That’s when it hit me. He was never planning on sharing it with me.
I cleared my throat, pulling at the skin of my neck. “I’m your employer. I have it on file.”
“Your dad is my employer,” he replied in a flat tone.
“Jesse, let’s cut the crap. Where are you?”
“Why do you care?”
“Uh, because you were supposed to be here four hours ago!” I exclaimed. Why was he being so difficult?
“Is that all?”
“Huh?”
“Is that the only reason why you called me? Because I missed work?”
I was worried about you, dumbass.
“Yes, of course,” I lied.
I heard him sigh. I expected him to say something else, but the line remained silent. Listening intently, I could hear the muffled sounds of what sounded like a television in the background. “Where are you?”
“Rocky, I’m going to miss work today,” he abruptly cut me off.
“I see that.” I bit my lip and frowned. “Are you coming in tomorrow?”
He paused for a beat before replying. “You know what? I don’t think so.”
“Fuck, Jesse! What the hell is wrong with you? Is this about our fight yesterday?”
He grunted. “Everything has to be about you, right?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” I reached out and gripped my steering wheel as tightly as I could. Where was a stress ball when you needed one?
Jesse’s voice dropped as if somebody was listening to him. “You know what? I’ll tell you everything one day, but for now—”
“You’re not comfortable, I get it!” I snapped in ferocity.
“Goodbye, Rocky.”
“Jesse!”
Two tiny beeps announced that he had just hung up on me. I stared at my phone dumbly, wondering what the fuck just happened.
“Did Jesse really quit?” I gaped at the blank phone screen and shut my eyes in frustration. In the two short days my parents had been gone, I had not only sold penises, angered a long time customer, and broken into an office—I had also caused an employee to quit too. That stupid comments and complaints box my mother put at the front of the store would probably be filled with my name.
The combination of my parka and the car heater was starting to make me feel as if I were in a sauna. Yanking at my scarf, I shook my head. “Jesse didn’t quit. He’d be back tomorrow.”
***
“I think he’ll be back.” Stephanie winced as she said the words, an obvious tell that she was lying.
I rolled my eyes. “He’s not. I can tell. You didn’t hear him.”
“Well, maybe it’s a good thing he’s not coming back.”
“What do you mean? How could Jesse leaving again be a good thing?” I demanded.
“He was only around for what? A little more than a week? A single week and already your life was turned upside down.”
I snorted. “You’re exaggerating.”
She shook her head. “Do you remember how it was after he left for Charleston the first time?”
“Ugly? Grey? Cloudy?” I muttered.
“You stopped getting in trouble. You focused on your art and you got into a great college.” She gnawed at her bottom lip and frowned. “Who knows? Maybe this way you’ll go back to bettering yourself again.”
Maybe she was right. Now that he was gone I could focus on…what exactly?
It was no use. Jesse had once again taken over my every thought.
With a shake of my head, I muttered, “No. This isn’t right.”
Stephanie let out an exasperated groan. “Why? I got over him, why can’t you?”
“I think we both know the answer to that.” I pursed my lips and frowned. “No, he can’t cut me off again. At least not until he explains himself.”
“Explains what, exactly?”
“Why he keeps leaving.”
Chapter 18
The Tyler residence was located at the edge of town, tucked inside a cul-de-sac of tiny houses. The area of town was once thought to be a “bad one” but due to community rehabilitation and remodeling actually became one of the most sought after neighborhoods in the county. It was a neighborhood I never frequented much once Jesse left, and seeing it again brought back a bittersweet nostalgia that pinched my heart.
It was nearing ten in the morning by the time I pulled up to Jesse’s old house. Though I was sure it made me look like some kind of criminal, I opted to park right under a tree, almost as if I was hiding. Then again if I really was hiding it would have been an awful spot, given that the tree was sparse and dead from winter and did absolutely nothing to shield my car.
