Sweet Venom (Crazy in Love #1)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  My hands shake at my sides, and I want nothing but to finish her. I want to push my morals aside, forget about my ethics and finish this all. Eden needs the help, and while I’m in here, she’s fading.

  So, I look to the door, knowing I could make an exit, get Eden and run, but as I look over at the door, I see the ghost of Liam. Except as he moves forward I realize my father flanks him.

  As Ashley starts to move, he says nothing, but moves his hand, telling me to keep going, that I need to distract her for just a few minutes more. He then places a finger to his lips, giving me clear instructions.

  I can feel my nerve cracking as I realize the grief I felt was for nothing. My spiral toward rock bottom was needless. The man who stood beside me and died in my arms was well and truly alive. The way my heart pounds against my chest, threatening to crack every rib down my chest, tells me I’m on the brink of snapping.

  “You’ll regret ever putting a hand on me,” Ashley remarks, catching my attention as she drags herself up off the floor. “You’re not leaving this warehouse alive ... and I’ll go back and finish Eden in the slowest, most painful way I can think.”

  She fires the gun, fire tears through my thigh, bringing me down to my knees on the ground. I don’t howl with pain, I grit my teeth, my hands coming to frame the flesh wound on me. Blood gushes free, covering my hands instantly.

  “Maybe now you’ll take me a little more serious,” she mutters, with a cutting tone.

  “You fucking bitch!” I say to her, ripping my belt buckle apart in an attempt to help the bleeding in my leg. “I was only tellin’ you the truth. I willingly came here with you.”

  “It gives me the advantage,” she snickers, a bright grin marking her face.

  She’s lost all semblance of sanity. Her eyes are crazed, wide with lunacy.

  “You got your advantage when you shot Eden,” I grouse, wrapping the belt around my thigh, pulling it as tight as possible. I grunt but continue to pull it tight. “And if you wanted to do real damage, you’d have aimed better.”

  “I can show you how good my aim is,” she says, retraining the gun onto me.

  “Then what leverage have you got?” I ask, laughing sardonically. “Because I might have given you a number, but that doesn’t mean it’s the real passcode to my safes,” I smirk, watching her panic. “You get rid of me, and you could end up with absolutely nothin’.”

  “You’re lying,” she replies, but can’t stop the panic from forming. “You said that combination too easily.”

  “Because I wanted to buy Eden some time!” I declare, my tone deepening with a menacing nature. “You think I still feel somethin’ you, Ashley?” I ask, knowing I’m pushing her to the brink of no return. “You didn’t have time to leave that much of a lasting impression.”

  “Is that so?” she asks, debating that fact. “Didn’t seem that way while you fucked me.”

  “I’m a man,” I scoff, chuckling at her argument. “I think with my penis from time to time. You and Eden were easy bait the other night. Why have one when both are willing?” I say, smirking harder at her dismay. “Liam always used to ask me which would I have … the blond or the brunette. Well if only he were here to learn I didn’t have to pick.”

  “Well, he’s not here for you two to continue your idiotic banter,” she sneers, being extra callous. “I was so glad when that bastard died. I didn’t have you down as a man to enjoy condescending cunts in your legion, but you amazed me daily.”

  “You never had a chance to get to know him,” I remark, playing the part. “You don’t know any of us.”

  “I don’t, but I do know it’s just you and me, Lawson.” She puts her hands out, adding to the fact that it’s quiet. “So … how do you expect to win this one, Lawson?” she asks, bringing the gun up, looking at me over it. “You’re unarmed and injured … and I’m armed and dangerous.”

  “My men know I’m here,” I say, knowing that Harrison and Frazer wouldn’t idly ignore the bang of gunshots. After all, how else did my father get here with Liam?

  I’m near the point of unraveling, of giving up the fact that we aren’t alone.

  “They’re out for the count,” she admits, laughing back at me. “How else do you think I got in here without them following?” she asks, taking the gun away from.

