting others into my bed.” He met Viktor’s gaze. “And then I find myself thinking that everyone knows how attracted I am to you.”

  Viktor smiled. “People have noticed.”

  “I hate attention.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Everyone knowing my business. Watching me. Wanting to know what I’m doing and why.”

  “Unless you plan on going to live with your family in the mountains, you can’t get away from that.”

  Thomas licked his lips. “Wish I could be as calm and confident as you.”

  “I seem that way?” Viktor lifted Thomas’s hand now and held it, rubbing his thumb over Thomas’s knuckles. “I’ve spent the last week worrying about saying the right thing. Cheering you up. Not jumping you and pinning you to the wall every time you reacted well to my teasing.”

  “And what do you consider reacting well?” Thomas asked.

  “Smiling the way you do. Looking down. Biting your lip.” He brought Thomas’s hand to his lips for a very brief kiss. “Love it when you do that.”

  “It’s a habit my mom hates.”

  “Well, I like it.”

  “Good.” He looked up from their joined hands. It made him smile that Viktor had noticed all of those things about you.

  Viktor held his gaze a few seconds before rising to stoke the fire a bit more. He stopped and looked up at the stars. “It’s beautiful out here. You forget how much the lanterns and torches make the stars harder to see in the cities and villages. Out here, everything’s so clear and bright.”

  Thomas leaned back on the rock and looked up. “It is. I love stopping here.”

  Viktor went over to the tent and ducked inside for a little while. He came back out with their bed rolls and spread them beside each other, leaving a few inches between. “You know the constellations? My father taught
me all of them when I used to sail with him.”

  “I know some of them.”

  Viktor looked up and readjusted the bed rolls. Lying down, he leaned back on his elbows and looked up again. Then he patted the roll beside him. “Perfect view here. I’ll show you some of the brightest ones.”

  Thomas went over and lay down beside Viktor. He propped himself up with his elbows, just as Viktor had, and he took a deep breath to enjoy the man’s scent. When Viktor didn’t say anything, Thomas looked over at him. “What?”

  “I will fuck you under the stars one day. Just not tonight.”

  Viktor’s voice held no teasing tone this time. “I’ll hold you to that,” Thomas said. Turning his gaze back up, he added, “I’m usually pretty timid about asking for what I want. But I do want that.”

  “Good,” Viktor said, echoing Thomas’s response from earlier. He cleared his throat and said, “Over there is Wyld’s mountain hall. Those six stars that sort of form a triangle.” He traced the pattern with his finger. “With the spiral pattern below. That represents the door to the great hall. The triangle is the roof.”

  “Yes, I see it.” Thomas leaned a bit closer to follow Viktor’s finger.

  “To the right of it, do you see the long line of stars and the cluster at the end?”

  “Yes. The spear of Kyros, right?”

  “Yes.” He pointed to the left next. “And Vena’s grove is over there. The little clusters of faint stars all clumped together. They represent the trees and bushes, the lushness of the grove.”

  Thomas pointed to the south. “What is that? I’ve always thought it looked like a line of pillars. Maybe a temple or something.”

  “Those are Kyros’s warriors. Men who died gloriously in battle. They stand at attention, waiting for the day he’ll need them and call them to battle once more.”