Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon, Vol. 1

by Hirukuma,

  When noon came around, the party of hunters began to break for lunch, getting out the food they’d brought or using some of the many ingredients stored in our cargo. But after a word from Lammis, I suddenly had a lot more customers.

  “This pasta dish is heavenly!”

  That’s right. Out of consideration for the long trip we’d be taking, I used one thousand points to add on a new function. Mornings and evenings are starting to get chilly, so I picked a hot-water-dispensing function, and I added four types of cup ramen as well. Kitsune-style udon, soy sauce ramen, pork bone ramen, and salt ramen—a lineup that lets people choose whatever they like.

  Of course, I was dealing with ignorant people from a different world, so I chose simple items that only needed hot water added to them. These had instructions in both words and pictures on the sides of the containers, so Lammis and Munami had figured it out right away.

  After changing to cup ramen mode, the water-dispensing function takes up half the vending machine, so one downside might be that there’s less room for beverages. However, I can switch freely in and out of cup ramen mode, so I can go back to normal right away.

  Today it’s cloudy, and with the chill making things difficult, seeing Lammis happily eating the noodles brought on a surge of customers.

  As a side note, I’ve set each cup ramen to two silver coins. Taking all the necessary measures, I’ve provided the optional fork with the cup ramen as well.

  “Whew! This warms me right to the core.”

  “I feel this big brown one’s taste in my heart. Delicious!”

  “Yours looks good. Let’s trade bites!”

  The hunters eat in a lively group, sharing their impressions. In a flash, they buy no fewer than forty cups of ramen and drinks. Considering they are in a physically active profession, it’s not strange that a lot of them eat two cups or more by themselves.

  Given that they planned to travel two days out from the settlement on foot, they had plenty of extra food stored, but it seems like a basic rule that hunters eat simple, basic lunches; this combined with their curiosity over the cup ramen is what’s netting me sales.

  Of course, it goes without saying how wonderful the flavors are—the makers created them after much trial and error. Tasting the fullness of something so high quality makes me truly glad to have been a Japanese person.

  At this rate, I’m going to make a huge haul during this trip. I could set the prices to three silver coins each, but wiping out the frog fiends takes priority, so I keep the markup low in order to support the hunters.

  We’re at the back end of the hunting team, and thus removed from the actual fighting. Not that there’s much—we’ve heard shouts and weapons clashing from the front line only a few times so far. Other than that, it’s been supremely peaceful.

  Nobody will be buying anything while we’re physically on the move, so I use that time to check back over all my abilities and consider how to proceed from here.

  My full status display looks something like this:

  [Vending Machine: Boxxo]

  DUR 100/100

  TGH 10

  STR 0

  SPD 0

  DEX 0

  MAG 0

  PT 3,600

  (C) Mineral Water

  ¥1,000 1SC (x130)

  (C)(W) Milk Tea

  ¥1,000 1SC (x124)

  (C)(W) Lemon Tea

  ¥1,000 1SC (x65)

  (C) Sports Drink

  ¥1,000 1SC (x78)

  (C) Orange Juice

  ¥1,000 1SC (x65)

  (W) Corn Soup

  ¥1,000 1SC (x119)

  (W) Canned Oden

  ¥3,000 3SC (x56)

  (N) Pressed Potato Chips

  ¥1,000 1SC (x136)

  (N) Cup Udon Kitsune-Style

  ¥2,000 2SC (x85)

  (N) Cup Ramen Pork Bone Flavor

  ¥2,000 2SC (x92)

  (N) Cup Ramen Soy Sauce Flavor

  ¥2,000 2SC (x88)

  (N) Cup Ramen Salt Flavor

  ¥2,000 2SC (x89)

  {Features} Cold Retention, Heat Retention,

  Hot-Water Dispenser (Cup Ramen Mode)

  {Blessings} Force Field

  There are too many things to fit on the display at once. I should probably check each item individually.

  I’ll keep myself in cup ramen mode for as long as I’m accompanying this hunter team and have one of each beverage in the lineup.

  Adding that function makes my appearance change instantly, like magic. That might mean I can find design-changing and form-changing functions in the upgrade list, too… Found it.

  Oh, wow. Freely changing my color? I can add patterns, button designs, and even an electronic sign? That’s a lot of customization.

  Changing colors doesn’t seem to cost that many points, but the ones that change my form and add the sign are fairly pricey. I’ll get them once I have more to spare.

  Time passes quickly as I look at all the different add-ons I can get. The next thing I know, it’s gotten dark out.

  “We’re spending the night here. Get to setting up camp, everyone.”

  Is that austere voice the Hunters Association director’s? Right, he’s part of the hunting team, too, isn’t he? He used to be an extremely good hunter, I hear, and a cut above all the rest of the members present, in terms of ability.

  Some groups are setting up tents, but many hunters are simply sitting in front of a fire. Are they going to make do with just sleeping rolls or blankets? I wonder what Lammis is going to do…? When I look over, she’s just sitting next to me with a smile on her face…

  …It may look like she’s spacing out, but she technically used to be a hunter, so that can’t be true. Then again, I don’t think she brought along any luggage at all, besides lugging me on her back. Is she going to be all right?

