Ashes & Embers Series Collection (Books 1 to 4)

by Carian Cole

  “I read that shit online with Jason this morning and it really fucking pissed me off. I knew tonight would have to be different because I have to show you that what you did disrespects what we have and that I don’t ever want to read words like that again,” he continues, turning the shoe over in his hand. “As you know, there’s a reason for the dress and the shoes. All day I’ve been thinking about how I can discipline you and how much I’m going to enjoy it.” He lifts my foot and slides the shoe onto it. “You’re going to enjoy it, too, aren’t you?”

  I don’t say anything, but his words affect me in so many different, naughty ways.

  I want to know what he wants to do to me and I shiver thinking of the ecstasy he has in store for me. I keep my other foot flat on the floor in defiance, knowing that it only ignites him. I know it’s bad, but I enjoy taunting him and provoking him because the feeling of the unknown with him turns me on and sends tingles straight to my core.

  “Now put this one on.” He holds the other shoe up and I slide my foot in.

  “They’re really hard to walk in,” I say, sniffling.

  He moves my hair to the side and kisses my exposed neck. “You’re not going to be walking,” he whispers against my ear. “I think we need to have a little lesson.” He reaches into his pocket, and I hear the jangling of something metal.

  “Give me your hands, Tabitha.”

  I put my hands behind my back, and he wraps what feels like a thin, metal chain around my wrists. No silk ribbon tonight.

  “Stand up.”

  I stand, wanting to pull the dress down that has ridden up to my ass, but I can’t as now my hands are tied. I feel horribly slutty in this dress.

  He runs his hands from my ankles, up my calves, over my thighs, tantalizing me slowly until he squeezes my ass. I feel his lips and then his teeth on my ass cheek as his hand slips between my thighs and his middle finger slides between my delicate, wet lips.

  “You still want me, don’t you?” he asks, pushing his finger up inside me.

  “Yes.”

  He pushes another finger inside me. “You don’t even hesitate to answer.”

  “Because I know what I want, unlike you.” The words come out before I can stop myself, and his fingers tense up inside me, no longer caressing me.

  “Is that right?” A hint of sarcastic amusement laces his deep voice.

  He stands, his fingers still inside me, and pulls my head back to him by my hair with his other, causing my scalp to burn. “I know exactly what I want, darlin’. And I’m going to fucking show you. While I’m at it, you’re going to learn how to behave so we don’t have any more social media fuckery.”

  He lets go of my hair and pulls his fingers out of me, causing me to lose my balance a little. I wobble for a moment before he catches my arm to steady me. He pulls something else out of his pocket and holds it up in front of me.

  “I bought you a present today. You know, while I was out meeting other women, as you so nicely accused.”

  I try to focus on the object and realize it’s a small bullet vibrator. “Spread your legs a little more,” he commands. When I do, I feel him slowly slide the vibrator into me, flipping the tiny switch. It buzzes and vibrates deep inside my pelvis.

  “Turn around.”

  Once I’m facing him, he takes the sunglasses off the top of his head and places them on the table, then slowly takes off his faded leather jacket. My vintage leather fetish sparks up and the urge to feel and smell the leather rises.

  “Do you want to know what I want?” he asks.

  “Yes,” I answer, trying to ignore the vibrator, how wet it’s making me, and how my muscles are clenching involuntarily around it.

  “I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay here, in my house, and be my sub. I want to come home to you waiting for me, dressed in lingerie or whatever other outfit I left for you. I want to tie you up and fuck your brains out all night and hear you whimper my name.”

  He pulls his shirt over his head and starts to unbuckle his belt, then continues. “I want you to fall asleep naked in my arms so I can take you whenever I want to.” He pushes his jeans and boxers down, kicks his boots off, and steps out of his pants. “And I’d like to wake up with your lips around my cock.”

  Please tell me you love me. Give me something to show me it’s not a game.

