Falling Stars (The B–Side)

by J. L. Brooks

  “Holy shit, you are a best seller! It says here you have over twenty-five books published. Wait, what’s this?”

  Mark’s eyes grew large as he started to tap on a few buttons. The muffled sound of techno music started to pound from the phones speakers. Within seconds my voice filled the back area of the restaurant.

  It was my fault. I was an idiot for trying to prove a point, even though it was done in humor. Hearing the video made my resolve crumble. Unwilling to make a scene in front of the guys, I pulled a twenty dollar bill from my wallet and tossed it on the table.

  “Thanks for the invite, Grant. It was nice meeting you guys.”

  They started to protest, but I had already bolted for the door. I slammed my palms against the heavy wooden door, and the sunshine poured over me as I ran back to my cabin. Behind me I could hear Grant catching up to my quick stride.

  “Lila, stop. What’s wrong?”

  His fingers grabbed my arm lightly to spin me around. Tears had already streamed down and whipped across my cheeks.

  “Don’t worry about it. It’s not your problem. I’m sorry. I just. I just don’t . . .”

  Without asking, he pulled me tight against his chest and soothingly rubbed my back. My senses heightened while I pressed against the hard muscle. In between sobs, his spicy cologne permeated my senses with each deep intake of breath. It was earthy and unusual, distracting me from my meltdown. Whispering quietly into my ear, his voice was cathartic, calming me into submission. I giggled through the tear-soaked fabric of his t-shirt.

  “Okay, I get why you are a kindergarten teacher now.”

  “So what finally sold you on it?”

  Grant kept me curled close as we walked the remainder of the way, gently chastising me for pulling away. I was thankful he was reluctant to let me go so easily, despite us just meeting.

  “I don’t know. Something about you is just intriguing. You have a very calming energy about you. It’s not forced or faked. I haven’t quite figured it out, yet.”

  Squeezing my shoulder slightly, he wagged his brows yet did not respond. At the entrance to my patio he released his grip and allowed me to walk in front of him. As I stood in the doorway¸ he did not follow me as I thought he would. Confused I turned around and scrunched my eyes against the sunlight.

  “Is something wrong?” I asked.

  Grant tapped the side of the doorway with his palm while biting his bottom lip. “Nah. I gotta hit the trail. Maybe if you’re up for it you can join us for dinner tonight. We’re having a bonfire after with a few beers.”

  Thinking about the way I embarrassed myself, I rolled the bottom of my shirt nervously.

  “Maybe. I need to write and figure out where I am going after this.”

  He finally took a step into the cabin towards me. Cocking his head to the side, he surveyed me once again.

  “You don’t know where you are going?”

  I gave an apprehensive laugh.

  “In more ways than one . . . No, I haven’t a clue. At some point I need to be in Phoenix and Vegas, but for the next week, it’s just me, myself and I.”

  Feeling suddenly inadequate, I washed my hands and busied myself in the small kitchen to keep from crying again. His silence compounded the emotion as I milled about.

  When he cleared his throat to catch my attention, I stopped wiping the counter and looked up. He was studying me intensely yet looked conflicted. It didn’t take him long to see I was an emotional tornado.

  “Lila, can I take you somewhere later?”

  Nodding in agreement, I was surprised by the invitation. His entire face lit up, and he relaxed instantly.

  “Good, wear tennis shoes and clothes that have some give.”

  I tried to imagine what he had planned, but his earlier mentioning of coming here for years led me to believe it was somewhere in the park.

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  For the rest of the morning I realized my drive had been altered. The characters in my head were affected by the introduction of Grant into my life. They were no longer full of angst and desperation. Subsequently the memories I was drawing from changed as well. Those first sweet moments of my relationship with Hunter surfaced, the way I was instantly drawn to him. How with only a glance he could strip me bare and dive into the deepest caverns of my soul. It was a time when I possessed something I had lost long ago. Hope.

