What the Heart Desires

by Victoria Rose

  It would take time, and lots of it, too, if she ever decided.

  She didn’t know where she was going. She had no immediate plans, except to get away from Keane. She couldn’t stay and face him. She couldn’t look him in the eye and listen to his lame excuses, and she knew that he would have a few of them.

  About a mile away, she slipped in the snow and fell into a pool of icy water. She was dripping wet when she pulled herself out. She burst into tears. She wouldn’t be out here, freezing her butt off if Keane hadn’t done what he did to her.

  She blamed him for this. She had been in such a confused state of mind when she left, that it hadn’t crossed her mind to take one of the cars, or to grab her coat and boots. She could have also picked up the phone and called a taxi, but she hadn’t done any of those things. She had been too confused—and her only

  thought had been to get as far away from there as she could.

  She must have been wandering through the woods blindly for some time, because when she finally stopped to catch her breath, she was completely soaked.

  Her clothes clung to her like a second skin, and the pair of slip-on leather flats she was wearing barely hung onto her feet. They slipped off every time she took a step through the snow.

  She leaned against a tree and tried to squeeze some of the water from her hair and shirt. She had to think what to do next. There was no way she was going back to the ranch. She would rather die first! She would try to make her way out to the main road and flag down a passing car.

  The other option was to get to the nearest farm, which by her calculation was about a twenty to forty minutes’ walk away. She didn’t think she could make it there without her boots and a coat. And she didn’t know what story she was going to tell them when she finally found someone to help her. She certainly couldn’t say that Keane had kept her at the ranch against her will.

  Yes, he had lied to her about her bag, and kept her identity from her. He had sat back and watched as she tormented herself about it for weeks. But she couldn’t accuse him of keeping her prisoner. She was never his captive. She could have left weeks ago if she had wanted to. But she had chosen to stay with him. She had fallen in love with him.

  But now, she had no idea what, or if anything she was still feeling for him. She didn’t like being lied to. And now she was beginning to wonder if he had ever loved her the way he said he did. Had he deceived her about that too! Had it all been a lie for him!

  It was beginning to snow by the time she got to the top of the hill. The frigid wind whipped mercilessly at her light clothing, and bare head, and she did everything she could to shield her face and body from the onslaught.

  She lowered her head and walked sideways to get away from the wind and snow, but they still came at her, from every direction.

  She suddenly realized that she was in the midst of a brewing storm.

  She would need to take shelter somewhere until the wind died down.

  She remembered she had spotted a few rundown barns on the property the few times she had been out with Keane. It would be almost impossible to find one now, but that didn’t mean that wasn’t going to try.

  She lifted her head skywards and decided to go in the opposite direction. She had a few more hours of sunlight, and she intended to use them wisely. She was certain that she could make her way out of the woods before dark.

  She began to walk again, stumbling in the deep snow a few times as she went

  along. She eventually spotted a broken down barn about a mile ahead of her, and

  she hurried towards it. She was so anxious to get to it that she didn’t notice where

  she was going until it was too late.

  Another couple steps sent her tumbling down into a steep ravine, going head first into a pool of wet snow below. The fall was so sudden that she hardly had time to scream, but she did breathe Keane’s name; calling out to him a few times before she completely blacked out.

  The loud whirring sound of a helicopter somewhere in the distance brought her out of it moments later. She opened her eyes and looked around. She had forgotten where she was, but it slowly came back to her, jolting her memory like a bucket of ice-cold water.

  She was in pain, but she didn’t think that she had broken anything. She tried to sit up, but the sharp pain in her head sent her right back down into the snow.

  She let out a deep moan and took a breath. Her hand went up to touch the very painful bump on the side of her head.

  “God!” She moaned. “Not again!”

  She squeezed her eyes shut and willed herself to forget.

  Remembering was too painful for her right now. She just wanted to lie still and not think about anything! The helicopter sound was getting closer. She wondered if they were out looking for her. It was probably likely. She didn’t want to go back to the ranch. She didn’t want to see Keane—she didn’t want to listen to his excuse and lies anymore.

  She just wanted to get out of the cold and into some dry clothes. Her hand went up to shield her eyes from the blinding light as the helicopter came closer. Then she heard voices. She tried to sit up to see, but it was still too painful for her. It was then that she saw Keane running toward her.

  This was the first time she hadn’t been happy to see him. She would have welcomed anyone else coming to help her, but him.

  “Becky! Becca! Honey! My god! Are you alright?”

  He dropped onto his knees in the snow near to her and wrapped a large blanket around her shaking shoulders. He tried to hug her, but she pushed him away.

  “Honey, are you okay?” He smoothed her wet hair back from her face.

  She gave him the silent treatment. She refused to talk to him. She didn’t even want to look at him.

  “Honey?” He lowered his face and brushed his lips against her cold cheek. “You are burning up.” He touched her face with his hand and looked at her.

  She glared at him and used her hand to push him back from her.

