Heart of the Music (Saints & Sinners #1)

by Kaithlin Shepherd

  They both sat there in silence for a few minutes until she spoke up. “You do that to me.”

  “I do what to you?” he asked her.

  For a minute, she let herself be vulnerable. “You make me forget all of my insecurities. It doesn’t matter what they are or who created them. Every time you look at me or touch me, they disappear.” She took a deep breath as she waited for him to say or do something.

  When he didn’t speak, she decided that since they were going down memory lane, she would clear up some of her own questions. “Why did you stop that night?” She didn’t have to tell him what night she was talking about; she knew he would know exactly what she was referring to. But just in case, she went on, “All night, I was watching you with that blonde bimbo, and I couldn’t see what you saw in her. Then you came over and we started drinking. We were having fun, but then you… you…” She couldn’t look at him as she continued reliving one of the most humiliating moments of her life. “And then you kissed me and I….”

  “And you what, Trish?” He took her face in his hands and turned her, so she had no other choice but to look at him.

  “Damn you, I was so turned on. It was like you were reading my mind that night, like you knew what I wanted, what I needed, but then you stopped. I was so angry. I was so hot and you left me like that. You said you wanted me sober and alert when you fucked me, as if you were ever going to fuck me. I went home that night and I… oh, never mind.”

  Jarrod

  “What did you do, Trish?” He knew what she did, because he went home and did the same thing. But he wanted, no, needed to hear her say it. His original plan had been to get her to admit her feelings, but they were doing so much more than that. They were clearing up the past to make room for the future.

  “Oh, God, I went home and I got myself off to the thought of us finishing what we started, okay? Are you happy now?” she told him, sounding out of breath.

  “Did you imagine it was me touching you? ‘Cause I imagined your mouth on my cock as I got myself off that night.” He was hard as a rock right now, and his erection was pushing against the zipper of his jeans, threatening to embarrass him if he didn’t get a handle on things.

  “Jar, we can’t do this. I can’t go down this road with you, because if I do, I won’t be coming back.”

  That was all she needed to say, and with that, he made his move. “Then don’t come back.” He didn’t give her a second to think about what they were doing. He crushed his lips onto hers, finally taking what he’d been dreaming of since that night five years ago.

  He wasn’t asking permission to kiss her; he took everything she had to give him and demanded more. She pushed him against the elevator wall and surprised him by straddling him. He took her face in his hands and kissed her with all the passion that had been building up. When she rocked her hips into his erection, he moaned her name as he took the kiss even deeper. He could smell her arousal in the air. When she bit his bottom lip, he groaned into her mouth and lost it. He took her ass in his hands and pressed her against his erection, giving her what she was silently begging him for. When she moaned against his lips, it told him all he needed to know. She needed this as much as he did.

  With one swift move, he had Trish on her back and his body covering hers. He took his time kissing the hollow of her neck, and as he nibbled where her collarbone met her neck, she called out his name. Fuck, that was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard. He didn’t care where they were, he needed her, and he needed to make her feel as desperate as he was. He unzipped her jeans and slipped his hand beneath the material to find her hot and wet.

  “You’re so wet,” he whispered in her ear, and she moaned his name again. His name coming from her lips was something that would forever be engraved on his memory. She writhed beneath him, and he realized his little wildcat liked her dirty talk. Well, who was he to deny her what she wanted? He was a giver, after all. He teased her, stroked her, but never gave her what she really needed.

  “Do you like it when I tease you like this?” he whispered against her ear before nipping her earlobe with his teeth. He slid a finger inside her just to make his point. “You’re so fucking tight and wet. Do you like me finger fucking you?”

  “Jarrod, please, I’m so close.” It blew his mind how responsive she was to his touch. God, he knew she would be perfect, but he never imagined she would be this beautiful. She was everything he could ever want, and the way she demanded her pleasure turned him on more than she probably knew.

  If she wanted it, she was going to have to ask for it. “Tell me what you need.” He couldn’t believe how good she felt. It took every ounce of self-control not to strip her naked and plunge into her.

  “I need to come. Please, make me come,” she begged him, her voice laced with desperation. As soon as the question left her lips, he added another finger and started moving them in and out of her. When he rubbed her clit, she shuddered beneath him. She was so damn hot, and seeing her fly almost had him coming in his jeans. Jarrod didn’t stop moving his fingers. Pressing down on her clit, he sent her spiraling into an orgasm as she screamed his name.

  “Fucking beautiful,” he told her before kissing her like his life depended on it.

  “Mr. Banks, Miss Monroe, we got the power back on, so we should have you out of there in no time.” He knew the second he heard the voice on the speaker that the spell was broken. Her whole body tensed under him. He cursed the interruption. But now that he’d had a taste of her, there was no way he was letting her close herself up again.

  “I guess playtime is over… for now,” he said as stood. He helped her to her feet. As she zipped up her jeans, the elevator started moving again. He steadied her when she stumbled, but she quickly moved out of his hold and to the other side of the elevator.

