The Lady's Choice

by Bernadette Rowley

  It was his head injury talking. He did not know what he was saying, what he was doing. Mermaid indeed! A fleeting memory of a tail amidst the waves came to her but she tossed it aside. This was no time for foolish fancies. Ramón needed rest and warmth.

  She pushed him away, momentarily bereft as his hands left her body. Clutching his fingers, she led him over to the hut and felt along the wall until she came to the door latch. The door swung open and the musty, pungent odour of fishing nets, mouse droppings and rotting seaweed assailed her. No matter; it was warm inside, or rather, less cold than the stormy beach. Benae settled Ramón on a pile of old netting then headed back outside.

  She led the two horses to the rear of the shed, where she found a solid post to tie them to. It would have to do. She grabbed her flint box from her saddle and after a brief mind link to Flaire, she returned to Ramón.

  The inside of the shed was almost pitch black but she had noted a stone chimney from the outside, so moved towards the spot where she assumed the fireplace must be. Miraculously, the tinderbox and flint were dry. The fireplace had been laid and Benae soon had a cheerful blaze going.

  ‘I came to save you,’ Ramón said, ‘and instead you saved me.’

  She turned to him and was startled by the frank admiration in his gaze. Oh Goddess, I’m in my underwear! But she stayed where she was, the fire at her back beginning to melt the block of ice that had formed inside her. ‘That makes a life for a life,’ she said, suddenly awkward. ‘You really remember what happened?’

  ‘Most of it,’ he said. ‘It was not only you who saved me. Something, someone, rolled me onto my back and held me there, even pushed me a little. I think it was a mermaid.’

  She frowned at him, remembering the tail she had glimpsed from the corner of her eye, and nodded. ‘I heard a strange song. It lured me onto the causeway. But I had not heard that mermaids saved lives, rather the opposite.’

  ‘We will solve the mystery of the mermaid later. For now, let us see what provisions are stored here.’ He rose, crossed the hut to a sack that was suspended from the rafters and untied it from its support. Inside they found dried mutton, hard cheese and pickled onions.

  Ramón took a knife and cut the edges from the cheese then gave Benae a slice to nibble on. He did the same for himself.

  While Benae perched in front of the fire, Ramón stripped the wet clothes from his body and laid them before the fire. She grew hot at the sight of the squire in his smalls. The firelight made his body glow golden. As his hair dried, it took on the halo that was unique to Ramón. He was so beautiful.

  They ate in companionable silence, she on an old rickety chair and he on an empty barrel. The warmth of the fire and the cheery light it cast, along with a full stomach, helped to restore Benae’s hope.

  ‘What were you doing, leaving the castle unescorted?’ Ramón said, his tone disapproving.

  ‘It seemed the answer at the time. I had no one to talk to and I panicked about the wedding.’

  ‘What is there to panic about?’

  ‘I love you.’ It had to be said, had to be faced. ‘The queen has urged me to take you as a lover. In fact, many believe us already to be lovers. It is only by your choice that we are not.’

  ‘We agreed to be friends.’

  ‘Yes, but agreeing to that was the only way I could have some kind of relationship with you. Better to have you in my life as a friend than not at all.’ She paused. ‘Now I find that not to be the case.’

  ‘What do you mean by that?’ Ramón asked, warily.

  Benae stared at him, not certain what to do next. He had said no to her more than once before. The odds were not in her favour that he would succumb to her tonight. He was so much stronger than she. Benae reached for the top button of her chemise and slowly undid each and every fastening from her neck to her waist until she could slowly pull the garment from her shoulders. It slid to the stone floor. Goddess grant he cannot deny me this time.

  Ramón swallowed hard, his eyes wide as they devoured her bare chest. His breathing picked up pace.

  ‘Benae—’

  ‘Hush, beloved,’ she said, reaching to place her finger against his lips.

  She did not shift her gaze from Ramón. He seemed mesmerised by her, his eyes following as her fingers caressed her bared breasts and rolled back and forwards over her nipples. He swallowed, his tongue moistening his lips. Benae imagined that tongue against her nipples and they became hard points of need.