  He reaches between my legs and gives the vibrator a push. “You better not come unless I tell you to.” Kissing my lips softly, he pushes down on my shoulders. “Get on your knees and don’t let that fall out.”

  I kneel awkwardly, trying not to fall on my ass while clenching the vibrator in my core. He leans back against the edge of the table in front of me. “I want you to suck my cock before I tell you what else I want.”

  I lick the head of his cock and swirl my tongue around him, slowly sliding my mouth down his hot shaft, gazing up at him. I love watching his breathing change and seeing his eyes get drowsy and lusty. He touches my face as I go down on him, and he watches me intently. He pulls his cock out of my mouth and slides his thumb into my mouth in its place.

  “Come up here,” his voice is low and tinged with a hint of urgency. I carefully stand up, and he reaches behind me and unwinds the chain, letting it fall to the floor, and takes the vibrator out next. He holds my face in his hands and looks into my eyes for a few moments, staring straight into my soul like he does, and looking back into his, I see the many broken parts of him.

  “What’s wrong? Talk to me.” I coax, placing my hands on his chest.

  He leans his forehead against mine and closes his eyes, inhaling me, and us, deep into his lungs before he answers.

  “No one’s ever said they love me before.”

  My heart clenches. My God, this man needs to be loved so badly, and I want to be the one to give it to him, but doing so will put my already broken heart in jeopardy of being further shattered. Am I strong enough to risk that? Could he ever love me back? And more importantly, can I let go of the past?

  “Well . . .” I whisper, my heart pounding. “I guess I’m the first, and hopefully, the last.”

  His hands go to my waist and grip me tighter, pulling me even closer against his body, as if he’s afraid I’m going to run. I place a soft kiss directly over his heart, and then tilt my head up to meet his dark eyes. “I love you,” I say, my voice small and shaky.

  “You shouldn’t . . . I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Then don’t.”

  He shakes his head. “Easier said than done.”

  “Hey,” I say softly, “I believe in you, Vandal. Whatever happened in the past . . . that doesn’t have to make you who you are now. That’s not the man I know today. If you don’t like who you are, you can change the parts you don’t like . . . I’ll help you.”

  “There’s so much you don’t know about me.” He pushes my hair away from my face, his eyes full of pain and regret.

  I pull his head down to mine and kiss his lips. “I don’t want to know. I love who you are right now. I love the man you’ve been since you brought me here.” I slowly brainwash myself with my own delusions. I want it all to go away. I just want to be with him, now and forever. “You have to learn to let some walls down.”

  He nods. “I’m so tired of holding the walls up, Tabi.”

  Sliding my hands up his chest, I clasp them behind his neck. “We can do it together.”

  “I don’t deserve you,” he whispers, and a lone tear slowly slides down his face, the sight of it stopping my heart.

  In that moment, everything changes. There is a shift, deep and permanent, as if the hand of a monstrous clock just ticked to the next moment, and then stayed there. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.

  This isn’t just about me anymore.

  CHAPTER 19

  VANDAL

  THIS FUCKING CHICK is killing me. Killing me.

  She’s got my head so twisted up, I don’t know if I want to stand here and hug her or bend her over this table and s
lam her ass while she’s got that vibrator in her.

  I’m falling in love with you.

  Words I’ve never heard once in my thirty years on this fucking planet, and now I hear them from a girl whose life I wrecked and is destined to hate me. This twisted irony can only happen to me.

  The evil little voices in me are telling me to hurt her now before she hurts me. Cut her down, rip her heart out. Bring another woman home. Get drunk off my ass. Get high as a kite. Stomp all ideas of love and happiness out of her fast and hard. Tell her the truth about the accident and watch the love in her eyes wither away and die.

  “Don’t shut me out,” she says in her sweet voice, her hands tangled in my hair at the back of my neck. She looks so sexy in this dress, and when she crawled down the hall, I could have blown a nut just looking at her. My brain swirls with the endless possibilities of keeping her as my sub and having her love me.

  Say it back.