  They both stood there in silence, and when they reached the lobby, she looked at him. Her next words challenged him to make her see what they could have. “That should have never happened. It was a mistake.”

  Before he could respond to her, the doors opened, revealing all the guys, who were waiting for them. Jarrod grabbed her by the arm, spun her around, and leaned into her ear to whisper, “That was anything but a mistake.” With that, she pulled away and walked right past the guys, who were all fussing about her, while Sam stayed behind studying him with a million questions in his eyes.

  “What happened in there?” Sam asked with a smirk on his face.

  “Us,” and that was all he said before he walked straight to the hotel bar, needing to cool off before he had to be in close quarters with Patricia again. They weren’t done, not by a long shot.

  Chapter Three

  4 years ago

  Jarrod

  “Come on, it won’t be that bad! It’s just a few houses, and you know how little I know about electricity and plumbing…. Pretty please.” He was such a sucker when it came to the woman in front of him; he couldn’t tell her no. It didn’t matter what she needed, he would always give it to her, and nothing could ever change that. She had been dreaming and talking about buying her first house for months now, and today, she looked like a kid who had just received a smiley face in kindergarten. He wanted to be the one responsible for that look every day, but he would settle for little moments like these—for now.

  “You owe me for this, Trish. I’m not kidding. There are a million other things I could be doing right now on my only day off this month.” Who was he kidding? There was nowhere else he would rather be than right here with her.

  When they pulled into the driveway of the lakeside country home, her eyes went wide and a smile spread across her face. “Now this is way more like it,” he said, parking the car at the side of the house. After the disastrous visit at the last house, this was definitely more like her.

  “Oh, my God, this house is beautiful.” Before he knew it, his little firecracker was out of the car and running to the backyard. By the time he got there, she was sitting in the grass, staring at the lake. She looked s
o beautiful and peaceful; he knew this was the house she had been looking for.

  Content, he sat down behind her. “This house is perfect,” she told him as she leaned into his body, making him feel things he had no right feeling.

  He refused to name the reasons he cared so much about doing this with her. “The house is perfect, Trish. Is this what you were looking for?” he asked while running his hands up and down her arms. If it was up to him, they would stay here, like this, forever.

  Looking straight at the water, she said on a sigh, “Yes, it is.” There was so much more to those words than having found the perfect house, but he knew better than to push her. He didn’t want to ruin this moment by asking what he knew she wasn’t ready to answer yet. They toured the house, and he watched her expression brighten even more as she fell in love with the property. It was even more perfect than she expected. The kitchen and dining room were all modern, but with a rustic feel, which suited her perfectly. There were two bathrooms, and three bedrooms, including a gorgeous master bedroom with a walk-in closet and a master bathroom attached, both of which made her sigh.

  As they made their way around the house, he loved how her face kept lighting up every time they went into a new room. When they entered one of the smaller bedrooms, he couldn’t help but imagine living in this house with her and having their child in this room. And then it hit him like a ton of bricks. He was in love with her. He had been attracted to her since the first night they’d met, but standing in this room, thinking about his future with her, he knew he fucking loved her.

  She walked straight up to the real estate agent waiting for them and with a big smile on her face, stated “Amy, I need this house!”

  “Well then, let’s all sit down and we can make an offer. Will you be buying it by yourself, or will your husband be buying it with you?” They looked at each other and erupted in laughter.

  After what seemed like an eternity of chuckling, Patricia looked at Amy and smiled. “We’re not married…. I mean, we’re not a couple. We’re just friends.” He hated the sting of her words because to him, this was a lot more than friendship, but he knew she needed time, and he wasn’t going anywhere.

  “I am so sorry. I just thought, well, I mean, I assumed you two were a couple. The way you looked at each other and all…. I am so sorry.” The poor woman looked horrified as she spoke, which just made the whole situation funnier.

  He smiled as Trish reached for the older woman’s hand. “It’s okay. You’re not the first one to think so, and you won’t be the last either,” Jarrod told her.

  Present Day

  Jarrod

  “Kinda early for whiskey.” Sam sat down beside him at the bar and signaled the bartender to bring them another round. “Want to tell me what happened in there?” As much as he wanted to tell Sam, he was still trying to make sense of it himself.

  “What happened in there is that woman is the most stubborn human being on the face of this fucking planet. That’s what happened in there. She acts like she doesn’t fucking care or doesn’t have feelings for me, but I know that’s bullshit, Sam. Fuck, everyone knows it’s bullshit. And then I got a taste of something in that elevator I can’t block out of my mind. She opened up to me in there. She also drives me fucking insane.” Jarrod downed his whiskey in one gulp and tapped his glass, asking the bartender for a refill. He doubted there was enough fucking alcohol in the world to numb his feelings, but he wasn’t immune to trying.

