Her Secret Life

by Tiffany L. Warren

  “You’re done already?” Graham asked.

  “You don’t know how big this is. I haven’t been in water over my waist since I nearly died.”

  Graham followed Onika, but by the time he caught up, she was climbing out of the pool. She moved incredibly fast for someone who was walking in the water instead of swimming.

  “Next time, I’m going to get you to put your face in the water.”

  “Not unless your Jesus comes back and I get left behind in the rapture.”

  Graham narrowed his eyes at Onika and shook his head. “My Jesus? He’s not just my Jesus.”

  Onika hated that those words had slipped out of her mouth. She didn’t want to ruin their good time. If she was having a good time with Graham at a swimming pool, she could have a good time with him anywhere. Maybe even church, although she chose not to go.

  “Oh, I’m just kidding, Graham. Don’t take it to heart.”

  “When you say things like that, it makes me sad.”

  “Forget I said it.”

  “I can’t, because I know you mean it.”

  Onika touched his face gently. “Well, then, don’t think about it. I will try not to say things like that to you. I don’t want to see you sad.”

  Then she pulled his face closer to hers, so that she could give him the reward he tried to get earlier. She hoped her kisses would erase that look from his face, because she enjoyed being around him, even in a swimming pool. And maybe, just to see him smile, she’d go to one of his church services. She needed more time, though. More time to fall completely in love with Graham, because only her love for him would keep her from mocking the ridiculous side of him that believed in a God who had never once shown up when she needed Him.

  CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

  Chelsea was true to her pampered and privileged roots in her five-star hotel suite. When Onika arrived, there was white wine chilling on ice, and an assortment of fruit, sweets, and appetizers. So much of this would be wasted that it annoyed Onika.

  How Chelsea lived had never bothered her before. Onika had lived like this with Aaron. But now, when she thought about how Renee’s kids would fight over a grilled cheese sandwich, it bothered her. Being homeless was changing her.

  Onika carefully chose a few items that she knew she’d eat and poured herself a glass of wine. She sat down at the room’s dining table, across from Chelsea, who looked radiant in her blue silk robe, her hair cascading over her shoulder in soft waves.

  “You look fantastic, girl,” Onika said. “Being a first lady must not be too bad.”

  “It’s the people. They are constantly vying for my husband’s time. It’s like they think they own him.”

  “Right, he’s their man of God. They need him for their blessing.”

  “Correct. And they think if they pray hard enough they’ll be blessed like he’s blessed. Don’t they know he comes from old money? He’s got doctor, lawyer, judge, and legislator money. All that didn’t come from praying.”

  “Exactly. My grandmother used to say, folk needed to pray on their way to work.”

  “I’ve never heard you talk about your grandmother before.”

  Onika didn’t know what made her bring Earlene up. Probably the talk about church and church people. Onika associated Earlene with church.

  “She was a piece of work. Pretty much raised me, and loved her church.”

  Chelsea smiled. “I’d like to meet her.”

  “No, you really wouldn’t,” Onika said. “She’s not a nice lady.”

  “So you get it honest, huh?”

  “What? I am nice.”

  “You’re nicety. Nice, but can turn nasty in a heartbeat.”

  Onika considered this. “I’ll own that. Don’t mess with me, and all you get is nice.”

  “Is that what happened with Aaron? Did he bring out that other side of you?”

  Onika scoffed. “He broke up with me.”

  “Did he say why? Did you know it was coming? Talk to me.”

  “He says it was because I had an abortion.”

  “Oh . . . he wants kids? But not a wife.”

  “I think if polygamy was legal, he’d have twenty wives. He just doesn’t want to be chained to one woman.”

  “You don’t sound . . . angry at him.”

  “Oh, I’m angry at him. I’m angry at how he decided to end things suddenly, leaving me scrambling. That’s what I’m mad about.”

  Chelsea poured herself another glass of wine. She’d downed the first one when Onika said abortion.

