Heart of the Music (Saints & Sinners #1)

by Kaithlin Shepherd

  “Yeah, but he never looks as gorgeous as you do right now. That dress is something else.” She felt her whole body blush as he complimented her. Damn, the man was good with words. It was great when he used it to write hit songs, but when he used it to charm her, it threw her off her axis.

  “It’s just a dress, Jarrod. It’s nothing fancy,” she told him in her best serious voice as she turned around to face him. She put her hand in her hair, pulling it up, and before she realized what she was doing, she asked for his opinion. “What do you think? Up or Down?”

  “Up.” She nodded as she clipped her hair in a simple updo. As she was distracted, he asked her the dreaded question. “So, are we going to talk about what happened, or are we going to keep avoiding each other and the subject all together?”

  Patricia knew the moment would come when they’d have to talk about what happened, but she really didn’t want to have the conversation tonight. His words at the hotel gym were still fresh in her mind. She didn’t think she could handle much more at the moment. “There’s nothing to talk about, Jarrod. Let’s just forget it ever happened.”

  She was facing the mirror, putting the final touches on her lipstick, when she felt him walk toward her. She could see his face in the mirror, and the intensity in his eyes made her yearn for his touch.

  “Only one problem with that plan, sweetheart, it did happen.” The scent of his cologne filled her senses, almost making her knees buckle. God, she had it bad if smelling him got to her this much.

  A knock on the door interrupted them and Jarrod threw his head back. “If it’s Sam again, I will kill him.”

  When she opened the door, she wasn’t surprised to find Sam at her door. He leaned into the door and saw Jarrod. “Good, you’re both here, saves me a floor. We’re all ready to go, so if you two are done doing whatever dance you’re doing with each other, can we please get going? Because Austin is about to eat the cocktail waitress for dinner, if we don’t feed him first.”

  When they arrived at the restaurant, she was surprised to find the guys had rented the whole restaurant. They weren’t the type to go all out or to spend this much money on a night out. It was one of the things she loved most about them. Some bands rented pools in Vegas for a night, but her guys preferred to have barbeque and throw down some beers. It made her job as a publicist that much easier. So when she noticed the empty restaurant, she was confused. She turned to Austin and asked, “What’s going on?”

  “You’ll see,” was all he told her. She went through today’s date in her brain, trying to see if she forgot a birthday or a special occasion. That was when it hit her, four years ago to the day, they had signed their record deal. She had been so caught up in her problems with Jarrod it had completely escaped her.

  “You know you’re like family, right?” Austin pulled her in for a hug and kissed the top of her hair.

  Okay, now she was officially nervous about what they had planned. As they walked past the entrance, she took off her jacket and handed it to the concierge. Walking into the dining room, she was shocked. The restaurant, which normally sat two hundred, could now only seat six at a round table with a piano in the corner, and all the guys’ musical gear was set up. “Okay, someone needs to tell me what the hell is going on before I start freaking out.”

  They all laughed together. “I think you’re already freaking out,” she heard Mike say as they made their way to the table. Could they blame her?

  When everyone was settled, Sam stood up, and started talking. She knew she should have opted for waterproof mascara. “I would like to propose a toast to the most amazing publicist and best friend anyone could ever ask for. Today, four years ago, we signed our first record deal because of all of your hard work, and for that, we could never thank you enough. Over the last five years, you have become the sister I never had, and every day I am so proud to call you my friend because you make us all want to be better men. Thank you!”

  When Sam finished his speech, tears had filled her eyes. “You’re going to make me cry, Sam. I love you, you know that, but all of this was completely unnecessary.” Before she could get her emotions under control, Austin stood up, smiling from ear to ear when her eyes widened in surprise, “Oh no, you’re not all going to do this, are you?”

  When none of them replied, she knew she was in for it. “Dammit, I should have worn waterproof mascara.”