  She cocks her hip, placing a hand on it as she stands over. This is the girl I wanted to get lost with. The one that was capable of mayhem and devilish antics. I wanted her to come and play. Instead, she hid behind the innocent act. She won me over by being the opposite of Eden.

  “You know,” I start, clearing my throat as I adjust to the pain in my thigh. “I’d have found you much hotter if you’d have brought the bitch act to the table.”

  “Is that why you fell for Eden?” she asks, tilting her head to make sense of it all. “If I’d have come into the game like that then alarm bells would have signaled something straight away, but I lured you in, Lawson. You fell for it all because you felt something for the nice girl. You wanted to taste something different than sweet venom.”

  Sweet venom – the term I use for Eden. She was equal parts good and evil. She was addictive but poisonous and everything I could crave day and night for. Ashley was never going to be as sweet as venom.

  “You only chose to fall because I was the polar opposite of every single desire you had,” she states, nailing the point exactly.

  She was right.

  I did fall for her because she was Eden’s opposite. She was brunette and pure, and I wanted every inch of her because if I couldn’t have Eden, then I would take anything but her.

  The failure was she was more like Eden that she was willing to see, but I know she would never match the blond that secured her part in my life with one kiss.

  “There’s a reason she was sweet venom, and you never were,” I say, noticing Liam moving, stalking behind Ashley.

  “Let me guess!” she barks, feigning excitement. “She was so tempting because she was just like you,” she chides, tapping her chin mockingly. “I guess that’s why I found it so easy to hurt her. She meant nothing to me.” I know she’s pushing that lie, she knows what she felt was true to some extent even if she doesn’t want to admit that. “Not even when she was kissing me like she meant it!”

  She sighs after that comment, looking content with all she has mastered in the short time she’s been in my life.

  “You know … I’ll cut a loss with you, Lawson.” She finally stands taller, looking mentally prepared for what’s about to come. Her eyes land on me, looking pleased with me on my knees at her feet. “But only because I fantasized about your death a lot,” she declares, laughing manically as she steps closer, the gun poised at her side once more. “Eden’s too!”

  I stay on my knees, willing to make her think she’s beaten me down, worn me to a defeated warrior. She looks happy with herself, but inside I’m laughing. Liam is stealthy, while my father and other men stand back, hidden in shadows.

  They let her have fun, let her revel in the darkness she’s finally allowing herself to feel. She takes a few steps forward, and my pounding heart starts to slow, and I gulp hard as she brings the gun up, pressing it to my forehead. Deliberately, I look up, forgetting anything else and look at the woman who holds all of the power.

  “I thought of so many deaths for you, Lawson,” she tells me, her hand steady as she prepares me for death.

  “I only thought of one for you,” I hear Liam finally speak as he spins her around, the cold metal removed from my skin.

  I don’t see much other than Ashley’s body go limp in his arms. He hugs her close, her body jolts twice and then she falls away, and he stands alive, watching me with a bloodied knife in his hand.

  Ashley between us.

  He cracks his neck, looking at ease when I’m anything but that.

  “And that was it.”

  I claw at the floor, paralyzed by pain.

  I try to move, but even the gentlest of movements cripples me
, and I can’t help but let the quiet sobs wrack me. I’m surrounded by people who won’t grant mercy on someone like me.

  Two feet situate themselves in front of me. Between them I see Lawson catch Eden as she comes into the room.

  “You see that?” Liam asks, crouching down, blocking the view. “That’s what true love looks like.” He smirks, tilting his head as he gives me a sympathetic gaze. “You never stood a chance,” he adds, chuckling.

  “He-lp,” I gasp, tasting blood at the back of my throat.

  “No can do, Princess,” he says, I can sense the mirthful lift to his voice. “That’s not how this works anymore. You did a lot of damage to expect a lot of help.”

  While the ice settles in my heart, I can’t help but be bitter.

  “He’ll,” I start, panting as I struggle to move. “He’ll never forgive you-ou.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” he admonishes, staying where he is. “I’d break his trust a hundred times over if it meant I got to save him from poisonous bitches like you.” He reaches out to me, and I flinch as he touches my hair. “You should learn to cover your tracks a little more, Ashley.”

