Will stepped between us and pulled me to the side. “He had no idea I took you out today.” He was tried to be low-key but I was sure everyone could hear his loud whispers. “He has no idea we spent the whole day together. He didn’t even know we were together until I called him for a ride.”
“Will they still let you ship out if you have a black eye?” I glared.
“Why wouldn’t they?” He wore a confused look.
I’m sure the revelation of what I meant hit him when my fist did, but maybe not until he hit the floor. When he looked up at me while cupping his hand over the offended eye I offered my hand. My partners all laughed at him and he finally donned a huge grin and took my hand.
“I’ll take you home.” White had his hands on my elbows, ready to usher me off and out of danger, but we were instantly swarmed by the rest of the men with Brown up front.
“Oh no you don’t! You, Black and Blue are the only guys that have been around her when her tongue has been loosened by spirits. The rest of us want to get to know our partner like we know each other.”
“No, no, no. I think White’s right and I should go home.” I protested as Brown wiggled his way between White and me and pushed me toward the elevator.
I looked back at White for help but he was lost in the sea of men following behind us. I’d had visions of White and I in my apartment and me making some verbal and physical statements I could never take back. Whiskey was a great spine strengthener.
Everyone piled into the elevator and I felt a little claustrophobic. The feeling came mostly from everyone poking fun at me and Will rather than the closeness of the bodies. When the doors opened I pushed my way out to a floor I’d never been on before.
“Where are we?” I asked as Red pushed past me.
“Welcome to my abode,” he said.
He threw open the door and showcased the interior with a flourish of his arm. I walked in and was overwhelmed with the feel of it.
“Now this is exactly what I thought White’s apartment would look like.”
The black and red accents made me think of Gigi’s, the strip joint that Colin had me working at before the Dimitri hit.
Black let out a chuckle as he followed me inside.
All of our apartments were the same floor plan but we each had a room that we used for our personal touch. White’s housed C.I.C., mine remained unoccupied with anything but storage items. Black’s housed plants and all kinds of non-bachelor items and Red’s was set up as a game room. He had a bar in one corner, a pool table, a dart board, and those tall tables that only seated a couple of people. However, he did have a couple of larger tables that would allow us all to sit together.
Blue stepped behind the bar and brought back ice wrapped in a towel.
“Let me look at that.” Blue tipped Will’s head back and examined his nicely reddening eye. “I don’t think it’ll affect your ability to fly.” He pressed the towel into Will’s hands with instructions to put it on his eye.
Brown started pouring shots like a pro and didn’t even ask any of us what we wanted. Because of this I assumed he wasn’t making one for me but I was mistaken. He brought over my usual shot with a coke back.
“I can’t drink this,” I said as I pushed the shot away.
“Gonna be sick?” Brown teased.
“Not yet, but I might soon.” I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Oh, come on. You’re home now. Who cares if you get sick. Just as long as you make it to the bathroom,” Red added.
“I promise to hold your hair.” Brown pushed the shot closer to me.
Eventually the prodding got to me and I threw back my shot with the rest of them. After the first one they didn’t offer me anymore.
Their drinking continued but after a couple more I took my leave, followed closely by White.
“I really had no intentions of getting drunk,” I told him again.
“I know. I’ll make sure you get to your apartment.” He led me by the elbow to the elevator, off of the elevator and straight into my apartment.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out.
“No need to be. I know Will can be very persuasive when he wants to be. A couple of drinks isn’t a big deal.”
As we stood near the door my guilt was intense but the urge to kiss him was almost overwhelming. I wanted to scream at him that I’d almost kissed his brother but I couldn’t deal with how he might take it. I felt like I’d cheated on White. As soon as I’d seen him standing behind me at the bar I knew that all of the inattention hadn’t mattered. I was his and he was mine, forever.
“So, you were out with him all day?” His eyes narrowed some.
“He asked me to lunch and the time flew by. Then he gave me a tour of the carrier.” I found myself looking at the floor as I described my day in as few words as possible.
“I see.” I looked up in time to see the regret on White’s face as he said, “I should get going. Will defended your honor in the lobby and there’s no reason I should screw that up. Besides, I’m missing all the fun. I’m sure the guys are really laying it on thick now that you’re gone.”
My heart dropped. What if Will told them that we almost shared a kiss? How could I explain that to Rick?
“I’m sorry,” I said again. The guilt of spending the day with Will before even trying to contact White on my own was eating at me.
“It’s okay.” His sad smile and soft touch to my cheek wrenched at me. “Like I said, Will can be very persuasive.”
He left me standing there wondering what I’d just admitted to.
Chapter Fifteen
When I woke the next morning I was afraid to open my eyes. The headache was sure to be there. As I lay there, trying to decide if my stomach felt queasy, the full memory of the previous day, the almost-kiss with Will, and White softly dismissing me with sorrow on his face, made me sit straight up.
The headache and the queasy feeling were overwhelming and sent me running to the bathroom where I sat on the cold tile until the feeling passed.
