The Willingness to Burn

by J. P. London

“Jesus Christ. What were those guys here for? Did you order lunch?” Dexter joked.

  Jace smirked and looked up from the documents. “Nah, I’m trying to diversify a bit.”

  “So you’re investing in homeless people. Wait, don’t tell me: You hire the homeless and in exchange for their work, they get one McDonald’s cheeseburger per hour,” Dexter said taking a seat at the chair opposite Jace’s desk.

  “Jesus, man, I’m not even that cruel.”

  “Hey that’s not so bad, I could have said the McRib.”

  “If I wanted them to take poison, I’d just hand them a bottle with a skull and crossbones on it. I feel like it would be easier and cheaper.”

  “Yeah, yeah. So what did the hobos have to pitch?”

  “There looking for money for a real estate fund,” Jace said, his eyes more focused on his computer then on the conversation.

  “Anything good?” Dexter asked. Jace finished typing out an email to their on-staff investigator then turned to face Dexter. He was beaming with a bright smile across his face. He had that look like he could barely contain himself.

  “Just buy and sell stuff. Buy in bulk at a discount sell for more, you know. Why the hell are you so happy?”

  “What? It’s a great day! I can’t just have a great day?”

  “Have you been in Mark’s office this morning?” Jace said suspiciously. Mark was always looking for someone to drink with. If you accidently stumbled into his office, or the bathroom stall next to him, you were almost certainly given a beverage.

  “No, why?”

  “Never mind.”

  “All right, so here it is, I’ve been wining and dining this lawyer.”

  Jace grinned. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, he’s a partner with Leaman Cooper Stacks.”

  “Okay, I like this even more.”

  “Good, ‘cause I need you to come to the meeting with me.”

  Jace laughed. “You can’t handle this one?”

  “He specifically asked to speak to the guy that is going to be handling his money. And I gave him my normal spiel about you know only the finest blah, blah, blah, but he wants to meet you.”

  “All right, yeah, as long as Mark is cool with it, I’m game. When’s the meeting?”

  “Seven. And what does Mark care? It’s all money to him.”

  “Yeah, but there are reasons why you and I have different jobs. There’s a reason why they don’t have me meet with new clients. Just clear it with him and I’m in.”

  “All right, all right,” Dexter conceded. “You know this is Mark who once rented out a Chuck E Cheese for a hookers and blow party right?”

  “God, now that’s a night I wish I was there for,” Jace said, gazing up at the ceiling.

  “Yeah, I know, how come stuff like that doesn’t happen anymore?”

  “Everyone talks too much, everyone’s got smart phones now. You can’t have a partner in a prestigious law firm caught on camera with a hooker and a pile of blow.”

  “Doesn’t stop Mark,” Dexter pointed out.

  “Partner at a law firm. Much different than partner at a hedge fund.”

  “Ain’t that the truth.”

  “All right, talk to him and let me know. I’m here if you need me.”

  “All right.” Dexter slapped his hands on the arms of the chair and stood up.

  Chapter 12

  “So, what can I do to help?” Maddy asked, leaning her elbows on the smooth granite of the center island.

  “You, darling, can sit there looking beautiful.” Jace smiled. “Perfect, just like that.”

  Maddy shot Jace a look. “And what else can I do to help?” She began tapping her foot on the ground impatiently.

  Jace grinned at her. “Do you want to pour us some wine and help me with some stirring?”

  “That I can absolutely do,” Maddy said with a smile. She pushed up off the granite and walked over to the wine rack. “Which one of these am I opening?”

  “C’mon, Miss Potts, I feel like you should know this.”

  “I don’t know, you with your fine selection here,” she jabbed.

  “Hey, I just buy based on price and recommendation. That’s all just booze to me.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Maddy smiled to herself. “Anything you don’t want me to open?”

  “Nope.”

