Hate to Love You

by Ivy Symone

  “I want you bad,” he whispered to me. He kissed me softly on my lips. “But you’re not ready, are you?”

  I bit my bottom lip in between my teeth. “I don’t know.”

  “You’re not a virgin, are you?” he asked.

  “Why you ask me that?”

  “There was no blood. Your cherry’s been busted already. Either you’ve fucked before or you been letting some nigga play in this pussy for a minute,” he said.

  “I’ve done stuff,” was all I said.

  “So, does that mean you’ve had dick penetration?”

  I shook my head.

  A sly smile covered his face. “Can I be the first?”

  I smiled a little but gave an uncertain shrug.

  “Tonight?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said coyly.

  He stood to his full height before me and pulled down his boxer briefs without hesitation. His dick stuck straight out at me. There was a clear liquid at the tip like a drop of dew.

  I was fascinated. Without thinking, I reached out and touched the clear substance with my finger. “What is this?”

  “That’s pre-cum. It means I wanna fuck the shit out of you.”

  I looked up at him to see how serious he was. He was serious. Still fascinated, I wrapped my hand around him. It was hot and felt like it was pulsating in my hand. It was definitely thick. The head was just as girthy as the shaft. It looked like some of the other dicks I had seen on the porns I watched with Kenny. It was bigger than Kenny’s too. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it but it seemed as though he was growing harder and thicker the more I held onto him.

  I released him.

  “Do you want to proceed?” he asked me.

  The seriousness in his tone let me know this was no longer a game for him. Either I wimped out like the fourteen year old girl I was or I acted the age he needed me to be. A thought flashed into my mind thinking about I could be at home getting misused and abused by Kenny against my will.

  I nodded.

  Wasting no more time, he eased out of his briefs and climbed on top of me. He kissed me then whispered, “I’ve been waiting on this all night.”

  He kissed me again this time parting my lips using his tongue to caress mine. I went along with it returning the kiss, imitating whatever he did. My hands began to wander and touched him everywhere. I loved the feel of his rippled muscles. He kissed down my neck and over my collar bone. Eventually, his mouth found its way to my breasts again. He closed his lips around my nipples, encircling them with his tongue, causing them to harden and ache even more. A moan sounded from me. He found his way back up my neck and to my lips again where we locked in a sensual aggressive kiss.

  I could feel him grinding his thickness into my panty covered pie. He wanted in bad, but for some reason he wasn’t rushing. He had me hot and I was ready.

  He pulled away from my lips long enough to ask me tenderly, “Can I taste you?”

  I nodded again.

  Keeping our bodies still touching in some way Marcos eased down in between my legs. He kissed down my thighs before sliding my panties off. He positioned himself back in between my legs right in front of my love box. He held my legs open and eased one of his fingers inside me. Slowly, he picked up a nice rhythm while locking his gaze onto mine.

  “You like how this feel, Nephia?” he asked me.

  I did, and it was weird because it was what Kenny did to me all the time but it felt nothing like how Marcos was making me feel.

  He continued to talk soothingly to me as he finger fucked me. “You got some wet tight pussy and you ready for this dick too.”

  My hips began rocking on their own against the thrust of his finger. He eased another one inside me preparing me for the thickness of him. I closed my eyes enjoying the slow rhythm of his fingers going in and out caressing my walls and stimulating my juices to flow. His thumb gently worked its magic on my clit in a circular motion. I whimpered and tremored in response to his touch. He kissed my knee and planted kisses down my inner thighs from one to the next. He removed his fingers to spread my pussy lips apart. He then explored every fold and surface of my pussy with his tongue, causing me to cry out in pleasure. It seemed as if his mouth covered me in a French kiss. When his lips closed around my clit and suckled it ever so gently, I didn’t know what to do. I grabbed his head and moaned, “Marcos!”

  He continued to tickle my clit until I couldn’t take any more. It seemed like the more he did it the more ticklish it became and I felt like exploding with laughter. That explosive laughter I thought was building up inside me was actually me on the brink of having an orgasm. And because Marcos refused to stop, it took me to the edge once again. But instead of laughter, a much more intense sensation took over my body; something I couldn’t quite explain because it captured me by surprise. It was a scary feeling but at the same time it was a joyous one too. Nonetheless, it was overwhelming. The laughter turned into a loud wailing scream that I couldn’t control. It just came out. My body tensed and I could feel my pussy walls contracting rapidly.

  Definitely caught off guard, I became somewhat apprehensive and frightened. Marcos could sense it. He was so caring and loving about it. He came up to hold me and place delicate kisses on my face to vanquish the worry. “Are you okay? Do you want to continue?”

  I nodded.

  He didn’t rush but he continued to kiss on my body here and there. I could feel the warmth and hardness of him against me. He was still ready as ever. When he returned to my face he started kissing me passionately on the lips. Our tongues wrestled with one another as he slowly began grinding into me again. He intertwined my hands with his and for some reason I felt a connection with him. I felt closer to him. I was completely comfortable with him.