  It’s what she wants to hear. Of course even I know that I’m supposed to say it back to her. I know how much it’s hurting her right now that I didn’t. But once I say those words, there’s no coming back. I’ll always be the one who loved her and lied right to her face.

  “I’m not shutting you out,” I say, regaining my composure. “I’m thinking.”

  “About?” She asks, a slight shake to her voice.

  I have to give her something if I want her to stay. She’s giving me everything – her trust, her body, and now her heart. If I don’t attempt to give her something back, she’s gonna bolt.

  “I want you to stay with me. Indefinitely. We’ll figure out the details of the hows and wheres later.” I slide my finger down the front of the plunging neckline of her dress, between her breasts. “Is that what you want, too? This isn’t a game for me. We need to clarify some parameters and expectations if you’re going to stay.” I stroke the swell of her breasts beneath the thin, tight dress while I wait for her to answer.

  “Yes. I want to stay.”

  “Good. I’ll take care of you. I’ll give you everything you need and want. I don’t want you to work outside the house for someone else. I want you to focus on your photography, and make that your career if that’s what you want. If you need some equipment, I’ll get it for you. If you need a studio, we’ll either find you one in town or we can have one built here or at my other house—we’ll decide that later.”

  Her hand flutters to her mouth in surprise. “Oh my God, Vandal . . . you would let me do that? You would do all of that for me? Can you afford that?”

  “Yes, but it’s in return for what you are giving me. Which is you. Twenty-four seven. Exclusively. I don’t want you dating or having lunch with other men. I don’t share well, on any level. Call me an asshole, but that’s who I am. What’s mine is mine, and there is no gray area on that.” I hold her gaze, hoping she understands how serious I am. “And yes, I can afford it. Believe it or not, I’ve been very responsible with my money, thanks to Gram’s help. I get income from the tattoo shop and from the band, in addition to my inheritance. Okay?”

  “Of course . . . I don’t want anyone else, but why can’t we just be in a normal relationship then?”

  “Because I’m not normal. We’re not getting engaged, Tabitha. Don’t confuse this with some conventional relationship. This is an agreement. I want you; I care about you. I like you a lot. Don’t think you can throw emotions and words at me to break me down.” She already has broken me down, but I’m not ready to give in yet. I need more time. “We’ll agree on a sum of money that I’ll deposit into your bank account. I don’t want you to ever feel trapped here. You can leave whenever you want and you’ll have enough money to take care of yourself for a while.”

  “Wait . . . you can’t pay me for being with you. I don’t want that.”

  “I can and I will. And don’t make it sound like prostitution. I’m not paying you to fuck me, Tabitha. It’s an equal arrangement. You’re giving me everything I need in the way that I need it, and I’m making sure you have everything you need.”

  “Okay . . . I guess. I don’t want your money though. That’s not what I need or want at all . . .” Her voice trails off and I know exactly what she’s hinting at.

  I slide my hand up to her throat and squeeze gently, because I love how it makes her eyes go so big and her breath quicken. “I know you don’t want my money. I trust you.”

  “I trust you, too.”

  “The band I’m in is pretty popular. I expect one hundred percent discretion and commitment from you about what I do with my business and personal life. I don’t want you posting pictures or updates about me on your social media page.”

  “Okay. Are you famous or something?”

  I let out a little laugh and stroke her cheek. “Or something.”

  She shifts on her feet. I’m sure the shoes are starting to hurt. “I don’t care about who you are, or any of that,” she replies.

  “Ya know, I actually believe you when you say that.”

  “Because it’s true. What band are you in? Maybe I’ve heard your music or have you saved in my playlist and don’t even know it.”

  “I doubt it.”

  “Stop being so difficult and just tell me. You don’t have to be so secretive. I’m going to find out eventually.”

  “I don’t want to talk anymore,” I say, growing impatient. “The short version is I want you to be mine, and I’ll treat you like a fucking princess as long as you do the things I ask and don’t fuck with me. I don’t deal with shit well. I also don’t know how to fucking date. What you see here is what you get. And, in case you haven’t noticed, I have some abandonment issues.”