  “You know, I think I’d have an abortion too if I got pregnant right now. I don’t want any babies,” Chelsea said.

  “Then don’t get pregnant if you can help it. I’m still not over that.”

  “Are you bringing a date to Ari’s party? You know he’ll be there.”

  Onika had started to ask Graham, but didn’t. She didn’t know that he would fit in with this group, with his government job, associate’s degree, and lack of familiarity with all things Greek. They’d probably seem pretentious to him, because they were, and if he started talking about God, they’d probably laugh at him behind his back.

  “I’m seeing someone, but we’re not there yet for me to showcase him.”

  “What if Aaron has someone?”

  This made Onika finish her wine and pour herself another glass. “He does have someone else. He had her before I left. I came across her wearing one of my outfits. That did not go well.”

  “What happened?”

  “I accidentally spilled red wine all over her. Ruined a pretty good piece of couture.”

  “Ugh. Who would wear another woman’s clothes?”

  “He found her at Robinson, so I guess a Robinette.”

  Chelsea shook her head and stared out of the window. “I don’t think this is how our lives are supposed to be playing out.”

  Onika wanted to scream. Chelsea knew nothing about struggle or pain or hardship. She’d left her daddy’s mansion for her husband’s mansion. She knew nothing except excess and abundance.

  “What do you mean? Your life is playing out just fine. You have whatever you want.”

  “Life isn’t just about things, you know? I want something more than possessions.”

  “I’ll take the possessions first and figure the rest out later.” Onika was so serious about this. She’d trade with Chelsea in a heartbeat and would never look back.

  “I know I sound like a spoiled, pampered princess.”

  “You do. Sorry.”

  “Well, think about it for a second. How much shopping can one person do? How many times can you go to the beach? I want to do something important. I want to leave something behind that’s my creation. I want a legacy.”

  “Children can do that. Maybe you do want some babies.”

  Chelsea shook her head. “Any woman who is healthy and has the right body parts can have a baby. I want to do something unique.”

  Onika didn’t know that her friend was unique. Maybe she hadn’t discovered her special gift to the world yet, but Onika had no idea what Chelsea could offer to the world, other than being a consumer.

  “Do you understand what I mean?” Chelsea asked when Onika didn’t reply.

  “It sounds like first world problems to me,” Onika said with a chuckle. “Maybe go to one of those Oprah transform your life conferences or something.”

  “I can’t stand you.”

  Onika laughed. “I’m just saying. You’ve got it all, girl. I can’t be concerned with your little issues right now.”

  “You’re right, I guess. Did you . . . did you know that my father was sleeping with girls at Robinson? Was he doing it while we were there?”

  Onika’s jaw dropped. “That came from out of left field.”

  “A girl sent my mother a letter about her five-year-long affair with my dad.”

  “What did Mrs. Richard do?”

  “Nothing,” Chelsea said. “She did nothing, except show me the letter and then burn it. T
he girl was someone my mother had mentored.”

  “That’s a shame that Dr. Richard would do that to her.”

  “My mother insisted that it wasn’t the first time, and she said that it wouldn’t be the last. Were you one of the girls?”

  “No! Why would you think that?”

  “It just occurred to me that my father knows more about you than anyone. He knew your name. What else did he know?”

  “Chelsea, I would never have hurt you or Mrs. Richard by sleeping with Dr. Richard. He was a mentor to me as well. We never had that sort of relationship.”

  “Maybe he was planning on it, though. He brought you to Martha’s Vineyard that time. He was probably working his way up to getting with you, and then you shocked him by linking up with Aaron.”

  Onika had never considered that Dr. Richard had wanted anything from her. He’d never made a pass at her, had never said anything inappropriate.

  “I don’t think your dad was looking at me, but your brother, Jaime, tried to rape me freshman year.”

  “Is there more wine in that bottle?” Chelsea asked. “We need to open another one. Get the hell out of here. Jaime?”

