Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  “I killed him,” Ashley says, suddenly.

  “But you wouldn’t have without Eden,” Liam defies, an expressionless look on his face. “You’re not one of us.”

  “Then what do I do?” she asks, looking at us both. “What can I do to be one of you?”

  “You learn to play the rules better than any of us can,” I remark. Knowing my life just got harder. Between Eden and Ashley, my father is not going to like who I was settlin’ into business with. “I want to know one thing,” I start to say, fixing her with a look.

  “What’s that?” she asks, hesitation hits her hard.

  “How were you able to find someone willin’ enough to help you out at such short notice? How does a girl who has nothin’ manage that one?” I ask her, my eyes boring into her. She doesn’t utter a word, and that’s the final straw. “Tell me!”

  “He knew people I lived with,” she admits, shyly. “A girl doesn’t bounce around like me to not earn herself contacts.”

  “And you didn’t think to let us know that,” Liam chides harshly.

  “Liam, back down,” I warn. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

  “Didn’t think it mattered,” she says, shrugging at me. “Why would it? I’m not anything to you but a job.”

  “I think I proved you’re more than that,” I say, snarling slightly.

  “How?” she asks, looking at me incredulously. “Between getting me between the sheets and getting all nostalgic with the ex, when was I supposed to be fully aware I was more than a job?”

  “You’re still here, aren’t you?” I ask, my voice nothing more than a snarl. “Don’t you ever doubt me, Ashley. If I didn’t care for you, you wouldn’t be standin’ here in front of me.”

  “Then make me feel like you want me to be here,” she says, her voice thick with hopelessness.

  I believed I inhaled Ashley like I did Eden – albeit quicker. I needed to finally feel something more than the bitter emptiness I had committed myself to. Greed drove me because Ashley fought against the idea of what I am to seek out who I am. I appreciated that she looked passed the blood on my hands and she didn’t let the contract bound us too tightly.

  When I kissed her, my world didn’t stop spinning; it started back up again.

  When I saw Eden, it spun a little faster.

  That’s why I’m struggling, and I hate myself for that.

  Like the greed that made me cave, my hunger to feel alive allowed me to draw them both in – my brunette lust versus my blond love.

  “Why am I here?” she asks, the nervousness from my silence getting to her.

  I lift my eyes, take a bold breath. “I want to believe you’re more than just somethin’ to yearn for,” I admit, hoping she’ll see my every truth. “I want you to see that I don’t just fall in and out of relationships. Eden has a hold on me, I won’t lie, but now you do, too. No other woman has reached this point.”

  “So, what?” she asks, throwing her arms outward a little. “I’m just meant to stand here and watch you flit between us?”

  I am no better than any man she has been with before.

  She caught me when I was suffering the aftermath of a lost love. I was so enraptured, so caught up in the loss of Eden I lost complete focus on life. It was like a light went out and now, all of a sudden, my life is blinding me.

  “This is why I chose never to love,” I bite, unable to form her an answer. Cowardly, I move onwards, changing the subject. “This life will drive you past the point of crazy … right until the very moment you realize there is no goin’ back.”

  “You’re not kidding,” she says, releasing a mirthless laugh. “This is all too crazy to keep up with.”

  “But you said you’d fight,” I tell her, using her words against her. “If you meant it, you’d realize that I’m not a man of sanity. I’m not even a man who claims to be.” I hold her gaze across the room. “You’ve not had this brand of crazy,” I tell her, uncaring of her reaction. “This life will take your soul, drain every inch of goodness from it and still leave you feelin’ like a hopeless believer.” She blinks, trying to remain strong. “You’ll believe in better endings, brighter days, freer choices, but you’ll forever be beholden to The Firm. There aren’t any get out clauses, no quick escapes. This life is as binding as that contract between you and I. Are you sure you’re willin’ to give yourself to us? Do you want to give yourself to me?”

  “What choice do I have?”

  “Every,” I simply state. “Unlike that contract, I’m not goin’ to hold you here, Ashley.” I narrow my gaze, holding every inch of her attention. “But you said you’d fight. If you leave, I know that was all a lie.”