  “I did notice. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Why is that, exactly?” I slowly push the sleeves of her dress down until her breasts spill out. I cup her firm flesh in my hands and caress her, her nipples hardening against my palms.

  “I don’t know,” she breathes. “I like how you make me feel. You make me forget everything else exists.”

  “You make me feel the same.” I press my lips down hard on hers and suck her bottom lip between my teeth. “I want you to forget everything.” Everything. Even what you don’t know yet.

  As she kisses me, her hands move from my neck and slowly slide down my arms.

  With her wearing heels I can kiss her without having to bend down, and I take advantage of that fully, devouring her lips and reaching behind her to grab her ass.

  I turn her away from me and then spin us both around, bending her over the table as she gasps in surprise with the sudden change in position. I push my leather jacket across the table next to her head. “You can use that to muffle your screams,” I say, admiring her body bent over the hard surface, her lean leg muscles taut, her perfect, round, naked ass peeking out from under the short, tight dress.

  “Keep your hands flat on the table,” I say, giving her ass a quick slap, loving how her tight flesh bounces. “You look hot as fucking hell dressed like a slut, but you aren’t one, are you?”

  “No.”

  “And you’re not going to act like one, are you?”

  “Only with you.”

  I’m glad she can’t see the smile that crosses my face. “Ah. So you are learning.” I stroke her ass and push her dress up further until it’s around her waist.

  “Tell me how many men you’ve been with.”

  “Excuse me?” Her head turns towards me.

  I stroke her inner thigh, my hand inching closer to her pussy. “How many men have you fucked?” I raise my voice slightly and tighten my grip on her thigh. “If you make me repeat myself I’ll spank you. How many times do we have to go over that?”

  “Three.”

  “Ever?” I ask, surprised. I pull my hand away and rest it gently on her back. Damn. I don’t think I know any women that have only been with three men.

  “No, yesterday,” she says sarcastically. “Yes, ever. Geez.”

  I smack her butt hard
. “Don’t be a smart-ass.”

  “Then don’t act shocked that I’m not one of the whores you’re used to.”

  “Am I the third?”

  “Yes.”

  Well, shit. This bit of news musters up the animal in me. She’s the closest thing to a virgin I’ve ever been near.

  “So, just Jason and Nick? That’s it?”

  “And you.”

  “How many times with Jason?”

  “Seriously? Are we sixteen?”

  I spank her again. “This is important to me, so just fucking answer.”

  She lets out a sigh. “Once.”

  “Wow.”

  “How many women have you been with?” she asks, turning her head in my direction.

  “You don’t really want me to answer that, do you?”

  “No.”

  “Does it make you jealous?” Standing behind her, I continue caressing her thighs, the head of my dick pressing against the crevice of her ass.

  “Yes. Very much.”

  I lay over her, my chest against her back, my cock shoved further against her ass.

  “How does it feel knowing you’re the only one I’ll be fucking from now on?”

  “Scary.”

  I kiss her shoulder quickly and pull away a bit, not expecting that answer. “Scary?”

  “What happens when you get bored of me?”

  Pushing her hair to the side, I trail kisses to her neck, sucking on her flesh as I go, leaving red marks. I wedge my cock deeper between her ass cheeks.

  “That will never happen.” I reach down between us and guide my cock into her dripping wet pussy. I think my words turn her on. Or maybe it’s just my voice. Either way, she responds exactly as I want her to and melts for me. Pushing myself off her back, I stand straight and pull my cock all the way out, then slowly glide it all the way in again to the hilt, my balls pressed against her lips. I stroke in and out of her slowly, her pussy milking my cock with faint, wet suction sounds.

  Pulling out, I dip my finger into her wet cave and spread her juices up between her ass cheeks around her puckered flesh, gently pushing the tip of my finger inside. She arches up quickly but I’m faster than her, and quickly push her back down.