I filled the sink with cold water, bent over and dunked my head in.
Maybe he doesn’t know for sure that Will tried to kiss me.
I considered taking in a deep breath while under water. Instead, I held my breath for as long as I could then drained the water and brushed my teeth.
The hangover subsided as I showered. Almost like I was washing it down the drain. But, what I really needed was some food and I didn’t have anything acceptable in my cupboards.
I briefly considered calling Black, my usual morning company, but needed some female companionship.
I had overslept and taken my time in the shower so I knew Gabriella would already be in the office. That meant it was either her company or breakfast. I couldn’t have both.
To hell with it. Maybe I can talk White into letting her come to breakfast with me.
I wasn’t looking forward to seeing him right now, yet I really wanted to know how he’d treat me, now that we were both sober.
My heart beat heavily as I forced myself out of my apartment and into the elevator.
Gabriella was at her desk as I suspected and jumped to her feet when I walked in.
She let out a jovial, “Hey!” making me wince.
Rounding the corner of her desk she pulled my face into her hands and looked me over.
“You look a little green, but you healed up nicely from your mugging.”
“Had several too many last night.”
“Ahh—” she smiled and resumed her position behind her desk.
“Do you think White would let you go out for breakfast with me?” I pointed to his closed office door.
“Probably not since he isn’t here yet. Your late night have anything to do with his?” Her eyebrows wagged up and down.
“Kind of, just not in the way you are suggesting.” I sighed.
“Everything okay, hon?”
“Yeah. I just wanted to talk. You know, girl time.”
“We can talk
now,” she offered.
“I have to get something to eat before the hangover has a chance to regain its fury.”
“That bad, huh?”
I nodded.
“You better eat, then. We can talk later.”
My puke green Mustang was in its spot in the garage. It felt good to slide behind the wheel of my favorite possession.
I chose a quiet little restaurant and had a very quiet breakfast before I took a quiet drive around the city.
Though I’d felt mostly alone for the past four months I realized now that I had never been alone. I found it refreshing to be out on my own again. The only drawback was that my mind would not shut up about Will and White.
After more than an hour of driving aimlessly and dwelling on nothing but White I decided to just ignore my worry. What was done was done and even if White never spoke to me again I would not actually die. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t. There was no point in going over it in my mind for eternity.
Eventually, my car found its way to my parent’s place. I almost drove back to the guesthouse from habit, but parked in the front drive instead.
When I reached the front door I hesitated. Should I ring the bell? Should I just walk in like I still lived here? I felt a little out of place so I opted for the ring the bell approach.
No one was answering. I debated on whether I should leave or try the door when my mother appeared.
“Alex. You’re home.” She pulled me into a tight embrace.
“Hi, Mom.” I managed after she released me.
“Get in here.”
She beamed as she pulled me across the threshold and walked in the direction of the kitchen. My nose picked up so many different aromas I had trouble separating them. I thought I detected lavender for a fleeting second and just as quickly I smelled something minty. The scents overwhelmed me and I gave up trying to figure out what they were.
I took a seat at the kitchen table that was covered with metal tubes and various powders and vials of liquid.
“What’s all this?” I picked up a small glass container labeled Eucalyptus Oil.
“I’ve decided to make my own candles and bath salts. I even make shampoo and lotion.” She brought over a plastic bottle of what I assumed was lotion.
“Try it.” She pushed the bottle into my hands.
I lifted the bottle to my nose and was pleased with the smell.
“What scent is this?” Having it close to my face helped to single out the aroma against all the others in the air. It was fresh and clean smelling.
“Cucumber melon. I thought you’d like that one. You can have it.”
As I put some on my hands and started to rub it in she started firing off her questions about what I’d been doing.
I filled her in on everything I did for EOD and flight training and she surprised me with some of the technical questions she asked.
I knew that she had left the Penumbra legacy to me, but we had never talked shop all that much. Every time we did I felt strange. There was this huge part of my mother I never knew existed. I had always thought her main role in life was to cook dinner and satisfy her curiosity with domestic hobbies like making candles and lotions and even taking the danger up a notch and working with power tools. It was always surprising that my mother knew so much about my chosen profession.
“Any jobs lately?” she finally asked.
“No. I’ve been out of touch because of the training and if there were any offers White didn’t bring them to my attention.”
Her question brought me back to Lima for a brief moment. I wanted to tell her what happened, but I worried she might wonder if I was the right person for the job. White had told me all was fine, but I knew I’d screwed up in Lima. Flores had seen me, attacked me and even hurt me. It took me a couple weeks to get back to my normal self. Then I was brought back even further to the day I asked White how often I might expect to get Penumbra jobs. Was it normal to go months without a contract?
“Is that unusual?” I asked.
“No. Why do you think I do stuff like this?” She gestured toward the cluttered table. “I had to find something to occupy my time. At least you have White and Associates and on the job training to keep you busy. What I wouldn’t have given to have had your distractions.”