  “It wasn’t,” she exhales.

  “Then be brave,” I remark. “Be one of us and fight for once in your life.”

  My cell rings before she can reply and I pull it from the back pocket of my jeans. Looking, my heart sinks as I see my father’s name glow on the screen. I turn my back on Ashley, hearing Liam leave, and walk toward the window, placing the phone to my ear.

  “I’m about to send you an address, I want you there in twenty minutes,” my father’s voice says. “Make sure you bring Ashley.”

  Before I can even utter another word, the line goes dead.

  I leave the room, not telling Ashley where I’m going and get ready to call my men. I find them congregated in the main living room.

  “We have to leave,” I declare going over to them.

  “We know,” Harrison states, looking over at me.

  “Boss,” Liam starts, “We all got the same invite.”

  Holding his phone up, he shows the address from an unknown number and then Nate and Frazer follow quickly after.

  “What’s he up to?” Liam asks with the same sense of unease in his voice is the same that is balling in my stomach.

  “I don’t know,” I reply, shaking my head as I try to work it out. “He called me to tell me I’d be gettin’ the location and that Ashley was to come.”

  “Me?” she gasps from behind me.

  “You want to be a part of The Firm, don’t you?” I ask, deliberately throwing on the nickname she hates. I turn to face her, reverting to the man she first met. “Well, it seems the fun is about to start for you finally. You’re about to get your chance to be one of us.”

  “About fuckin’ time!” Liam cheers, rubbing his hands together. “I thought the game was slowin’ down with how few jobs you were handed.”

  “Seems my father has a lot more in store for us than ever,” I utter, wondering if we’re finally going to get some jobs to occupy my time. “I need the fuckin’ distraction.” Looking at Ashley, I eye her up and down. “You good to go?”

  “Yeah,” she says, her voice minimal.

  “Good, I want to be there early,” I say, and lead the way toward the elevator.

  We walk into the abandoned warehouse lot, the windows blown out, the roof rotting away. It was a quiet ride over, one like we usually have when we’re dealing with a big shot hit. We walk inside, in the same manner, Ashley close to me as my men circle us.

  “Why are you here?” Eden’s voice echoes as she asks.

  I feel everyone settle at the sight of her and Tess, breaking away to meet them. I look at her and hate myself for the way she makes me feel. A sense of déjà vu hits me, and I remember a time where she lured one of our kills to a warehouse like this. She may have left me to do the dirty work, but she certainly had to work herself to the bone to secure the kill.

  She looked just as attractive in that moment of murder as she does now.

  “Could ask you the same thin’,” I say smoothly, narrowing my gaze passed Eden and onto my little sister.

  “Dad sent us a text to meet him here,” Tess says, standing to Eden’s right.

  “I sent you all the same thin’,” my father asks, entering from my right. “Glad to see you’re all so punctual,” he says, coming to stand before us with his own henchmen. “Seems The Firm does teach some thin
gs that don’t go forgotten.”

  The moment my eyes meet with my father’s bright blue ones I know this is not a family gathering, but judgment day.

  Forgive me, father, for I have indeed sinned.

  Here’s hoping he hasn’t learned a single one of them.

  I watch her from where I’m stood.

  She looks more human now.

  Brought down from whatever self-proclaimed pedestal she’d placed herself on.

  I feel like the outsider here, even though we’re all stood in a line, faced with Leo and his group of men. I’m stood beside Liam and Frazer, Lawson stood the other side with Eden next to his sister.

  “You’re all probably wonderin’ why I’ve called you here,” Leo starts, breaking the tension with a clear, confident tone. “I thought it was time we all had a meetin’ … drew some lines, got to know the new standin’ order.”

  “And what’s that?” Lawson asks, daring himself to speak up. “Because I don’t see any need for this.”

  “Of course, you don’t,” Leo says, chuckling lightly at his son. “But that was always your biggest problem, wasn’t it, Lawson?” he asks, clasping his hands together as he takes a step forward toward Lawson. “You never see the issue.”