  Once she had allowed Ramón to feast upon her naked torso for long moments with only the rolling waves and the crackling fire to serenade them, she stood and stepped from her pantaloons. ‘This night is ours, Ramón. Whatever happens tomorrow, we will have this night.’ She stepped closer to him so that she could run her hands across his shoulders and through the fine golden hairs of his chest. He shivered beneath her fingers. ‘I want to know you, Ramón. I need that and I think you do as well.’

  Benae gripped his hands and brought them to rest on her hips. Just the feel of his hands on her bare skin was almost enough to make her lose control but she knew she must be strong. With him seated on the upright barrel, they were the same height. His gaze dropped to explore her body and she moved her hands up either side of his face and kissed him tenderly, briefly. She could feel the longing in his full lips, sensed that he held himself aloof by the merest shred of control. But still she could not force this. He must be fully willing to cast his feelings for Alecia, and his loyalty to the prince, aside.

  She kissed him again, this time deepening the kiss, her tongue questing, his lips parting so that she could explore the depths of his mouth. His hands gripped her hips tighter and his tongue forced its way into her mouth, tangling with hers, igniting a fierce need in Benae. She arched her hips against him and he groaned. Slowly, slowly. Ramón wrenched his lips from hers and Benae nearly sobbed but her dismay was short-lived as his mouth found first one nipple and then the other, sucking them just short of pain until she strained against him, desperate for release. She stepped back, breaking the contact and took his right hand and brought it to her mouth, moistening his fingers and then guiding them to the core of her pleasure. Benae showed him how to stimulate her, her body moving with the rhythm of his hand, tightening and building. As his fingers pleasured her, his lips worked their magic on her nipples until she climaxed, shudders ripping through her body over and over as she sagged against him.

  Her skin against his felt so right, their chests resting together, their breathing ragged. They stayed like that, Benae lost in the ferocity of her orgasm, wondering if they would now consummate their love – for love it was. Surely he could not deny what lay between them. He could not let honour deprive them of this moment, whatever happened in the future.

  Ramón stood and looked down at her, both his hands now encircling her waist. His pupils were huge, dark, almost obscuring the blue of his irises. He wanted her but there was a haunted look to his gaze, almost reluctance, and fear. Passion drove him and he was unaccustomed to the war within. Would he allow passion to rule or would he succumb to honour yet again? She could not let him back out now.

  Benae gently stripped off his smalls until the extent of his arousal was exposed. The underwear dropped to the floor and she pulled him towards her. She gripped his erection in her right hand and squeezed. His eyes closed and he shuddered. She gripped again and he thrust a little towards her.

  ‘We should not,’ he said.

  ‘Who is to say we should not?’ She knelt before him. ‘Does this not feel right to you?’ Benae took his rod into her mouth and sucked, pulling him in and out of her mouth with her hand, forcing his erection to the back of her mouth and then withdrawing him, repeating the movement until she thought he was at the point of climax, his head thrown back, his eyes closed, his body tight with need.

  Benae pulled him from her mouth and lay down on the clothes Ramón had laid before the fire, knees bent, legs parted so that he could see she was ready for him.

 
It took Ramón a few moments to realise Benae was no longer pleasuring him. Goddess, what sensations she evoked! Of course he had felt the need to relieve his tension from time to time but more often he found relief in a weapons session or a run. This was altogether different. He opened his eyes and found her spread on his clothes, her left hand dangling between her legs, playing with herself. Moisture glistened on her soft folds and Ramón lost all thought of resistance. He flung himself down and crawled between her legs, his erection brushing her moist warmth. His mouth found hers and there was no restraint, his tongue slipping past her lips to explore her mouth, her hips straining against his, reaching to accommodate him. His rod seemed to move of its own volition, seeking Benae’s inner pleasure centre, but it was not as simple as it seemed. Need drove him but his shaft seemed not to be able to find its target. He groaned with frustration.