  Was it ridiculous to think an absolute stranger could evoke such passion? Yet hadn’t Hunter done just that? This couldn’t be happening. Not now. It was impossible. I was losing my mind. Overwhelmed by rage at the loss of self-control, I laced up my sneakers and took a run along the river. The blue sky was limitless without a single wisp of cloud painted on the horizon. The river raged loudly next to the small horse trail carved along the edge of the banks. With each stride my lungs burned at the force I pushed my body along.

  After twenty minutes the fire in my legs overwhelmed the guilt fueling me. Stumbling to a slower pace, I grabbed my knees to catch my breath. In the distance I noticed a small sandy area hidden by the rocks. Walking slowly off the trail through the low brush, I maneuvered my way down the large stones to an alcove carved by the strong river. Removing my shoes, I soaked my feet in the cool, calm water. The coolness was a relief from the scorching heat of the afternoon sun. Realizing how hidden the spot was, I took my chances and removed the sweat-soaked clothing adhering to my body. Rinsing them off in the water, I laid them on the rocks to dry as I took a swim. Naked in the vast wilderness, floating peacefully in the water, I found the peace I craved. Goosebumps covered my body from head to toe, yet the hot sun warmed me quickly each time I stepped out for a moment.

  My little piece of paradise kept me occupied for nearly two hours. Knowing that I needed to be writing, I forced myself away from the area, vowing to return later. Content, I dressed and moved towards the outcropping of rocks I needed to climb to get out. Perched within a cutout was Grant, taking a nap with his head leaned against the stone, hugging his helmet to his body. Hearing the gravel beneath my shoes, he turned his head and smiled.

  “I guess our date is off now,” he said with disappointment.

  “Excuse me?” I replied sarcastically. Feeling apprehensive by his presence, I backed away slowly, looking to see how I could get out of the alcove in a different way. Realizing I was frightened, he put his hands up in defeat.

  “Whoa, whoa. Lila. This is where the guys and I come after a ride. I made them leave. I saw you swimming and didn’t want you to be bothered.”

  He seemed genuine, yet the thought of someone watching me so intimately was disturbing.

  “Why did you stay then?” I asked quietly.

  Slipping off of the rocks, he stalked towards me like a lion. “I just told you. I saw you swimming.”

  Stunned, I could not move. A million synapses fired in my brain straight into my core. I should have been terrified, instead I was aroused.

  “Liked what you saw I take it?” Piquing my brow, I did not need him to answer.

  He was an exquisite mountain Adonis that could have anything or anyone he wanted and he knew it. In that moment he wanted me. I swallowed hard and removed my shirt again, tossing it to the ground carelessly. He followed suit and unzipped the skintight cycling jersey. I gasped at the sight of him shirtless. My hands trembled while unbuttoning my shorts and sliding them down and over my ankles. Standing completely nude again, I dared him to move. I didn’t want him to court me, I wanted him to fuck me and make me forget how much pain I was in. After removing his shorts, he approached me slowly, grasping my chin gently to look up at him, but not before I caught the sun glistening off of the barbell running through the head of his cock.

  Holy fuck, he has an ampallang!

  Immediately my mind swirled in a million different directions, all revolving around the image now burned into my mind. Curling his head down, he whispered in my ear.

  “Close your eyes.”

  Obeying his command, I felt his lip
s brush mine. Salty with sweat from hours on his bike, his kiss was primal. I felt my body go flush between the heat and my reaction to his touch. Gliding his hands down my sides to my ass, he pulled me against his chest, his thick erection hot on my belly. As I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, he slid his hands down my thighs, lifting me around his taut waist, and began to carry me towards the water without breaking the kiss. Feverishly I allowed him to explore my body, feeling him take my breast into his mouth as we sank slowly in the cool water. I floated around him, but he did not try to move any faster, content with allowing his hands to roam and his mouth to taste my skin. Impatiently I reached down to take his cock in my hand. I wanted to run my fingers across the piercing and explore it more. His teeth bit down into my shoulder in protest.

  “Not yet, Lila,” he growled.

  “Why not?” I whimpered.