  “All right.” Maddy pulled out a bottle and placed it on the counter. She maneuvered her way around Jace in the kitchen, unnecessarily placing her hands on him as she passed to grab the wine key. Jace leaned back and blew her a kiss. She kissed his neck and continued on her mission. After uncorking the bottle, Maddy poured each of them a glass and set one by Jace.

  “Okay, now what am I stirring?”

  Jace put the chef’s knife down and grabbed the glass of wine. “Okay, once I finish dicing up these mushrooms, were gonna throw them in that pan with some oil.”

  “Mm, sounds delicious.”

  “Just you wait,” Jace said, taking a sip from the glass. He made a face at Maddy. “Goddamn I have good taste in wine.”

  “Well, it’s really easy when you only buy it if the price tag has three digits,” Maddy said then took a sip herself. “Mm, that is good.”

  “You see, I really know my stuff,” Jace joked.

  “You know, I bet that I could switch out every bottle here for one that’s a third the price and you’d never notice.”

  “You know what, darling? I think you’re absolutely right.”

  Jace picked up the chef’s knife and continued to chop up the mushrooms on a wooden cutting board. He separated the already diced mushrooms, and Maddy swept them in a bowl with the onions then put them in the pan and began stirring.

  “So then why bother?” Maddy asked as she stirred vigorously.

  “Well, for entertainment sake, I suppose.”

  “Oh, all those ladies you entertain?” she asked with a bit of sass. Jace dropped the chef’s knife and stepped behind Maddy and threw his arms around her waist.

  “Yes for aaaalll the women I entertain.” He kissed her on the neck.

  “I knew it.”

  “You did?”

  “Yup, I just stay with you because you’re good in bed.”

  “I knew it!”

  Maddy laughed.

  “It’s more about the show, ya know?” Jace admitted to her.

  “I know. That way in case you ever end up back here with a partner or perspective client, he can see that you know how to blow money just like he does.”

  “You’re absolutely right.” She leaned her head back and tilted to kiss Jace.

  Together, they continued to cook dinner, touching each other at every excuse, laughing, and drinking wine.

  “So, I think I found a new place,” Maddy said proudly.

  “Did you?”

  “Yep.”

  “Whereabouts?”

  “Hoboken, your old stomping grounds.” Maddy leaned into him and made a kissy face, her mouth filled with food.

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah it’s a two-bedroom.”

  “Are you getting a roommate?”

  “No, just for the extra space. It’s a railroad anyway, so I have to walk through one room to get to another.”

  “Ahh, I gotcha, did you sign anything yet?”

  “No, not yet, but I’m hoping for this week.”

  “Well, you know … you could always move in here.”

  Maddy smiled. “I know.” She leaned in and kissed Jace’s jawline. “But no, I need my own place. Even if I never see it.”

  “I was gonna say, you’re here three or four nights a week as it is.”

  “Is that a problem, Mr. Clark?”

  “The only problem is that you’re not here the other three or four.”

  “Sweet talker.” She kissed him again.

  “So when are you thinking about moving?”

  “Well, I told them that I could move next month, and my landlord is kinda itching to get me out, so maybe as
soon as two weeks.”

  Jace looked up, thinking of his schedule. “Two weeks from now would be …”

  “I’m not moving until you get home from Chicago.” Maddy shook her head and smiled slightly.

  “Oh, okay, great.”

  “Yeah, and my dad and sister and coming to help.”

  “Okay, cool.”

  “And he told me to tell you that he’s bringing beer and Sarah is driving so you’d better be ready.”

  Jace chuckled. “I love the way your family does things.” He smiled intimately at her.

  “Oh, believe me; they like you, too.” Maddy popped a piece of broccoli on her fork into Jace’s mouth.

  “Should I bring anything?”

  “Cigars, but don’t tell anyone I said that.” Maddy put her finger up to her lips.

  “What’s the big secret?”

  “Sarah will be mad, but Dad will love you for it.”

  Jace grinned. “I gotcha.”

