Strange New Feet

by Shannon Esposito

  *******

  Her apartment is dark and warm. She sits on the hardwood floor, her back supported by the couch. The phone is ringing for the tenth time. Finally, a female voice on the other end.

  “Dr. Mills?”

  A small pause and then, “hello Miss Raine.”

  “You said you would protect her and now she’s imprisoned. She’s an experiment.” Her voice sounds foreign to her, void of energy.

  “Which part of her makes that intolerable for you? Her human part? If that is the case, that is the whole point.”

  “You have to help me get her out.”

  “Miss Raine…Safia…don’t you see? This is an important step in freedom for all our primate relatives. The courts will have to decide to what extent she has rights. They will have to apply those rights to all of her—both her human and her chimpanzee ancestry. Which means that by extention, other primates will gain some of those rights. It is unfortunate but necessary I’m afraid.”

  Safia is silent for a long time, her mind unable to penetrate any one thought. “I’m afraid, too.” She finally spoke. “What if they decide she has no rights?”

  “Well, then it won’t change a thing.”

  She sighs. “Do you know where Anders is?”

  “No, I’m sorry.”

  “If he contacts you, will you ask him to please call me?”

  “Yes, of course. But, I would have thought he would have already called you if he was still interested in staying involved. In light of the released photo.”

  “Released photo?”

  “Yes. You haven’t seen it?” her voice softens. “You may want to turn on the news, Safia. Good night then.”

  She drops the phone and turns on the news, her heart pounding.

  “Oh, no…” she chokes. There it was, broadcasting for the entire world to see. A grainy image of Olivia, her eyes wild, her teeth sunk into the nurse’s arm, the nurse’s mouth open in a silent scream. Safia feels her whole being tumbling. How did this happen?

  She feels around the floor, looking for her phone without being able to tear her eyes from the screen. They are talking about the photo. Words like “animal” and “dangerous” are filtering in and out of her scrambled mind. Distantly she hears the ring in her ear and then Rita’s voice.

  “Hey, Safia. I guess you’ve seen the news?”

  “Yes.” What else can she say? “How?”

  “Someone took the image from a security camera. Probably a highly paid breach.”

  “For money? Someone fated her to public outrage for money?”

  “Looks that way. Security’s trying to figure out who had access now.”

  “Doesn’t matter, does it?”

  “Not really, no.” Rita seems to listen to the silence and then. “I’ll be over after work. I’ll bring dinner.”

  “Okay.” She hangs up. She watches the newscasters talk about the little girl she has grown to love. She watches their powdered mouths move, their manicured hands gesture, their one-sided, hyped-up opinions and words shaping the minds of millions. Her mind drifts to the soft green and brown eyes that trusted her, the ones now full of terror and loss. The weight is too much. Her head falls into her hands and she sobs, the tears soak her sleeves, swell her face and eyes. She tries to calm herself, tries to stop, but she can’t.

  Quarantine: DAY 4

  “How’s she doing?”

  Safia pulls her forehead off the glass, slides off the stool and stretches, shaking her head. “I don’t know.”

  “She isn’t responding yet?” Rita asks.

  “No. They’ve tried holding the phone up to her ear; she doesn’t even acknowledge my voice. Post traumatic stress syndrome is what they’re telling me. She still hasn’t spoken a word since her mother died.” Safia bites the inside of her cheek, feeling the fire flare up in her chest again. She tries to push it aside, this thing that is so foreign to her and growing without her permission. It comes anyway. This rage. It comes with whips of blame, slashing at her own soul until the grief makes her want to strike out at the world in a fit of rage. A few tears are all that she will let show of this battle within, a glistening layer in her dark eyes that if she’s lucky, she can keep from spilling out onto her cheeks. This is what she concentrates on.

  “How are you doing?” Rita’s voice is more tentative.

  “I don’t know.”

  Silence.

  “Looks like they’ve taken her out of the restraints, that’s a good thing, right?”

  “It only means they aren’t afraid of her…for the moment.”

  “Any word on how long the tests are going to take?”

  Safia tastes the salt of fresh blood in her mouth as her tooth sinks into the soft flesh of her cheek. She turns to Rita. This will be the first time she will say it out loud, the first time she is ready to face the horror of Olivia’s future. The first time she is ready to admit what she has doomed this child to.

  “Dr. Sellers…” her voice breaks, she keeps her eyes locked on Rita as an anchor.

  “The virologist?”

  She nods. “Dr. Sellers says he’s not sure how they are going to proceed, as each of her cells would have to be tested for any latent viruses. They could be hiding anywhere.”

  “Which is impossible,” Rita’s face drains.

  “Yes.” Safia turns her attention back to Olivia, back to the form lying motionless under a stiff white bed sheet, back to the eyes that she can only imagine, as Olivia has not turned to the window in four days. Safia imagines the betrayal Olivia must be feeling, the feeling of abandonment, of love being a lie, of adults being untrustworthy.

  “Oh, I forgot to tell you. Eduardo Giorgio—remember him? The artist?” Safia nods. “He wants to do something to help. Like make an exhibit dedicated to explaining her biology. He thinks maybe if the public has more knowledge it will dispel some of the fear.”

