His Shadowed Heart ((Books We Love Regency Romance))

by Hazel Statham

  Smiling up at him, she appeared well satisfied with his complements. “Yes, it is rather early, especially to be making courtesy calls. What is it that brings you here at such an unfashionable hour?”

  “I come on a selfish errand, my dear, though one I believe of benefit to your cousin. Do I have your permission to speak to her?”

  Her Ladyship appeared perplexed but replied, “Of course you may speak to her, I will send for her directly.”

  “Alone?” the earl queried.

  “Of a certainty, Richard, but what is the mystery? Come now, tell me. You have whetted my appetite!”

  “There is no mystery involved, but I believe I must speak to Miss Northam before I can reveal my purpose. It would not do that I should make you privy to my intentions before I have spoken to her.”

  She rang for a footman and asked him to direct Miss Northam to the morning room immediately, adding, “I believe you will find her in the nursery, the children were asking for her just a short while ago.”

  “I will leave you then, Richard,” she said, preparing to make her exit, “but you must promise to tell me all before you leave. I will not have it otherwise.”

  He gave no answer, but proffered a short bow. He would make no promises at this point, too much was at stake.

  After what seemed an eternity, he heard the latch and turned to greet Miss Northam as she somewhat breathlessly entered the room. She had obviously been on the point of departure for she wore a walking dress and carried a parasol in her hand.

  “You must forgive me for keeping you waiting, my lord,” she said, appearing a little breathless. “I was just about to accompany the children to the park. They became fretful and I thought perhaps an outing would satisfy them.”

  He stood looking at her for a moment and with an apprehensive look she prompted, “You wished to speak to me, sir?”

  “Exactly,” he replied, starting a little as if returning from a moment of thought. Then smiling, “My dear Miss Northam—Caroline, won’t you be seated, it would be easier to say what I have come to say if you did not appeared prepared for instant flight. The matter is not so serious—at least I hope it won’t appear so.”

  Seating herself on the chaise, she folded her hands calmly in her lap and waited patiently for him to begin. She had no idea what he should want of her and, completely nonplussed, her eyes never wavered from his face.

  “How set are you on returning to your aunt’s?” he asked, standing before her, hands held behind his back.

  “That is a strange question, sir, as I have no alternative,” she replied, puzzled.

  “Ah, but you do have an alternative, my dear. You may either return to your aunt, or, if it finds favor with you, accept the role I offer you.”

  A slight frown puckered her brow. “You require a governess for Julia? Surely she is too young to have need of a governess?”

  “I am asking you to marry me, you silly girl,” he chided gently, seating himself beside her and taking her hand. “The thought came to me yesterday and would not be put aside and I believe it would solve our respective problems quite thoroughly. For my part, it will relieve me of my most estimable sister’s endeavors to present me with a bride, and for yourself, it will provide you with a home and a deal of stability. I have seen that you are in some degree becoming attached to Julia and she to you, she will be all the better for the guidance of a mother. As for myself, I shall have a companion, someone to share the daily happenings of my life. Indeed, my dear, I believe we would do famously together. Neither need interfere with the other’s arrangings, and if we are discreet, we may order our own lives admirably. Perhaps, we may even achieve a certain degree of contentment. We would be no better or worse than many other couples of our acquaintance.”

  He had taken her so completely off guard that she sat silently regarding him, eyes wide, unable to give a reply.

  “Come, what do you say?” he asked in rallying tones. “Give me my answer now and arrangements will be made. There is no need for delay. An early conclusion to the affair is what is needed.”

  Still she gave him no answer.

  Thinking he understood her reluctance, he said quietly, “You need not fear the intimate side of marriage, my dear. I will not force my person upon you. It will be a marriage in name only.”

  Color suffused her cheeks as his meaning took hold, but still, in her bewilderment, she could find no answer.

  He took her confusion as rejection. “You must forgive me Miss Northam,” he said, dropping his eyes and relinquishing her hand. “It is obvious my suggestion does not find favor with you. In my vanity, I had hoped you would not find the thought of marriage to me and the advantages it would offer totally abhorrent. Obviously I was wrong.”

  Finally, she found command of her voice. “It isn’t,” she said breathlessly. “Oh, it isn’t. You merely took me by surprise.” He had spoken no words of love but this did not seem strange to her, the fact that she had fallen in love with him on the evening of the ball mattered not. The fact that what he was offering was a marriage of convenience mattered not, and the thought that she was to share his life proved too much of a temptation to be ignored.

  “I will marry you, sir.”

  “Excellent! Excellent!” he replied, smiling and once more capturing her hands, but this time he took them to his lips. “We will be married in the family chapel at Lordings as soon as you are able to make your arrangements. You will have need of bride’s clothes and I will arrange with my secretary to supply you with whatever funds you require.”

  She smiled shyly. “You have thought of everything, sir.”

  “Richard, my dear, you must call me Richard. There is no need now for formality.”

  “Richard,” she repeated, as if testing it for the first time and smiled as it sprang so readily to her lips.

