The Way Back to Us

by Jamie Howard

  “He was very real.” He glanced out the window and inclined his head. A man, the same man from the photographs, leaned against the brick building across the street, eyes hidden behind his sunglasses. “But he wasn’t following me. He was following you. And he didn’t just trail behind you, you served him a beer, he held the door open for you.” His voice was steady and even, but every word was coated in barbs, ripping into me as he threw them at me. “If the threat had been real, you would have been dead a dozen times over with how careless you’ve been.”

  “I’m sorry.” I stared down at the table, fixating on the chunk missing on the top edge.

  “I don’t need you to be sorry, Dani. I need you to be alive. I knew New York was going to be difficult for you; it’s why I took extra precautions while we were here. Do you think it’s not hard for me, too? Being so close to your mother’s grave but not even being able to leave flowers for her?” His finger tapped the top of his coffee mug. “We can’t risk it anymore. It’s time to go.”

  “What, now?” My eyes flew up to his, every muscle in my body tight and standing at attention.

  “You’re going to get your things and be at our designated meeting point in two hours. Not a second more.” He fished out a ten from his wallet and tossed it on the table. One of quite a handful of green bills shoved inside.

  “Did you pay this guy to follow me?” My head spun.

  “You forget, this was my home for many years before we left. I still have friends here.”

  “So, he’s a cop?” I fisted the napkin in my hand. “Maybe he can help. There has to be something they can do. What if—”

  “You think, what? How could the police possibly help us? You forget the rampant corruption in the NYPD is why we’re in this whole situation to begin with. If they hadn’t burned my cover your mother would still be alive.” He gritted his teeth together. “No, we’re on our own. It’s the best chance we’ve got.” He slid out of the booth and stood. “Two hours.”

  “No.” I pierced the empty seat across from me with my stare.

  He sucked in a breath. “What did you just say?”

  “I said, no.” Determination flowed through my veins as I stood and looked him in the eyes. “We’re not in danger here. Any danger I thought we were in was fabricated. By you. So you’re going to give me the time I need to say goodbye. You can at least give me that.” The look on his face was incredulous—expression blank, mouth set in a grim line. I hiked my purse over my shoulder and headed for the door. “Sunday, noon. I won’t be late.”

  Chapter 33: Gavin

  Worry tugged at my gut, a soft, persistent feeling that I couldn’t shake. Dani had pulled into Jules’s driveway right on time. She’d spent the night smiling, talking, taking pictures with the girls. On the surface, everything seemed perfect. But when she looked at me, her gaze lingered. Almost like she was trying to drink it all in.

  I’d felt our time together slipping through my fingers and I’d had no choice but to let it. There was no point trying to hold onto something as thin as air. I was smarter than that. But there had to be an answer. Something I hadn’t thought of.

  Seeing her there, burgundy red hair against Daphne’s brighter carrot color, was just right. She belonged with me. Not just for this snapshot of time we’d stolen, but for always. I didn’t want to just joke about our wedding, I wanted to plan it. Whether it was Vegas or Italy or middle-of-nowhere Kansas, I wanted it. I wanted her. And I’d do just about anything to get it.

  Resolve strengthened my spine, my mind spinning in a thousand different directions. An idea took root, just the seed of one, but it was enough to bring back that elusive little feeling—hope.

  “You look pretty deep in thought there,” Ian said, tipping up his beer bottle. “Anything we need to talk about?”

  We’d need to talk, all of us, sooner rather than later, but now wasn’t the time. Not until I’d talked to Dani. And certainly not the night before Felix’s wedding. “Just savoring the moment.” I swirled my bourbon around the glass. “How’re you doing?”

  “Trying to focus on the happy.” His thumb toyed with the peeling label on his bottle. “Bianca’s been giving me some space.”

  Indeed she was. Flitting from person to person, she could’ve been at one of her political fundraisers that she used to spend so much time at. And this past week she’d pulled more than a few strings, called in a handful of favors, to get everything as perfect as could be for tomorrow. But as much as she was giving Ian the space he needed to deal with his demons, her gaze was constantly straying to him.

