His Shadowed Heart ((Books We Love Regency Romance))

by Hazel Statham

  Finding it difficult to resist Christina’s insistence, in some confusion, Caroline reluctantly allowed herself to be handed into the barouche. As they drove away at a brisk trot, she caught only the briefest glimpse of her cousin’s anxious countenance.

  *****

  “You must allow me to congratulate you on the event of your marriage, my dear,” smiled Lady Christina, patting Caroline’s hand as it rested in her lap. “Though I must admit it came as somewhat of a surprise. I had not expected Waverly to marry again. Quite a turnabout.”

  Unable to find a reply, Caroline smiled abstractedly at her companion. Having no desire to prolong the acquaintance, she wondered how soon she could politely affect her leave-taking without causing offence.

  “You are very quiet?” queried Christina.

  “I am somewhat at a loss, my lady,” replied Caroline. “I was wondering how you came to know my husband. Are you a close family friend?”

  “We are certainly close, but I am no family friend,” mocked Christina. “Rather, shall we say that we enjoy each other’s company? There is an understanding between us and I am sure even you must be aware of its nature.”

  Uncertain of her meaning Caroline frowned and asked with some perplexity, “Are you saying that you are…?”

  “Exactly, my dear—you have guessed it—I am his mistress. What a little simpleton you are, Lady Waverly, one wonders at his motives in marrying you. One would suspect he finds you exceedingly dull,” and Christina laughed cruelly at the look of horror that crossed her companion’s pale countenance. “You were not aware that he had a mistress, were you?” she continued, amusement heavy in her voice. “My existence, and his avowed affection for me, must come as quite a shock to you.”

  “Yes, quite a shock,” replied Caroline rallying. “Though I am obliged to you for pointing it out to me. I shall now know whom to avoid in the future. It is not my wish to be seen in such company. My husband is mindful of my reputation and would not approve. If you would be so good as to ask your man to stop, I will ensure that I do not create a scandal. That, he would not like.”

  *****

  Instead of returning home, Lady Diana had gone directly to Waverly House. Requesting an immediate interview with His Lordship, she was informed that he was in the library to whence she repaired without awaiting an introduction.

  “Damnation,” swore the earl forcibly, rounding his desk to stand before her. The news of the encounter proved far more disturbing than he thought possible and the violence of his feelings took him completely off guard. Thoughts of what surely must be Caroline’s state of mind when faced with his former mistress were unbearable. “You say Christina took her up? What the deuce is she at now, you must know I broke with her some time ago.” The thought that his former mistress should dare accost his wife enraged him beyond belief and he was forced to temper his response.

  “I couldn’t prevent it, Richard,” stated Diana. “Not without causing a scene and drawing attention to the situation. I am sure that you would wish me to avoid.”

  Calming slightly, the earl briefly caught Diana’s hand. “I am grateful to you for coming to me so promptly, though what I will tell the child, I know not. ’Tis not something I would willingly have subjected her to. To be brought face to face with Christina is insupportable and I have no doubt that she will be willing enough to apprise her of our association. What mischief is she about?”

  “Perhaps you could deny all knowledge of her?”

  “No, Caroline deserves better than that I should treat her in such a cavalier fashion. She must be told the truth. It would only serve to put a barrier between us should I offer her a lie.”

  Preparing to leave, Lady Diana drew on her gloves saying, “I must return home now. It would not do that she should find me here. Tell her whatever you think best, but beware that it could cause an irreparable rift between you.”

  “That is a chance I must take. Now if you will allow, I will order my carriage to convey you home. I will need to speak to my wife as soon as she returns. I thank you Diana for coming to me, at least now I will know what to expect,”

  *****

  Hearing his wife enter the hall a short while later, the earl quickly crossed the library floor and flung the door wide just as she reached the foot of the impressive staircase.

  Turning at the sound of the latch, Caroline halted and with hand resting on the banister, raised an inquiring brow, her countenance, with supreme effort, remaining impassive.

  “My dear, there is a matter I would discuss with you,” said the earl in level tones, attempting at the ordinary.

  “I do not have time for discussions, Richard,” she replied, with more asperity than she intended. “I am on my way to change for Lady Paxton’s soiree.” At this precise moment, she had no wish to face him, desiring only to be allowed to retreat to her own apartments and give way to the tears that she felt so near the surface.

  “It is not a request, Caro,” he said quietly, watching her reaction from beneath lowered brows as he seemingly removed a speck of imaginary dust from his cuff.

  “Rather a command?” she asked, standing defiantly erect.

  He raised his head, his countenance closed. “If you choose to see it as such. However, should you deny me your company, I will be compelled to fetch you.” He had seen the tears standing in her eyes when she had first arrived and could only guess as to what was going through her mind; he could not let the matter rest.

  “You mean you would actually carry me into the library?” she asked in some surprise.

  “If needs be. I cannot believe that you would doubt it,” he replied taking a step into the hallway.

  She turned to mount the stairs in rebellion to his threat, feeling an anger rise at his words, but of a sudden, thinking better of her actions turned, and crossing the hall, pushed past him into the library.