  *****

  “Nineteen makes a poor mate for thirty-four, Richard,” Lady Victoria snapped, when he broke the news of his betrothal to her later that day. “There are too many years between you.”

  “Save your breath dear sister,” the earl replied, the hardness of his tone conveying his indifference to her opinion. “The arrangements are made and a special license secured. We go to Lordings at the end of the week. We will deal well enough together. Was it not your wish that I should wed?”

  “Are you in love with the child?”

  “’Pon faith, will nothing satisfy you? I married once for love—I shall not do so again. One such marriage was quite sufficient. I have become reconciled to the fact that I shall not succumb to such emotions again. Indeed, I would not welcome them. I am well past the age of infatuation and would not wish the sentiments it brings. Does that answer your question?”

  “I don’t like this, Richard,” she replied, frowning heavily. “What of the child? What of her feelings in this matter? Surely, she deserves more than you are prepared to give? I cannot condone this marriage.”

  Casting her a look of indifference he rose to leave the room. “It is of no matter. I was not looking for your approbation. I was but merely making you aware of my intentions which, although they may not meet with you approval, are none the less set in stone.”

  Chapter Four

  “You are now the mistress of Lordings, my dear,” the earl said, smiling and raising his glass in a silent toast to his new wife as they sat alone over the remnants of the bridal supper. Caroline still wore the gown of ivory satin overlaid with knots of silver Belgian lace that she had worn for their wedding, and though the gown was the height of fashion, it did naught but accentuate her youth and innocence. At first sight of his young bride that morning, he had been overwhelmed by her naive beauty and several times throughout the day he had found himself viewing her anew. Victoria and her family had been the only wedding guests to grace the day and even they had deserted the couple for their journey home.

  Caroline knew not what was expected of her. She too had cast covert glances at her husband as the day progressed, and still she c
ould not believe that she was now an irrefutable part of his life. Now, forsaking the formality of the large dining room, they sat over an intimate supper set in the small salon.

  “You may order the house as you please,” said the earl, attempting to put his new wife at ease. “Indeed, whatever refurbishment you think necessary you are at liberty to arrange. The only request I make of you is that you leave the library and my office unmolested, they are my only retreat.” Then almost as an afterthought he added, “There are also certain rooms in the east wing that are no longer used and need not be redecorated. Upon reflection, perhaps it would be easiest if you left the east wing completely alone.”

  Caroline smiled at his thought that she would wish to make changes to his beautiful home. “I have no desire whatsoever to alter anything in the house. It is so very elegant and I have little knowledge of what would suit. I would change nothing.”

  “Not even the hangings?” He chuckled and raised his brow. “Now, this is very un-wifely. Most new brides indulge in a fervor of refurbishment. I have heard tales where husbands have been banished to their clubs for fear they should interfere with their wife’s orderings.”

  “You may have no fear on that head, sir. I would make no decisions without your full approval. Therefore you would need to remain.”

  He appeared to study her for a moment, a profound look in his eyes but when she looked at him enquiringly, he turned to contemplating the glass of wine before him. “You are very young, my dear,” he said in a quiet tone. “I hope I haven’t thrust too heavy a responsibility on your shoulders. My reasons for marriage were entirely selfish and over the past few days, I have wondered whether I have treated you fairly. Are you entirely satisfied with the arrangement?”

  “Entirely, sir,” she replied. “I would not have agreed to marry you had it been otherwise. I too, in my turn, have been selfish.” She would not tell him the extent of her selfishness, how even after so short an acquaintance, the thought of being separated from him had affected her so. His proposal had presented the reprieve for which she had not dared hope. Together they had gone to her aunt and informed her of their intention of marrying, being not at all surprise at her disinterest in the subject, and had returned to London with a clear conscience, knowing they had not deprived her of a companion.

  “Did you mind so very much not having the pomp and ceremony of a London wedding?” he continued, oblivious of her musings. “You must understand that I had that kind of wedding before and … well….” No, he would not think of Elizabeth at this moment, he could not, it was not right!

  “I much preferred the simple ceremony we had here in the chapel,” she replied, smiling shyly at the memory of the intimate service. “I don’t care for a great number of people. They unnerve me.”

  “You will become more used to company as time goes on,” he assured, reaching across the table and patting her hand absentmindedly. The unbidden thoughts of Elizabeth had marred the intimacy of the moment, bringing, as they always did, feelings of torment.

  Caroline saw the look of withdrawal that came over his face, and her heart sank.

  Taking his new wife completely by surprise he sat back almost nonchalantly in his chair, his eyes taking on a cold look and his tone altering. “It has been a long and tiring day for you, my dear. The hour is late. Pray don’t let me keep you from your repose.”

  Seeing this as a dismissal from his company, Caroline rose from the table in stunned silence. He too rose, making a short, formal bow before resuming his seat. Dropping his eyes before her wounded gaze, he confined his attention to refilling his glass from the decanter that stood at his elbow, not wishing to see the effect his words had had on her.

  “I will wish you good night then, sir,” she said in a small voice.

  Still not raising his eyes, he nodded briefly in response—no more.