Licking my chapped lips, I eyed the house nervously. It seemed the Tylers missed out on the remodeling boom, or probably couldn’t afford it. The tiny ranch style house still looked as I remembered it from high school with pale peach vinyl siding, oddly placed green and white striped awnings, and a broken chimney. The awnings were so tattered and torn that the edges flapped in the winter wind and sounded oddly like gunshots.
“Okay, this is it. You’re going to confront him, ask what his deal is, and then just leave him alone…forever.” Even imagining saying goodbye to him hurt me all over again, but I knew it had to be done. Taking one final breath, I exited the car and trudged up the icy pathway towards the brick steps that led to the front door. From the looks of it, Jesse was doing a pretty bad job at upkeeping. The pathway had not been shoveled, causing snow to freeze into packed ice. I nearly fell on my ass about three times during the short walk.
Trembling slightly, I lifted my gloved hand and knocked on the door softly. Taking a step back, I waited nervously, expecting Jesse to barge out and demand I leave. After almost a minute had passed and still no answer, I knocked again. This time my knock was firm and loud.
Still nothing.
Frowning, I pressed my ear to the door and heard the familiar muffled sounds of the television. As I leaned my head onto the chipped green paint, the door flew open, knocking me forward so I fell on my knees into the foyer. A cold winter air crept up under my coat and blew stacks of paper around in the house. I scrambled up and shut the door, panting uncontrollably. Being blindsided by a wintry blast did not help my pent up nervousness.
“Who’s there?” a deep, raspy voice called out to me. “Jesse?”
My heart threatened to leap out of my chest and slither out the door. Shit. It was Mrs. Tyler.
I gulped. “Um, no. It’s Rocky.”
“Rocky?”
Deciding that yelling between walls wasn’t healthy for the poor woman, not to mention being incredibly bad manners, I walked forward to the den to reveal myself. Once I made it into the dimly lit room, I screeched to a halt.
The woman in front of me was not the foul mouthed, high spirited woman with blazing eyes that I remembered. This woman looked frail, as if one poke would cause her to shatter into pieces. Her skin looked leathery—thin and veiny in some places—and her once dark hair was now splotched with gray strands. She was perched on top of a blue and white checked armchair with a dark green knitted shawl wrapped around her thin shoulders. A clear plastic tube ran from her nostrils down the length of her chest and to the floor before culminating in a gigantic tank of oxygen.
I swallowed back a bitter taste in my mouth and tried to smile. “Mrs. Tyler, I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m—”
“Rocky.” It sounded as if it were difficult for her to talk. Like stones were scratching her vocal cords each time she formulated a word.
Feeling guilty, I bowed my head in apology. “Um, I’m sorry for bothering you. I better go.”
Right when I turned to walk away, I heard one stark command. “Wait.”
I instantly froze. Though her voice didn’t hold the same amount of authority it used to, there was still something frightening in her inflection. Somehow I knew if I left I’d regret it. I turned back towards her and frowned.
Her pale lips were drawn straigh
t. “Sit.”
With a slight nod of my head, I glanced around and spotted the old couch I had once spilled orange juice on during high school. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw the remnants of the liquid still painted there.
Mrs. Tyler waited until I was fully seated and staring back at her before she spoke. “I don’t get visitors much. It’s nice.
The fake smile was a permanent fixture on my face. “I’m really sorry to bother you, but I was actually looking for—”
“Jesse.” Her face suddenly broke into a grimace and for a moment I couldn’t help but wonder if saying his name was painful. That theory was thrown out the window when her body shook and a barrage of coughs overtook her. She gasped for air, making the unmistakable sounds of wheezing that much louder.
I winced. “Um, do you want me to get water?”
“N-no.” She took a deep breath and smiled weakly. “This is an everyday occurrence. I’m used to it.”
“I’m sorry.” The words felt empty, as if nothing I could say to her could even come close to how she must be feeling. Fortunately, she seemed touch by my efforts.
