All I Need 3

by Scarlett Metal

  He had been asking me for the past month to move in with him. I wasn’t ready to commit to him on that level yet but I couldn’t tell him that. I used my Dad as an excuse but that was only going to work for so long.

  I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for. My mother would be so happy if she saw who I was dating now. She used to always ask David to set me up with his friends but I always said no. It was ironic I was dating a surgeon now that she was gone.

  I still thought about Cane every day. Despite being apart, I kept track of him best I could through the tabloids and Rebecca who was still in LA. I watched the whole Destiny thing blow up even more when he was arrested for hurting her and I was thankful to be away from that train wreck. When I read she wasn’t pregnant with his baby, I almost called him up but then I remembered all the pain I had been through because of him and refrained.

  My heart broke for him when I read about how bad the album did and the band breaking up. It ached when I saw the drunken pictures of him hitting rock bottom. I wanted to save him, but I knew him; he wasn’t going to listen to me.

  He disappeared from the tabloids for a bit and that’s when I started seeing Zach. When it came out that he was clean and sober now and starting a record label with Diesel, I was so happy for him. Life was so different now for both of us.

  Writing the book for Rolling Stone about my time as a music journalist was the opportunity of a lifetime but when it came to my time with Cane, I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to put in there. Everyone knew we dated; we hadn’t kept it a secret and had our fair share of our pictures in tabloids.

  After some late night calls to my editor and Rebecca, I decided to be honest. This was also the reason I freaked out when Zach wanted to read my book. It revealed details of my life I hadn’t shared with him yet.

  Now my two worlds were colliding. Despite my protests, Zach had insisted on coming with me to LA. I couldn’t keep him away without raising suspicion. It wasn’t fair to him either; he was being the good, supportive boyfriend he always was.

  My hands were shaking as I applied my make-up. I had decided on a simple black strapless dress and thigh high black leather boots. I wore my long auburn hair pinned back on the sides. Zach hadn’t been able to keep his hands off of me when he saw me and we ended up having a quickie on the bathroom counter. I loved how he seemed so reserved but could be such a naughty boy when we were alone.

  I finished my make-up and was surveying myself in the mirror when my phone dinged. I looked down and saw I had a text from Rebecca.

  Are you nervous?

  I glanced toward the door, listening for Zach. All I could hear was the news he had playing on the hotel TV. I typed back a quick response.

  Yes, I’m nervous as fuck. What if I see him?

  “Lindsey, are you ready? It’s almost nine. We should probably go,” Zach called to me.

  “Be out in a sec,” I replied, setting my phone back down. I applied a thin coat of lip gloss and wiped my sweaty palms on my dress. I was as ready as I was going to be. Hopefully I didn’t barf from nerves before we even got there.

  When I came out of the bathroom, Zach was sitting on the edge of the bed in front of the TV, the remote in his hands. He was engrossed in some show on the Discovery channel and didn’t even notice me. I stood there for a second and waited, finally clearing my throat. He turned his head to look at me, he dropped the remote, his mouth open. “Wow, Lindsey, you look amazing.”

  I didn’t wear much make up on but for tonight I went all out like I used to when I went to parties in LA. “It’s not too much?” I asked and walked over to him. He reached for me and pulled me down so I was sitting on his lap, his arm around my waist.

  “Hell no,” he said, his other hand sliding up my thigh. “Maybe we should both skip the party,” he winked at me and his hand disappeared under my skirt. He slid a finger over my slit and I gasped.

  “It’s tempting,” I said and leaned my head against his. Getting lost in Zach tonight seemed a lot safer than potentially running into Cane.

  He removed his hand and patted my thigh. “But we can’t. They’re expecting you.” Sometimes it sucked having a boyfriend that was so responsible. If I suggested to Cane we stay in and fuck instead of going to a stuffy industry party, he wouldn’t have to think twice. I mentally shook my head. I shouldn’t think about Cane so much anymore, especially when I was sitting on Zach’s lap.