  “Do you want it? The space?”

  “No.” A deep sigh. “But it seems wrong to lean on her when it has to do with Maggie.”

  In most cases I could see his point. Most women had a firm stance against playing therapist when it came to their boyfriend’s former wives. But Bianca wasn’t most women, and this wasn’t a typical situation. “Maybe you should let her decide how much she wants to deal with.”

  His look turned thoughtful. “You think it’s too early to call it a night?”

  “Funny, I was just wondering the same thing.” I gave him a wry smile.

  “You two calling it quits already?” Felix crutched up next to us. He didn’t use them all that often because most times the chair was more convenient and I knew the sticks tired him out.

  “Considering it.” A chorus of laughter revved up from the corner, and we all glanced that way. The girls, every single one of them were doubled in half. “We probably don’t want to know what they’re talking about, do we?”

  Ben stepped up beside Felix, spinning a single flower between his fingers. “Definitely not.”

  Ian shifted on his feet. “Planning to do something with that?”

  Ben glanced down at the flower and then back across the room. “It’s probably better if I didn’t.”

  The three of us sighed in unison.

  “So, my man.” I nudged Felix with my elbow. “Getting cold feet?”

  “No way.” He shook his head. “My feet are hot. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.”

  Jules popped into my periphery. “Whatcha talking about, boys?”

  “Felix’s sweaty feet.” I grinned at her.

  Her eyes narrowed, like she wasn’t sure if she was missing an inside joke. She poked me in the chest with her fingernail for good measure. “I hope you all don’t mind, but I wanted to come say goodnight to my almost-husband.” Her whole face lit up at the word. To Felix she said, “I’m gonna get Elle to bed, she’s pretty wiped out.”

  I glanced over Jules’s head to find Elle. She looked so frail in her wheelchair, just the shadow of the person I’d met mere months ago. A hand crocheted blanket lay across her lap in bright greens and blues. JHD had stolen everything from her—her voice, her ability to walk. Now she was having trouble eating and her poor body was wracked with seizures.

  “You need any help with her?” I finished off my bourbon.

  “I’ve got it,” she said. “But thanks.” Stretching up on the balls of her feet, she pecked Felix on the mouth. “I’ll meet you upstairs. It’ll probably be about an hour.”

  His lips cracked in a grin. “I’ll be waiting.”

  Ian waited until Jules was out of earshot to say, “I think having sex the night before your wedding is considered to be bad luck.”

  “You know what’s not bad luck?” My glass hit the table behind me with a sharp thunk. “Me having sex on the night before your wedding.”

  “Thanks for that visual,” Ben muttered, still playing with that damn flower.

  I grabbed it from between his fingers and glanced at it. It was something that looked like a daisy, but it was light purple not white. I pinched one of the petals between my fingers and yanked it off. “She loves you.” Another. “She loves you.” A third. “Oh wait, she loves you. Just in case you were wondering.” I handled the mangled flower back to him.

  I was halfway across the room before I turned right back around and w
alked up to him. Levelling a finger at his chest, I shoved him firmly right in the center of it. “We all bite our tongues around you when it comes to Rachel, but enough is enough. Please, do us all a favor and get your head out of your ass. For fuck’s sake, stop flushing the time you could have with her down the damn toilet. You never know when that time’s gonna run out.”

  “Gav,” Ian warned.

  “What?” I turned to him. “Am I wrong? If anyone knows what I’m talking about it’s you.”

  “If anyone has their head up their ass, it’s you.” Ben crushed the wilted remains of the flower in his fist.

  “Guys,” Felix tried to placate us. “Maybe now isn’t the best—”

  Ben got up in my face. “That girl that you’re so busy falling over yourself for? She couldn’t even be bothered to get on a plane for you when your fucking sister went missing.”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Yeah, well, neither do you.”

  “That girl you’re always trying to tear down and scare away.” I pointed at her from across the room. “Almost died trying to be with me.”

