Broken Dreams

by Rissa Blakeley

She grabbed me and squeezed me tight against her bursting chest. The awkwardness continued on. I was a bit disgusted, but I was doing it for my Henry. I kept reminding myself over and over again: anything for my Henry. He smiled at us hugging, even if it was fake. Yay. I was thrilled to pieces.

  Thrilled. To. Fucking. Pieces.

  “Okay, ladies,” Henry waved us back to him. “Let’s sit and plan.”

  Henry turned and headed back toward the living room. Sophie tried to hold my hand as we followed behind him, but I swatted her away. What the fuck was wrong with her? She stuck her tongue out at me and my lip curled into a snarl. Henry took his seat back on the couch, not seeing what was transpiring behind him.

  “Claire, you want to stay here and lock down? Anyone else want to input anything before I continue?” Nate shifted on the couch and looked around. He wanted to say something, but he was afraid that “Angry Henry” may make another appearance. “Well, I guess we can sit tight for a while. We can look for humans and give true death to the undeads. If any of you want to leave, I’m giving you one last chance to walk.” He looked at Nate with fire in his eyes. “You may go now. But keep in mind, if you leave our group, you will be unarmed and at the mercy of the undeads.” He looked around at everyone. “Are we all in?” Everyone nodded. “Good. Let me get the map, and we can plan out our day.”

  Henry got up and went to the hall closet and found a map of the area. I watched him, as he continually rubbed his neck. He stopped at the kitchen and grabbed a highlighter.

  After he unfolded the map on the coffee table and everyone gathered around, he rubbed his temples some. He seemed to be doing that much more since the grenade incident. I was worried he had issues that he didn’t want to worry me with.

  “We are here.” He pointed to the street where the front of the apartment building was located. “I think we should check the building here, and the three other apartment buildings over here.” Everyone nodded and listened intently as Henry instructed us. He looked exhausted.

  “What if we find survivors?” Claire asked, being the inquisitive one.

  “We make sure they understand what’s happening. We cannot bring anyone else back here. We are overwhelmed as it is. We won’t have enough supplies. Let me rephrase that. We don’t have enough supplies. We’ll need to pick some up along the way. This may be tough, at first. No one will want to just hand out anything but, if no one is there, then it’s fair game.”

  Claire narrowed her eyes at him. “You are not suggesting that we steal, are you?” Claire was always the good girl.

  “I’m not suggesting. I am telling you.”

  Claire looked shocked. “I’d never steal.”

  “We all need to be in survival mode here. We need supplies to survive. You all need to keep in mind that we won’t be the only ones with weapons. It’s every man for himself. The difference is that Sophie and I are highly trained. When we tell you to do something, you do it, without second-guessing. If we run right and tell you to run left, you do it. Got it?” Everyone sat in silence.

  “Let’s gather weapons, and get this show on the road.” I was worried. I could see Henry wasn’t one hundred percent.

  We all got our guns and extra ammo. Henry and Sophie both had packs and vests that held a multitude of weaponry. He put on a zip-up hoodie, and she threw on a black leather coat over her hooker clothes. Henry pulled on his favorite black ball cap, tight over his eyes, and she readjusted her blonde Barbie locks into a tight ponytail. It was odd to watch, like it was old news for them to behave that way. They were in the zone.

  “Everyone ready? We will start up top and work our way down. Sophie, you take the back. The rest of you, just be ready for us to give you a command.”

  I was frozen. Henry picked up on my hesitation. “Love? Are you alright?” He walked over to me. I shook my head. “Love, we have to do this.”

  “You aren’t well, Henry. You need to rest. I’m worried.”

  He looked annoyed and rolled his eyes. “I’m fine,” he grumbled.

  “You are not fine. I saw you rubbing your temples and your neck. You could have a concussion, or something worse.” He looked over at Sophie, as if he was looking for some sort of approval.

  Sophie walked over to me. “Elaina, I can understand why you would think he wasn’t fine. He’s exhibiting some signs of fatigue. But, I assure you, he is fine. I’ve seen Henry worse and near death many times. He will be fine. Trust me.” I didn’t want to trust her. I didn’t want to know that she knew him better than I did. I didn’t want to know that she understood him better than I did.