  He squeezed me close. “I’m really proud of you, Lindsey.” He looked up at me and smiled.

  “Thank you,” I said softly and wrapped both arms around his neck. He was so comfortable and easy to be with. It was effortless with Zach and that was why I liked him.

  “I know we have to go, but I wanted to ask you something,” he said, his hand on my knee while his thumb rubbed in small circles.

  “Sure,” I said, my heart started to pound. Was he going to ask me about my life in LA or Cane? I hadn’t let him read the book yet either as I knew it would probably raise questions I wasn’t ready to answer yet.

  “We’ve been together eight months now. I love you and I would like you to move in with me,” he said quickly in one breath.

  I was totally caught off guard by his question; I hadn’t expected that at all. “What about my dad?” I asked.

  “He’s doing better Lindsey and you can’t stay with him forever. I don’t live that far from him and you could still check on him all the time. I think he’s ready.”

  He was right. Dad was doing better but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to move in with Zach. I sat there in silence.

  “Listen,” he said firmly, reaching up to touch my cheek with a finger and moving my face so I was looking at him. “I know you’ve been hurt in the past. Even though you won’t share with me many details, I can tell. I promise you Lindsey I will never hurt you like those other guys will. You have to let me in though.”

  My eyes filled with tears. He was right. I hadn’t been fair to him and had kept a wall up around my heart. “I know you won’t,” I sniffled, trying hard not to wreck my make-up. “I’ll seriously think about it, I promise. We can talk about it more when we get back to Madison.”

  “Deal,” he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Now let’s go.” He patted my ass until I stood up. “I want to go show off my fucking hot girlfriend.”

  I laughed and he pulled me against him, leaning down to kiss my forehead. “Every guy is going to be jealous that I have the sexiest girl there.”

  “I don’t know about that. You’ve never been to one of these parties before. Compared to some, I’ll be overdressed.” I grabbed my small handbag and made sure it had my lipstick and cell phone.

  “I don’t care; you’ll still be the hottest girl there,” he said softly and took my hand as we left the room.

  I smiled shyly at him. Sometimes I felt like he deserved someone that didn’t have as much baggage as I did. He was always so good to me and so patient; I was one lucky girl. I was going seriously think about moving in with him.

  The party was actually right at the hotel we were staying at. We got into the elevator, still holding hands. “Are you nervous to see everyone again?” He asked, squeezing my hand.

  “A little,” I admitted. I didn’t want to tell him I was most nervous about running into my ex.

  “It’ll be fine,” he assured me. “I can’t wait to meet some rock stars myself. There are going to be some there, right?”

  I laughed and shook my head. “You crack me up. There will probably be some there.”

  “Awesome,” he said with a nod of his head.

  The elevator arrived and the door opened. We walked out and turned the corner to see the crowd of people outside the door of the party room. I glanced around, but I didn’t see Cane yet. My goal was to get inside and hide out with my own group so I wouldn’t even see him.

  “Let’s go check in,” he said, pulling me towards the table near the doors. There was a line, so we stood and waited. I hung onto Zach’s hand like he was my life pres
erver and I would drowned without him.

  While we waited for our turn, I glanced around the room. My shoulders relaxed a bit when I didn’t see Cane. I casually turned around and my jaw dropped when I saw him standing about five feet behind us. I turned around quickly but I think he saw me.

  So much for sneaking in without being seen by him.

  Chapter Eleven ~ Cane

  There she was. She was standing maybe fifteen feet away from me. I recognized that red hair anywhere. I took a step towards her to say high when I saw him. She was with someone – holding his hand even. I tried to get a better look at him, but there were too many people.

  I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. She turned around and I caught a glimpse of the green eyes I missed so much. Our eyes locked for a minute, but she turned back around quickly. She didn’t even acknowledge me. Fuck. I knew I shouldn’t have come to this damn party. I needed a smoke.

