Another Day in Winter

by Shari Low

  Lulu gave her customary shrug and Shauna felt the knot of mortification grow in her gut. She’d just totally embarrassed that poor woman and there was no way of taking it back. She glared at Lulu. It was definitely time to trade her in for a friend with some concept of tact.

  ‘No, no, it’s fine,’ Chrissie assured her. ‘I’m not offended. In fact, I’d probably have avoided you at all costs if you’d come here gushing about how sweet my mother was.’

  ‘But…’ Shauna’s eyes darted from Tom to Chrissie, back to Tom, clearly trying to work out the dynamics. ‘Okay, you’re going to have to explain this to me because I’m not following all the family ties.’

  Chrissie laughed. ‘We definitely don’t have a conventional family tree. Tom and I dated when we were teenagers. We lived next door to each other. Our parents had an affair, and ended up marrying, then moved to Australia.’

  Shauna was fairly sure she had a grasp of it now. Sort of. ‘And now you’re…?’

  ‘Now we’re friends,’ Chrissie answered.

  ‘Ah, okay. That’s nice that you keep in touch. What age is your son?’ she said to Chrissie, trying to win her over with charm and interest so that her new cousin would not delete her from his contacts list the minute she stepped on the plane.

  ‘Our son…’ Chrissie said, smiling as she gestured to Tom. ‘He’s twelve.’

  Shauna was astonished. Clearly she didn’t have a grasp of it after all.

  ‘We’re definitely coming back here. I love it,’ Lulu interjected, revelling in the intrigue.

  ‘Perhaps we can bring Ben down to London to meet you all,’ Chrissie suggested.

  Shauna noticed that Tom beamed when Chrissie said that. There was definitely more to this story. She couldn’t wait to hear about it.

  ‘That would be great. My daughter Beth would love it. She’s eight, but she thinks she’s at least twelve, so they’d get on well.’ She thought some more about what Chrissie and Tom had said about their parents. ‘It’s nice that your parents came back to be with your father when he’s ill though. Especially given their circumstances,’ she offered, trying to take the middle ground, desperate not to rock the boat again. Only… Tom and Chrissie were staring at her again, like she’d just said something significant.

  ‘What circumstances?’ Chrissie asked, with definite meaning.

  ‘Nothing. I just…’ Oh, bollocks. Bollocks. Bollocks. Why did she feel like she’d put her foot in it again? ‘We were in the same lift as them yesterday, before we were formally introduced…’ Lulu began, ignoring Shauna’s panicked glare. ‘And they were arguing with each other because your dad said they didn’t have the money for a hotel. Your mum,’ Lulu said, to Chrissie now, ‘made it clear she wasn’t happy about being here.’

  Shauna slapped her hand to her forehead, despairing that Lulu was stirring things up by being woefully indiscreet.

  ‘What?’ Lulu said, her face a picture of innocence. ‘They were rude to Flora and you know Annie would have wiped the floor with that woman.’

  ‘She’s right,’ Shauna conceded, just as an alarm pinged on her phone. ‘That’s our cue to get to the airport. Which is just as well, because it means Lulu can’t defame anyone else in your family,’ Shauna quipped. ‘Please keep in touch,’ she said. ‘I’m coming back up next week or the week after to see Flora. I’ve left it open because I know she wants to be here as much as possible. You know I’ll be thinking about you all.’ She put the coffee cup in the bin, and hugged Tom and Chrissie, before crossing to Flora. ‘Aunt Flora, Lulu and I have to go now.’

  Flora stood up and hugged them tightly in turn. ‘Thank you so much for coming here, for giving me back George, for giving me all of this. You’ll never know how much this has meant to me. You haven’t even left and I’m so looking forward to seeing you again.’

  While Lulu was saying her goodbyes, Shauna leant down and kissed her uncle on the forehead. ‘Goodbye, Uncle George, I’m so thankful I got to meet you,’ she whispered. ‘Please say hello to my gran when you see her. Tell her how much I miss her. I think you two are going to have a great time.’

  With another hug for Flora, and another wave for Chrissie and Tom, they slipped out of the door.

  In the lift, Shauna exhaled, feeling her lungs deflate.