  Grant laughed wickedly into my mouth.

  “Because it is the only bargaining chip I have. I give it to you now I am no good to you. If you stick around, I know it’s more than a random encounter. If not, well, it was nice knowing you, even if only for a day.”

  Doubting his sincerity, I pulled back. “If it’s today or in a few days, how does that change anything?”

  Kissing me again gently he walked out of the water and set me down. “It’s amazing what can happen in a few days. I don’t know you, but there’s something about you. I don’t want to fuck it up. That’s all.”

  He was seriously going to do some damage. If it wasn’t his breathtaking physique that would kill me, it was the raw honesty of his character. Grant was the physical manifest of the men I wrote about. Guys like him didn’t exist, yet here he was shattering any delusions I held about what was real and what was fiction. The lines blurred, and suddenly I no longer cared.

  We traveled back to the lodge in a comfortable silence. Grant pushed his bike along as I took in the scenery from a slower pace. Life suddenly felt perfect. I did not want to confess I felt as though I had lost my grip on reality out of fear and knowing all too soon it would be over.

  Stopping in front of my cabin again, he paused. “You kind of ruined the surprise, so can I take you somewhere else later?”

  I smiled brightly. Every moment I could spend with this man would feed my muse for years to come. I started to chide myself for not writing that morning, yet I was no longer on anyone’s schedule but my own. As long as I hit the deadline, what happened in between was of no concern.

  Settling at the keyboard once more, my fingers moved furiously, tearing through the pages as the story unfolded. Grant had sparked something deep inside of me. It shouldn’t have been this easy to tell the story; it hadn’t been so far. Thank God it was. Reading back over a few sections, I knew it was good. It was by far the best work I had produced yet. Saving the final paragraph, I looked up and realized six hours had passed, and not once did I urinate or eat anything.

  My stomach grumbled in rebellion of the sparse eating habits I had adopted. My appetite had returned in full force. My nose had caught whiff of the delicious aroma of steaks and chicken on the grill. Of course it would be the guys next door. Taking a quick shower, I decided not to wait for Grant to come back. When I walked over to their patio, they cheered in unison. I giggled while looking enviously at the dinner being prepared.

  “You do realize that the smell coming from over here is pure torture. I will give you a hundred bucks to let me eat with you guys tonight.”

  Brian, Alex, TJ, Nate and Eric made up the rest of the group along with Mark and Grant. I had caught their names, but was now putting them to the faces after the breakfast.

  Alex held his palm out towards me. “It’s the least you could do after bogarting our swimming hole.”

  I sneered yet reached into my pocket where I really had a hundred dollar bill at the ready. As I slid it out to hand over, Brian slapped him away.

  “We are not taking your money. You just can’t be naked tomorrow or else Grant will have a shit fit again. We were going to join you, but he would have punched one of us for interrupting you.”

  I couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across my face. Looking around for the source of my delirium, he was noticeably absent. To avoid appearing like a puppy, I asked where the beer was and made myself comfy in one of the canvas camping chairs. As I sat cross-legged, the guys asked me question after question about my books. Nate and TJ had called their wives at home to tell them who they met and requested autographs and copies of certain books if I had them handy. Sadly I didn’t but promised to drive into town to pick them up from a bookstore so they didn’t leave empty-handed.

  It was sweet seeing how thrilled the two men were, knowing they would be taking their spouses something that would make them happy. Like the girl in the airport, I was getting to see how I impacted people’s lives in a way I had not seen before. Mark was manning the grill and called me over to check a steak. I preferred mine a little on the medium side, which the others balked at.

  “Look, I don’t have a dick. I prefer not to risk e-coli from my foods. I have nothing to prove.”

  The men chuckled in between mouthfuls of food. There were foil packets of sliced peppers, grilled corn and asparagus spears wrapped in bacon. I moaned loudly while the grease dripped from my fingers onto the plate. My eyes were closed as

  I chomped merrily, enjoying the delicious meal. I opened them to see Grant standing in the doorway with a towel wrapped around his waist. How long he had been there I was unsure. He cocked his head slightly and smiled. I wanted to ask him if he knew he did that when he looked at me, as I noticed he did it no other time. I found his quirk endearing. He held up a finger to indicate he would be back shortly. A few of the guys watched the silent interaction, unsure of what exactly to make of it.