  “He really thinks all those protesters gathered outside are going to take time out to go to an art show? His last show was the most heavily protested in the museum’s history. No one’s going to be open to anything he has to say.”

  “Yeah, probably not. He’s just looking for a way to help get her out of here. You know he believes man and man’s actions are part of nature, not separate from it. That’s the message he wants to get out, that we can’t really say creating a chimera is against nature.”

  “That would be a hard sell.”

  “Yeah, I know. Wait, can’t you…do it?” Rita asks suddenly. “I mean…can’t you…with your gift…go inside her, like you do with the cancer patients?”

  “I only know certain perimeters. It’s too complicated to know what every part of the body should like look, especially one that’s not fully human.”

  Rita’s shoulders fall.

  “Besides, they wouldn’t trust me to tell them if I find anything.”

  “Would you?”

  Safia smiles as a tear breaks free and cools her cheek, “no.”

  Quarantine: DAY 7

  “Safia?”

  She turns from the window. “Oh, hey, Caden. Any news?”

  He straightens his tie uncomfortably. “Not any you’re going to like.”

  “Just tell me.”

  “It seems a group has formed and has hired a lawyer. They want her sterilized and kept in quarantine indefinitely.”

  “Sterilized?” The word hits her like a punch in the gut. “Can they do that?”

  “I don’t know, but I do know that no one wants this to get any further. There are all kinds of legislatures racing to pass laws to keep this from happening again, this mixing of human and animal. The world is pretty much just freaking out. Especially after the picture of her attacking the nurse surfaced, plus all that tabloid nonsense.”

  “But…” A new horror for Olivia. Safia can barely feel the push against the numbness. “But, isn’t there a law against forced sterilization?”

  “Yes, but it applies to humans.” His shoulders slump. “Look, Safia this is
what it all comes down to, someone has to declare her human so she can be protected by our laws.”

  “Someone who?”

  “We’ve filed a petition with The Supreme Court and the good news is there are some powerful people pulling strings to get a conference on this issue pushed to the front of the line. Once the Justices grant the petition, we’ll be on our way to a decision.”

  “So, a bunch of men locked up on Capital Hill that have never met Olivia are going to decide if she has a right to live with basic human rights?”

  “This isn’t just about Olivia anymore. It’s about what kind of life we are now capable of creating and getting laws put in place to protect that life before this happens again.”

  “Do you really think someone will create another human chimera? After all the uproar this has caused?”

  “Yes,” he says sadly. “The seal has been broken, so to speak, on a very big taboo. We are curious creatures, we won’t go back.”

  She sits down, unable to support herself. She needs something to hold on to. “Any other good news?”

  “I know this is hard for you but try to look the bigger picture, Safia. No matter what happens now, Olivia will be immortal. She is forcing the world to define humanity and rewrite laws. Her name will be in our children’s history books.”

  “The world is not defining humanity, Caden. They are shirking that responsibility very nicely by trying to lock her up out of sight so they can go on with their lives like she never existed. They’re just trying to push her back into their nightmares…back into their science fiction novels. But, she’s a real person, a real child and she deserves to have a life. She deserves to have…human contact at least, for Christ’s sake.”

  Quarantine: DAY 14

  Safia lays crumpled in the recliner the nurses have brought down for her, feeling desperate and tired. The cold, pervading emptiness of the hallway has seeped into her bones, her mind and her spirit.She has never felt so alone, so lost. Digging in her pocket for her phone, she dials his number again, and again has to leave a message.

  “Anders…Anders, this is Safia,” she clears her throat in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. “Please…return my call…please. Olivia isn’t doing well, she needs your help.”

  “You need to eat something.”

  Safia slips the phone back into her lab coat pocket, wipes at her eyes and glances at the sandwich Dr. Ackers is holding out to her.

  “You have to eat.”

  “I will,” she turns away. She can’t even consider food right now. It is one of those things that used to be important. Used to be necessary. She sighs and stands up. “She finally turned and looked at me yesterday…through the window. Her eyes, they are so full of fear. Do you know that the scientists assigned to study her behavior don’t even seem to be acknowledging the fact that she’s depressed or grieving? Instead they are classifying her behavior as more bonobo than human. They are using her attachment to me against her, using it to prove the bonobo trait of female to female relationships.”

  “I know. I’m working on trying to get you in there, Safia.”

  This is the first bit of good news she has heard in weeks. It steals the anger, drains her energy and she sits back down.

  “Thank you,” she finally looks at him; it’s all she can do to show her gratitude.

  Quarantine: DAY 26

  Safia feels ridiculous, like some futuristic little red riding hood stuffed into a white safe suite and carrying in a basket of tomatoes. But, even this is a distant thought because today she is being let in. Today is a day of hope. Today there will be no glass between them.

  She steps awkwardly into Olivia’s prison. There is one chair at the end of her cot, a red garbage bin she’d seen the nurse drop used needles and bags into, a hamper and a full body sanitizer. Not a place she would want to spend her life in.

