A Secret Shared...

by Marion Lennox

  ‘But you can’t!’ Helen was staring at him in stupefaction. ‘A rural doctor...you! Jack, what about your research? Even I know how important it is.’

  ‘I can still do that,’ Jack said evenly. ‘But not as much. As Harry gets older I may be able to pick up the threads of my academic career, but right now that’s not what I’m interested in. I’ll take care of Harry, and nothing else comes before that.

  ‘It’s not like I’m stepping away from my career,’ he told her, quite gently because her shock was genuine and she loved Harry, too. ‘But there’s a community without an oncologist. I treated a kid here the other night...well, you don’t need to know the details but it made me realise that grass-roots medicine is still what it’s all about. I can treat a community. I can stop many, many cancer sufferers having to go to the city for treatment, and Harry and I can get a life in the process.’

  He hugged Harry a bit tighter. ‘And there’s a beach there too and, amazingly, a dolphin sanctuary,’ he added. ‘Not like this, it’s not a treatment centre, but I figure maybe Harry and I can volunteer to clean pools or something. We’re pretty much committed to dolphins now, aren’t we, mate?’

  And Harry tugged back and looked at his uncle. His face was inches from his. The look that passed between man and boy made something inside Kate twist as it had never twisted before.

  ‘We’ll live near dolphins?’ Harry whispered.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Near a beach?’

  ‘Right near a beach if we can manage it. You’ll need to help me hunt for a house.’

  She was crying. Stupid, helpless tears were slipping down her face and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.

  She’d suspected this man of trying to manipulate her to solve his problems. She might have known he’d do no such thing.

  And then she thought...she thought... He didn’t want her to make the problem go away.

  What was happening in her head? Her thoughts were a confused jumble, but through the weird mist she could see a flicker of light. Hope?

  Maybe...just maybe he’d like her to join him while they solved problems together.

  The thought was huge.

  She stood numb while Helen probed Jack’s new information, decided she was pleased and hugged Jack and Harry. This family was sorting itself out, she thought. She had a happy ending here. She sniffed and backed off a little. She had more clients waiting.

  What was between her and Jack...well, it’d have to wait.

  It might not be anything, she conceded. He might indeed have been considering her as the answer to his problems, and then when she’d knocked him back he’d been forced to find another solution.

  Maybe he’d talk to her about it. She hoped...

  She desperately hoped, she conceded, but now wasn’t the time or the place. She was the treating medic. She’d done all she could.

  Jack and Harry were still enveloped in Helen’s weepy hug. Leave them to it, she told herself, but it took sheer, physical effort to turn away. To turn again into Dr Kate, moving from one client to another.

  She did it, though. She sniffed and wished skin suits came with pockets for handkerchiefs. She needed to head for her bungalow before she saw the next client.

  She forced herself to turn away, she took two steps...but suddenly Helen broke away from the group hug. She reached her and put a hand on her shoulder and she had to stop and turn.

  ‘Kate,’ Helen said. ‘C-Cathy?’

  She’d met this woman before, a long time ago. Helen had been one of the university crowd, studying pharmacy before dropping out to start a family. She looked at her now and saw the echoes of a wild child who’d seemingly settled contentedly into motherhood. But Helen was looking worried. Was she about to appeal to her to support her?

  ‘This is between you and Jack and Harry,’ she said gently. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’

  ‘It’s fine. I mean...I don’t really know if it’s fine but he’s prepared to try...I have to support him,’ Helen said. ‘But there’s something else. I was feeling bad, and then when Doug said I should fly over I thought I should, not just to see Harry but to see you, to see you face to face.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I think I’ve blown your cover,’ she said bluntly. ‘When Jack first got here he asked me about you and I made some enquiries. Then the next day he rang again and told me not to ask around. He said you’ve been battered and were hiding. So I hoped nothing would come of the enquiries I’d made. But the night before last we got a phone call. From your Simon. He wanted to know all about you. Only he already knows too much. Someone’s passed on the stuff I was asking about. He knows where you are, and...well, he sounded vicious. He said he couldn’t afford to fly but he’d drive and he’d get here even if it took three days, and he’d make you face up to what you’ve done. I’m so sorry, Cathy. After all you’ve done for us...I’m so sorry, but...he’s coming.’