  “He was drunk. Luckily, I wasn’t. Remember that party we went to in Buckhead where you puked everywhere?”

  “Oh, yes, how could I ever forget that?”

  “That was the night it happened. He didn’t come for me again, though.”

  Chelsea shook her head as she opened the second bottle of wine with the wine opener. “You’re just telling all the secrets tonight.”

  “Not all.”

  Onika could never tell Chelsea how she’d threatened Dr. Richard over his indiscretions. And that Dr. Richard had been with several of their sorority sisters. If she found out one day, it wouldn’t be from Onika.

  “Why are we talking about such horrible things?” Onika asked. “We’re going to be completely useless at this engagement party tonight if we drink any more wine. Will we even be able to give a toast?”

  Chelsea shook her head. “You’re right. Let’s talk about what we’re wearing. Or about what you’re not wearing. That outfit you hung up in the closet is not going to cut it.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with that dress. It’s vintage.”

  Onika had combed through rack after rack of dresses in just about every thrift store she could reach on the Metro. And she’d come across a cream-colored lace minidress that was probably made in the sixties. It fit perfectly, and after Charmayne helped her clean it with white vinegar, baking soda, and Woolite, it was stain-free.

  “It’s a beautiful dress. I love it,” Chelsea said. “But it’s not going to make Aaron regret the day he kicked you out of his bed.”

  “He didn’t kick me . . . well, yes he did. You’re right.”

  “I’ve got something perfect for you to wear.”

  It was a white jumpsuit with a top whose opening plunged all the way to the waist. Onika would need bra tape to wear it, but it was perfect. And the right size.

  “Did you bring this on purpose for me?” Onika asked. “I am a size two, and you’re like a six. Why would you even be traveling with my size?”

  “Because I’m your sister. I’m here to help. You never want anyone to help you, but you should lean on someone from time to time.”

  “I’ve been hearing that a lot lately.”

  “You should listen. Let me be there for you in this.”

  Onika smiled and hugged Chelsea. “Okay, well, what am I supposed to do about shoes, accessories, hair, and makeup?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Chelsea got up and made a phone call, and then clapped her hands together.

  “We’re going to make Aaron wish he’d never lost you.”

  Even though Onika didn’t want Aaron back—at all—she wanted him to want her. She needed that feeling of vindication. So she was about to pour her body into that pantsuit and rock whatever shoes Chelsea and her great fashion sense had chosen. She was going to slay any girlfriend Aaron had on his arm. And maybe she’d feel good about it all and be able to move on with her life.

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  Onika was glad she’d listened to Chelsea about her outfit. It was beautiful, but the couture at this event was on another level entirely. She would’ve felt out of place in her vintage, thrift-store lace. Because of Chelsea, Onika was feeling a bit like her old self. She didn’t feel like her home was a shelter for women. She felt like the socialite she’d intended to be when she left Goldsboro.

  Onika was also glad that Chelsea had left her husband home. The husband would’ve kept them from sticking together like glue. Chelsea had rescued Onika from multiple conversations that night already, and she’d rescued Chelsea as well.

  It seemed like Onika was worried for nothing, because Aaron didn’t seem to be coming to the party. That was a good thing, because Onika had a few glasses of wine, and if he brought that girl to this party, things might turn ugly. Not on purpose, of course. Onika would blame it on the alcohol the next day.

  “Did you hear Ari’s going to have the bridesmaids wear turquoise?” Chelsea asked. “She would pick a crazy color.”

  “I like turquoise,” Onika said. “It looks beautiful on me. I’m going to flow in like the ocean.”

  “You can’t upstage the bride, now.”

  “No woman upstages the bride on her day. I’ve never seen a homely bride.”

  “Yes, you have. We’ve been to a few weddings that had homely brides.”

  Onika and Chelsea laughed hard, partially from the jokes, but more from the wine.

  “Is someone going to tell me the joke?”