  “T-took you lo-long enough,” I mock, trying to force vindication into my tone.

  “Well ... you were good to a point,” he tells me, and I can almost hear his amazement. “You thought you were so clever,” he starts, scoffing quickly afterward. “But you can’t beat The Firm.”

  I cough, bringing up blood too quickly for my liking and I finally force myself to move.

  “Now, you’re goin’ to die here, Ashley,” he tells me, following me I finally make a slow crawl away from him. “And all for nothin’.”

  “He-he’ll ne-ver love her a-gain,” I grouse.

  “You can tell yourself absolutely anythin’ you want,” he replies, looking over his shoulder. “I guess we all want to tell ourselves somethin’ to make ourselves feel better when the time calls for it.”

  I can feel my body closing down on me, and as my heart rate picks up, I find it harder to breathe around the blood clogging my mouth and throat. I arch my back as I cough up more blood, watching it hit the gray concrete beneath my hands.

  He follows me, and I know it’s only to mock me to death. He crouches does as I collapse on myself and give up entirely.

  “Was it worth it?” he asks, narrowing a condemning gaze on me. “Because pretendin’ to die was well worth it for me.”

  “It won’t be,” I say quietly. The taste of copper taking over my entire mouth.

  “We’ll see,” he replies, smiling before he finally stands.

  I don’t follow him as he stands, my eyes trained forward as I watch Lawson kiss Eden with abundance. She falls weakly against him, crying in his arms as he calms her woes. Ignoring Leo trying to help them.

  As Liam walks toward them, Lawson looks at him, caught between happiness and betrayal. I watch Lawson give in and hug Liam, tightening the grip around the brother he thought he had lost. When they pull apart, I notice him looking over. He gives me a look, his eyes meeting mine and I move my arm out, pleading with him to help, but he doesn’t make any steps to come to my aid. Instead, he turns, limping out of the room, leaving me here.

  And as the room empties, I realize I’m completely alone. No matter what I did, who I bought, who I used, this was the only ending that could have happened for me.

  I now see that.

  The hardest pill to swallow is the truth that the hero that loved me won’t chance it again.

  With my dying breath, I realize there’s nothing I can do, no man I can love to save me.

  Lying here, I know there’s only one thing for me.

  I let everything just … fade … to … black.

  He hasn’t come near me since we got back to the loft.

  At the hospital, we were separated, treated alone and left in our own beds while Leo strived to get us discharged. When he did, we got into separate cars and were both driven back to the loft – the only place Lawson wanted us all to be.

  Since then, I’ve been left on the couch, nursing a freshly cauterized and stitched wound to my shoulder, bruising to my ribs and stomach, and a slow burning irritation by the amount of noise going on in the room. Rubbing my forehead, I decide to stop ignoring and just listen.

  “Okay, so you saved my life, thank you, but you didn’t have to go behind my back to do so. I could’ve been a part of it. I’d have appreciated being a part of it,” Lawson argues, and I can tell from the lift in his voice his emotions are unraveling.

  “It couldn’t have worked that way,” Leo rebukes, keeping an even tone regardless of his son not listening.

  “So, you decided to play around with fuckin’ blanks and blood pellets in the hope it would make me think you were fuckin’ dead?” Lawson asks, anger lights the edges of his words. “Do you know what you did to all of us?” he asks, and I watch him struggling to keep his rage from burning through him. “I thought I’d lost you for good!”

  “And that was the point,” Liam says back, completely calm. He looks to Leo and looks back at Lawson, catching me watching as he does so. “We had to make you all believe it was real.”

  “Well, it was fuckin’ real,” Lawson growls, putting his hands on his head. “I was going to do some real damage.”

  “That’s what I was hopin’ for,” Leo admits, crossing his arms over his chest. “I knew we couldn’t just pull Ashley without you kickin’ off about it, but if we got you to spiral, then Ashley was soon to follow.”

