Wanderlust (1986)

by Steel, Danielle

  Muriel was quick to cut him off. We'll have to get together again before we leave. Perhaps for lunch, Audrey? And of course we'd love to see you as well, Mr. Parker-Scott.

  I'm afraid we won't have time ' we're leaving for Peking in a day or two ' and I think, she smiled benignly at Charles, trying to get the message to him with her eyes, Mr. Parker-Scott is working on an article ' .

  Well, perhaps if you have time before you leave ' Muriel looked at him, nonplussed. Are you going to Peking, too? This would make some tidbit to take home with her. Stuffy Edward Driscoll's granddaughter shacking up with a writer in Shanghai ' she could hardly wait to tell her friends at home! And Charles walked right into her trap as Audrey almost groaned. Yes, I am. I'm working on an article for the Times.

  How interesting! Muriel cooed and clapped her hands and Audrey wanted to strangle her, knowing full well that what she found interesting was the fact that she had caught her with Charles, going up the steps to their room, in a hotel. She knew full well what Muriel suspected them of, and of course she was right. The problem was how to keep her from telling her grandfather. She knew Muriel suspected what was going on, and she would tell everyone in town when she got back to San Francisco.

  Mr. Parker-Scott just interviewed Chiang Kai-shek in Nanking. Audrey knew that she was embarrassing him, but she was hoping to distract the old bitch, at least temporarily, and Phillip Browne was of course enormously impressed by that. And with that, Audrey turned and smiled at Charles again. You know, you really don't have to walk me upstairs she beamed at Muriel again everyone is so afraid of bandits here. My friends entrusted me to Charles like a five-year-old. She smiled at him and held out her hand. Ill be fine with the Brownes, and I know you wanted to go on to meet your friends. She tried to make it sound as though there were twenty women on a street corner waiting for him, and he looked startled by her words, and then completely understood, realizing how stupid he had been. He leapt right into the play with her, shook her hand, and the Brownes', made a great show of picking up his messages at the desk, waved at them, and then left, as Muriel stood staring after him, looking disappointed. Maybe she had made the wrong assumption after all. She glanced quickly back at Audrey, who was chatting with Mr. Browne as they wandered toward the stairs. Their rooms were on different floors, but they deposited her in front of her door, and she shook hands with them, let herself into her room, and heaved a huge sigh of relief as they went on upstairs. She wasn't sure if they had believed her or not, but at least she'd done what she could to salvage her reputation before it was too late. And she wondered what would get back to her grandfather, if anything.

  She would have been considerably less relieved if she could have heard Muriel whispering to her husband as they walked upstairs. I don't believe a word of it ' .

  Of what? His interviewing Chiang Kai-shek? Are you crazy, he's the biggest travel writer there is ' . He looked outraged and she looked irritated with him, as usual.

  No, no, that nonsense about his going out with friends, and just taking her out to dinner tonight while her friends were otherwise occupied ' she's sleeping with him, Phillip. I can tell. Her beady eyes narrowed as he let her into their room with an expression of pain on his face. She was always ferreting out gossip about everyone, even here halfway around the world in a place like Shanghai.

  You can't tell anything. She's a decent girl. She wouldn't do a thing like that. He felt an obligation to defend her, if only for the sake of his old friend, Edward Driscoll.

  Nonsense. She's an old maid. She'd have married Harcourt Westerbrook, if she could, but her younger sister walked off with him. You never see her anywhere. All she does is play nursemaid to that old man ' and then she comes over here and kicks up her heels, where no one will know about it ' . Her eyes glittered with delight at the tale she told, but Phillip Browne only waved a tired hand at her.

  Stop making things up. You don't know anything. For all you know they're engaged ' or very much in love ' or just good friends or even strangers. There doesn't have to be something seamy about everyone you meet, you know. He often wondered why she thought that way. And the depressing thing was that she was so seldom wrong.