  I stepped out of line and walked to the lobby of the hotel. I shouldn’t be surprised that she had moved on. I’m sure men lined up for a date with her. Did she still have a thing for musicians? I walked outside and took a deep breath in the cool night air. I lite my cigarette and took a long drag before blowing out the smoke. For the first time in months, I was craving alcohol like crazy. There once was a time I find a bottle of booze and drink until I passed out. I had to admit, I missed numbing the pain.

  I finished my cigarette and was about to walk to my car when I ran into Diesel and Tracy. Shit, I had been hoping to sneak out before they got there. I was never getting out of here now.

  “Hey man,” he said with a smile, reaching out a hand to shake it. I took it in mine and gave him a bro hug. “What are you doing out here?” He eyed me suspiciously.

  “Having a smoke,” I said with a shrug and turned my attention to Tracy. “You look amazing,” I said with a smile and hugged her. She was a brunette with short hair and was wearing a red off the shoulder dress and red heels. I always teased Diesel that she was too good for him.

  “You look pretty good yourself,” she said, looking me over. I had opted for some black jeans and a black button down shirt. Black combat books completed the look.

  “Thanks,” I replied and took a deep breath. “Lindsey’s here.”

  Tracy glanced over at Diesel. “Did you talk to her?” He asked.

  “I were in line to check in when I noticed her. I was about to say hi to her but I noticed she was with some guy. She was holding his hand.” The image flashed in my mind again and my blood boiled. I had no right to be jealous and possessive; she hadn’t belonged to me in three years – if ever.

  “Who was it?” He asked. He knew Lindsey always had a thing for musicians, so maybe he thought it was someone we knew.

  “I didn’t get a good look,” I sighed. “I left the line and came out for a smoke. I was going to leave but then you guys came.”

  “You shouldn’t be alone,” Tracy said, tucking her arm in with his. She knew everything about me. She knew about my history with Lindsey and Destiny and all of my alcohol issues. There were some times she was easier to talk to than Diesel about things, especially Lindsey.

  “I know,” I patted her hand. “I haven’t had the urge to get totally wasted in a long time but I do tonight. So I can forget.”

  “Oh sweetie,” she said and hugged my arm. She looked over at Diesel. “Maybe we should leave and go somewhere else. We could even go back to our house.”

  Diesel sighed and looked towards the crowd. “We really need to be here, Tracy,” he said.

  “It’s fine,” I protested. “I’ll be fine. It’s a big place so hopefully I won’t see her. If I do, so what. It’s been three years. I was silly to think she wouldn’t be with someone.”

  “Are you sure?” Tracy asked, her blue eyes wide with concern.

  “Yes,” I said firmly. “Let’s go inside.”

  We took off for the party and I was relieved Lindsey was nowhere in sight. We found our table and sat down. I found myself constantly scanning the crowd for a glimpse of her. I didn’t even bother trying to talk to Diesel or Tracy and if anyone else stopped by our table to talk, I was usually short with them, causing them to leave minutes after they stopped by.

  I eventually found her. She was across the room and talking to her friend Rebecca. I didn’t get a good look at the guy that she had been with earlier, but she appeared to be alone this time. I watched them talk and it must have been something important by the way the two of them were waving their arms around. I couldn’t help but smile; I forgot how animated she got when she talked about something she was excited about.

  Rebecca walked away and Lindsey stood there alone. Now was my chance but she was way across the room. Would I be too late?”

  I stood up. “I’ll be right back.” I hurried off before Diesel or Mandy could say anything, my sights set on Lindsey. Before I got to her, she turned and headed towards the hallway behind her where the bathrooms were. Fuck. I picked up my pace.

  As disappeared into the hallway and I followed. When I was right behind her, I reached out and grabbed her arm. “Lindsey, wait,” I said, stopping her.

  “What the hell?” She asked and spun around. Her face when white when she saw me. “Cane,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

  “Hello, Lindsey,” I said softly, my eyes roaming her body. Damn, she looked as hot as ever in that little black dress. I was a little bit unnerved; now that she was standing in front of me, I didn’t know what to say to her. “You look as gorgeous as ever.”