  ‘This has been, without a doubt, the craziest, most unexpected twenty-four hours of my life,’ she announced truthfully. ‘And I say that as someone who has been your friend for over thirty years and put up with a whole load of crazy and unexpected.’

  ‘Good point,’ Lulu concurred.

  Shauna softened and put her arm around Lulu’s shoulders. ‘Thank you for coming. It wouldn’t have been the same without you. You know how much I love you.’

  ‘I do,’ Lulu chirped. ‘But I’m very aware I just slipped down the pecking order under Flora. Don’t worry, I can live with it.’

  The doors slid open and Shauna talked as they walked. ‘I’m so grateful we found her. I think I loved her on sight. Annie will either be spitting furiously at me for consorting with her former foe or over the moon that we’ve met.’

  ‘I’m pretty sure she’ll be loving it,’ Lulu said, as they reached the taxi, where John was waiting for them. He’d clocked off at midnight last night and then insisted on coming back this morning to pick them up at the hotel. ‘I’ll just take you to the hospital and the airport and I’ll get back for a wee kip afterwards,’ he’d insisted. Shauna was pretty sure he just wanted to see how it all worked out and get the latest developments, but she would be eternally grateful to him for taking such good care of them.

  The roads were quiet, so they made it to Glasgow Airport in under fifteen minutes. Shauna and Lulu hugged him at the drop off point.

  ‘We can’t thank you enough,’ Shauna said. ‘You’ve been fantastic.’

  ‘Aye, that’s the effect I have on women,’ he joked. ‘If the real Lulu had met me back in the day, I’d have swept her off her feet.’ He pulled their bags out of the boot. ‘Now, remember to give me a shout when you come back. And I’ve given your Aunt Flora my number, so she can call on me any time.’

  ‘You’re lovely, you know that?’

  ‘Don’t tell anyone. I’ve got a hard man image to maintain. Right, off you go then.’ He sat until just before they turned out of the car park and gave them one last wave.

  The queue for security held them up for twenty minutes or so, but they still made it through in time to do a dash around the shops for some extra stocking fillers for Beth and then stop for a coffee. They found an empty table in the corner of the café.

  Shauna opened her phone to view another text from Beth. She was standing between a large Goofy and Pluto and the three of them were giving a thumbs up to the camera. She showed the picture to Lulu.

  ‘Bugger. I think I’m losing the “favourite aunt” status. Justin Bieber is definitely going to have to up his security because I think he’s my last hope of reclaiming her.’

  Shauna laughed, then yawned, suddenly exhausted. They’d spent an hour at Flora’s last night, then they’d headed back to the hotel, where they’d been too wired from the events of the day to sleep. They’d ended up sitting up, dissecting the day, until after 4 a.m. Shauna had been stunned when Flora had called her at 6 a.m. to ask them to pick her up on the way to the hospital.

  ‘Are you sure, Aunt Flora? You must be exhausted. You’ve had so little sleep. Don’t you want to wait and go over later?’ she’d asked.

  ‘Shauna, dear, the two men I love most in the world are both lying in a building miles away from me. What’s the point of me sitting in this house alone when I can be with them? I’ll sit with George until visiting hours on Arthur’s ward, then I’ll go back over to George until evening visiting. That poor boy Tom looks exhausted and he’s been handling everything on his own. If I can help him, then I’d like to be there. I’ve got a lot to make up for,’ she’d insisted.

  Shauna had capitulated and picked her up. In truth, she was delighted to ge
t to spend as much time with Flora as possible.

  ‘Seems bizarre now to think that we only landed here twenty-four hours ago with nothing but two letters to help us find my family. Now we know Flora and George, and Tom and Chrissie.’

  ‘And the other two, but I don’t think we’ll be sending them postcards,’ Lulu interjected.

  ‘Nope, think we’ll settle for the nice ones. I’m so glad we came, but I just wish we’d done it sooner, while George was still okay. I’d love to have talked to him and heard all his stories. I don’t want to be morbid, but let’s come back for George’s funeral. I’d like to be there,’ Shauna said.