  Ben’s eyes went wide, but I didn’t bother sticking around to see the rest of their reactions. My time with Dani was limited and I’d be damned if I spent another second trying to defend her or my decision to be with her. If Ben wanted to spend the remainder of his life dancing around the fact that he was in love with a woman he could have, that was his own problem. That and the fact that he probably hadn’t gotten laid in a decade. No wonder he was such a cranky fuck.

  I let my bad mood fall away with every step I took forward, so when my hand grazed the small of Dani’s back I wasn’t feeling anything but happy. “You ready to call it a night?”

  She glanced back over her shoulder. “I’m not all that tired.”

  “Well, that’s good because I have no intention of going to sleep.”

  “Wow, I cannot believe you just said that out loud.” Daphne turned around to glare at me. “Maybe next time, take a little look around the room. Make sure your sister isn’t within earshot before you start blabbing about your sex life.”

  I couldn’t see it, but my face was so hot I knew it was bright red. “Shit, Daph, I’m sorry.”

  “In the future, just a quick look-see. Save us both the mental trauma.” She sashayed away, leaving me with a silently laughing Dani, her smile hidden behind her champagne flute.

  “I’m going to make you pay for that.”

  “Me?” Her eyes went wide. “I didn’t do anything.”

  I pulled her close so I could whisper in her ear. “Yes, you did. You made me so crazy you disabled all my rationality.”

  She set her hand on my stomach. “Well, let’s go then. We need to get you behind closed doors before you do anything else to embarrass yourself.”

  “Keep rubbing your fingers like that and I’m definitely going to embarrass myself.”

  Her laughter echoed all the way down the hallway, not stopping until I shoved the door closed behind us and silenced it with a kiss. My mouth devoured hers, so hungry to taste her, to feel her moan across my lips.

  I pulled at the silk tie on her blouse, the soft material falling apart at my fingers. It puddled on the floor, while her fingernails raked up my chest and back down. Her fingers fumbled over the buttons of my shirt. “I hate these damn shirts.”

  I bit her lower lip. “So rip it off.”

  “No way.” She popped one button free. “There’s no way that’s as easy as it looks in the movies.”

  “Hah.” With a playful shove, she landed on the mattress with a slight bounce. “Watch and learn.” Grabbing my shirt in either hand, I smirked at her, tried to rip it in opposite directions and . . . well, something ripped but my buttons did not go flying.

  She clutched her stomach, laughing again.

  It was a damn good thing I had a wonderful sense of humor. Tugging the shirt off over my head, I crumpled it into a ball and threw it into the corner. For good measure, I made good work of my belt and pants, kicking off my socks before I crawled over to her on the mattress.

  Her eyes drifted down my body, the laughter draining from them so that all that was left was hot, thick desire. I ran my fingertips along the edge of her bra cup, almost, but not quite, at the sensitive tips she’d prefer me to be touching.

  I smirked at her. “Not laughing anymore?”

  Her hand cupped me through my boxer briefs, stroking upward until I was straining against her. She levered herself up so her lips brushed my ear. “Not so smug anymore, are you?” Her teeth sunk into my earlobe.

  Ah, so she wanted to play this game.

  I lowered myself down onto an elbow, nudging her legs apart with my knee. Her skirt slid up her thighs, revealing her decided lack of underwear. “Commando?”

  Now she was the smug one. “My vast collection of lacy underthings didn’t happen to include something that worked with this skirt.”

  My fingertips skimmed up the smooth, creamy skin of her thigh, not stopping till they were grazing her right where she wanted to be touched. I teased her—dragging my thumb down, dropping my mouth to her chest and nudging her bra aside so I could run my tongue over her nipple.

  I waited until she was squirming against me, flushed with pleasure and nowhere near rational before I dropped the bombshell I’d been brewing half the night. “I think I figured it out.”

  Her back arched. “If you needed help you should have just asked. Press a little bit harder and—”

  I did actually press a bit harder, just because she was so damn bossy. “I think I’ve got this situation under control, thanks,” I said drily. “I meant us. I think I’ve got the answer.”