  As we continued to kiss and grope at one another somehow he worked himself deeper between my legs. My legs cooperated as I opened for him. I was ready to receive him. After a couple of skillful maneuvers the head of his dick found its own way to my wet opening. Careful not to move too fast, he began working his way inside without once having to let go of my hands. I squeezed his hands when I felt him breaking through my tightness.

  “Relax, baby,” he told me. “Breathe. I won’t hurt you; I promise.”

  I didn’t believe he was going to hurt me. So I did as he instructed. The more he worked inside me the more it began to feel so damn good. It felt good to him too because I could hear it in his breathing. His words quivered as he whispered to me, “You feel so good.”

  He squeezed my hands as he managed to enter deeper into me. I began to moan with each stroke. This wasn’t at all like I expected. This was so much more meaningful than most girls made it out to be. This would be a moment I would always remember. He made me feel so wanted, desired, comfortable and so good. It wasn’t about him dogging me out and being rough. Hell, I was reliant to say that we were making love. The intensity of it definitely felt like it. The way he held onto my hands, the reassuring kisses, the deep gaze into my eyes, the gentle but deep long strokes. My God! I didn’t want it to stop.

  “Fuck, Neph,” Marcos groaned. He kissed me wildly as he picked up the speed and depth.

  I wanted more. I began thrusting my hips forward against his. We were in sync creating a rhythm that was unique to what was developing between us.

  After a while of deep moaning, grunts, and groans I felt his rhythm stagnate and he buckled. I knew he was cumming especially when he groaned loudly and push deep into me. I didn’t want it to end.

  Soon, he lie still on top of me. His breathing was labored as well as mine. We both tried to regain control of our breathing. Both our hearts pounded wildly. He had a light glisten of sweat on top of his skin.

  He didn’t say anything as he slowly removed himself from me. He rolled to his back crossing an arm over his forehead. I didn’t know if I needed to say anything. He seemed to be in deep thought. Maybe it just sunk in that he just fucked a fourteen year old.

  _______
r />   The following morning he had me on all fours and fucked me doggy style. This time it was a little more aggressive than the night before. But I took it like a good girl.

  Oddly, he still hadn’t said much to me about what took place between us. We took a shower together and played around a little. He made sure Ada and his other servants provided me with a nice brunch before I left. He did a lot of talking on the phone while I ate. I stayed out of his way. I think one of his calls was to his mother.

  Instead of waiting on one of the boys to show up in the white SUV, he drove me home himself in his white Mercedes.

  Regardless if this was a one-time thing, I would always remember that weekend as one of the best weekends I’ve ever had in my life.

  Instead of taking me home, he dropped me off at Nikki’s as planned.

  Before I got out of the car, he reached over and took my hand in his. He studied our hands interlocked for a minute before he spoke. “When can I see you again?”

  “Whenever you have the time for me,” I said.

  “I’ll make the time. I just wanna know if you’re prepared for what’s about to come.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “It means you can’t back out of this now. At this point, it’s too late. You’re mine and you betta let every mothafucka that get in your face know that you belong to me.”

  I didn’t need to look at his face to know he was serious about every word he just spoke.

  I nodded. “I’m yours, Marcos.”

  “That’s what I wanted to hear. Give me a kiss,” he said softly.

  We met in the middle and shared affectionate pecks on the lips.

  “Call me later,” he told me.

  “I don’t know if you’re the busy type,” I said.

  “It don’t matter. Page me. I’ll call you back,” he told me.

  “Okay,” I said. I got out of the car and went to Nikki’s door. He didn’t pull off until he saw me go inside. I didn’t know it at the time but what we shared the night before was the beginning of his ownership over me. It was a done deal. I was his property.

  Chapter 6

  I was young and fresh, and it seemed as if Marcos couldn’t get enough of me. I was his every weekend. He never pressured me to be with him any time other than that. He respected the fact that I was still in school and as long as it was still in service, I had to go. I didn’t know who he was with during those times. Other girls in school tried to drop little slick shit once they realized I was his new girl. They would try to say how he messed around with this girl and that girl from the neighborhood. I didn’t care.

  One thing I admired about him was his insistence that I always go to school. He would always say he didn’t want a dumb bitch on his side. School was a must; that, I really appreciated in him.

  I was overly excited when he showed up with his crew to my schools end of year rally where Corvell, Nikki and I danced. Marcos being there to support me put a little extra confidence in my step. And I delighted over the fact that every girl in school was drooling over him and he was mine!

  How weird was that? Just weeks before I wasn’t thinking of having a boyfriend and here I was with this grown ass man.

  Once school was over, I was with him constantly. He respected my closeness with Jovelyn, Corvell and Nikki; therefore, he allowed them to come along most of the time. He even allowed them to sleep over with me at his house. Sometimes, Marcos wouldn’t be there but he made sure Ada and the rest of the servants took care of us. He would show up in the middle of the night whisking me off to his bedroom to do what he loved doing best.

  Now what was funny was because Marcos was accepting of Corvell, Cory began to bow down to his brother. I asked Marcos why he was comfortable with Corvell when most guys weren’t. He told me that Corvell’s sexual preference didn’t have shit to do with him. But he warned me that Corvell was the only man he would allow around me like that.