  ‘Me too,’ Lulu agreed. ‘For Flora, and for Annie, too.’ Lulu stirred her coffee with her finger. ‘Has it helped?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  Lulu sighed. ‘Shauna, since you lost Colm, it’s like you’ve been immersed in a well of sadness. You put on a happy face for Beth, and for us, but you’ve been treading water, barely existing,’ she said, with uncharacteristic insight and tenderness.

  Shauna thought for a moment. ‘I think I’ve just been drifting, feeling disconnected. Annie was always my anchor, that older woman I needed in my life to go to, to ask for advice, to share things with. After she was gone I realised how much I missed having that person there, someone who had been there, done it all, and could steer me through things. When Colm died, the hole I’d fallen into just got even deeper. You were all brilliant, and I love you for every single thing you’ve done to support me. But I would have leaned on Annie too when I lost Colm and she would have been the person who got me through that because she’d been widowed herself. I know that I’ve got you, and Beth, but I’ve just felt such a void in losing them both. It was like I was the only person left in my family and I just felt I didn’t belong to anyone. I’ve no idea how things will turn out with Flora, but I feel so much better that I’ll have her there, that I know her. I know it sounds crazy, but I’m choosing to believe that Annie orchestrated this whole thing to give me the rest of the people I need in my life.’

  ‘I don’t think it was Annie,’ Lulu said.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because there would have been line dancing involved if she was behind it.’

  Two suits at a nearby table looked on disapprovingly as Shauna and Lulu had an outburst of hilarity.

  ‘You’re absolutely right,’ Shauna chucked, before going on. ‘It’s weird, but I was dreading Christmas before I came here. It’s hard without Colm and I try to stay cheery the whole time for Beth, but inside…’

  ‘I know,’ Lulu said, taking her hand.

  ‘But now I feel like we can have things to look forward to. We’ll have Christmas in Richmond as always this year, but maybe next year we can all come up here and celebrate with the Scottish side of the family.’

  ‘Why wait?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Fuck it, why wait? We can speak to Rosie when we get back, but all we were going to do was hang out at my house for three days of Quality Street and competitive board games. Why don’t we just come back up here instead? It can be our new thing.’

  ‘Yes! Oh bugger, Lu, you’re brilliant. You sure you don’t mind?’

  ‘Nope! As long as we can stay for Hogmanay too. I’m so down with men in kilts.’

  ‘Yes, yes, fecking yes!’

  The two blokes glanced over again, appalled that she might be doing a Meg Ryan.

  ‘I’ll find us a house near Flora, I don’t even care what it costs. We can fly back tomorrow or the next day.’ Excitement was raising Shauna’s volume with every word. ‘I’ll get it all sorted as soon as we touch down.’ She reached over and spontaneously hugged Lulu, much to her mock disgust.

  ‘That’s our gate up,’ Shauna said, as she caught sight of the board overhead.

  They both rose, and as Lulu was passing the table of disapproval, she gave them a wink. ‘You know, you two really need to laugh more.’

  On the plane, they settled into their seats. Shauna stared out of the window, at her gran’s home town, and felt such a pull of belonging that she knew, with absolutely no doubt at all, that Annie was there with her.

  ‘Thanks, Gran,’ she whispered. ‘And goodbye Glasgow. It’s been a blast. I’ll be back before you know I’m gone.’

  Thirty-six

  George

  It was the clacking sound that woke me. It took me a minute to pinpoint it, but eventually I recognised it from the far away days of my childhood. Knitting needles. Flora was sitting next to me, no doubt working furiously on her latest creation. My mother used to do the same, every day of her life, before my dad came home from work. He couldn’t be doing with the noise of it, so she put it away the minute he crossed the threshold. I’d always found the rhythm of it comforting, relaxing, and that is the effect it is having on me now.

  ‘My mother knitted all her days,’ Flora is saying, just as Chrissie tells them she’s nipping out to get more tea for everyone.

  ‘Tell me about her,’ Tom replies, and Flora begins to talk of my ma, of our childhood, of the woman that raised us, for good and for bad.

  Tom asks questions, but mostly he listens to tales that I remember so well.

  She is telling them about my da’s ferocious temper, when I hear the door open and I assume it’s Chrissie returning.

  But no.