  “And Eden would, too,” Liam says, looking between them both at me. “Sorry, Love, but we knew how you’d be all things considered.”

  “Glad I didn’t let anyone down,” I say, waving him off.

  While I look away from Liam, it’s only to look at Lawson. The way his eyes burn into me is uncomfortable, and I hate that I can’t read him. I used to be able to scrutinize every inch of this man, but now it seems that’s all lost.

  “At the end of the day, the plan worked,” Leo rebukes, not taking any other fact away. “Ashley’s dead.”

  Her cold dead stare will stay with me forever.

  “And what about Langdon Smith?” Lawson asks, pointing out to me. “Does he get to pay for what he did to Eden? Because he planned to kill her and me that night. He only backed off because she left and I came back begging to The Firm.” He drops his arm, looking back his father. “Or do we forget about that because, at the end of the day, Ashley’s dead?”

  “No,” Leo admits, peaking my interest. “I never had full proof he was behind it, but when he mentioned to Eden about it in the bar the other night, one of my guys overhead. We held a meetin’,” Leo tells us, finally being honest with us all. “He and his men will be dealt with … without your input.”

  “I want to kill that bastard,” Lawson remarks, his words nothing short of a growl.

  “No,” Leo stops him, putting a hand up to aid the fact. “You let me deal with this, and you focus on gettin’ better and getting’ over what’s happened.”

  “Some things are easier than others,” Lawson grumbles, glancing over at me before he breaks away. “I’m done with this chat,” he declares, limping away from them, his hand coming to his thigh where the bullet sliced his skin.

  As he leaves the room, I allow my defenses to dwindle. I sink into the couch, feeling every ounce of pain pounding through my body. I give up trying to add myself to any conversation and just wallow in the events that happened.

  When Lawson got to me in that warehouse, I thought I could die happily in his arms. After all, no one said saviors had to be pure. Mine certainly wasn’t. Mine was burned by sins, created by each of them, and every bit as beautiful for it. For the first time, I felt at peace as he came to my aid, sat with me and showed me that, no matter what, he would always trust what I had to say.

  “Leo told me to bring you a drink,” Frazer says, setting a cup of tea down in front of me, pulling me back to hubbub in the room. “And to ask if you needed food … and if you
were comfortable enough.” He starts to move the cushions around me, and I bite my tongue. “He’s got us watchin’ you around the clock.”

  “I’m fine,” I dismiss him, probably harsher than he deserves. I watch Frazer’s face drop as he pulls away, and I reach out with my good arm. “I’m sorry,” I say, holding my hand around his. “I’m just tired.”

  “Then maybe you should get some sleep. Doc did say you’d need it,” he says, showing no fowl from my outburst.

  “He also said I should probably stay at the hospital, but here I am,” I say, settling back against the couch. I give him a small smile. “There’s nothing a few painkillers, and a good sleep won’t fix,” I reply, feigning optimism. I know it’ll take more than two simple things to help, but I can’t stand people mollycoddling me. “I’ll be okay.”

  Before I leave these people for the evening, I want answers and clearer air.

  “If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen,” he says, and I now sense the nervousness in his tone.

  “Frazer?” I ask, allowing my brows to knit together. He stops, looking at me. “Were you worried about me?”

  “Always have been,” he says, giving me a wink. For a moment, everything seemed perfectly normal. “I heard you put up a good fight against Ashley.”

  “I wasn’t prepared to let her get away with it all easily,” I say, repressing the fact that my fight or flight was in overdrive. My jealous rage aided my fight, but my doubtfulness over Lawson had me giving up. “I wanted to help our number one man,” I say, disassociating myself from Lawson being wholly mine. “She deserved what she got.”

  “She sure did,” he says, hearing his name getting called. “You be okay?”

  “Go,” I say, softly dismissing him. I don’t watch him go. Instead, I sit staring at the table. Looking at the tea, knowing there is no way I can find the energy to sit forward, I settle into everything running wild in my head.