  Completely unaware of my worries, she’s racking her brain over what to buy. The others will be engaging in a decisive battle tomorrow, and the dinner they made tonight is rather lavish.

  Most of them buy only a drink; the oden and cup ramen aren’t selling much. They must want to use up their food so that they have less to carry.

  “I really like the skewer one. They should make one that only has the little eggs on it.”

  So Lammis is an egg person? Quail eggs are expensive, so if I offer an item with only eggs, it’ll probably cost more to stock. Personally, I think stuffed tofu and daikon are irreplaceable in oden.

  For dinner, she has oden, milk tea, and kitsune-style udon. Not sure whether that’s a balanced diet or not.

  “Do you have a moment?”

  All of a sudden, like a towering giant, the director is standing behind Lammis.

  I didn’t notice him getting this close at all. Those rumors about him having been a skilled hunter must not be all talk.

  “Do you want to buy something, Director?”

  “Perhaps I’ll have the yellow soup later. More importantly, about tomorrow… We should arrive at their settlement in three hours from here. We’re in a clearing surrounded by trees right now—ideal for setting up camp without letting any light leak out. The enemy will likely not find us here.”

  So that’s why they made a fire. I was concerned, since we’re close to the enemy base and the fire is really visible—but now I get it.

  “Which brings me to my question. I’d like you two to choose whether to wait here or to head to the battlefield with us. If you stay here, you could be set upon by frog fiend stragglers or other monsters. We’ll leave your escort with you, but I can’t say for sure you’ll be safe.”

  Going with them to the frog fiends’ home would definitely involve us in the battle, but having thirty hunters with us is arguably more of a relief. The group consisted of many veterans, too, and I have advance information that even if things go really wrong, they’ll still win.

  To be honest, I don’t know how strong other monsters are, so I can’t decide which is the right choice.

  “Hmm,
well…I am still a hunter, so I could head to the battlefield. But I’m sure Boxxo doesn’t want to be wrapped up in the fighting.”

  That’s troubling. How do I answer? I can’t feel pain, and I know from experience that I can shrug off a few hits. Even if I get hurt, I can restore myself with points.

  I don’t particularly mind, but it depends on what Lammis wants to do. From the looks of her, she’s not scared—in fact, she looks like she’s raring to go. That makes my answer easy.

  “Too bad.”

  “Wait, you want to be in the battle?”

  “Welcome.”

  “Okay, got it. Director, we’ll be taking part, too!”

  I’ll protect her for sure. I don’t have arms or legs, but I have my Force Field, so I should be able to defend her. She was my first customer when I came to this world, and my first friend. I’ll use as many points as I need if it means I can help her. I’ll have to do my best to sell as much as I can.

  Come, ye hunters, and become thralls to my products!

  As the sun begins to rise, the hunters stir as well. Lammis ended up sleeping against me. My Heat-Retention function seems to affect my surroundings, and surprisingly, she slept soundly with nary a shiver all through the night.

  It’s cooled down quite a bit since yesterday, and now the oden and the warm beverages are selling like hotcakes. Making one thousand points in a single day is stunning in a good way.

  This morning, once again, there’s a line in front of me for the warm items. I should probably increase the number of cup ramen and corn soup I have on hand.

  As for slaying the frog fiends, I feel as though we could wait a bit, until they go into hibernation. Even after taking the notable differences into consideration, as long as they share that key property with the frogs from my world, waiting would make the raid a lot easier. Well, even if my guess is correct, I have no way of communicating that.

  “Listen up, everyone. Now that we’ve finished breakfast, we’re going to attack the enemy’s headquarters. Do everything as we planned. In terms of combat power, we should achieve total victory. But do not let your guards down. That is all.”

  I feel an odd persuasiveness and sense of relief from the director’s words. They seem to assure that everything will be all right.

  It looks like the tents and cooking utensils are all cleaned up. Lammis hoists me onto her back as always, and we set off.

  Traveling with allies to fight monsters. Thinking of it this way makes it sound like a commonplace otherworld fantasy story, but I’m a vending machine, so…I can’t move by myself… It can’t be helped.

  Acquiring another Blessing aside from Force Field to gain abilities seems like the fastest route to actually doing something on my own, but even the least expensive of those Blessing abilities I can get cost one million points!

  Ah, the skies are clear and blue. Existing only as something that gets carried around by a cute girl makes me, as a man, start to wonder about things, but I’ll get depressed if I think about that, so I won’t.

  Raid

  We’ve apparently gotten fairly close to where the frog people live, and I can feel the air around us shifting. Even though I’m a machine!

  Water droplets are sticking to my body. It seems terribly humid. I wonder if I’ll start rusting…

  The ground under us seems to be dirt and mud, making it hard to walk. Lammis is buried up to her knees because I’m too heavy. I wonder if she’s all right.

  “Gugegugagwegwe!”

  “Get theeeeem!”

  Valiant shouts and the frog people’s cries are going up all over. The leading hunters must have gone into battle. I would think they’d be at a disadvantage because of the bad footing, but I’m sure they’re already aware of the situation.