  “Can we stop discussing me like I’m not here, please? Let’s get moving.” He pushed past everyone and slowly opened the door. We headed for the stairs, whether we wanted to or not.

  Chapter 6

  I

  t was quiet in the swanky building. It was five stories, five apartments per floor. Henry’s apartment was on the third floor. We tried to walk as quiet as possible up the stairs so we didn’t attract any undeads.

  Henry paused before he opened the fifth floor door. He rubbed his temples again. Worry over his health continued to sweep through me. He scanned the hall through the small window in the door. “The coast is clear in this first hall.” He spoke in a loud whisper. “I’m going to open the door and we will slowly enter. We’ll knock on every door and clear the apartments. We will not split up. Everyone understand?” We all nodded.

  I felt my legs shaking, but I doubt anyone could see them in those huge workout pants of Henry’s. My heart was doing its best to pound through my chest and expose the fear that was running rampant through my veins.

  Henry opened the door and crept into the hall. Like good little soldiers, we followed behind him. Sophie made sure the door didn’t make a sound closing. At least she was good for something besides plucking every last one of my nerves.

  The first door was immediately on our right. I could hear everyone’s heavy breathing. Henry listened with his ear up to the door. He looked back at Sophie and nodded. He knocked.

  The anticipation was killing me. I was second in line so I knew I would probably be the first to shoot. I readied my Sig. Everyone else followed suit. We heard footsteps. Sophie continually scanned around us, watching for undeads or whatever else may creep around the corners. A nervous woman’s voice called from behind the door. “Who is it?”

  “It’s Henry from three-oh-five.” He spoke in his American accent, which took me aback for a moment. I was finally used to his British accent so his American accent sounded wrong. It didn’t fit him.

  “What do you want?”

  “My…uh…friends and I are sweeping the building. We are looking for undeads and checking on survivors.”

  “The radio said not to let anyone in.”

  “You have nothing to fear if you are not infected.” He signaled for us to lower our weapons.

  We heard the deadbolt click. The door cracked open about two inches, and we could see the tired brown eyes of a middle-aged woman.

  “Is there anyone infected in your apartment?”

  “Why do you want to know?” She was unsure about our vigilante crew.

  “We are just looking for undeads, and seeing if anyone needs help with anything.”

  “I’m fine.” She slammed the door shut.

  “Well, we aren’t off to a good start,” he sighed.

  No one answered in the next three apartments. We made it to the last apartment without coming across any undeads.

  Henry pressed his ear up to the door. He looked over to Sophie and shook his head. She tapped Nick on the shoulder and leaned into his ear. “Take over rear cover.” She walked up to Henry and he mouthed, Undeads. My breath caught in my throat, and I felt as if I would choke.

  He turned to us and quietly said, “Everyone back up a couple steps. I’m going to knock first, just in case. When we get the door open, be ready.” We all nodded.

  We stepped back and I swallowed hard, trying to keep my stoma
ch in its proper place. I looked back at Claire. She had a blank expression on her face. Nick nervously half smiled at me.

  Henry knocked, and, without pause, something slammed up against the door. We all gasped and jumped back even further. Henry turned around to shush us. He leaned back to the door and then nodded at Sophie.

  It looked like they had some sort of system already in place. Henry shot the door handle and Sophie kicked the door open. I was impressed that she could do that in her spiked heels, but then I realized that was why she wore them. They definitely weren’t just for looking good.

  Three undeads came stumbling out at us. The smell of rotting bodies was overwhelming, making my stomach protest. It was a man, woman, and small boy…maybe five-years-old. He was the first undead child that I had seen. His eyes were glazed over and putrid gray, like Nick described Jenna’s being. I couldn’t stop looking at him. A deep sadness ran through me.

  Then I saw all the gore. All three of them had their throats torn out. The man was missing an arm. The woman had a massive gash across her face so her jaw was exposed. The child looked virtually untouched, if you didn’t count the blackened sludge oozing from the wound in his neck.