  Austin lifted his champagne-filled glass. “I never thought a woman would be able to stand all five of us together in one room, so never in a million years did I expect some gorgeous little thing from North Carolina—sorry, Jar, it had to be said—to be able to withstand all of us on a bus 24/7. It has been pure joy to have you with us and for me to be able to look at your beautiful ass every day for the past five years. When we signed that record deal four years ago, you could have walked away, but you stayed and helped me scare hundreds of women away, so thank you!”

  Leave it to Austin to make his speech about the number of crazy ladies she’d chased away over the years. The man drew more women than a man could ever dream of, but again, just like all of the other guys, he was never disrespectful and upfront about not giving them more than one night. “Count on me to check IDs and chase the crazies away for you!”

  “I guess it’s my turn now,” she heard Tyler say. “You know I’m not good at this stuff, so I’ll make it short. I don’t know where we would be as a band if you hadn’t walked into that bar five years ago. You are truly a gift to us. It doesn’t matter if it’s 1 p.m. or 2 a.m., you are always there when I need you. I never had that outside of these guys before, so thank you.” She loved these guys more than life itself, but right then, she hated them for making her cry.

  Mike handed her a tissue before he took his turn. “Man, we made her cry.” Everyone laughed, including her. “We had a rocky start, me and you. I didn’t think a woman could do this job, or what we couldn’t do, but you stuck to your guns and you proved me wrong. I was an ass back then and you stood toe-to-toe with me and put me back in my place. You, shorty, are one helluva woman.”

  Everyone went silent and all eyes at the table landed on Jarrod. She suddenly felt dizzy with anticipation. “Everyone at this table knows that five years ago, when you walked into that bar, I had every intention of putting my famous southern charm to work; but looking back now, I’m sure glad I didn’t because I have gotten to know the most incredible woman I have ever met. You are smart, beautiful, compassionate, driven, and you are always there for each of us. Every day, I discover something new about you—like how you don’t like anchovies, you love reading Tolstoy, you twitch your nose when you’re nervous, and you would fight for any of us until your last breath. You are my perfect fit.”

  No one said a word. It was so quiet you could hear the wind hit the outside window. When he told her he wasn’t going to back off, he wasn’t kidding. Damn, the man knew exactly what to say to make her heart break right open. She knew she had to break the silence and awkwardness before it got out of control. “You guys are the best. You might drive me crazy from time to time, but you are my family, and nothing is ever going to change that…. Now let’s eat because I’m starving.”

  The food was beyond amazing, and she felt more relaxed than she had in a long time. They ate and talked about everything and anything from Austin’s date the night before, to the new songs they were working on, which she got a glimpse of. She loved watching them play acoustic; there was something so intimate about hearings songs this raw, the way they were created. She felt Jarrod’s eyes on her most of the night and caught some of the looks he and Sam exchanged. Patricia knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid the conversation much longer, but tonight she didn’t want to think about it.

  As the waiters brought dessert—her favorite, chocolate cake—she got hit with the big question of the night from Mike. “So, since no one is asking you, I will break the ice…. Why did you say no to the job with Universal?” She shouldn’t be surprised they knew about that, but this was an
other conversation she couldn’t avoid, and apparently the guys didn’t want to either.

  She took a deep breath before explaining why she’d turned down a job offer most people would die for. “I didn’t take the job because I don’t want to be in an office, only hitting the road once in a while. That’s not who I am.”

  She took another bite before she added, “Plus, you guys would be completely lost without me.” With that, the tension melted and laughter erupted. Jarrod was staring at her with a look that told her he knew there was more to the story than she was letting on, and he wasn’t going to drop it. The truth was she hadn’t accepted the job because the passion she’d once had for her job wasn’t quite there anymore. She was stuck in a rut, and taking a job in the same field wasn’t going to solve that. Plus, the guys wouldn’t be the only ones lost if she left.

  The night went on; they drank some more, the band treated her to some new songs, and when the time came to go home, Jarrod pulled her aside. “Stay with me.”