She took a few moments before speaking again, taking quick breaths. The small odometer on her tank flew back and forth. My eyes followed it, curious as to how much oxygen this poor woman’s lungs could hold.
As if noticing the concern on my face, she finally smiled. “It’ll take a lot more to knock me out. The doctors suggested I do surgery, but nah, I don’t think I’ll need it.”
“You should listen to your doctors,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
To my relief she merely shrugged and tapped against the blue tank. “That’s why this is here, right?”
I nodded, not knowing what else to say.
She leaned back into her chair, obviously fighting off an impending cough. Her purple tinted lips curled into a smile. “You always did love my son, didn’t you?”
“Excuse me?” I blinked, completely taken aback.
She nodded her head slowly. “A woman always knows. It’s in the way you looked at him and the way you always followed him around like a puppy dog.”
Ah, there was the sass I remembered.
I pursed my lips. I really had no time for her games. “Do you know where he is?”
Her lips formed a slight pout. “I never know what he’s up to. I’m actually surprised he came back.”
“Why?” It was a question that didn’t need any asking. We both knew.
“When his father left it really affected him. I always knew he favored him more than me and I could tell it broke his heart.”
“Well of course it would—”
“No, you don’t understand. He wanted me to leave.” She shook her head sadly. “I know I didn’t deserve his love. I was never there for him. How could a son love a mother who was always out at the bar or peddling drugs on the street corner?”
I shifted uncomfortably. This wasn’t how I imagined the day going.
Her raspy voice bounced off the empty walls of the rundown house. It was a bit sad to imagine a child growing up in the dank space, and now that I was older, I had nothing but respect for Jesse’s unbelievable way of coping with everything. Maybe he was right—I was privileged.
I shook my head and listening to Mrs. Tyler’s litany. It was obvious she missed having company. Despite the trouble she gave Jesse growing up and the way she took advantage of anybody who’d let her, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the woman. No one deserved to be locked away from society like this.
She sighed and shut her eyes. For a moment she did not move and I found myself almost jumping out of my chair to shake her awake. Finally, her eyes pried open one after the other. “You know he loved you too.”
“What?” I breathed. I shook my head in a hurry. “No, we were only friends.”
She snorted. “No, honey. He loved you. Do you remember when he got expelled?”
How could I not?
“I was in no shape to deal with the hooligan I was sure he’d turn out to be. Hell, I was never even ready to raise a child! You know he was an accident, right? One I never wanted, but yet I did my best to raise him.”
Okay, maybe she did deserve to be locked away.
“He didn’t want to leave, but I knew he needed to. There was no way I could raise him into a good man. How could I when I wasn’t a good woman myself?” She paused, probably waiting for me to object, to compliment her, but for what? Realizing I would not talk, she continued, “I called his father and demanded he take him away. If he thought he could escape parental responsibility, well, he had another think coming.”
Her eyes grew glassy as if she were picturing a far off time and place. “When Richard came to pick him up, well, he practically had to drag him out of here and pry his fingers off that door over there.” She lifted a bony finger and pointed towards the front hallway. “I knew he wasn’t sad about leaving me. He would have followed his father if it weren’t for you.” She lifted her gaze and stared straight into my eyes. The look behind them was one of jealousy and awe. “That’s how I know he loved you.”
I shifted in my seat, feeling my jeans scratch against the worn canvas of the couch. Focusing on the slight pain of my skin helped me ignore the pain in my heart. “With all due respect, I don’t think that’s the case. If it were, why did he shut me out? Why didn’t he visit just once?”
“It’s because he was worried of dragging you down with him.”
“What?” I asked in alarm.
She nodded knowingly. “It was also because he was worried he’d be dragged back here—”
“Mom!” Jesse seemingly appeared out of nowhere. There were about eight grocery bags in his hands that he gripped almost effortlessly. Opening his hands, the bags fell to the ground, causing cans and fruits to roll everywhere.