  The woman lunged at me, and I fell back into Nate and Claire. The three of us tumbled over. I was fiercely trying to crab-crawl backward to get away from the undeads, when I felt someone grab my arms and drag me back. The child was snarling and grabbing at my feet. I had a feeling, if he had gotten me, I would have been his first meal.

  Henry and Sophie shot all three of them. The undeads collapsed on the floor, half in the hall and half in the apartment, in a pile of rotting-oozing flesh.

  It seemed like an eternity from the time Sophie kicked in the door to when they shot the family. In reality, it was only about ten seconds. Henry was trying to pull the rotting true dead corpses back into the apartment, with ill success. Their bodies were pulling apart as he tugged them back through the door.

  I became overwhelmed with emotion, paralyzed with fear. Nick was kneeling over me. “Elaina! Elaina!” He was shaking my shoulders. “Did they bite you?! Elaina!” I couldn’t respond. I just laid there, oblivious to the scurry of activity that surrounded me. I felt bile starting to fill my mouth and began choking. Nick flipped me over and I threw up.

  Henry pushed Nick out of the way. “Elaina! Elaina, please say something.” I saw the business end of a Sig in my peripheral as I started to come to. “Stand down! Stand down, now!” Henry was screaming. He was aiming his Sig at someone.

  I rolled over, and saw Nate aiming his gun at my head. I saw Sophie put her Sig up to Nate’s temple. Henry jumped up. I tried to get up, but my body wasn’t cooperating. I felt like an upside down turtle.

  “Stand down now, Nate, or you will regret it.” Sophie had a calm demeanor and spoke with confidence. Nate still focused his weapon on me.

  “It got her. I saw it get her.” He said it so quiet and calm that it was creepy. Henry grabbed my arm, pulled me up to a standing position, and looked into my eyes to get my attention.

  “Elaina. Did one of them get you?” I started to shake my head.

  Claire was going around me, looking for wounds. “She’s clear.”

  “You’re just saying that!” Nate yelled, still focusing his Sig on me.

  Claire stood up and inched her way between Nate and me. “Nate, please listen. She isn’t bit. She’s just in shock. Now lower your weapon.” Sophie still had her Sig at his temple. “Everyone, please. Just calm down and lower your guns.”

  Claire was so brave, trying to diffuse the situation. She reached out for Nate’s Sig and slowly took it from him. She immediately passed it to Henry, and he stuffed it into the back of his pants. Sophie put her Sig down. Nate stood there, shaking. Sophie cleared her throat and tucked the stray strands of her bleach-blond Barbie locks behind her ears.

  “You do that to her again, and I will kill you!” Henry raged.

  “Henry, calm down.” He glared at Sophie. “Well, now, that was the most excitement I have seen in ages!” She waved at Nick. “Come, Nick. Let’s raid.” Nick followed her without taking his eyes off of Nate, mumbling all sorts of obscenities and threats.

  Henry grabbed me, and held me close to him. I was too stunned to cry. All I could get out was, “It was a child.”

  “I know, love. I should have said that we were apt to see a child out here somewhere just to prepare you mentally. I’m sorry. That was my fault.”

  “Henry, this is not your fault,” Claire spoke sincerely to him. It sounded like she had a change of heart.

  “I should have prepared everyone more. We have to head back to our place and rethink our strategy.” Claire stepped over the rotting true deads and headed into the family’s apartment. I heard her relay Henry’s message of heading back to his apartment. Nate still stood in the same spot.

  “Elaina, love, say something.”

  I opened my mouth and it hung there for a moment until words started flowing. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

  Henry held me so I could look into his eyes. “Love, it’s okay. This isn’t exactly a picnic in the park. We’ll go back and figure out something, yeah?” I nodded my head.

  Nick, Claire, and Sophie came back out of the apartment, their arms loaded with nonperishable food items, medical supplies, linens, and clothing.

  “Check it out, Henry.” She held up a box of Junior Mints. “Your fave!” She was proud of her find. Henry smiled at her. I admit, I couldn’t continue to stay mad at her. After all, she did play a role in keeping Nate from killing me.