  Patricia knew she shouldn’t, that she should get in the cab with the guys, head back to her hotel room and sleep. But she wanted—no needed—to stay with him. And without even looking at the other guys, she made her choice. “You guys go ahead. We’ll catch you in the morning.” And with that, they found themselves alone in the restaurant.

  Jarrod

  Jarrod hadn’t meant to put her on the spot, but he wasn’t ready for this night to end. And, if he was honest with himself, he didn’t want to let her go either. When he’d pulled her aside and asked her to stay, he hadn’t expected her to say yes, but lately she was full of surprises. He had no idea what he wanted to do, but he honestly didn’t care, as long as she was with him. Having her near him quieted the noise and chaos in his head. No matter where they were or what they were doing, she made him happy. He would do anything just to spend time with her, and he wasn’t ashamed to admit it.

  “So what did you want to do with the rest of the night?” she asked while putting her jacket on.

  As he was doing the same, he suggested, “The concierge at the hotel told me there was this really great outdoor café in the park a few blocks away. We could go check it out.” As much as he wanted her to like the idea, they could be in a dive bar and it wouldn’t matter to him because she would be there with him.

  “That sounds great,” she said, sounding happy as he held the door open for her.

  They walked in silence for a few blocks, and while they were waiting to cross at a red light, he looked at her. “You look beautiful tonight, by the way.” A blush stole across her cheeks, and he found it so incredibly sexy.

  He expected her to disregard his comment, or to say some silly thing, but what she said surprised him. “Thank you. You look pretty handsome yourself.”

  Then she did the most unexpected thing—she took his hand in hers and linked her fingers with his. In that moment, he knew their relationship was changing. That little gesture told him her guard was down, and he loved how he could affect her that way.

  They talked about the tour, how much they missed a home-cooked meal and their own beds, and to Jarrod, it was perfect. When they arrived at the outdoor café, he heard her gasp as she took in her surroundings, and with reason. The scenery was beautiful with a café in the middle of a garden, lit by some lanterns. It was almost as beautiful as she looked, but not quite. They waited in line, and when their turn came, the server recognized him instantly. He loved meeting his fans, but tonight he wished he was just a normal guy on a date. Regrettably, lack of privacy was part of the job.

  “Shit, man, you’re Jarrod Banks,” the server said loud enough for the few people around to hear him, gathering a few camera flashes and gasps.

  “Indeed I am,” he told the kid, before looking at Trish with a smile. They were used to people recognizing them, but tonight, the only person he wanted to be around was the woman holding his hand and smiling at him like he was her whole world. He had waited so long for this, and he didn’t want anything to ruin it.

  “I am, like, your biggest fan,” the teenager said, almost crawling out of his skin with excitement. This was why Jarrod loved what he did and the reason he didn’t mind the cameras and the traveling. Knowing his music could touch someone’s life was one of the best feelings in the world. “Can I have your autograph?”

  “Yeah, what’s your name?” he asked the kid, as he took the napkin he was handed.

  “Eric.” He looked between Trish and Jarrod. “Are you his girlfriend?” Eric questioned her, smiling as Jarrod signed the napkin. He felt her tense up for a few seconds, and he couldn’t wait to hear what she was going to say.

  It took her a few seconds to reply, “I’m just a friend.” Her response shocked him. She didn’t say she was his publicist; she said she was a friend. This was progress he could work with.

  Jarrod gave Eric their order, and when he came back with their coffees, he looked at Jarrod and declared, “She’s pretty,” which made Jarrod laugh because pretty was an understatement to describe Trish.

  He took the coffees from him and said, “Yes, yes she is.”

  They walked to an empty table, and he was fucking thrilled when she sat down beside him. He loved having her close to him. They stayed at the café for over an hour, talking about everything and anything. She was more comfortable with him, and he couldn’t remember a time he’d spent with a woman that came close to what he was feeling tonight.