  “Hi, Olivia.” She drops to her knees, heavy with both gratitude and grief and, reaching out, grasps Olivia’s hand tightly in her own. Olivia is sitting on the cot clutching her bear, blinking like someone has just pulled her out of a fox hole. Safia notices the bruises, the tiny holes where blood has been taken. She has given this child over to vampires who are greedily sucking the life out of her.“Oh, Olivia…” She reaches up and gathers Olivia in her arms, holding her tightly and weeping into the mask. Olivia is not responding, but Safia feels like she’s holding on to something for dear life. After a minute, she releases her and takes a deep breath. “Hey, I brought you something. I remember you told me that you like tomatoes. I have a whole basket here of fresh tomatoes. Are you hungry?”

  Olivia makes eye contact, but she is far away.

  “Yeah, I know. Me too,” Safia sighs. She leaves the basket on the floor and takes a seat beside Olivia. She leans her head against the wall behind them and pulls Olivia close. “We’ll just enjoy being together, okay. We’ll just sit here…you and me…and be together.” Safia makes eye contact with a nurse who is monitoring them. She has a sudden urge to flip her off. “Hey, Olivia…do you want me to tell you a story?”

  Finally, gratefully, she feels a response. A slight movement of her head against the suit. She closes her eyes and feels like she has just grasp the edge of a cliff with her fingertips. She is still with me. There is hope.

  “Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Olivia…”

  Quarantine: DAY 40

  Safia is humming, tearing pieces of tape from the dispenser, taping the newest homemade cards and letters that have been sent to Olivia, to the glass. She looks forward to these letters every day now. Even if none come one day, it is still something to look forward to the next day, some bit of goodness entering their lives from the outside world. She always tapes them facing in, so Olivia can see them.

  Olivia is watching her without expression. Safia waves and makes a face, then tapes up a crooked heart cut from pink construction paper. The front says “I pray for you to leave the hospital every bedtime. My mom says God loves everybody. Love, Nadia: aged seven.” This makes her heart swell, knowing there are women out there teaching their children how to love.

  “Safia?”

  “Yeah,” she turns and then her heart contracts as she sees the tentative way Caden is looking at her. She lays down the tape dispenser on the chair and crosses her arms. “What is it?”

  Caden looks past her, glances into the window at Olivia and then swallows like he’s going to be sick. His voice comes out as a forced whisper. “Some scientists have petitioned the courts to take some of Olivia’s brain tissue. They say it’s an opportunity we can’t pass up to study evolutionary changes in the brain.”

  The fluorescent lights suddenly seem way too bright, way too hot and the space in her throat is constricting. Safia tries to protest and then feels herself falling. There is a sharp pain at the base of her skull as her head meets the concrete floor.

  “Safia!” Caden’s voice comes from a far away place, past the darkness she is sinking into.

  Quarantine: DAY 42

  “Hello?” she drops the phone and then retrieves it, still groggy and disorientated. “Hello?”

  “Have you heard?”

  Safia tries to sit up on the couch, but her head is still pounding. She speaks softly into the darkness of her apartment. “Caden, you better give me some good news this time.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For?” She turns on the news in time to see the protesters in front of the hospital cheering, holding their signs high with pride. The scrolling caption at the bottom reads:

  Breaking News. The sterilization of the chimera child, Olivia Barnes, has been approved.

  The words pop off the screen and punch her in the gut. “Animals,” she whispers. “How can they do this?” She tries to focus, to clear the fog from her mind.“I don’t understand, Caden, I thought the Supreme Court had to rule first?”

  She hears the frustration in his voice. “I’m going to appeal, the hospital ethics committee shouldn’t be able to approv
e this until someone decides whether she’s protected under human rights laws. If she is, this is a clear violation.”

  “Her life is a clear violation,” she sighs.

  “But, about the Supreme Court, I do have some news for you on that front. I just learned this morning that they will not be granting the petition. But that’s not necessarily bad news,” he adds quickly.

  “What happened?”

  “It’s so complicated, Safia. There are so many things at stake here. Scientists and the biotech industry have been pushing to get the decision out of the lawmakers’ hands, fearing they’ll overact and stop future research. Besides that, I don’t even think the lawmakers want this in their lap. Back in 2005, Congress had the opportunity to address this issue with a proposed bill called the Human Chimera Prohibition Act. It went nowhere and the issue was never brought up again. So now, apparently, the President had a private meeting with the Justices and they have agreed, because of the scientific and moral nature of this dilemma, to use the expertise of The President’s Council on Bioethics. Whatever the Council decides, that decision will be upheld.”

  “Is this a good thing?”

  “I think so. At least the people on the Council are doctors and scientists. They have the knowledge to make a decision that’s not fear-based.”

  “Okay,” she turns off the TV and presses her thumb and index finger hard into her temple. “I have to do something. I can’t just sit around and watch the world crucify her. It’s driving me crazy. What can I do?”

  “I don’t know, Safia. What can one person do? Maybe think of something—something no one else is thinking of to prove once and for all that this child is human.”