I immediately jumped to my feet. “Jesse!”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “What are you doing here?”
“I-I…” I stammered, unable to speak. I’d never seen Jesse look so angry before. I bit my lip and flinched. “I was looking for you.
“Looking for me?” He shut his eyes and remained quiet.
Not knowing what else to do, I dropped to my knees and began sorting through the groceries. Mrs. Tyler watched with interest as I picked up each box, can, and fruit and placed them in their respective bags.
“What did she tell you?” Jesse’s eyes flew to his mother, who had an unmistakable look of mischief on her face. She really was enjoying watching Jesse squirm.
I abruptly stood and held out an orange for him. When he swiped it away, I answered, “Um, just that—”
“You were leaving her again.” Mrs. Tyler’s raspy tone sent shivers down my spine. She sounded almost happy about it.
I frowned and said softly, “No, she didn’t tell me that.”
“Well, she should have,” he snapped.
“So it’s true?” My voice cracked with emotion. All I could think of were the words, not again. I turned towards his mother and pointed in her direction. “You’re really going to leave her like this? How can you even look at yourself in the mirror?”
“How can she look at herself?” He gritted his teeth and shook his head with a feral sort of ferocity. “I tried, I really did. I wanted to make things better between us and she’s just here calling me a failure and acting like the bad mom she always was.”
“Stop right there, Jesse,” I hissed, appalled. “You’re really going to talk about your sick mom like that?”
Guilt clouded his eyes. “You’re right.”
“I am?” I took a step back and blinked. I wasn’t expecting him to let up that easily.
He reached out and grabbed my wrist. “Come on.”
“What?”
“Nothing I say can make you understand. I have to show you.”
I felt myself being tugged forward. “Where are we going? I have work!” I glanced over my shoulder. “Your mom—”
“Has a nurse coming. I’d bee
n doing research ever since I arrived and hired her yesterday.”
“When you didn’t come in. Of course.” Understanding flooded me. I pulled against him and wriggled my wrist free. Crossing my arms over my chest, I shook my head fervently. “Why would I go anywhere with you?”
He sighed and shot me a guilty look. “I know I haven’t been that open with you and the reason is…”
“What, Jesse? More bullshit?” I shot back.
“Listen, I—” He gulped. “You’re an artist and you know that a picture is worth a thousand words, right?”
“You’re going to show me a picture?” I squeaked.
“No, I’m going to show you something even better. Something that’ll make you understand everything I’ve kept from you. Just…please come with me. It’s important.” He reached out and once again took my wrist into his hand.
My heart skipped a beat. Though a small voice in the back of my mind reminded me that he’d only be leaving me again, I focused on the fact that this time—even if it was just once—he wanted to bring me with him. Unfortunately, reality beckoned.
“I have work. You know, the job you left behind?”
“So call someone in! I’m sure you can pull strings. What about Belle?”
“Seriously?” I scoffed. “She’d be on the phone with my parents in no time, probably making up a stupid lie. Besides, I already switched shifts with Maurice in order to come over here. He’s about to get off soon, meaning I need to relieve him.”
Before I knew it we were outside, shivering as the cold wind wrapped us both in its tight embrace. However, even Jack Frost’s kiss didn’t hold a candle to Jesse Tyler’s warmth. The skin around my wrist heated from his touch, leaving me feeling quite nice.
“Isn’t there anybody you can call?” he asked in exasperation.
“Where are we going? You can’t just expect me to pick up and leave with you.”
His face darkened. “Of course not. I don’t expect anything from you.”
I was on a roll and wasn’t about to stop. “What if I’m not comfortable? Ever think about that, Mr. Secrecy? What if I’m sick of your bullshit?”
He immediately released his hold on me and took a step back. A look of pain flashed over his eyes. In a softer tone he asked, almost pleaded, “Please. I’d like to show you something. It would mean a lot.”
Two Outta Three (Two Outta Three #1) Page 13