  “Don’t.” she told him in a low angry voice. “Please, don’t!”

  “Let’s get you out of here.” He tried to lift her up in his arms, and she shoved him even further away from her.

  “I can walk!” she told him angrily.

  She managed to get up. Her legs were wobbly, but she was able to stand on

  them for about two seconds, before they gave way. She fell right back down. And Keane was there to catch her. He cradled her in his arms, and held her close to

  him so that she could feel his warmth.

  “Let’s get her out of here!” He barked to the two other men who had accompanied him in the helicopter. “Do you think she will be alright?” he asked Dr. Joe Bolton, an emergency room doctor who specialized in rescue trauma.

  He had hired Dr. Bolton because he heard he was the best in the area, and he couldn’t reach Michael soon enough.

  “I’m sure she will be fine,” Dr. Bolton told him. “But I can not be certain until I’ve examined her. She may be suffering from hypothermia. Let’s hope that it’s just a slight case of it. Thankfully the temperatures haven’t dropped that low since she has been out here.”

  Keane glanced down at Becca’s flushed face.

  “Honey, can you hear me?”

  Dr. Bolton said, “We will have a better idea of how she is doing soon.”

  “What have I done to you?” Keane whispered close to her cheek, as he carried

  her through the snow. “Please, God.” He lifted his head skyward and shut his eyes. “Please don’t let anything happen to her. Let her be okay.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  He had rushed back to the house, but it had been too late by then.

  Becca was already gone. The front door was wide opened, and he had found the Hermes bag with everything in it, scattered on the floor in the foyer.

  He hadn’t bothered looking around the house because he knew right away that she wasn’t there. And none of the staff had seen her leave.

  He had only himself to blame
. There was no logical reason to justify or explain what he had done. He had destroyed the one good thing in his life.

  He knew she couldn’t have gone far. All of the vehicles were still parked in their spots, and there weren’t any new tire marks in the snow to suggest that she could have left in a car with someone.

  Then Margo had sent him a video of Becca rushing out of the house and into the woods. The look on Becca’s face had broken his heart. She must have thought that he betrayed her in the worst way. He didn’t know how he was going to make Becca understand his reasons for doing what he did. He was also shocked by the lengths Margo had gone through to hurt Becca and him, especially Becca.

  He should have known that Margo was up to something when she had called

  him earlier this morning wanting to know what his schedule was for the day. It had taken him some time, but he had eventually connected the dots and figured out what Margo was really up to.

  By then he had been half way into town. He had tried calling Becca to warn her about Margo, but it had been too late. The damage had already been done. Margo must have shown up at the house right after he left.

  He would deal with Margo later. There was no way he was going to let her get away with this. But right now, Becca needed him. He had to be there for her.

  He had contacted the head of his security as soon as he realized what had happened and they had headed out right away to look for Becca before the storm hit. It had taken them less than ten minutes by helicopter to track her footprints in the snow and find her.

  “Her vitals are stable. She has a slight fever. I’m working on getting it down. There are some signs of frost bites on her toes and fingers. They don’t appear to be anything serious. We still need to get her to the hospital for observation.”

  Doctor Bolton gave Keane a reassuring smile. “I think she will be okay. We got to her just in time.”

  Keane reached for Becca’s hand and held it in his.

  “You hear that honey, you are going to be just fine.”

  Then he leaned over and kissed her cheek. And he could have sworn that he

  heard Becca calling his name, but he wasn’t sure.

  “How long before she wakes up?”

  “Maybe an hour. It could be less. I only give her something for the fever. Her body is probably still in shock. She will need time to recuperate, though.”

  Keane reached for Becca’s hand again, and held onto it, squeezing it gently, his eyes never leaving her face, as the helicopter took off towards the hospital.

  Chapter Seventeen

  It was deja vu for her all over again.

  Except this time, she wasn’t in the guest room at the ranch. Keane had arranged for a private suite at the hospital for her. She opened her eyes and found him sitting in almost the identical position he was about three weeks ago, keeping watch over her.

  She tried to move her hand away from him, and realized that he was holding it. He lifted his head quickly and looked at her. His eyes were the saddest she had ever seen them. There were spots of red in them. Maybe he had been crying, she thought, but she didn’t care. He wasn’t her responsibility anymore.

  “Honey,” he ignored the impassive look she gave him, and smiled at her. “How are feeling?”

  She didn’t smile back. There was no need. She was too angry and hurt. She threw back the covers and tried to get out of the bed.

  He sprang from the chair and tried to stop her.

  “I don’t think that you are well enough to do that.” He cautioned her gently.

  Becca glared at him. “Or what!” Her voice was reserved. “You are going to get

  your doctor friend to sedate me again!” She spun her head around and challenged him.

  “Michael isn’t here, Becca,” he told her in a very resigned voice. “You are in a hospital.”

  “I figure that much. And don’t worry, I’m far from having that type of break down again,” she told him in a jarring tone.