  She removed her bonnet and stood swinging it by the ribbons, wishing to appear nonchalant and not allow him to see the emotions that raged below the surface. “I take it now, Richard, is when you feel it necessary to act the heavy husband with me,” she said in what she hoped was a careless manner. “What have I done to incur your displeasure?”

  The earl closed the door softly behind him standing momentarily with his back to the panels before coming into the room. “I have no wish whatsoever to act the heavy husband,” he said, standing before her and taking the bonnet from her agitated hands to throw it onto a chair. He knew not how to broach the subject and stood for a moment looking down at her. “Diana came….” he began, but she cut across his words, making explanations unnecessary.

  “So Diana has told you that Lady Christina found it imperative to make herself known to me?” she asked shortly, unable to keep the hurt and anger from her voice. “I’m vastly obliged to her. It will save me the necessity of explaining all to you. I know it is an indelicate subject and one that should not be discussed between husband and wife, but I would so much have preferred to have been informed of your light-o-love by some other method.” The angry tears came and he turned away unable to face her distress.

  “I would have spared you this,” he said passionately, once more turning to face her. “Whatever lies Christina has told you, you must know I severed the connection before I came to know you. She has had no part in my life for some while now.” Gripping her shoulders, he forced her to face him. “I know not Christina’s motives in accosting you, but surely she must know it would only serve to alienate me still further from her.”

  She stood motionless beneath his fingers but she met his gaze fully, saying, “Whatever her motives might be, they have been quite thorough. I am fully aware that you don’t love me, you have made the matter plain from the outset of the marriage, but surely I should not be subjected to this?”

  His hands tightened involuntarily in his effort to seek her understanding. “The situation was not of my making and not one that I could have envisaged—I had put all thoughts of her from my mind. She has no clai
m whatsoever on me now.”

  “That is not how she presents it, sir,” replied Caroline defiantly. “She assured me of your continued devotion.”

  “Devotion?” he scoffed. “She never had my devotion. It was merely a convenient arrangement.”

  “As is our marriage, Richard!”

  His hands fell away from her shoulders. “How can you draw such comparisons?”

  “No, you are right, no comparison can be made,” she replied with a twisted smile. “For no matter how brief a time, she at least had your love,” and turning abruptly from him, she ran to the door, flinging it wide.

  “Caro,” he called after her, but she was gone.

  Anger and frustration raged within his breast and his first reaction was to go to Christina to lay accusations at her feet, but he realized that to visit Curzon Street would only lend credence to her lies should Caroline become aware of his actions. He returned to his seat behind the desk resting his forehead on his clenched fists, all manner of thoughts chasing through his mind, and remained thus, unaware of the passage of time.

  *****

  Eventually his thoughts were penetrated by the sound of the footman calling for My Lady’s carriage. Realizing that Caroline was leaving to attend Lady Paxton’s soiree, he could not bear the thought that she should depart without some semblance of peace existing between them and, to this end, he went to stand at the foot of the stairs, awaiting her arrival.

  Seeing her husband thus waiting, Caroline halted her descent, her hand going nervously to her throat, her pale countenance showing a deal of apprehension.

  “Come Caro,” he said placing his foot on the bottom tread and extending his hand to her.

  Noting her reluctance to continue down the stairs, and as she gave no answer, he said softly, “Have no fear—I will not threaten to fetch you as I did earlier. This is a request, if you choose not to come, then I am well served. I will not press you.”

  Slowly she descended the staircase toward him, but she did not take his hand, only standing before him as she achieved the hall.

  “You need not be concerned, Richard,” she said, her voice and features remaining cool. “I am well composed now and I realize the foolishness of my outburst. Your actions are no concern of mine, you made it plain from the start that we should order our own lives. I cannot complain.”

  “What nonsense is this,” he replied keeping his voice low, mindful of the footman returning to the hall with news of the carriage. Taking her hand, he felt the coolness of her fingers. “Come, will you not grant me a few moments before you leave?”

  “Will it serve? Is it of any purpose?” she asked searching his face.

  “I believe that it is,” he replied, and retaining her hand, turned toward the small salon at the rear of the house.

  Drawing her to sit beside him on the gold damask couch, he studied her averted countenance for a moment, noting her pallor and disinclination to meet his gaze. “My dear Caro,” he said quietly, “when I asked you to marry me, I made all manner of statements, even believing that a degree of contentment may be accomplished by the arranging of our own separate lives. I was foolish. It may serve others, but I believe we fare better than that. Indeed, a degree of harmony has been achieved, and I would be reluctant to lose it. We cannot allow Christina and her lies to come between us. Tell me what assurances would satisfy you, and I will promise to give them.”

  She met his intense gaze evenly and, seeing the sincerity there, she knew she was no proof against it and said, “You gave me your word that the association was ended, Richard, that is all the assurance I need.”

  Catching her hand, he pressed a caress into her palm. “My dear, once more you give me your understanding, understanding which I scarce deserve. I swear, I will never give you cause to regret it.”

  Caroline rose abruptly from the couch, unable to bear the earnestness in his voice. “I must leave for Lady Paxton’s, it will be unforgivable should I arrive late.”

