His Shadowed Heart ((Books We Love Regency Romance))

by Hazel Statham

  Seeing a look of uncertainty flit across her countenance he quickly added, “As I am to be allowed the chance to make amends, it would be unkind of you to refuse.”

  “Then I will not, sir. If you think Her Ladyship would not disapprove, I too would have pleasure in renewing our acquaintance.

  Without hesitation, Lady Victoria welcomed Miss Northam into their group and as the evening progressed some of her shyness disappeared. She had scarcely returned from being led out by Lord Stanton when Mr. Dent, not wishing to be thought lacking in his attentions, approached with the request that she should stand up with him for the cotillion.

  “I do believe the child would take if she was introduced into society,” Lady Victoria confided to her brother, watching their protégée’s progress with an indulgent eye. “She has a freshness about her.”

  The earl also studied the couple’s progress through the set. “She would need to overcome her shyness, though she may still feel herself shadowed by the circumstances of her father’s death. Society does not forget these matters so easily.”

  Victoria made a sound of exasperation. “It is insupportable that she should be forced to bear the consequences of his actions. She is a sweet girl and perhaps if society sees that I acknowledge her, they will be more charitable.”

  The earl raised a sardonic brow. “I wouldn’t place too much reliance on their charity. Although your approval can only add to her consequence, when it has a mind to, society can prove very cruel. The tabbies are reluctant to relinquish so noteworthy a scandal as a suicide, and if the child’s feelings are trampled in the process, so much the better. It only adds to their enjoyment. They are unrelenting in their condemnation of those less fortunate than themselves.”

  “You are very cynical this evening,” Her Ladyship said, turning sharply toward him.

  His face appeared set, with harsh lines about his mouth. “It’s not surprising when one has been forced to live by society’s dictates.”

  Victoria appeared perplexed. “You thoroughly confuse me, Richard—I don’t understand your meaning.”

  “That is as well, my dear sister. Perhaps, as you say, I have become too cynical in my way of thinking. Now we must change the subject. Unless I am much mistaken, the dance is coming to its conclusion and Miss Northam will be with us directly. It would not do that she should find us in a contentious mood.”

  Flushed with the exertions of the dance, Miss Northam rejoined the party, Mr. Dent, well satisfied with his partner, pausing only long enough to bow briefly before returning to his companions.

  “I do believe you are positively glowing, my dear,” Her Ladyship said, smiling. “Does Mr. Dent meet with your approval?”

  “To tell truth I find him quite amusing,” Miss Northam replied in a confiding manner, unable to keep the amusement from her voice.

  The earl raised a quizzing brow. “I had not thought my cousin capable of witty repartee.”

  Unable to suppress a chuckle, Miss Northam blushed at her own daring. “Though it may be very cruel of me to say, sir, it was not his repartee that amused me, rather his energetic mode of dancing.”

  The earl gave a bark of laughter. “I dread to think what opinion you have on my performance, my girl. Dent is hailed as an exponent of the art.”

  “If he is, then it is not in evidence, my lord,” she said, a mischievous light in her eyes, then sobering slightly, “as for you, sir—I cannot thank you enough for your great kindness to me.”

  An unfathomable look flitted across his countenance before he replied in the same rallying tones, “I am sure you will think me less than kind before the evening is through, for I do believe we should take to the floor once more.” He extended his hand in a grand gesture and without hesitating she placed hers into it.

  Seeing them depart to join the set, Lady Victoria turned to her husband who had been deep in conversation with one of his cronies. “I do believe Richard finds the chit amusing,” she said, watching the couple’s progress about the room. “Perhaps now that he feels more relaxed in company, he will be inclined to go about more. This evening has served him well. I am delighted with the outcome.”

  *****

  Lady Victoria was not the only one delighted with the evening’s events. Caroline, when she finally retired as the first fingers of dawn crept around the heavy curtains in her bedchamber, covertly relived memories of the evening, each one containing the earl. He had overwhelmed her. Such consideration she had not looked to receive from a man she had found to be so aloof at their last meeting. Small kindnesses he had shown her, kindnesses that would not perhaps be worthy of notice to anyone less alone, were priceless to her and she hugged their memory. His whole demeanor took on a new meaning and she found her heart warming toward him. Thoughts of being removed from his sphere proved most unwelcome, but she knew that even if she were allowed to remain in London, he moved in circles that were closed to her.

  Dawn arrived and was edging toward morning before she finally found her rest and in her dreams, she waltzed forever in his arms.

  Chapter Three

  Carefully guiding his team through the customary throng that inhabited Piccadilly, the earl drove his curricle at a steady pace, ever mindful of the pedestrians who found it necessary to cross and re-cross the street. However, at sight of a familiar face, he brought the vehicle to a sudden halt.

  His groom went immediately to the horses’ heads and handing him the reins he leapt nimbly down into the roadway and strode into the path of Miss Northam who was hurrying along the pavement.

  “My lord,” she expostulated, dropping the books she held in her arms. “You startled me.”