  They foresaw victory despite that, so it’s presumptuous for an amateur like me to worry. I can only pray for my customers’ safety.

  I think I hear the sounds of feet splashing through mud getting closer. The faces of the escorts taking up positions surrounding the boar cart have become serious.

  “Boxxo, I think the enemy’s here. Let’s do our best.”

  Lammis knows I’m no use to her in battle, but she said our best. As a man, I have to rise to that kind of expectation. Though I don’t think vending machines have genders.

  She seems to want to fight without putting me down first. Since carrying all this weight doesn’t bother her in the slightest, she should be fine in theory, but if she’s made the decision already, then I have only one answer to give her.

  “Welcome,” I reply, keeping the volume as low as possible. You focus on what’s in front of you, and I’ll watch your back. I can stop any attack they throw at me.

  Oh, and there’s the enemy. A decent number of frog people are running at us, I think—I’m on Lammis’s back, so I’m facing the other way, and I can only judge by sound. Wait, one just appeared from the side that I can actually see. Its webbed feet must allow it to skim across the mud without sinking into it.

  Lammis turns and readies herself for the enemy approaching from the side, so now I can see the ones standing in our way in my peripheral vision.

  “We get a bonus depending on how many we kill, so put your backs into it! Attack!”

  “Let’s do this!”

  Following the leader Kerioyl’s command, arrows, throwing knives, and hand axes begin flying at the frog people approaching from ahead.

  Wow, these folks seem fairly skilled. Almost all of them land their shots, nailing the frog people. Half of their targets are already down; the enemy can’t even get close.

  “Water, form vortex and pierce!”

  That must be the lady in magicians’ clothes who called Kerioyl “Captain.” She thrusts her staff out, and as if thrown forward from the momentum, water blasts straight out like a hose.

  The stream, ignoring gravity, flies parallel to the ground. On closer examination, the leading tip is sharpened like a drill. Despite being made of water, the stream shoots straight through a frog person’s head and skewers a second one behind it.

  That must be magic, huh? I wonder if I could use it like that if I’d gotten it as my Blessing. That would make me a fighting vending machine… Not a terrible future. But wait, my magic stat is zero. Yeah, don’t think that’ll work.

  My carefree train of thought underlines how easily we’re winning. My vision is shaking hard, probably because Lammis was fighting, but it’s really inconvenient not to be able to see behind me. She might as well have carried me facing the same direction.

  She was always grumbling about not being able to land her attacks much, likely due to her low dexterity. Is she doing better now?

  I’m worried, but I’m not hearing anything bad, and none of the escorts looking our way are panicked or running to our aid, so Lammis must not be in a bad position.

  Hmm, I just realized this. She didn’t bring a weapon with her. She has rather large gloves on her hands, but could they be for…?

  “All right! I managed to get him. Boxxo, I was trying to move as little as possible so I wouldn’t shake you, and my attacks are hitting more. It’s a cinch!”

  I hear Lammis’s gleeful voice behind me. She turns around halfway and sets herself up to take on a new enemy. Since my field of vision has moved, I get my wish—I can now see the enemy she was fighting before.

  Oh, wow. Never seen a dent that big in a face before. The frog person’s corpse is lying atop the mud. Its face is so misshapen you’d think it was bashed in by a giant hammer. That must be what happens when you get punched by her Might. I…I see. If you really think about it, it’s not that surprising.

  She carries me around easily, and she has the endurance and leg strength to keep at it without so much as a grimace. It makes perfect sense that she could deliver blows with that much force.

  As mentioned earlier, I’m currently on her back. That’s forcing her to act with subtlety and refrain from making any unnecessary movements, which is doing wonders for her
efficiency. Combining her raw strength with calculated movements and precise strikes makes her a force to be reckoned with.

  I’m pleased beyond words that I’m indirectly helping Lammis like this.

  It looked like we’d be able to finish off the frog people in a bit, but ten more have shown up as reinforcements. They said we wouldn’t see much fighting, since we’re at the rear. Isn’t this strange?

  “It’s not natural for so many of them to be here. If the front lines are seeing even more of them, then… This is getting suspicious.”

  I hear Captain Kerioyl muttering, his voice uneasy. The situation really is abnormal.

  “Everyone, form up. Get too far out and they’ll cut your legs out from under you!”

  “Yes, Captain!”

  The hunters in our escort make a circle formation around the boar cart. It’s the right choice, since even more frog people pop out of the mud to surround us.

  By just a quick estimate, I see thirty of them. Will each of us have to take on five? Isn’t that pretty bad?

  “Captain, I think this is a little much!”

  “Save your whining. We’ll abandon the buar cart if we need to. That’s our motto—life comes first!”

  “I’ve never heard that before.”

  Kerioyl and the blue-haired Filmina are making small talk, but their faces are entirely deadpan. Does that go to show how tense the situation is?

  If Lammis is really in danger, I’d want her to run away. And to leave me behind if she needs to.

  But she goes up and stands next to a hunter wielding a bow. Does she plan on full-out close-quarters combat?

  “I’ll do something about the ones that get through.”