  Henry wrapped my arm around his waist, holding me firm at his hip as we walked slowly back down to his apartment.

  ***

  We made it back unscathed. No undeads were roaming around in the stairwell, thankfully. Henry walked me back to his bedroom, and sat me down on his bed. “Are you all right, my love?” He was rubbing my face with his thumb.

  “I think so. It just scared me. And seeing that child… It was overwhelming.” I was staring off, looking at nothing.

  “It’s okay, love. I agree. Seeing a child as an undead is heartbreaking. That wasn’t my first.” I didn’t want to ask how many children he had seen like that. The thought of children being purposely turned into undeads just for training purposes made my stomach twist into knots. He looked just as upset about it as I did.

  One by one, everyone came into the bedroom. Nick found a bottle of whiskey and a small juice glass in Henry’s cabinet. “Here. Have some. It will help soothe your nerves a bit.” Nick poured me a drink. I took a few sips. The fire burned my throat, but I could feel it relaxing me. I knew alcohol was not the answer, but Nick was right. I needed something to soothe my nerves.

  I managed to choke out a few words. “I’m sorry, everyone. It took me by surprise.”

  Claire sat down beside me and stroked my hair. She took my hand in hers. “It’s fine. As long as you weren’t hurt.” I shook my head. “Then that is what matters.” She smiled.

  I continued sipping on the whiskey. Henry stood, rubbing his temples and neck. He seemed to be still hurting from Sophie’s idiotic grenade toss. Then he said, “We need to rethink our plans.”

  “We aren’t leaving the area now, are we?” Claire was visibly concerned.

  “No. I’m thinking that we should split up.” Immediately, everyone protested. It was like a bunch of angry monkeys pouncing.

  “Wait! Please. Shut it, would you?” Henry held up his hands. “This is what we are doing. Three of us will go out and hunt and collect supplies. The other three will stay here in the flat.”

  Nick didn’t look pleased. “I don’t like this idea,” he mumbled.

  “I don’t care if you like it! This is what we are going to do. We will rotate groups. While one group is out, the other will rest.” Henry turned and went back down to the hallway closet. We all looked at each other in bewilderment. He was rummaging around and grumbling to himself.

  When he walked back, he had a p
air of walkie talkies. “We’ll use these to communicate. Hopefully, we will be able to get reception. They’re military issue so we should.” He handed one to Sophie and tossed the other back and forth in his hands.

  Everyone sat in silence. I continued to sip my whiskey, and Nick continued to refill my glass. I wasn’t going to argue. Henry grabbed the bottle from Nick, and took a long pull from it.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea to drink after your accident, Henry.”

  He glared at Nick. “Since when is my welfare any of your bloody concern?” Nick looked back and forth, like he didn’t know if he should leave or stay. Obviously, his sharp words made him uncomfortable. Henry took another drink. “Can I have some time alone with Elaina before we go back out?” With hesitation, the rest of the group headed back down the hall. Henry shut the door right behind them.

  “Hey, love.” He headed back to the bed.

  “Hey.” His eyes weren’t gleaming any more. I missed the warmth that I used to feel when I would look into his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his cool body, and he held me for what felt like hours, stroking my hair and kissing my forehead.

  “Listen.” His voice was a little raspy. “I know this is hard on you, but I need you to be that tough girl that I know.” I pulled away from him a little so I could see his eyes.

  “I don’t know if I can.”

  “I have faith in you, love. I do. I think it will help the group to see you as yourself.”

  “Henry,” I whispered and wrapped my arms around him. We held one another. He tried to make me feel whole, even though my heart was shattering. I wasn’t sure if I could lie.

  “Love, I’m sorry all of this is happening.” He pulled back and held my face. He was so sincere. I truly felt I could trust him. “We will get through this. I promise you.”

  “Please, don’t make promises that you can’t keep.”

  “I know we’ll get through this. Then we will get married, go on our honeymoon, and have some delicious nights to ourselves. Maybe we could even make a baby.”