  Chapter 13

  Diane splashed water in her face. She wiped her eyes and stared into the mirror. The face in the mirror no longer looked like her own. Her cheeks were sunken in. The cords of her neck visible. Her eyes were bloodshot from vomiting. And no matter how much of the poison she got out, there was always more in her.

  It looked like she had aged a hundred years in just one. The few remaining strains of hair that she still had were losing their grip, and every day was a struggle to watch more of them fall out. She looked at her head wrap with despairing hopelessness. She smelled like death, and she knew it. The chemo excreted its harsh odor through her pores and was a constant reminder of her condition and the venomous treatment. Her intention to be positive and keep looking at the bright side had changed from something she felt to simply something she pretended for the sake of those around her.

  Diane grabbed the head wrap and dressed her head in it. She tried to ignore the few strains of hair that fell out as she prepared herself, but her eyes counted each one. She looked in the mirror again and forced a smile. It was important to keep up appearances.

  As she walked down the stairs, she could hear the closing of the recliner in the living room. Bill was just getting up as she rounded the corner. She leaned up against the wall.

  “You ready, babe?” Bill called out.

  “I was thinking of staying home today.”

  “You were?” he asked in a much softer tone.

  “Yeah, Sandra’s at the store, I can just tell her to lock up when her shift is over.”

  Bill nodded. “We got Saul coming in today,” Bill said, trying to entice to her.

  “You think he can wait until next week to hear the bad news?”

  “Ehh, it’s better to get it done if you’re feeling up to it. Besides, you’ve been cooped up in here all weekend. Let’s get some fresh air at least.”

  Diane conceded, “Alright.”

  Bill walked over and put his arms around Diane. “You okay, babe?”

  “Ehh, it’s just a rough day is all.”

  “If you want, I can handle this for you.”

  “No. It’s my thing, I’ll go.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah.”

  “All right.” Bill kissed Diane, and the pair left the house and took the short ride downtown to the store.

  When they reached the store, Saul, a tall, older man, was already waiting for them inside.

  “Oh, look, it’s my two favorite people!”

  “Hey, Saul. How’s it going?” Bill greeted him.

  “Good.” Saul extended his hand and was met by the firm grasp of Bill’s hand. “And how are you two today?”

  Diane ignored his question, not wanting to lie, and not wanting to tell the truth.

  “C’mon back,” Diane said.

  “I’ll be out here if you need me.”

  Diane smiled at Bill.

  Saul followed Diane back behind the glass display cases and through a large security door to the back office.

  “I have some great stones for you today, maybe the best I’ve ever seen,” Saul began.

  Diane sighed. It was a line she had heard before and had heard nearly every time Saul arrived. He always had the best stones he’d ever seen, and it was always a great deal. And she always absolutely had to buy them.

  “Listen, Saul,” Diane said softly, “I wanted to see you today to talk in person.” She paused for effect. “I’m not doing so well, as I’m sure you have noticed.”

  Saul took note of her head dress. He had seen it many times before, but even he could see that she was starting to fade away.

  “I see,” Saul said meekly.

  “We’re going to be closing up the shop. At least, for now, I just don’t have the energy to keep it going.”

  “I’m very sorry to hear that. You have always been very pleasant to work with.”

  “You too, Saul, that’s why I wanted to do this in person.”

  “I understand. But since I’m here already, let me just show you what I have, for old time’s sake.”

  Diane smiled and conceded. “You never quit, do you?”

  Saul laughed his charming chuckle. Then he lifted his briefcase and placed it on the desk. He unlocked and unbuckled its hinges then spun it to face her. He stood next to her and began pointing at the stones and speaking about them. He was talking about rubies, but Diane wasn’t listening. As soon as the briefcase spun around, her eyes were drawn to a set of diamonds. Perfectly cut and beautiful. They caught the light and glistened.

  “Tell me about these two,” Diane commanded, her eyes never leaving the stones.