  He takes a slow, thoughtful pace.

  I forget to breathe.

  I feel the distinct feeling of unease rush through my stomach, and a part of me wonders if this is the end. I wonder if Leo is revoking his choice of commands for Lawson and I’m the one that won’t be here by sunrise.

  Shifting the weight between my feet, I’m cautious as Leo allows the dust to settle before he kicks it all up once more.

  “Let’s start with one of my two belligerent children,” he says, but he stops between both Tess and Lawson. He looks among us all, taking in our expressions. “Don’t look so shocked … I have a daughter not made for this world and a son made too much for it.” He looks between the two of them. “So, who do I start with?”

  “Me,” Lawson bites, a protective tone spills from him.

  Leo laughs. “Step down, Lawson. I think Tess needs a bit of a reality check.”

  “No, she doesn’t,” he replies, ignoring his father’s orders. “I made sure Tess was never one to be brought into The Firm’s business. That was our deal. I made the orders, you agreed. It was me for her.”

  “Well, I’m not happy with the parameters of that contract, Lawson,” Leo responds, a dry sarcasm laces his remark. “Do you know how badly frowned upon it is that I have two children and only one willing to commit?”

  “I don’t care,” Lawson replies, taking a dangerous step closer to his father while inadvertently stepping in front of Tess. “The deal was her for me. You have no business reprimandin’ her for no reason.” I watch Lawson’s face darken while Tess shrinks behind her brother’s form. “She got to live a normal life. You do not get to take that away from her now.”

  Leo struggles with himself, but his shoulders lose tension, followed by the look on his face. “She’d have made a fine member had she been given the chance,” Leo admits, looking around Lawson to his daughter.

  “You keep tellin’ yourself that,” Lawson remarks.

  Leo tries hard, in vain even, to argue the point, but I can see that Lawson won’t be moved.

  “Well then … that brings me straight to you, son,” Leo states, a sudden roughness to his tone shows he’s not happy with this. “Sooner than I hoped, but I guess you need the beat down to realize how much of a fuck up you’ve become.”

  I don’t think anyone will ever realize the effect Lawson’s life has had on him. I haven’t even begun to learn what, but I have a feeling I’m about to be forcibly shown.

  “What a fuck up I’ve become?” Lawson asks, laughing at the incredulity of the moment. “What a fuckin’ fuck up I’ve become?!” he roars, reiterating the question showing his frustration. “That’s fuckin’ grand.”

  I take a moment to look at Eden. She looks so ready to pounce, but at the same time, looks so incredibly guilty. I guess the sins of their past are now being set upon them. Even though Lawson now only abides by his father’s ruling, his past is one that will tarnish his reputation and Eden had a hand in making it that way.

  Remaining calm, Leo watches his son.

  “You have to realize your standin’ in The Firm has been made questionable with your actions, Lawson,” he starts, his voice smooth and calm. “You went off the beaten track. You defied me. You and Eden became enemies of The Firm for some time.”

  “That ended,” Lawson notes, trying to keep his words from being affected by the anger. I notice the way he balls his fists and releases them, showing he’s becoming unhinged by this meeting. “That ended when she left. It hasn’t restarted because she’s back.”

  “How am I to be sure of that?” Leo asks, looking between the two.

  Unease rolls through me again with the reminder of how tightly bound Lawson and Eden were. I’m acting like the broken-hearted girl, and no one even knows. I didn’t think I could fall this hard, this quick for a man I barely know, but maybe it’s because he’s nothing like those I ended up with before.

  “Because I promised,” Lawson comments, his words sincere. “As your own blood, I deserve the benefit of the doubt. As your son, you know I can be like you.”

  Leo strides over to Lawson, he places his hands either side of his face, holding his head still to look at him with a strong hold. He fixes Lawson with one look, barely blinking as he focuses on his son.