  “Don’t do this, Becca, please. You know there was a reason for that. Don’t make it sound as if any of it was willful or deliberate.”

  “Yep, you are right! There is no hysteria this time! I’m as well as can be!” She stepped onto the floor. “I’m not that naïve girl you found at the side of the road who needed your help, Keane. I’ve matured. I’m wiser. I can take care of myself now.”

  Keane stood back and gave her a very worried look. He was concerned for her.

  “Are you trying to say that I took advantage of you? Please don’t tarnish what we shared by insinuating such a thing.”

  “You lie to me!” Becca snapped at him. “Do I need to remind you what you did? Where are my clothes?”

  She glanced around the large room.

  “I will have new ones brought to you.”

  “What happened to the ones I was wearing? At least I knew they were mine;

  bought with my own money.”

  “They were wet and soiled. I tossed them in the trash.”

  Becca waved him away. “Don’t bother. I will get new ones when I’m ready to go.”

  “You are getting upset.” He tried to hold her.

  “Upset!” She shrugged him off. “Upset is only a fraction of what I’m feeling right now!” She lashed out at him.

  “Can’t we talk about this some other time? You are in the hospital. You have just been through a lot. Your emotions are running high. Give yourself time to recover, and then we can sit and discuss how you feel about me. Let me help you back to bed.”

  He attempted to put his arm around her waist and Becca nudged him away from her.

  “I don’t need your help! I can get myself back to the bed if I want! And speaking of; I’m moving to a room that I can afford. This is a private suite. I can’t afford to pay for it.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Yes, I do! I don’t need your help anymore. Now that my memory is back; I

  can take care of myself.”

  He gave her a startled look. “What…when did that happened?” he asked.

  “Don’t look so surprise! I thought you would be happy for me, unless there is something you don’t want me to remember.”

  He appeared hurt. “Don’t be ridiculous, darling. Of course I’m happy for you. I’m ecstatic! It’s what we have always wanted.” He moved in to hug her, and she sidestepped him.

  “The room has already been paid for,” he informed her.

  “I will reimburse you.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Yes, I do. I don’t want you doing me any more favors. You have done enough as it is.”

  He looked hurt. “Is that how you think things were between us?” He came and stood in front of her. “Anything I did for you, Becca was out of love. What I felt for you was real and natural, and nothing can change that. I love you.”

  She raised her hand and slapped him hard across the cheek. “Don’t you dare speak to me about love! You have no idea what it means! What you did taint the very meaning of the word.”

  He didn’t look surprised nor was he angry. He seemed relieve that she had hit

  him.

  Becca glared at him. “You see, Keane, I remembered everything, including

  why I was on the road that day. I’m sure it’s something you knew already.”

  “There is no excuse to justify what I did, but I want you to know that I did it

  because I loved you.”

  “I swear to god, that if you…”

  “What; you will slap me again.” He took her hand in his. “Go ahead, do it, hit me as hard and as many times as you want, if it will make you feel better. I deserve it.” He lifted her hand and aimed it at his face.

  Becca shook her hand out of his. She folded her hands across her chest and stared at him. “Why did you do it, Keane”” she asked him in a slow, hurt voice.

  “I did it because I love you. Damn it, Becky, I felt in love with you the very moment I saw you!”
/>   “That’s not a good enough reason!” She screamed at him.

  “It was for me. I was afraid that if you knew who you were, you would leave me and never come back. I was afraid I would never see you again. I was afraid that I would lose you forever.”

  “So you went about deceiving me instead. God! Keane, you had no idea what you did to me! I was dying to know who I was. I could have avoided that emotional trauma if you had only told me you found my bag, or that you knew who I was! You saw the way I was back then!”

  “I was going to tell you.”

  “Then why didn’t you? Didn’t you ever stop for a second to think that I would

  have wanted to know? Knowing would have helped me deal with all the self doubts. At one point, I thought I was losing my mind because I couldn’t remember anything. I had to force myself to convince myself that I wasn’t going crazy. Didn’t you think that I would have found out what you did eventually?”

  “I wanted to say something the next day, but by then you had made up your mind about staying at the ranch. You didn’t want to leave. And to my defense, I did offer to take you into town to have your prints run, but you refused.”

  “I refused because I was scared. I would have still stayed even if I couldn’t remember anything. You should have told me you had my phone and wallet!”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah.” She turned away from him. “The sad thing is; I was in love with you. I was afraid to leave the one person I trusted and felt safe with. I didn’t know what was out there waiting for me. Just letting me know would have saved me all that worrying. I know now that I have a very loving, supportive family. They would have been there for me, no matter what.”

  “There’s no excuse for what I did.”

  Becca met his eyes and sighed. “Yes, there isn’t,” she told him with resolved.

  “I was trying to protect you.”

  “From what? Myself? You? Yeah, you really did a swell job of it. I fell in love

  with you, damn it! How am I supposed to forget about that and move on, after