  Phillip, you're an innocent. I'm sure if you check the register of this hotel, they're staying in the same room. They're so far from home, they think they're safe. And she was right, of course. Audrey was already panicking in her own room, and she rushed downstairs again to hire a second room on a different floor, in Charlie's name. He was laughing half an hour later, when he let himself into the room they shared and looked at her.

  The man at the desk says you're throwing me out. He was laughing at the explanation they had given him, and he had correctly guessed what Audrey had done in the brief time he had gone across the street to a bar for a drink. You've certainly been busy, haven't you?

  She sat on the bed with a look of despair and glanced up at him. It's not funny, Charles. They are the last people on earth I would have wanted to meet here.

  I figured that out eventually, although I'll admit I was slow tonight. I imagine she has a rather loose tongue, dear Mrs. Browne, am I correct?

  Loose and vicious. She'll have it all over San Francisco that I was traveling with you.

  He knit his brows and sat down next to her. Do you really want me to move to the other room? He would have done anything for her. It was hard to remember sometimes that they had other lives they had to think about, this seemed to be the only reality to them. But he didn't want to do anything that would cause her unhappiness one day, especially if he wouldn't be there to protect her from them. I'm really sorry, Aud. I didn't really think we'd run into anyone, certainly no one you knew ' .

  She smiled at him ruefully. The world is very small these days. And to answer your question, no, I don't want you to move into another room. I just want to throw that old bitch off the track so it doesn't hurt my grandfather. But I'm not going to change my life for them, Charles. They don't mean that much to me.

  They might someday. Once you get home ' His voice drifted off. He hated thinking about her having any home, except with him, except she did, somewhere very far away. I don't want you to get hurt.

  I thought of that when all this began, and I cast my lot with yours. If I were really afraid of that, I would still be hiding at home somewhere ' or I'd be on my way back to the States by now. This is what I want to do she sounded proud just to be with him, and she was and you're the man I love, Charles Parker-Scott, and if other people don't like it, that's their problem. As long as we make an effort to see that no one gets hurt and the extra room had accomplished that then the rest of what we do is no one's concern but our own. He smiled down at her and took her in his arms as she spoke the words. He loved that about her. Her courage, her willingness to stick by what she believed. He suspected that she would have tackled anyone in order to stand by what she thought was right, and he loved that about her more than anything. He respected her, as he had respected no one else before.

  They went to bed that night and made love passionately for hours, and afterward Audrey smiled at him and teased, I wonder what Mrs. Browne would say to that?

  She'd be desperately jealous, my dear! They both knew it was true, and Audrey laughed as she thought of it.

  And Mr. Browne would harrumph and say ' very fine ' very fine'!

  They fell asleep that night as they always did, safely tucked in each other's arms, and not surprisingly, Audrey dreamed of her grandfather, but by the next morning she had stopped worrying about it. They had done what they could, and if she had to, she would explain it to him when she got home, that Charlie was a friend of James and Vi, that they were just friends, that he had happened to be in Shanghai at the same time. She was prepared to lie about it, for her grandfather's sake. He didn't need to know that she was deeply in love with the man. It would only have frightened him, fearing that he would lose her again, and Audrey had already long since decided that he would not lose her.

  Instead, she turned he
r attention to the wonders of Shanghai again. It was an incredible place to be, and the people fascinated her as well. There were English and French as well as Chinese, and firms like Jardine, Matheson's and Sassoon's brought in some very proper British types.

  Most of whom don't mix with the Chinese, Charles explained.

  That seems stupid, doesn't it? I mean after all, as long as they're here.

  He nodded, but things didn't work that way here. They're all very colonial in a way. They try to pretend that they're not here. None of them speak Chinese, at least no one I've met, except maybe one man I recall, and everyone considered him a little strange. The Chinese speak English or French to them, and the Westerners expect it that way.

  It seems rather pompous, doesn't it? The thought annoyed her, she would have liked nothing better than to learn Chinese. What about you, Charles? You speak a few words. Can you understand them here?