  He knew he was about to get one of Sam’s famous life talks. “You know, about four years ago, after we celebrated the record deal, she came over to my house. She was flushed and looked confused, but most of all, she was fucking angry. When I asked her what happened, she told me you two kissed after we all left and how you pushed her away. Man, she was so pissed at you for doing that, but you know what she was more ballistic about? That she let it happen because it opened a door to something she had been holding back for over a year. That girl has been in love with you since the first night she met you, and it scares the living shit out of her, Jar. You need to break through that fear. She has a lot of pressure on her back right now—from the label, from management, hell, even from us. Add her feelings for you to the equation, and you’ve got one hell of a confused woman, who’s afraid of letting anyone down. If you love her as much as I think you do, you’ll have to fight for her, man. We both know she’s worth it.” Sam got up and left him alone at the bar, leaving him more determined than ever to make her his.

  The next morning, Jarrod woke up feeling like shit, and spending the day on a bus with Trish ignoring him the day before hadn’t helped either. He forced himself out of bed and changed into workout clothes. The one thing that had always helped him focus while on the road was working out. There was something satisfying about pushing your body beyond its limits. When he walked into the hotel gym and he saw her on the treadmill, he was convinced she would tuck tail and run. But when she saw him, she smiled at him like nothing had ever happened, and just for that, he knew he would have to run a couple extra miles to get that look out of his system.

  “You look like you’ve been at it for a while,” he told her as he climbed onto the treadmill next to her. He always loved watching her exercise. There was something captivating about the way her body moved. She had a woman’s body with curves in all the right places, and he loved that they shared a passion for healthy living.

  “I had some extra energy to work out before we hit the bus.” Her answer shocked him. He grinned because it meant what happened in the elevator was affecting them both.

  “I know the feeling,” he said as he started running at a steady rhythm.

  “What happened in the elevator can’t happen again, Jarrod. I let myself go yesterday. I should have had more control. I work for you, and I just can’t.”

  “You have all these excuses for why this shouldn’t happen, but what about all the reasons why this was meant to happen? What do you do about those? Because I can’t deny the way I feel when we’re together, and if that makes me an asshole, I don’t care. You can keep telling yourself this shouldn’t happen, but we both know it needs to. I fucking care about you, Trish, and I know you feel the same about me. So when you’re ready to admit it, I’ll be here, but don’t think, for one second, that I’m going to stop pushing for what we both want.” He didn’t give her a chance to say anything. Instead, he put his earbuds in and blasted the band’s new album mix in his ears as he watched her walk away—again.

  Patricia

  She had never been more thankful in her life to have five shows in a row. Staying busy was the only thing keeping her mind off what happened in the elevator and their run-in at the gym the following morning. Jarrod’s words were on replay in her head, and the intensity on his face haunted her dreams. She couldn’t get a break from the man. So far, she had managed to avoid being alone with him, but she knew it couldn’t last forever. They shared a tour bus and were together more than any married couple.

  She was aware that the guys had noticed the fact that she was avoiding him, but none of them asked about what had transpired in the elevator. As much as they shared every detail about their lives, she loved them for giving her the space she needed and not pushing the issue. Sam kept asking her if she was all right, and every time she told him she was fine, he gave her a look that said bullshit, but he didn’t push the matter. She suspected Jarrod had told him what had taken place in the elevator, or at least part of it. She wanted to forget about how it felt to come undone under him, but she couldn’t do it because no matter how many times she had fantasized about it, nothing had ever come close to reality.

  After a long stretch of back-to-back shows, the guys had insisted that they all go out to dinner. She had tried to talk them into not making her go, but the one downside about working with friends was that they knew exactly when to call her out on her crap. She had been surprised when the guys had picked a really nice restaurant since they usually went for burger joints—not that she minded.
She had gone shopping earlier in the day and found a gorgeous purple, one shoulder strap, lace dress that showed a lot of her back and ended just above her knees with part of the back open. She knew she shouldn’t have bought it, but when she’d seen it, all she could think about was the look on Jarrod’s face when he saw her in it. She treated herself to some time at the spa. After all, she deserved a little reward every now and then.

  She was putting the final touches to her make-up when someone knocked on her door. She expected it to be Sam coming to tell her they were all ready to go, but when she opened the door, Jarrod was standing in front of her, wearing a black button-down shirt and dark jeans. He looked like something out of a GQ magazine, sporting a five o’clock shadow. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. He looked so good, she almost forgot she was trying to avoid being alone with him.

  “Are you going to let me in or make me stand out here?” She hadn’t realized she had been staring at him for longer than she should have. She actually considered making Jarrod stay outside while she finished getting ready. She didn’t know if she could handle being in close quarters with him, not with what had happened in the elevator.

  “Sorry, come in. I’m almost ready to go,” she said, stepping out of the doorway to let him in, catching the smell of cologne as he brushed by her. Yeah, she definitely should have made him wait outside.

  “Take your time. We’re still waiting on Mike, anyway,” he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, his eyes never leaving her.

  She opened one of the shopping bags and took out a black box containing silver earrings. “I swear that man takes longer to get ready than I do.”