  But there was still Kenny. For some reason Jovelyn wouldn’t let me sleep alone whenever we were at home. We always slept in the same bed. However, that didn’t prevent Kenny from trying to hem me up in the hallway or in the kitchen when no one was around. He would grab me inappropriately and it was really frustrating.

  “Marcos,” I said to him one lazy June evening.

  “What, baby,” he said to me.

  “There’s something I wanna tell you,” I said carefully.

  He looked back at me. “What is it?”

  “It’s my stepdaddy,” I sighed.

  “What about that nigga?”

  “He won’t leave me alone.”

  A scowl covered Marcos’s face. He sat up fully and asked, “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, he’s been bothering me inappropriately,” I couldn’t bring myself to even look him in the face.

  “How long has this been going on?”

  “Since I was little. He went to prison for a little while but he came back a few months ago. He still be trying to bother me. He tells me if I say anything that he’ll kill me, Jovi, and my mama.”

  “Why are you just now saying something to me?” Marcos was livid. He jumped up from the sofa in the hearthroom.

  “Where are you going?” I asked.

  “What did you tell me that shit for, Neph?” he asked me with fire in his eyes.

  “I don’t know.”

  “You told me for a mothafuckin reason,” he said angrily. “I’ll be back.”

  “Marcos!” I called out to him. “What are you about to do?”

  He didn’t respond to me. He disappeared down the hallway. I looked over at Ada in the kitchen. She just shook her head and continued to move about.

  When I heard the sound of his truck peeling out I grew a little nervous. What had I done?

  Ada looked over at me and motioned for me to come in the kitchen. I sat at the breakfast bar while I watched her and two others prepare for dinner later.

  “How old are you chile?” she asked.

  “Fourteen.” I answered.

  “Do you know Marcos that well?” she asked.

  “I know what he wants me to know,” I answered honestly.

  “Figures. You know that boy ain’t wrapped too tight. I love him to death but he got a few screws loose. You should know that just by the fact he got your little ass up in here screwing you to death every chance he can get. Now I will say this. Not many people get to see the inside of this place. He got other apartments more in the city area but his daddy built this place. His daddy left it for him. Hell, it’s bigger than what Marcos’s mama and sister live in. But him and Andrés are just alike; they some mean bastards. I know. I worked for Andrés while he was living over here in the states.”

  “So, where is Marcos’s daddy now?” I asked.

  “He’s in Colombia. That’s his home country. He fled from the states years ago. He placed his wife and two kids here ‘cause he didn’t want nobody to link them together for their safety. His brother was already living here so Andrés thought this was the perfect place to hide his family out of harm’s way. Well, he didn’t think his son would get that same itch he got and want to run shit. But Andrés refused to let Marcos get his hands dirty. Marcos does a little dirt but not enough to get him hemmed up by the feds. I think he just like the thrill of it all cause the man got enough ‘clean’ money to not worry about a thing for the rest of his grandchildren’s life. Cause Andrés done revitalized a whole village down there in Colombia with all the legit business he done set up there. The only thing is he uses his legit businesses to launder all his dirty money.”

  “Wow!” was all I could say.

  “Now don’t say nothing ‘less he tell you all this hisself. I just thought you should know. You’re such a pretty smart little girl and I hate to see you get caught up in his mess.”

  I nodded. She definitely gave me something to think about. But at this point I wasn’t sure I could just walk away from Marcos. The feelings I had for him had grown strong.

  Whe
n Marcos returned, it was the middle of the night and the house was quiet. He woke me up by gently rocking me.

  “Baby?” he whispered.

  “Hmm?”

  “I need you.”

  I smiled and opened my eyes. I knew what that meant. He must have had a stressful night.

  Marcos snatched the covers off of me and grabbed me by my ankles. He forced my legs apart and tugged at my panties until they ripped in his hands. Like a drug to sooth his nerves he needed to eat me. I never turned him down. I let him take care of his addiction until I came in his mouth. It was what he needed most nights. Sometimes penetration wasn’t even necessary. But tonight, he needed to relieve some stress and he tore my ass up.

  ______

  I soon learned that Kenny had been attacked in a random act of violence and died of multiple stab wounds. I never brought it up but I speculated that Marcos knew something about Kenny’s attack.

  Lailani was upset about it the most but she could see a little peace. Jovelyn wasn’t as upset as I thought she would have been. After his burial she whispered to me, “The boogeyman is gone now.”

  Was there something she was telling me? All this time her boogeyman was her own father? Had Kenny been touching her too? It made me angry all over again and felt his death was justified.

  To help my mama get through this trying time I opted to stay home with her for a while until she felt better. Marcos didn’t like it but he went on about his business.

  So, since he thought I was at my mama’s, he decided to play around with his other little girlfriends. I know because Nikki called me to inform me that he was messing with some girl in the building over from hers. She was the reason why he had been over there the day I met him. The girl’s name was Lisa. With the fat wad of cash Marcos had given me, I caught a cab over to Nikki’s.