  The accent is different here, but I get along, he laughed, tossing his trousers on a chair, especially when I'm drunk enough, and with that he crossed the room in two long strides and grabbed her in his arms, like now. He pretended to bite her neck and gabbled at her in Chinese, and they collapsed laughing on the bed. All that decadence out there makes me want to attack you all the time, Aud. It's very difficult being here with you. She laughed and he continued to nuzzle her. They had been so tired during their travels over five thousand miles, and now they were both beginning to revive. She reached out to him hungrily and he held her close, playing his long, graceful fingers over her thighs, until she moaned softly in his arms. She whispered his name as he entered her and their lovemaking went on for hours, until at last they lay spent, and she whispered his name once more as she drifted off to sleep. She couldn't imagine ever loving any man but him. She might as well have married him, because she had given him her heart. Forever and always. It was a love that had crossed two continents, and she would have gone anywhere for him, or to be with him. He sensed that, as he held her close to him, and closed his eyes, listening to the noises of Shanghai.

  Chapter 14

  They spent a week in Shanghai, and then moved on to Peking. They left Shanghai by boat, bound for the port of Tsingtao, and they spent a romantic night on the ship, listening to the water lap at the hull, as they made love and then whispered long into the night. Audrey was almost sorry to leave Shanghai, there had been endless sources of wonder there, and Charlie's interviews had gone well there as well. Now, he only had to spend a few days in Peking, and they could begin the long journey back to Istanbul, and then Paris, and London after that, so he could begin his work, and finish the articles by year end, as his contract required. He was getting anxious to get back now, he had a lot of work to do, but as they lay in their bunks on the way to Tsingtao he was not thinking of the articles but only of the woman who inspired him with a passion he had never felt before. He could never get quite enough of her, he loved the way she felt and looked and smelled, he couldn't keep his hands off the silky skin, the deep red hair, couldn't keep his eyes away from hers, his lips from her generous lips ' every inch of her excited him and he thought he would have done anything for her.

  Will you really come to San Francisco to meet my grandfather? she whispered to him that night. He had mentioned it earlier and she was already worrying about going back. She couldn't bear the thought of leaving him.

  I'll come if I can ' when I finish my work. ' But he wanted her to stay in London with him. He had decided to go back to London to write his articles and he was hoping to be free after that. He had suggested that she go to London with him more than once, but that was impossible for her.

  You know I can't do that. I have to go back and make sure Grampa is all right. And Annabelle's baby is due in March. She had to be home for that too. Why don't you come to San Francisco to write your articles? Or at least as soon as you're through? She couldn't imagine that it would take him more than a few weeks, and she didn't see why he couldn't write just anywhere.

  I have a book to do after that, Audrey. I can't just walk off when I feel like it. The realization of that depressed him now. He didn't want to do anything that would keep him from her. But he did have his work to think about. He had contracts to fulfill. Somehow they'd work it out. It would make more sense when he got back to London and talked to his publisher, and he would think about it more seriously on the way back, but in the meantime, they still had Peking to share, and their discoveries there took her breath away. It had none of the brassiness and decadence of Shanghai. Peking represented history. The capital of China for eight hundred years once the home of Kublai Khan its awesome dimensions alone startled her as they stood in Tienanmen Square, and there were tears in her eyes as she looked at the curving gold roofs of the Forbidden City, which had been the compound of the Emperor's Palace for both the Ming and Ch'ing dynasties for years. She spent hours visiting there and the Temple of Heaven, built entirely of wood without a single nail. It was the building that impressed her most in all of Peking, and it was only five blocks from Tienanmen Square. She walked endlessly, carrying her camera as discreetly as she could, so as not to frighten the children who still thought it a devil box, and took photographs as unobtrusively as possible of everyone and everything in sight. She had been able to replenish her supply of film in Shanghai, and she used most of it in Peking. Particularly once they left the city and drove north, first to the Summer Palace, built by the Dowager Empress just north of the city to avoid the heat of Peking. It was only slightly cooler here, and the thing that fascinated Audrey most was the marble barge that had actually moved across the lake followed by countless other barges with musicians and entertainers playing in the warm night air.