  ‘Here?’ Kate said, stupidly.

  ‘He made such threats,’ Helen said, and her voice told them more than any words could just how terrible those threats had been. ‘Doug said we should call the police but I thought...he’s driving and it takes three days, so I’d fly. I thought, I’ll take Harry home, get him out of here. Then you can phone the police, or leave, or do whatever you have to. Either way, you still have twenty-four hours before he’s here.’

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  SHE’D BEEN FREE for years. Or maybe she hadn’t.

  The last time she’d seen him Simon had been in court, where she’d outlined the deceits and dishonesty with which he’d destroyed her family and his own. After that she’d had phone calls and emails full of a hate so great it had made her run. She’d changed her name, she’d changed her life, but she knew Simon. She knew wherever she went, his hate would follow.

  His hate was bringing him here.

  She stared at Helen and she felt like the sand was shifting under her feet.

  Simon. Coming here.

  She remembered his response when she’d told him she was divorcing him. ‘Once my wife, always my wife,’ he’d said, and there’d been pure venom behind the words. Venom that had made her skin crawl.

  Always my wife... The words made her feel ill.

  She’d have to run.

  ‘Kate?’ It was Jack. He’d put Harry gently aside, ushering him into Helen’s care, and was there beside her. ‘There’s no need to look like that. We have time to plan to face him. And I will be beside you.’

  Simon. Coming here.

  It was like her world had been knocked off its axis. The fears of years of abuse hadn’t gone. She’d buried them but here they were, bursting from deep, dark recesses, making her feel like a kid again, like she had the first time she’d felt his fist.

  ‘Kate.’ Jack’s hands were on her shoulders. ‘Don’t look like that. It’s okay. This is no threat. You’re not alone. You’re surrounded by friends.’ His hands held her with more strength, forcing her to look at him. ‘I will be beside you,’ he said again. ‘I swear.’

  And somehow her terror faltered. Somehow her world steadied.

  Why?

  Less than a week ago when he’d said he’d keep her safe she’d responded with fear. She hadn’t wanted anyone to keep her safe. She hadn’t trusted. And she’d had enough of hiding. To stay behind someone...to depend on them for her safety...

  But somehow, some way, the promise Jack was making had changed. She reran it in her head, and the terror retreated still further.

  I will be beside you.

  Those weren’t the words of a man who wanted to control her, she thought wildly. Her thoughts were all over the place but they were no longer centred on her ex-husband. They were veering around. They were starting to centre on Jack.

  I will be beside you.

  T
hose weren’t the words of a man who wanted to manipulate her.

  Jack.

  They were all watching her—Helen with fear, Harry with worry, Jack with quiet empathy. Empathy. Where had that word come from? Why was it front and centre? Was it because he’d just told Helen what he planned for his life, and those plans didn’t include her? Or...they didn’t need to include her.

  But she could...she might...

  What if...?

  ‘Together we’ll confront the bastard,’ Jack said, quite mildly as it was no big deal at all. ‘You have enough medical evidence to put him away all over again. It’ll just take courage.’

  And there it was again. Jack was offering to help, to stand beside her but not protect her. To stand with her.

  It’ll just take courage.

  She looked around her, at the gorgeous beach, the dolphins, the kids she was helping. Where was her terror taking her? She’d run from this? She’d let Simon drive her from this?

  And then she turned and looked at Jack again. His gaze met hers, steady, grave and true. He was giving her space, she thought. He was offering her...something, but her future was hers to decide.