  ‘Do not fear, lover,’ she said, her hands guiding him, her fingers parting her folds so that he slid within, Benae’s slippery warmth enveloping him. He began to thrust, Benae meeting him each time, her hands on his buttocks, letting out small gasps at each thrust. The tempo increased and Ramón’s climax built, zeroing in upon his groin as Benae gave one last thrust against him and shuddered, her whole body tightening around him, his name shrieking from her lips. His seed burst within her and he thrust again and again until he felt he had emptied the whole of himself into her. He relaxed onto her and then rolled to the side, pulling Benae with him so they stayed joined.

  ‘That was wondrous,’ he said, smiling at her and gently pushing a strand of dark hair away from her glorious emerald eyes. ‘Thank you.’

  She stiffened in his arms. ‘Why should you thank me? It was a giving and receiving between two people who have feelings for each other.’

  Why was she angry? ‘You made my first time special. I had always wondered how it would be. I thought—’ He felt her stiffen further as if she anticipated Alecia’s name on his lips. No, that would not do. ‘Never mind what I thought. I will always treasure this night and hold it in my heart. It will be something to remember when I cannot hold you.’

  Her serious eyes studied him. ‘I will not allow you to walk away from me, Ramón. You and I are joined forever. Your seed lies within me. It might result in a child. I would welcome such an event. To bear your son or daughter would make sense of this cruel world.’

  A chill crept through his chest. He withdrew from her and stood, looking down upon her. ‘I cannot be with you, Benae. You are betrothed. We must take our pleasure this night and never again. If you thought taking my virginity would bind me to you, you were mistaken.’

  Benae leapt up to confront him. ‘I did not set out to trap you, Ramón. Yes, it was selfish of me to seduce you but I was desperate to be one with you. I told myself all along that what I felt for you was desire only, that when I was married to Jiseve he would sate me, but I reached the point where I could no longer lie to myself. I love you, Ramón! I think you love me, too.’

  Ramón’s chest constricted, panic closing his throat. She loved him! He shook his head. She couldn’t love him, must not. He fell to his knees, imagining the scene should the prince discover their adultery. Already he felt the heavy weight of guilt deep in his gut, knew he must hide another indiscretion. He had promised himself never again to act on impulse; never again to let passion dictate his actions. And here he was: Benae’s lover. How had it come to this? How had he tossed his principles aside, nay his convictions, so quickly?

  ‘It is love, dearest,’ Benae said, seeming to read his thoughts. ‘You and I; it is love. You torture yourself because you could not deny me.’ Love shone in her eyes. Love for him. He realised in that moment he would do anything for her. He would risk his life, he would stand by and protect her as she married the prince. He would kill for her.

  She sat in front of him, naked, and a hot blast of desire tore through him. He pushed her back against the clothes and kissed her until they were both breathless and her nails dug into his shoulders. If they could not be together forever he would at least have her one last time. He parted her legs and this time his rod found its home without help, thrusting into her slick, hot centre. Benae cried his name and it sent him over the edge. He plunged into her again and again, no thought but pure, sweet pleasure on his mind.

  Chapter 14

  Benae retrieved her pantaloons and chemise from where she had flung them last night. She hummed as she dressed, reliving the moment when she had awoken, Ramón’s hands on her body, doing things she could never have imagined he would know of. The firelight had danced along the muscular planes of his shoulders and legs as he moved over her, kissing and fondling her breasts, licking her navel and then proceeding to lick and kiss her all the way to her most intimate place, giving her a climax she would long remember. He was an instinctive lover and she could only imagine how wonderful he would grow to be with experience. The night, and morning, love had been as much a revelation for her as it had been for him – her first sexual experience with a man she loved. She had never expected to feel so connected, so completed by a simple coupling.

  The thought of their love-making brought a fresh surge of heat to her loins and she paused in her dressing, hoping to repeat the performance. Benae stalked across the room to him, clad only in her pantaloons and Ramón drew her into his arms.

  ‘I long to be one with you again, beloved,’ she purred, nipping the sensitive skin below his ear. ‘Can we not stay here this day?’