  After the Summer Palace, they visited the Ming Tombs, in the Valley of the Ming. The main avenue to the tombs was lined by massive statues of animals, camels kneeling, lions roaring, leopards ready to leap, and twelve human figures, some of them depicting generals of the Ming dynasty. Again, the massive scale of it all, and the incredible beauty and detailing of the work, left Audrey bereft of speech, and more than once there were tears in her eyes, but the sight that impressed her most, that she could barely tear herself from, was the Great Wall. They had gone to Pa-ta-ling, twenty-five miles northwest of Peking, to observe its graceful curves, traveling on as far as the eye could see. The realization that it had been entirely built by human hands and stretched for more than fifteen hundred miles, separating China from Mongolia, seemed incredible. It had stood for more than two thousand years, and was the width of the four horses ridden by the guards who had patrolled the wall, keeping watch for roving Mongol bands, or the hordes who attempted to breach the wall from time to time. But the sheer grandeur of it, the endless continuity as it seemed to divide the world, was so amazing that she could only look up at Charlie with wonder in her eyes.

  It's incredible, Charles ' my God, it is surely the most impressive thing ever built by man. He had always thought so too and standing here with her made it even more special to him now. He had always wanted to share it with someone, and never had before. He had stood here before, five or six other times, always wishing he could share what he felt, the immensity of the hand of history reaching down to him, as it did again now. And she understood that so well, she cared so much, and he knew she felt just as he did, as he took a photograph of her, standing on the Great Wall. And it was only with great reluctance that they left, and at nightfall took the train back to Peking again. It was a short journey back, and she was quiet during the brief trip. It took them a little more than an hour, and she looked up at him as they pulled into the station in Peking.

  I will never forget this day. For the rest of my life, I will remember that wall. ' Stretching into forever for hundreds and hundreds of miles. She wanted to thank him for taking her there, but she didn't even know how. He had given her an experience she would never forget for the rest of her life. In fact, the whole time they'd been traveling had been that way, and it made the summer months in the South of France
seem so wasted and frivolous. She tried to explain that to him as they lay in their bed that night after a delicious dinner of Peking duck in a restaurant he had heard about but never been to before.

  There's room for both in one's life, Aud. Places like Antibes and places like this. Sometimes I enjoy the balance of both lives. She wasn't sure she agreed with him. In many ways she preferred this. She was more her father's child than she knew, especially now that she was here, the feelings she was experiencing overwhelmed her that night and she couldn't sleep. She could only think of the Great Wall, and the peaceful pastoral scenes on either side. There had hardly been another human being there, only that remnant of more than two thousand years ago, each stone carefully placed atop the next, wide enough for four horses ' it seemed to be engraved on her heart, and in her mind. She was awake when he first stirred, and she went back to bed to lie beside him. He was hungry for her, but she seemed distracted after they made love. Her mind was somewhere else. There was something else she wanted to see. She wanted to travel north to see Harbin, it had been another of her life's dreams. She had read a book about it once, and the book had been her father's of course. Will we be able to get to Harbin? she whispered to him in the darkened room. She was remembering her father's albums again and knew for a certainty that he had been there in his youth. He had liked it even better than Shanghai, or so he said, though she wasn't sure why, but she wanted to see it if she could. It was another of her dreams, left to her as a legacy by her father.

  Do you really want to do that, Aud? Charles did not look enthused. We really should start back. He tried to make it sound as though they had decided that she was returning to London with him, when in fact, for the sake of a speedier return, she would have been better off crossing the Pacific by ship and leaving him in Shanghai to travel back to London alone.

  But she hadn't made up her mind yet. And he wanted to get her to London with him. Going to Harbin could make the difference of her not having time to make the trip back with him. He didn't want any delays and he told her so. It isn't sensible. But she looked heartbroken at what he said.