“I’m not so sure you’d want my distractions.” My mind went directly to White. “At least you’ve always had Dad.”
“Ah… your dad.” She smiled. “Yes, he’s a good man and he loves me. Not that there weren’t plenty of other men out there that couldn’t have loved me.” She made a flourish with her hands to indicate her figure. This made us both laugh. “What makes your dad special is that I love him, too.”
I stayed until she asked me if I was going to join them for dinner.
“No. I better go. I’ve been gone for a long time and I haven’t really had the chance to talk with White yet. Maybe he does have a job for me and I just don’t know it.”
“Knock ‘em dead,” She said and I knew it wasn’t just an expression.
Back at the office building I struggled with where to go. I pressed the seventh floor but immediately pushed the twelfth when the doors opened to the floor where White was sure to be.
Inside my apartment, I paced. I wanted to call White. I wanted to find out if what Will said was true. The hurt in his eyes last night made me hope that Will had been right, but that same hurt made it impossible for me to pick up my phone or walk back to the elevator. Instead I continued to pace until someone knocked at my door.
I literally jumped a few extra inches with my next pacing step. Please be him. I begged of anyone or anything that might be listening.
When I opened the door Red pushed past me carrying a bag from a nearby Chinese restaurant.
“I brought dinner.”
My jaw dropped. Red had never brought me food before. I wondered what he wanted, so I asked.
“I thought we should catch up.” He pulled food from the bag and readied the plates and utensils.
I joined him at my kitchen bar.
“Is this doctor-patient?”
“Partly. I need to keep up on your state of mind but I thought dinner could be nice. The bar setting I have upstairs helps loosen the men’s tongues, but it’s not so good on you.”
I couldn’t stop my eyes from rolling upward as he dished up our plates.
“Do you want some pepper steak?” He held up a huge spoonful of food.
“Sure.” I took a seat in front of the plate he’d already covered with rice.
He always seemed to have an ulterior motive. I wondered what it was this time. His most recent behavior had me on edge, and though I remembered a brief time in which we actually got along, I wasn’t ready to just let him back in with open arms.
We ate in silence for at least five minutes before he asked how I felt about my recent EOD training.
I told him it had probably been my least favorite activity since joining White and Associates.
“Why’s that?”
“It’s the possibility of blowing up with my project that I don’t like.”
“I thought you would’ve liked having the power.”
“It can be empowering, but it’s too nerve-racking. I can take all the precautions and still not have full control. Most accidents in this line of work, if the person is careful and diligent, are caused by outside influences beyond our knowledge or power.”
“So it makes you feel out of control?”
This type of question coming from Red always put me on edge. I hate being judged.
“I guess.”
“That’s the same reason I don’t care for EOD.”
His admission took a little of the edge off.
Did he want me to add something after his admission? There was no way I was going to.
We ate in silence for a few minutes more before his questions began again.
“Going back a little. I’d like to hear about the training op you and Black did in Wyoming. Did yo
u enjoy it?”
“I guess it was fun.”
“How about flight training? What did you think of that?”
“Flight training and flying are probably my favorite things I’ve done since I joined up.” My attitude lifted some with the change of topic.
“Does that have anything to do with your instructor?”
He never failed to piss me off, but I held my composure.
“Do you mean Brown or Malone? Because I’ve developed a fondness for both of them.”
“Do you care more for one or the other?”
“What does this have to do with my job here?”
“Actually.” He looked me straight in the face. “A lot.”
“And why’s that?”
“You work with both Brown and Will and an unprofessional relationship could result in problems.”
“Do you have problems working with Lacewell?” I asked. Special Agent Lacewell worked for the NSA and we sometimes did jobs for or with her. I’d noticed Red had a soft spot for her.
“What?”
“Do you?”
“Of course not.”
“Then consider that my answer. Moving along.” I slid my plate away.
“Alex, I’m just trying to get a handle on things. If any of us are involved in a relationship outside the company I keep tabs to make sure it doesn’t affect our work.”
“I suppose that’s a tiring job. Keeping track of so many men’s sex lives, especially with men like Brown and White.” I only meant White, but I added Brown’s name in there to throw him off a bit.
“Brown is a bit of a challenge but White hasn’t been active on the scene since you joined the company. He’s part of the reason I asked about Will.”
“You didn’t ask about Will,” I argued. “You asked about my flight training instructor. You don’t talk to me, Red. You talk about me or at me. If you want to know something it would be a lot more respectful to just ask.” Even though I thought I did a good job of turning it all back on Red, my thoughts centered on White.
“Fine. I’ll spell it out.” He pushed his own plate away.
“White hasn’t come straight out and told me that he has feelings for you but it’s obvious by his lack of interest in other women since you came along. That being noticed and now said, I worry that if you start a relationship with his little brother it could spell trouble for all of us.”
Traces of Grey: Book Four of The Alexis Stanton Chronicles Page 18