  She looked past my shoulder before her gaze rested on me. “Thank you. How are you?”

  “Good.” My eyes were drawn to those luscious limps. I had thought about the way they looked wrapped around my cock more than once. “You?”

  “I’m good,” she said, brushing a strand of hair off of her face. She had on the pair of thigh high boots she bought when I was with her shopping once. I had wanted to buy them for her, but she insisted paying for them herself. She did model them for me later wearing nothing else soon they were wrapped around me. I wanted them wrapped around me again.

  There was an awkward pause. “Congrats on the book,” I finally managed to say. Now that I had her here in front of me, I didn’t want to let her go any time soon.

  “Thanks. I heard you and Diesel started a record label. How’s that?” She clutched her small purse and I could see the whites of her knuckles. It made me feel good to know she was still keeping tabs on me.

  “It’s going well. It’s different though,” I admitted and rubbed the back of my neck with my hand. There was a small part of me that missed performing and the thousands of people screaming for me.

  “I bet.” She smiled. “Well, I have to go. It was good talking to you, Cane. Take care.”

  “You too,” I said, unable to think of anything else to say to her that might keep her there talking to me. I watched her turn and head into the bathroom.

  That couldn’t be it. After our time together and the way I felt about her, I couldn’t let her walk away like that. I paced around outside of the bathrooms. I ran my hand through my hair, looking around for anyone that might be looking for her. The door to the woman’s bathroom started to open and there was no one coming, so I grabbed her hand as she came out.

  “Come with me,” I said and dragged her further down the hall to a coat room I had noticed.

  “Cane, what the hell are you doing?” she protested behind me.

  I entered the small enclave and pulled her with me. I reached for her face, cupping it in my hands and almost moaned when my lips met hers. I wanted to be gentle but breathing in her scent and feeling her against me was too much for my control. I turned and pushed her hard against the wall, pinning her there with my body. I slide a thigh between her legs and assaulted her lips with mine.

  She was stunned at first but soon she was whimpering and melting against me, returning the kiss. Our teeth clashed and my moved down to cup her ass. I was ready to take her right there. I
missed burying myself in that sweet pussy.

  She brought her hands up to my chest and gave me a hard shove, ending the kiss. “Get off of me you asshole!” She cried out, her chest heaving. She wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand.

  I stumbled back, almost losing my balance. Her eyes were wild and her cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry,” I said, not sure what else to say.

  “I haven’t seen you in three years, Cane. You can’t just pull me away and kiss me. I have a boyfriend,” she said, wiping a tear from her cheek.

  My heart ached at her pain. I had no right to do that. “I still love you, Lindsey,” I confessed.

  “No,” She stood up straight and shook her head. “You can’t do that. You cannot come back into my life and announce your love for me, Cane. I don’t give a fuck who you think you are. I’ve moved on with a nice guy that loves me and takes care of me. Most of all, he doesn’t hurt me every five minutes.”

  Her words were life a knife to my heart and I slumped down the wall until I was sitting on the floor. I buried my face in my hands. I didn’t deserve her. “I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you, Lindsey.” I looked up at her, my eyes wet with tears. “You deserve so much more.”

  “I have to go,” she said, wiping the tears from her cheek and pulling a mirror from her purse. “Please stay away from me,” she said while she checked her hair and make-up. She snapped it shut and looked down at me. “Take care of yourself, Cane.”

  And then she was gone.

  I don’t know how long I sat in that small room. All I could see was Lindsey’s hurt expression in front of me and it was like a punch in the gut to know I did that to her. I hated the idea of her with another man, but above all, I wanted her to be happy.

  “Cane! Are you back here?”

  I came out of my trance when I heard Diesel’s voice coming from the hallway. I managed to pick myself up and brush off my pants before stepping out where he could see me. “I’m right here,” I said softly, my voice thick with emotion.