  ‘He’s still here then?’ says the voice, and don’t think I miss the exasperation in his tone. Norry. And I know he’s talking about me. What an arse, as our Annie would have said.

  ‘Seriously, dad? That’s what you come in with?’ That’s Tom, and he doesn’t sound a bit pleased. The tension in the room is palpable and my nerve endings absorb it all.

  ‘Good timing,’ Flora says, trying to be breezy about it. ‘I was just going to nip downstairs and drop in some things for my Arthur. Bye, George – I’m off to share all this excitement with the other man in my life now, but I’ll be back later.’

  She was always the diplomatic one, our Flora, but I didn’t miss her overtone of distaste. I hear her footsteps fade and the door close behind her.

  ‘You didn’t return my text,’ Norry says, all het up. ‘So I figured he’d gone. I’ve come right over here, not even had a bit of breakfast yet, and it’s been a waste of time.’

  ‘Told you it would be,’ Rosemary moans.

  ‘A waste of time? Are you kidding me?’ Tom snaps, and I can hear that he is seething. ‘Nothing about being here is a waste of time. Here is the only place you should even think about being right now.’

  ‘Just sitting here, waiting? I don’t think so,’ says Rosemary.

  At that the door opens again. ‘I could only get coff—’ Chrissie. And she’s suddenly stopped speaking. There is a pause before she starts again. ‘Hello Rosemary. Norry. Tom, I’m just going to reverse right back out of this door. Let me know when they’ve left.’ I smile inside at the gumption in her voice and words. Good on her.

  ‘What kind of way is that to greet your mother?’ Norry chides her. ‘After not having the decency to keep in touch with her all these years?’

  ‘After everything I did for you,’ Rosemary adds, petulance ripping out of her.

  ‘Don’t you ever…’ Tom begins.

  Chrissie speaks over him though. Good on the lass. ‘It’s okay, Tom,’ she says calmly, before the direction of her voice changes. ‘Norry, don’t you dare reprimand or criticise me. Not that it matters, because please know that I care not a single toss about what you and this woman think of me. And, Mother, after everything you did for me? You’re not worth my time, and I owe you no explanation, but here’s what I’ll give you. When I was eighteen years old and I told you I was pregnant, you cut me off. Here’s what happened next. I had a beautiful boy, I had a happy life, and now Tom and I are finally – with absolutely no thanks to your devious, back-stabbing behaviour – going to bring him up together. I know now what a mother is, and you are far from fulfilling the criteria. So don’t speak to me, don’t lectur
e me, don’t try to rewrite history, for you are nothing to me and my son, and that will never change.’

  ‘You f—’ Norry begins.

  There is a shuffle – my Tom getting to his feet I think. Dear God, I want to open my eyes and see this.

  ‘Say it, Dad. Go on, say it. Because I can’t tell you how much I want you to give me an excuse to knock you out. And truthfully, I think Grandad would approve.’

  Aye, I would, son.

  There is a pause. Norry must have backed down. Bullies always do.

  ‘Let me lay this out for you,’ Tom says. ‘I hoped you were coming back here to make your peace and pay your respects to Grandad. If that’s true, Chrissie and I will leave for now and let you have a few hours with him today. But somehow I don’t think that’s the case here. I think you’ve come back to make sure you benefit from Grandad’s estate. Let me tell you right now, there isn’t one. Nothing. Grandad signed everything over to me many years ago and now that will all go to my son. I won’t be taking a penny of it and neither will you.’

  ‘That’s not bloody right! I’ll be getting a lawyer…’ Norry is spitting his words out and I bet his face is purple. Bloody serves him right.

  ‘Please do. He’ll tell you there’s not a thing you can change, because everything was done properly and so long ago that there’s no way to challenge it. But you feel free, if you want to waste your money on legal bills – or don’t you have any money left?’

  Tom has gone right to the crux of it.

  ‘That’s it, isn’t it? You’ve blown it all.’

  ‘There was an investment that went wrong, and well…’

  Rosemary pipes in, all spit and arrogance. ‘You don’t need to explain yourself to him, Norry. George’s money should be yours and we’ll be fighting for it.’

  Go on, Tom – don’t you dare let her away with that.