  He’d decided his future. He’d planned it without her. He was talking on Harry’s care and he was asking no one to share it with him.

  But she might... She could...

  Her mind was a mass of whirling thoughts, but it was still centring on Jack.

  ‘I don’t know where to start,’ she faltered, and Jack smiled.

  ‘If you’re ready, you can start right now.’

  ‘Ready?’

  ‘To accept help. If you’re ready to give statements, Susie’s dad is a cop. High ranking. He doesn’t look powerful in his sunsuit but he is. A word from us and Simon can be stopped before he even reaches here. If you’re prepared to give statements...’

  Then he paused. He let her thoughts take her where she willed. No pressure, his silence said. The future was hers to choose.

  So many thoughts...

  What had Jack said all those nights ago when he’d seen the scar on her arm? There’s no statute of limitations on assault charges. She thought of the litany of assaults she’d had at Simon’s hands. She thought of the medical evidence she could show.

  It took courage. It was easier to run.

  ‘If you say the word, I will be beside you.’ He said it again gently, and the terror had receded enough for her to hear the vow behind the words. It was as if a blanket had been put around her, a fleece of strength and comfort.

  And love?

  And she thought again of what Jack was prepared to do. Stand aside from his career. Give up his home, his friends, the world he knew, so he could take on the care of one small boy.

  She thought, wildly, that if he could, maybe she could too.

  ‘It’d have to work both ways,’ she whispered, and she thought he wouldn’t hear, but he did. His eyes warmed, gleamed, and his gaze caressed her.

  ‘That could be arranged,’ he said, and he smiled, and Helen stared at them both.

  ‘What are you two on about?’

  ‘Decisions,’ Jack said. ‘Holding each other up. The whole being greater than its parts.’

  ‘You’re not making sense. Shall I call the police?’

  But Kate didn’t want the police. Not yet. Not when such an important sensation was swirling...

  Hope...

  She shook her head. ‘I... Not yet. There’s time.’

  ‘There is,’ Jack said, his eyes still on hers. His smile was a little quizzical, like he hoped he’d guessed right but he wasn’t sure.

  But she was sure. Or she was as sure as she could be.

  She looked around her once again, at the beach, at her dolphins, at this place of healing. Jack would stand by her while she defended herself, she knew. He’d fight for her right to stay here.

  But he was moving to another life. Her mind had been whirling but his smile was settling her. Showing her true north.

  ‘You will be free,’ he said, gently, lovingly? ‘We’ll get details of every injury. We’ll outline the steps you’ve taken to run from him. We’ll also have Helen outline the threats he made to her. Given his history, his past convictions, we can see him in jail for a very long time.’

  ‘G-good.’

  ‘There’s no need to run. You can do whatever you want.’

  Whatever she wanted?

  She wanted Jack. She knew it then, surely and truly.

  She loved this man with all her heart. She looked at him and she knew. All she needed now was the courage to say it. To ask?

  She must. Jack had asked her once to share his life. Now that he was walking away from her life, could he want her still?

  To ask seemed almost outrageous but she watched his face and she knew he wouldn’t ask himself. She’d accused him of wanting a mother for Harry. She’d thrown it back at him. But now...

  ‘I’d like to be with you,’ she said.

  ‘Be...’

  ‘If you’ll have me.’ She hesitated. Was she misreading his touch, the way he was looking at her? She hoped not. With all her heart, she hoped not.

  ‘I figure,’ she said gently, ‘that we both fight for control. I’ve been fighting for control for so long that it’s going to be hard, but if...if you’d like us somehow to merge... If you could consider something like...joint control... If we could face Simon down together... And maybe...maybe if we could make a home for Harry together?’

  There was a gasp from Helen. Harry was staring, open-mouthed, trying to figure out what was going on. Even Maisie seemed stunned, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the way Jack was looking at her.

  ‘Kate...’