  Her eyes shot open, the haze of pleasure receding slightly. “What are you talking about?”

  “You can’t stay.” I ran my thumb over her clit again, slipping a finger inside her. I wanted her distracted, her mind fuzzy enough that she could only focus on the merits of my plan instead of all the holes it had in it. “But I can come with you.”

  She went still. “What are you talking about?”

  I rocked against her, enjoying the friction. Multitasking was a specialty of mine. My lips found the base of her throat, my hand still doing its magic below her skirt. “Let me come with you, Dani. Let me run with you.”

  She cupped my cheek in her palm. “You’d do that? Give it all up? Your friends? Family? The money? The fame?”

  A shard of pain lodged itself, white hot, underneath my ribcage. I couldn’t care less about the money or fame. The guys, Jules, Bianca, and Rachel—that was harder. But my family, that was the hardest part of all. I could hardly imagine never seeing any of them again. Never talking to them again.

  I kissed the tip of her nose. “I’d have you.”

  “Gav.” She looked away. “It—”

  “Think about it.” The clasp of her bra came undone at my fingers’ insistence. “That’s all I’m asking. Just promise me you’ll think about it.”

  Her foot ran the length of my leg until her toes snagged in the waistband of my boxer briefs. “I promise I will think about it later. But right now . . .” She wrapped her fingers around me, drawing my attention back to the situation at hand.

  Well, she did make a very convincing point. Our mouths crashed together again, frenzied, as I tossed her skirt on the ground and she made quick work of my boxer briefs. She pressed a condom into my hand and the second I rolled it down, I was inside her.

  Both of us gasped at the sensation, coming up for air for the first time in minutes. She wrapped her feet behind my hips, locking them at her ankles, so she could urge me forward. I tweaked her nipple between my fingers, having every intention of taking it slow.

  Dani, not surprisingly, was having none of it.

  Her fingernails raked across my back, teeth sinking into the sensitive skin on my neck. “More, Gavin.” She blew out a breath as I complied. “More, more.”

  Her eyes flew open when I pulled
out of her, but I had no plans of stopping. She wanted more and I was going to give it to her. Pulling her up to me, I switched places with her on the mattress, and then pushed her forward so she was on her hands and knees in front of me. Gently, I fisted my fingers in her hair and tilted her head up until my eyes locked with hers in the mirror above the dresser.

  I entered her slowly, watching her eyes go wide with the pleasure of it. She rocked back to meet my thrust, the impact of our bodies colliding almost jarring. All the while she never looked away, she just stared back, challenging me, urging me on.

  I picked up the pace and she matched my rhythm, meeting me thrust for thrust. Sweat beaded at the base of my throat and slid down my abs. I bent forward to change my angle, kiss her spine, bite her shoulder blade. She shifted her grip on the footboard, angling her hips even further up into the air.

  The feeling was pure bliss, the look in her eyes as hot as the feel of her walls rippling around me. She was close, I could feel it. Just one touch, my fingers brushing against the spot that was begging for attention, and she moaned so loud I was sure the whole house could hear. I tried to bite my lip to keep from doing the same exact thing, but when the feeling hit, starting at the base of my spine and lighting my entire body on fire, I was powerless to stop it.

  Somewhere between my brain melting and me opening my eyes feeling completely boneless, the two of us had collapsed onto the mattress in a sweaty, breathless heap. I ran a finger down the slick skin of her back and she cracked an eye open at me.

  My mouth morphed into a lazy smile. “I think I’m ready to go to sleep now.”

  Chapter 34: Dani

  Firm fingers held my head in place. “Don’t move.”

  “I’m not moving.” I wrinkled my nose.

  “You are moving.” The makeup artist tightened her grip. Any harder and I’d have fingerprint shaped bruises on my forehead for the rest of the day. “Just one . . . more . . . second. There!” She released me and slumped back into her chair. You’d think she’d been pig wrestling instead of just putting on makeup.