  Quickly he was on his feet before her, his hands reaching for her shoulders of their own volition. “Can’t we consign Amelia Paxton to the devil, Caro?” he said softly. “Will you not spend the evening with me instead?”

  Unable to resist the temptation she smiled up at him. “I would like that,” she said shyly. “I had no great desire to go—it was only to please Victoria.

  “Your apologies will be made,” he said, delight sounding in his voice, “and I shall have your company.”

  *****

  Depositing his length into the hearthside chair, Lord Massey accepted a glass of claret from Lady Christina, saying with a sneer, “’Twould appear your little tête-à-tête with the young bride did not bring about the desired results. Dent reported that husband and wife were seen riding together in the park and seemed monstrous pleased with each other’s company.”

  “The chit is not as easily daunted as we first thought,” scoffed Christina. “One would suspect her of being in love with her husband.”

  “That is one accusation that could not be laid at your door, my dear,” purred His Lordship. “You may have a love for his money but certainly not his person.”

  “You know me too well, Anthony,” she said, sitting on the arm of his chair and leaning against his shoulder with a cat-like smile on her aristocratic countenance. “I keep my mind on more mundane matters. Love I reserve for you alone.”

  “What utter nonsense, my company would not be tolerated if it weren’t for my purse and connections.”

  “True, but as you so often say, we are very much alike, you and I, and deal tolerably well. You have no more love for me than I have for you, but we suit each other’s purpose admirably.

  “Exactly!” stated Lord Massey putting aside his glass to take her into his arms. “Some other plan must be devised to detach My Lady from her husband.”

  *****

  “I believe Julia to be starting with a chill,” stated Caroline with some concern, as she joined her husband at breakfast. “She is fractious and sneezes continually, I have told the nurse to keep her abed until the symptoms ease.”

  “She will soon come about, my dear,” replied the earl. “I will send for Dr. Leigh and he can prescribe for her. In the meantime, you may safely leave her to her nurse’s ministrations. It would not do that you should also fall prey to the condition. I will not have two invalids on my hands.”

  However, it was too late. By evening, Caroline shared the same streaming symptoms. Dr. Leigh made his call, and diagnosed both patients as having succumbed to the influenza. When Caroline showed a reluctance to obey the doctor’s orders to retire immediately to bed, the earl endorsed the physician’s words. “You will feel a deal better for the comforts of your bed, my dear,” he stated, as she still hesitated to do his bidding. “I will order a posset to be brought to you to make you more at ease. Now go. In this, I will brook no defiance.”

  Reluctantly, Caroline made her way to her bedchamber and, allowing her maid to assist her into her nightgown, crept gratefully into the vast comfortable bed. Her bones ached, her head throbbed, and her eyes and nose streamed relentlessly. Gratefully she lay back against the large lace pillows, allowing the softness of the bed to encompass her. The maid, after drawing the curtains and lighting the candles in their sconces, not wishing to disturb her mistress, quietly left the room. As she would have closed the door, the earl forestalled the action and, going past her, entered the room, the door closing quietly behind him.

  Thinking herself alone, Caroline continued to lie dozing with eyes closed, unaware that her husband crossed the room to stand, with small tray in hand, beside her bed.

  “Caro,” he called softly, and she was startled into wakefulness, her hand going automatically to her tumbled curls.

  “Do not disturb yourself, my dear,” he chuckled. “You must know I have a penchant for red noses and unruly locks. You look enchanting. Now come, drink this, I bring you your posset,” and he held the tray out to her.

  Pulling herself higher
onto the pillows, Caroline reluctantly took the glass from the tray. She had no desire whatsoever for the liquid, but at his prompting, took small sips, finding it necessary to pause frequently to blow her nose somewhat inelegantly.

  She smiled wanly as he drew a chair from the hearth and came to sit at her bedside. “You must forgive me, Richard,” she said with thickened voice.

  “Nonsense, my dear,” he said, with a teasing grin. “I have rarely seen so charming a picture. I find the whole most delightful.”

  “Wretch,” she chuckled in response. “I am quite aware of the picture I must present, though I must admit you were right, I do feel a deal better for my bed.”

  “Then what say you I sit with you for a while? We could talk, or you could doze, it matters not but that we should have each other’s company. If you have no objections, I could order supper to be served here in your room. I have no desire to dine alone.”

  “Order what you will, but I have no wish for nourishment, though perhaps a cordial to ease my throat.”

  “Poor girl,” he sympathized, patting her hand as it rested on the quilt. “Are you quite uncomfortable?”

  “Quite, sir,” she replied thickly, finding it once more necessary to blow her nose.

  “Then perhaps it is inconsiderate of me to expect your company. I will let you sleep.”

  “No, Richard, stay,” she replied, once more reaching for her handkerchief. “If you can endure my sniffling, then I’m sure I can endure your supper.”

  “Could I not persuade you to take some broth?” he asked solicitously, but she gave only a reproving look in reply. “Very well then, I will allow it for now, but tomorrow you must make every effort to take sustenance. It will not do that you should go unnourished.”

  “I see you intend to bully me into submission, sir,” she said, smiling despite her discomfort.

  “I certainly do, my dear,” he replied feigning hauteur. “Is it not my husbandly duty?”