  ‘Not if you don’t want,’ she said, hurriedly now, scared that she’d gone too far, read too much into what had happened between them. ‘I mean...in this new life...this new town you’re going to...there’ll be women there. You can get a housekeeper. Find someone else. Build a life. Move on.’

  ‘So I could.’ He sounded dazed.

  ‘So, you see, you don’t need me. It’s just, if there’s a position vacant...if I’d fit... You see, even if I don’t run, I don’t have to stay here. This is a place of healing. I believe...somehow I seem to have healed. Somehow a doctor called Jack has worked his magic. But I don’t depend on you, Jack. I can go anywhere. It’s like the sea gates have been opened. I’m free.’

  ‘So you are.’

  ‘So you don’t have to have me... I mean, if you do want to be alone...’

  ‘Kate, shut up,’ he said, sounding strained. ‘Give me a moment to get things straight.’

  So she shut up. She was having trouble getting things straight herself.

  There was a long silence. Then... ‘Harry?’ Jack asked.

  ‘Yep?’ Harry seemed entranced. Puzzled but entranced.

  ‘Your Aunt Helen hasn’t met Hobble, or the rest of the team. How about you and Maisie go and introduce them?’

  ‘I want to listen,’ Helen said, and then she grinned and held up her hands as if in surrender. ‘Fine,’ she said. ‘I have not the faintest clue what’s going on, or maybe I do but I’m too gobsmacked to say anything. Harry, dolphins.’

  ‘You want to give them some fish?’

  ‘Yes,’ Helen said. ‘But, Jack...do you need anything before I go? For instance, I could lend you an engagement ring...’

  ‘Helen...’

  She threw up her hands again. ‘Okay, just offering. Just loving this. I came over feeling sick. Now I feel...’

  ‘Better?’ Harry asked, anxious now. ‘If you’re sick, this place makes you better.’

  ‘Well, you and Jack would know.’ She grinned, a beautific grin that almost split her face. She took her nephew by the hand and she cl
icked her fingers for the dog. Where Helen ordered, dog would follow.

  Maisie considered her, then dived into Harry’s pile of belongings and grabbed a ball. And headed deliberately to the water.

  ‘Uh-oh,’ Kate said. ‘Should we warn her?’

  ‘Let’s not,’ Jack said, and tugged her closer. ‘Kate.’

  ‘Y-yes?’ She was scared to breathe. How could she make so many assumptions? She’d thrown herself at him. Why? Because she was free?

  It didn’t matter if he didn’t want her, she told herself—but she knew that it did.

  It mattered so much...

  ‘Kate, I’m trying to think this through,’ he said. ‘Bear with me if I falter. Let me think out loud.’

  ‘Okay.’ This was hopeful, she thought. Sort of.

  ‘It seems to me,’ he said, still holding her close, ‘that somehow you seem to be taking control of your life. That’s great. But in the next breath you’re making an offer that takes my breath away. But I need to be honest. Kate, love, if you stay with me, there will be times that I try to be in control. I will get bossy. But, Kate, I’d like you to get bossy back. The way I see it, we’d be headed for something like flexible sea gates. Maybe we can go in and out together.’

  ‘Oh, Jack...’

  ‘But, Kate, this is fast.’ He wasn’t losing contact. The warmth and strength of him was flooding into her, making her feel...extraordinary. ‘Love, even while I’ve been planning Harry’s and my future, a future without you, more than I wanted anything in the world I’ve wanted you. That holds true now. But I won’t hold you. I’m prepared to risk losing you if you want time to make up your mind. No strings attached. Just...loving each other until you decide...how free you want to be.’

  ‘I don’t want to be...that free,’ she managed.

  ‘But what about Harry? He’s my responsibility. Not yours.’

  ‘But if I want that responsibility? If I want the privilege of loving him?’

  His hold on her tightened. She could feel his heartbeat under hers. She could feel the power of him. She could feel the love.

  She held him back, and things were said in that moment with no words said. Vows were made in total silence.