  “Oh, those are the stones I was talking about before,” Saul said with an upbeat tone. “They are nearly perfect. Perhaps the best set I’ve ever seen.”

  “How much?”

  “For you, I can work out a good price. For all the years we’ve worked together.”

  Diane stared down at the stones and the phrase, “Diamonds are forever”, echoed in her mind. She wasn’t sure if it was due to her own impending mortality or just a catchy slogan, but for some reason, that day, those diamonds meant something more to her. They were special. They were something that would last forever. Just as she hoped her memory would. Diane bought the entire case, as that was the custom. You don’t get to pick and choose with a guy like Saul. It’s all or nothing. But she would never get to sell any of the gems. The next day, she collapsed and was taken to hospital, never to leave.

  Chapter 14

  Two boys around the age of ten kicked a soccer ball about in a lush green field. Sitting in the bleacher was their coach holding onto a clipboard with a sack of soccer balls tied up by his feet.

  Jace had been dropped off earlier by his mom on her way to work. She worked nights, and on nights when she was working, she would drop him off to soccer practice and his dad would pick him up on his way home.

  Jace and Benny, the coach’s son, were the only two left over from soccer practice, which had gotten out about fifteen minutes earlier. The coach, a working man himself, was always sympatric to others schedules, and took no fault in waiting an extra few minutes to make sure all of his players got home safely. After all, they were his responsibility for the time being. That’s how he saw it, anyway.

  The grey work truck pulled up and parked in the distance. His father’s signature Be-Be-BEEEEEP-BEEEP echoed throughout empty field. Jace looked up from his highly competitive, “You can’t get past me”, game with Benny to see his dad getting out of the truck to stand by the door and wait for him, as he always did.

  “That’s my dad,” Jace said to Benny.

  “All right, see you later, Jace!”

  “Bye, Benny!” he called out “Bye Coach!” Jace waved enthusiastically then he ran across the field ,his cleats gripping the ground then releasing it with every step. His dad raised his hand up and waved to the coach from across the field. Jace reached the truck and his dad opened the passenger door for him.

  “Hey, Dad!”

  �
��Hey, Pal. How was practice?” his father asked.

  “It was good.”

  “Good. Why don’t ya hop on in?”

  Jace got in the truck and continued his conversation when his dad got in as though there was no break. “The coach has us break into twos and take turns scoring and defending.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Yeah, me and Tommy teamed up and played against Benny and Craig.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah, and we scored on them almost every time!”

  “That’s great, Pal.”

  “Yeah, Craig’s really good at scoring, but he’s not so good at defending, so we kept going to his side to score.”

  “That sounds like good practice.”

  “Yeah.”

  “How ‘bout school today?”

  “It was boring; we had a spelling test today, but I think I did good.”

  “That’s great. You ought too, we practiced enough.”

  “Yeah, there was only one word I wasn’t sure about.”

  “What was that?”

  “Confusion.”

  “Give it a try,” Dad encouraged.

  “C O N F U S I O N.”

  “That’s it!”

  “Now I just hope that’s what I really wrote on the test,” Jace said, nervously twisting his seat belt.

  “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

  “I hope so.”

  The two took off in the truck. The passenger seat usually was reserved for a large man that Dad had partnered with for bigger jobs. The seat was always set back so far but that day it was just right. Either Dad brought it up or Frank, Dad’s partner didn’t work with him that day.

  “So Pal, we got some stuff to talk about,” Dad began.

  “What’s that?” Jace asked. The truck was Dad’s favorite place to talk. Something about driving seemed to calm him, and that was when he always had grown up conversations with Jace.

  “Corey and Dan are going to be staying with us for a little while.”

  “Okay,” Jace said, then thought a moment. “For how long?”

  “Not sure yet. It’s going to be a while, though.”

  “Why?”

  “Uncle Steve lost his job a few weeks back, and it’s going to give him some breathing room to get everything together.”