  “You may well be my son,” he says, his face inches from Lawson’s. “You were born of me, Lawson, which means a part of me lives deep within you.” He doesn’t move, doesn’t release Lawson. “But you aren’t me. The parts of you driven by your heart aren’t made from me. You are my son, but you are not my equal. That’s why I doubt you.” I watch as his fingers tighten around Lawson’s head. “So, when did you become such a fuckin’ disappointment?” he asks, throwing Lawson’s head aside.

  I hesitate to breathe, taking my time to shift my gaze around to steal a glance at Lawson’s face. From the stillness of the room, I know the sentiment is the same for us all. We’re all watching this scene with bated breath wondering why we are privy to it.

  “I watch for months as you tear this city apart then you come crawlin’ back when the girl breaks your heart,” he pauses, a smirk tugging on his lips. “Just like I said she would … and I allowed you back into The Firm, back into the place you knew would always want you. I thought we were making progress, Son. I thought we were finally getting’ somewhere.” Leo slows himself, but while he may have gone silent, his expression speaks volumes. “Then you bring me this girl,” Leo declares, pointing at me. “Drag her to my office, allow me to set you some rules only for you to break them all … just like you did with Eden. You’re a rule breaker, Lawson, so why should I keep allowin’ you the opportunities to keep breaking my rules?”

  “Because I’m your son,” Lawson argues, beaten by his father’s finality.

  “And then I learn about your business meetin’ with Jay.” The fire that ignites in Leo’s being is threatening; he doesn’t even acknowledge Lawson’s plea for paternity. “Which one of the girls do I thank first for ending that?” he asks, before looking at Eden and then me. “The new girl or the old one?”

  “I wasn’t to know what he was plannin’,” Lawson comments, keeping himself emotionless as he ignores his father’s questioning.

  “No, but you were so hellbent to make a new legacy outside of The Firm, you didn’t properly investigate, did you?”

  “It wasn’t about having a legacy!” Lawson yells, his anger beseeching him. “It was about being somethin’ more than the little boy you constantly make me out to be!” I watch as Lawson’s face reddens, and Tess reaches out to place a hand on his arm.

  “Lawson, don’t do this,” she argues, her quiet voice tells me she does not want to antagonize anyone.

  “No,” Lawson says shaking her off. “He wants
to fix things in this way then he has to take some of the fuckin’ blame.” Lawson takes steps toward Leo, dangerously closing the gap between them. “I have lived in your shadow all of my life … everyone tellin’ me how I had to grow up to be just like my father, how I had to learn quickly to run The Firm. I never wanted any of that! I did it because you’re my father. Not because I wanted to, but because I felt I had to.”

  “And when you rebelled?” he asks his son. “What was that to show?”

  “It was to show you that I am my own man. I wanted you to open your fuckin’ eyes and see what I was capable of on my own. Not what you wanted me to be capable of!” Lawson isn’t delicate with his admittance. I knew the man I met was holding back, but finally, I’m seeing him letting loose. “I wanted out from your shadow. Just like Eden wanted out from her dad’s one. We wanted to be our own people.”

  “And look how that ended,” Leo deadpans.

  “Yeah,” Lawson agrees, looking his father up and down with a derogatory look. “Look how it ended.”

  “You’re lucky I haven’t discarded of you like I have so many people, Lawson. You’re lucky we’re bound by blood because I would’ve done everything in my power to get rid of men like you.”

  “Men like me?” Lawson dares to ask.

  “Yes, weak, insubordinate men who surround themselves with self-believing prophets who weren’t quite powerful enough to rank in The Firm. No, the men at your side are those who weren’t ever going to be more than what they are now … your slaves.”

  “You dare belittle them,” Lawson snarls, his fists curl once more, this time they sit at his sides, ready for the punch. “My men have been there for me when my own father was far busier dealin’ with contracts and mergers. They were there when you thought it unimportant to remember you have a son who lives in the same city. They’ve been a better family to Tess and me than you ever were.”

  Leo chuckles, rubbing his jaw. “Is that so?”

  “Yes,” Lawson confirms, holding himself steadily. “I don’t even think of callin’ you when a job’s done or when I need a job doing. I trust the men who stand by my side because they’ve saved my ass far more times than the man I call dad.”