  Thankfully I did not feel awkward in their presence. If nothing else I felt completely at home. Running around with my brother had made me appreciate the simplicity of men. There were no games. The more direct you were, the more respect you got. There was no confusion in their actions. Despite his restraint, I knew Grant wanted to take me by the river. I wondered if he had sisters or minored in psychology with his ability to read my feelings and diffuse them quickly. Then again, adults and children still have the same baser needs. Affirmed when unsure, disciplined when unrestrained, and loved at all times.

  Grant had walked onto the patio in the same hooded jacket from earlier and striped jogging pants. Realizing that I had taken his seat, I stood up quickly for him to sit down and eat. His finger looped through my belt loop and pulled me down onto his lap. I looked at the other men, but there was no judgment of our actions. Sensing my tension, he rubbed my hips slowly and along my spine with this thumbs.

  “You need to eat. I can run next door and grab a chair.” When I tried to stand again, he held me in place on his lap.

  “I will in a bit. Relax.”

  Exhaling a deep breath, I didn’t fight it. Nate handed us both another beer, and the men went over the next day’s plans together as I quietly listened. Hearing about the route they biked that day and the one they planned out sounded incredible. I would be frightened to cross some of the boulders on a bike, yet they lived for it. All of the men belonged to intense gyms and used the terms snatch, box, thrusters and wod repeatedly. I had never tried it and had no intention of ever trying after hearing how rigorous the workouts were. Any activity where puking or crying was praised was a huge turn off. However, if the members looked like this group of guys, I felt like I would be changing my mind rather quickly.

  The lodge was setting up the bonfire in the distance, and the others packed a cooler and headed down ahead of us. I moved to another chair, and Grant fixed a plate of food that had to have been cold.

  “Why didn’t you eat when it was hot?” I asked while popping the cap off of another IPA. I was finished writing for the evening and had every intention of getting trashed. I had set the bottle of tequila on the deck to grab and share with the guys as a peace offering for
taking off earlier.

  “Because I want to spend some time with you alone.”

  I nodded in understanding. “So time alone after the fire is out of the question?” I gave a fake pout, knowing what the answer would be. He might have been a man, but he was a gentleman.

  “We’ll see.” He smirked back.

  Grant wrapped his arm around my lower back as we walked down to the lodge. The air was crisp with a slight breeze as night settled in upon the valley. I knew to wear a thick sweater and sweatpants after the first night of working on the porch. It wasn’t the sexiest attire, but meeting someone here was never my intention. As I looked up at Grant, he returned my gaze with ease. His soul was tranquil in a way I had never known—in a way I envied. It radiated out of him and changed whomever it came into contact with. He came across as stoic at first, then you realized he was simply unmoved by his surroundings.

  After hearing about his rebuke of the others at the swimming hole, I was even more curious what they really thought of me.

  He didn’t appear the type to give himself so readily to a stranger. Then again, for the most part neither was I. I stopped trying to analyze the situation and enjoyed his presence for however long I was privileged enough to revel in it.

  The massive fire was raging down the hill from the cabins. Several groups were congregated in different areas, sitting in camping chairs or on the logs surrounding the pit. Not having a chair, I walked towards the logs, yet was pulled back to the group.

  “I can share, I don’t mind.”

  With a mischievous grin, Grant popped open his seat and motioned for me to sit down on his lap. Alex tossed over a small flannel blanket and allowed me to snuggle into Grant’s lap even more. His arm wrapped possessively around my waist as he grazed his thumb across the dip in between my ribs and hipbone.

  “Don’t your friends think this is weird? You just met me this morning.”

  As he pulled me close, his voice was firm. “Don’t worry about what my friends think. Does it really matter?”