  Onika snapped to attention when she heard Aaron’s voice. Chelsea’s eyes widened, and she stumbled a bit from the shock of him sneaking up on them.

  “So you decided to show up,” Onika said.

  “Did you think I wouldn’t?” Aaron hugged Chelsea and kissed her cheek. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, Chelsea. How are your parents?”

  “They’re good.”

  “I need to call your dad next week. He and I are supposed to get together in Atlanta before the school year starts.”

  “Okay,” Chelsea said with a shrug.

  “Chelsea, can I talk to Nikki alone for a minute?” Aaron asked.

  Chelsea narrowed her eyes to little slits. “Why do you need to talk to her? She doesn’t have anything to talk to you about.”

  “It’s okay, Chelsea. Give us a second,” Onika said.

  Onika was curious. She noticed that Aaron didn’t have his girlfriend with him. She wondered if that was because they weren’t together or because he knew she’d be there. Either way, she wanted to hear him out.

  “Okay,” Chelsea said, “but I’ll be right over there if you need me.”

  Aaron reached in for a hug, and Onika stepped back. She was nosy about what he wanted, but she had no desire to touch or hug him.

  “Don’t go there, Aaron. What do you want from me now?”

  “How have you been?”

  “Man, don’t even try to stand up here and act like you care about my well-being. If it was up to you, I’d be back at that shack in North Carolina.”

  “With your grandmother. Right. You know, I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have gone there. That’s your life and your history. I didn’t have a right.”

  Onika sighed. This felt like an apology, but she wasn’t open to it. She didn’t want to hear any apologies from Aaron. He was a deliberate kind of man. Everything he did was planned and plotted. Nothing was accidental, so even this apology had hidden layers of meaning.

  “I do care how you’ve been, though. How are you getting by?” Aaron asked.

  “I know how to survive. Worse things have happened in my life than you.”

  He shook his head and chuckled. “Wow.”

  “I know you find that hard to believe, Aaron, but I lived a few years before I met you.”

  Aaron grabbed the hand that Onika h
adn’t even realized was poking a finger in his face. He lowered it slowly and gently.

  “Nikki, I came over here to give you this.”

  He reached in his pocket and pulled out a folded-up piece of paper.

  “What’s this?”

  “It’s help, Nikki. I was hurt when I found out what you did, but I am not a cruel man.”

  Onika looked down at a check for twenty-five thousand dollars. It was enough for her to get an apartment and carry her over for a few months until she found a teaching job.

  As much as she wanted to take the money, she folded the check up and handed it back to him.

  “What are you doing? Don’t act like you don’t need it.”

  “Why are you doing this now? Why couldn’t you leave me with any dignity when we broke up? You didn’t even let me take my clothes and shoes. Your new chick was wearing my clothes, Aaron.”

  “Hey, I would’ve never let her do that. I didn’t know she’d been through your things. You can come and get them if you want.”

  Onika’s mouth watered at the idea of having her shoes. He could keep all the clothes, but if she could have her Louboutins and Jimmy Choos, she might feel like things were looking up again.

  “You can come and get them,” Aaron said. “But where would you put them? I know you’re living in a shelter, Onika. It’s not a secret.”

  Onika swallowed hard. How did he know? Worse, who else knew? She felt nauseous at the thought of their entire social circle in DC knowing that she was homeless.

  “It’s not the talk of the town,” Aaron said, “but a few key individuals know. Just take the check. It makes me look bad, too, that you’re in this situation. This isn’t just about you.”

  “If I take this money from you, do you have any expectations of me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know exactly what I mean, Aaron. I’m not sleeping with you.”

  Aaron shook his head. “Come on, Nikki. You know that I don’t need sex from you.”

  “Correct. You’ve got enough receptacles. Enough depositories.”

  “You don’t have to be vulgar.”

  “I’m being truthful.”

  Aaron put the check in her hand again. “Take it. No matter what you think, I care what happens to you. I honestly thought you would go back to North Carolina.”