  “You must forgive me, my dear,” he said, retrieving the ill-used articles and tucking them neatly beneath his arm. “It wasn’t my intention to take you by surprise, merely to renew our acquaintance.”

  Miss Northam appeared flustered at the encounter and held out her hands for the books but the earl kept them safely stowed away. “May I enquire where you are going in such a hurry,” he asked, a half smile lurking about his lips. “Perhaps you will allow me to walk a little way with you?”

  She smiled shyly. “I am on my way to return the books to Hookham’s Library. What possible interest could such an errand be to you, sir?”

  “I assure you, ’tis not the errand but the company that interests me.”

  “But what of your carriage? Won’t your horses become impatient?”

  His Lordship was not to be distracted from his cause. “Are you so set on visiting Hookham’s today? Would not the errand wait until the morrow? Could I perhaps persuade you to take a drive in Hyde Park with me instead? We will be mindful of the proprieties. Everything will appear as it should.”

  So unexpected was the invitation that it took Miss Northam quite off guard, but nonetheless she smiled and replied, “I would very much like that, sir. The books can certainly wait. It’s just that, as I am to return to my aunt’s home in a few days, I thought I should return them. I do believe tomorrow will serve equally as well. It’s very kind of you to ask me.”

  The earl appeared pleased by her acceptance of his invitation. “I ask you to drive with me because I want your company, you silly girl, certainly not to be kind. Now up with you.” He assisted her into the vehicle and stowing the books beneath the seat; he retrieved the reins from his groom and took his place beside her. The groom scrambled back onto his perch, folding his arms and watching with great pride as his master, a most notable whip, tooled the curricle through the press of vehicles and toward the park.

  From beneath lowered lashes, Caroline watched her companion, conscious of his every movement. His sudden appearance at the roadside had thrown her into complete confusion. She had not expected to ever see him again, let alone be invited into his company, and the unexpected turn of events had left her breathless. However, she allowed herself the joy of this last meeting, for she knew that such an opportunity would not be repeated.

  Hyde Park, although it was
not yet the fashionable hour of five to six, still thronged with other like-minded souls and their progress around its perimeter was necessarily slow. On numerous occasions the earl was obliged to slow his team to acknowledge acquaintances, each one secretly curious as to whom his fair companion might be.

  “You say you are to return to your aunt?” he enquired, keeping his attention on his wheeler who had taken exception to a small dog that would insist upon snapping at its heels. A well-aimed hoof sent the dog hurtling after its owner and the horse settled down once more.

  Miss Northam confined her gaze to her hands in her lap. In her enjoyment of the drive and his company, she had quite forgotten that she was shortly to leave London. “Diana will have no further need of me when she returns to the country in a few days, therefore, I must return to my aunt.”

  He instantly recognized the note of regret in her voice. “You don’t seem very enthusiastic at the prospect?”

  “Nor am I. I shall miss Diana and all the family. I will be sorry to leave, for I have truly enjoyed my time with them. My aunt’s home will appear very dull in comparison.”

  “You do not like it there?”

  “She is old and does not receive company—indeed, she has no liking for it and only allows me to live there out of a feeling of duty to my father. She looks on me as a burden.” After a moment’s pause she added, “I must thank you for your kindness, sir, it is something I will not forget.”

  He raised his brows in surprise. “My kindness? I assure you Miss Northam, whatever you perceived as my kindness was merely selfishness. I do nothing unless it pleases me.”

  “The occasion of the ball was not selfishness, sir, you thought to draw me out, and I am grateful, truly grateful. If you had not invited me to join your company, it would have been a very different evening.

  He kept his eyes on his team whilst negotiating a junction where two paths converged and said, “This talk of gratitude it totally unnecessary. I enjoyed the evening more than I have enjoyed anything for a very long time. Your company took me out of the melancholy to which I have fallen prey.”

  “Indeed, sir, your wife, I have heard….”

  His jaw tightened. “If you don’t mind, Miss Northam, we will not discuss my wife.” After a moment’s pause he said more kindly, “Forgive me, I meant not to snap at you but there are still aspects of my life I have no desire to discuss.”

  She dropped her eyes, dismayed that she should have offended him. “I understand, sir.”

  He reached out to pat her hand. “Now I have appeared churlish again and it was not my intent. As you see, my manners have suffered greatly and it will not do, else I will be forever begging your pardon.”

  “There is no need, sir, for I most truly do understand. I am not unaware of the circumstances.”

  “Nonetheless, it is no excuse, and I should not take advantage of your empathetic nature.”

  Equilibrium once more restored, they drove for a short while in silence until quite unexpectedly the earl asked, “Could I persuade you to take tea at Waverly House? Lady Victoria will be delighted to see you and you can renew your acquaintance with Julia?”

  Once again, he took Caroline quite by surprise and it showed in the slight flush that mounted her cheek. She had not expected that he would seek her out, let alone, issue invitations. It was however with a slight note of regret in her voice that she replied, “I would like that above all else, but Diana will be expecting me.”

  He smiled, urging his horses toward the exit at a trot. “That is no problem. My man will deliver a message, and the matter will be settled.”