  Bewildered, she turned and hastened from the room, leaving him to sit alone over his wine in the intimacy of the small salon.

  *****

  Throwing herself onto her bed, Caroline cried as if her heart was breaking. She had not known what to expect, but this sudden cold indifference proved harder to bear than she had thought possible.

  There had existed a certain degree of cordiality between them during the time between the proposal and the marriage. This she had come to expect, even take pleasure in. She could not comprehend what had prompted him to change so abruptly. Had it been something she had inadvertently said? She went over the conversation in her mind but could find nothing that she could suspect of having offended him.

  Eventually, she undressed and got into the large canopied bed, but repose would not come and she lay awake listening to the noises of the house. She heard a distant clock chiming the hour of one and saw the light of a candle pass beneath her door. The sound of the door to the adjoining room closing told her that her husband had also retired. She knew the connecting door would not open.

  *****

  Her bedchamber door being unceremoniously thrust open and a small whirlwind depositing herself onto the bed awoke Caroline the following morning. In the confusion of the moment, she did not see the tall dark figure of the earl following in his daughter’s wake.

  She hugged Julia to her and allowed her to scramble unchallenged under the covers beside her, delighted that the child would seek her out.

  “I see my daughter does not stand on ceremony with you, my dear,” the earl said in a pleasant tone.

  She started at the sound of his voice, noticing him for the first time. He was dressed for riding and standing in the doorway, he appeared more imposing than ever.

  He noticed her reserve at his appearance and felt a pang of guilt. “Do you ride?” he asked. He came further into the room and closed the door behind him against the curious gaze of my lady’s maid. “You must forgive me, my dear, but even though we have married, there is still much I need to learn about you. Do you care to ride?”

  “Yes, sir,” replied Caroline, grateful for the distraction. “Though I have not ridden since I lived with my father.”

  “Have you a habit?”

  “Yes, but ’tis terribly out of fashion.”

  “Then that will do for today, you may order what you will at a later time. I asked my agent to procure a mount for you and I believe he has found a suitable mare. Would you give me the pleasure of riding out with me this morning and perhaps I can show you over the estate?”

  She nodded her agreement, unable to find the words, so relieved was she at his change of mood.

  “Good, then I will await you in the breakfast room and when you are nourished we can commence our ride.”

  “Can I come?” asked a little voice from beneath the bedclothes.

  “Of course you can imp, when you are a little more grown,” he replied, chuckling. “Until then, be satisfied with your rocking horse. Now out with you and let your new mamma get dressed. I am impatient to show her over her new domain.”

  “I stay,” declared the little voice once more, still burrowing in the warmth of the bed.

  He went to retrieve her but Caroline pleaded her cause. “Let her stay. Unless you have any objection, I would keep her with me.”

  He smiled indulgently and made for the door. “If she provokes you, call for her nurse. Now do not tarry, I’m not known for my patience.”

  *****

  The Waverly estate was extensive, its boundaries stretching for mile upon mile of fertile land and they drew rein atop a hill that overlooked the house and its grounds.

  “What think you of your new home?” the earl asked, turning in the saddle to face his young bride. “Does it please you?”

  “Of a certainty, sir, how could it not?” Caroline replied, smiling her approbation. “It is magnificent. Now I know why you show such evident pride in it.”

  “Is it so obvious?” he queried. “Yes, I suppose it must be! You are right—I am proud of it, very proud and I’m glad it finds favor in your eyes and hope you will come to love it as do
I.”

  “I’m sure that I shall, though at the moment it overawes me.”

  “It need not, my dear. There is nothing here to intimidate you.”

  Only Elizabeth, she thought, for she had felt that everyone she met was comparing her to his previous wife. The servants even feeling the need to prefix their replies to her requests with “Her Ladyship always….” Now I am being foolish, she thought. I have scarce been in the house for three days, arriving on the eve of my wedding, what am I to expect. It will take time for everyone to become accustomed to my way of things. I should not be so easily daunted. Indeed, if I perceive her influence all about me it is merely in my own imaginings, I will not allow myself to be disheartened.

  “Would you care to ride over to the lake?” the earl asked, breaking in on her reverie. They turned their horses away from their contemplation of the house and cantered down to a small valley wherein the lake reposed, its cool waters reflecting the abundant foliage that covered its banks.

  *****

  As they rode back to Lordings, Caroline viewed the house as it appeared through the framework of trees and thought, this is mine. I am part of it now, part of his life, and she felt a sense of happiness in this reflection, a sense of belonging at last. What did it matter that at this moment in time she was treated more as a visitor than its mistress, the staff would become used to her and in time she would become Her Ladyship and they would grow accustomed to her ways. On such a lovely day as this, anything seemed possible.

  When they halted at the foot of the stone steps leading to the Palladian front and impressive oak doors, the earl dismounted and assisted his wife down from the mare’s back. Leaving the horses in the groom’s care, he drew her hand through his arm and they mounted the steps and entered the hallway together. Secretly examining his profile she thought he seemed very much at ease, far more relaxed than she had ever seen him.