  “I don’t want to fight this anymore, Jar. I’m exhausted,” she told him as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

  “We don’t have to fight this, Trish. I don’t care what anyone has to say about us. No one gets to tell me how to live my life…apart from my mom.” He laughed, and when he heard her giggle, he knew they would be okay. It might be a long process to get her to where he was, but he never backed away from a challenge.

  When it became too cold to stay outside, they headed back to the hotel. The need to feel her, to hold her, was overwhelming. He pulled her into his body, and as her head rested on his chest, she relaxed in his arms. In terms of best days of his life, this one ranked pretty high on the scale.

  Patricia pulled away from him slightly, moved onto the tip of her toes, and pressed her lips to his. In that moment, he knew he was done for. Her kiss was gentle, unlike the other ones they’d shared. She let herself be vulnerable, and he did the same. She wasn’t just kissing him, she was opening her soul to him, and he was taking everything she had to give. Her arms went around his neck as she pulled him closer, and he groaned into the kiss, desperate to feel more of her. She pulled away first. Eyes locked, they stared at each other for a few seconds before he lowered his mouth to hers.

  He didn’t care that they were kissing in the middle of the street, or that anyone could see them and take a picture. As he took her mouth, all he fucking cared about was claiming her as his, and with every passing second, that was exactly what he did. When he pulled away, her lips were swollen from his kiss and her face was flushed. He took her hand and neither of them said a word as they continued walking back to the hotel. They were greeted by a few fans who wanted autographs and photos.

  It took him about half an hour to get through the crowd and make his way back to her. “You ready?” she asked him. He gave her a quick kiss, took her hand, and walked toward the elevator.

  When they arrived on her floor, they headed silently to her room. Reaching her door, he leaned against the wall and waited for her to say something.

  “What happens when this ends, Jarrod? What do we do after one of us ends up with a broken heart? We work together. It’s not like we can escape each other after it all goes to hell”

  Fear laced her words; hell, he was scared too. To ease her worries, he’d play by her rules, for now.

  “The only problem with that, sweetheart, is that you’re afraid we’ll end before we ever got started. But trust me when I say, you and me, we’re never going to quit each other. We’re already in it. I’m in so deep I feel like I’m
drowning. So, when you realize you’re right there with me, let me know.” He kissed her forehead, and smiled when she shivered under his touch, before walking away from her. She might not be ready yet, but he wasn’t going anywhere. He was ready to wait for as long as it took.

  Chapter Four

  4 years ago

  Patricia

  Patricia couldn’t believe this was really happening. After months of non-stop work, the guys were finally getting signed by a major label. Sitting in the corner booth of the restaurant where the label executives had taken them to celebrate the news, she looked around at each of the guys, from her corner table, and a smile filled her face. These five men were her family now. They meant the world to her, and to see them this happy made her a little emotional.

  “What are you doing sitting alone over here? This is as much your victory as ours. Have a drink, Trish.” She looked up at Sam as he spoke to her, and she couldn’t help but smile at him when she saw how truly overjoyed he appeared.

  “I’m just taking it all in. It’s almost like I don’t believe it’s actually real, you know? You guys have worked so hard for this, and I’m just so damn happy, Sam.”

  Sam sat down next to her in the booth, and as soon as he slid over, she knew he had figured out why she was sitting alone in the corner. She had a clear view of Jarrod. Tonight, he had a blonde supermodel on his arm, who was drinking fruity little drinks and was wearing a dress that was too short for any woman to wear. She stuck to him like glue. Jarrod had always been popular with women—well, he and Austin—but tonight he seemed distracted and not into his date, which was uncharacteristic of him. He kept glancing over Trish’s way, and she hated how she couldn’t tear her eyes away.

  When the blonde leaned in to kiss him, Trish looked at Sam. “I need a drink or ten.”

  “Whiskey?” he asked her with a smile.