  *****

  Lady Victoria and Julia were indeed delighted with their visitor, both instantly claiming her attention whilst the earl, drinking his tea, indulgently surveyed the happy scene. His sister was surprised that he graced them with his presence as he usually preferred to avoid such domestic moments, but she saw that he was in a magnanimous mood and appeared very much at ease. In turn, as the afternoon progressed, she saw that Miss Northam appeared much more comfortable and eager to have her share of the conversation. Indeed, at times she became quite animated when asked her opinion on a matter, proving that behind her shyness there lurked a lively mind if she were but allowed to give it full rein.

  On several occasions, much to her surprise, she noticed her brother watching their visitor with an indefinable expression on his face and she wondered at its origins.

  However, in the enjoyment of the visit, she put it to the back of her mind, content that he chose to remain.

  As it neared time for Julia to return to the nursery, Miss Northam stated her intention of leaving and the earl ordered his carriage, accompanying her into the hall.

  “I will say goodbye now, sir,” she said, offering her hand. “As I am to return to the country so soon, I may not see you again, and I wouldn’t wish to go without making my farewells.”

  He appeared to be on the point of saying something then to change his mind and instead took her hand in both of his and held it for a moment. “It is a great pity that you are to leave so soon,” he eventually said. “Have you any thoughts for the future? Do you intend to stay with your aunt?”

  “I have no alternative, sir. As you must know, I am without home or fortune, so I must accept whatever benevolence is offered to me, though I will not complain. I still fare better than many in my situation and won’t be downcast.”

  He briefly studied her upturned face. “You are in an unenviable position, my dear, one brought about by no fault of your own, but I believe you to be resourceful. You are very young and there is a shyness about you, but your spirit will certainly not allow you to be downcast. I wish you well.” He brought her fingers to his lips in the briefest salute before escorting her to the waiting carriage.

  As the chaise door closed behind her and she waved a fluttering hand in farewell, he turned and returning to the house, went immediately into the library.

  It was the hall clock chiming an advanced hour that finally brought an end to his deliberations and reminded him that he must change for the evening meal. Putting aside his glass, he rose from the hearthside chair. No nearer reaching a decision than he had been upon entering the room, he cast his wife’s portrait one final glance, before retiring to his apartments.

  *****

  The earl rose unfashionably early the following morning, thoroughly disconcerting his staff who looked to see him at his usual hour and who now hurried to do his bidding. He had reached an important decision and in so doing had rendered repose impossible.

  Although he ordered breakfast, he merely toyed with the meal, eventually pushing away his plate impatiently. Having once decided on his course, nothing would do but that it should be carried out immediately, delay only serving to add to his agitation.

  The decision had not come easily. Much soul searching had preceded its arrival, and he had not sought his bedchamber until the previous evening had been well advanced, and then only to pace the confines of his apartment until eventually he was forced to attempt sleep. When his secretary, John Eaton, appeared to begin his daily duties, he was surprised to find his employer already awaiting him in his office.

  “My lord, am I late?” he asked in some perplexity, taking out his pocket watch and checking the time.

  “’Tis I who am early,” stated the earl. “Don’t look so disconcerted, John—I won’t trespass in your domain over long. I wish only to inform you that there is a possibility that I may be removing to Lordings in the not too distant future and, if all goes well with my errand this morning, I may have a confidential task for you.”

  “I can assure you, sir, that you can rely on my discretion with whatever task you may wish to entrust to me. Am I to start the arrangements for the journey to Lordings immediately or await your notice?”

  “I will let you have the details later, when I return. Until then, don’t commit me to any engagements.”

  “Not even the House, sir?”

  “Definitely no
t the House. I will be in no mind to be making speeches no matter the topic.”

  “But, sir, there is the debate on….”

  “Whatever the debate it can go to the devil,” His Lordship stated, good-humoredly. “At this precise moment in time, politics are the furthest thing from my mind. I have far more important matters to contemplate.”

  “As you wish, my lord, though I had prepared the speech you wished to offer at the next sitting.”

  “I thank you for your promptness, but if all goes well, I will not be in the city when the topic is raised.

  “Very well, sir,” said Eaton with a sigh of resignation. “Perhaps with some modification we can use it at a later date.”

  “Quite probably,” the earl commented. “I have every faith in your ability to amend it.” Taking his leave, he repaired to his apartment intent on preparing for his outing.

  He brushed aside his valet’s would-be ministrations, preferring instead to attend to his own needs, leaving this worthy individual to hover uncertainly in the hope that at least he may be of some service in helping with His Lordship’s Hessians.

  The earl pushed a diamond pin into the intricate folds of his neck-cloth and, standing back to examine the effect, proclaimed himself satisfied with the results. Accepting his hat and cane, he made his way down to the hallway and out into the waiting coach, directing his groom to drive to Lord Marchant’s home.

  *****

  “My dear Richard, what a pleasant surprise,” Lady Diana cried, coming to meet him with hand outstretched when he was issued into her presence.

  He took her hand and raised it to his lips. “’Pon faith, Diana, motherhood certainly suits you,” he said, smiling. “You positively glow, and at such an early hour.”