  His body shivered under her ministrations. She kissed the broad muscles across his chest, slowly working her way lower until she grazed her lips across his nipples. He grew hard against her. She could never have enough of this glorious, sensual man. Somehow, all the sorrow she had endured was worth it to end up loved by Ramón.

  ‘Search parties will be abroad,’ he said, his voice husky, his eyes dark with desire. ‘We cannot risk being discovered here, like this.’ His hand stroked the side of her breast. ‘Already we have lingered too long.’

  ‘Let them find us,’ Benae said. ‘I cannot be sorry for last night.’

  ‘We must continue the charade, love. You are a betrothed woman.’

  ‘I will no longer lie about my feelings for you.’ She pulled his head to hers and kissed those sensual lips. His best feature. I could kiss him all day and never tire. Her desire mounted.

  Ramón placed her at arm’s length. ‘We must talk.’

  ‘Talk?’

  He frowned. ‘When we leave this place, we resume our previous lives. You are to become a princess and I shall resume my life as a squire, servant to Prince Zialni. As such, you will be my mistress—’

  ‘Oh yes, I will indeed.’ She blessed him with a look designed to boil his blood but he merely looked annoyed.

  ‘You deliberately misunderstand my words, Benae,’ he said.

  She tried to push past his arms, to ensnare his waist, but he resisted.

  ‘We both know there can be no more of this.’ His arm swept the hut and icy fingers clutched her heart.

  ‘I love you,’ she said. ‘I cannot stop loving you just because I am betrothed to another. Do not expect me to walk away from this because I cannot. I do not think you can walk away either.’

  ‘I can do anything I am required to. We have had our moment and to entertain “us” as a possibility . . . well, it just cannot be.’

  ‘I love you,’ she repeated. ‘I am going to marry you and we will be gloriously happy.’ Benae could almost see their children, girls on horseback galloping through her estate and the boys learning weapons from Ramón. ‘You are betrothed to the prince. He will never give you up. He would see you and me killed first.’

  A shiver sliced up her spine but she ignored it. Ramón did not appreciate Jiseve as she did. Even after such a short relationship as she had had with her fiancé, she was sure he would accede to her will. He would not want her if she could not give him all of herself. Jiseve was too proud for that. Ramon was wrong. Her betrothed was a good man.

/>   ‘I will tell him we have coupled and he will sever our agreement,’ Benae said. ‘Yes, he will be hurt, but he will not want a wife who is in love with another man. He will send word to one of the other ladies and they will be only too happy to marry him, to bear his children, to provide the heir he needs. No one will be hurt.’

  ‘How can you be sure?’ Ramón said, his eyes troubled. ‘Had you considered that the prince might be in love with you?’ She did so adore him when he looked serious. He would make a fine partner, and father.

  ‘I know men, Ramón. The prince is not so attached to me that he will refuse to let me go. If he were, he would have consummated our relationship before I left Brightcastle. He brought me to the peak of longing many a time and left me there, unfulfilled. It drove me wild. That is one of the reasons I was so indiscreet with you the night before we left; one of the reasons.’ Ramón coloured, a slow blush rising from his throat to cover his face. That was another thing she loved about her squire: his boyish blushes. She had never seen a man blush so delightfully. Joy sang in her heart. She would have the remainder of her life to take pleasure in his company, to feel his eyes upon her, his hands working their magic.

  ‘Are you sure we cannot stay longer?’ she said.

  Ramón pulled her into his arms and kissed her, one arm around her waist, the other hand at the nape of her neck, his tongue entangled with hers. All rational thought fled as Benae responded to his touch, strained against his hard length, wove her fingers through his hair.

  ‘We must go, beloved, but be sure we will discuss this further. For now, let us tell the people of Wildecoast of our extraordinary escape from death, taking refuge in the hut, and of our need to return to Brightcastle to prepare for your wedding.’

  Benae studied his face, uncertain how he felt about her. He had not admitted his love for her. Would he deny it still? Ramón had embedded himself in her heart and she believed she was as deeply set in his. Jiseve would understand. Jiseve would release her from her promise and she and Ramón would find a way to save her estates that didn’t involve sacrificing her happiness. It was possible; it had to be.