Dreaming of You

by Jennifer McNare

  Chapter 25

  He’d been staring at it for nearly an hour, the door that led into the small dressing room that separated his bedchamber from hers. Sprawled within the depths of an upholstered wingback chair, he took another drink from the tumbler of whiskey he held in his hand as he continued to fight the urge to walk across the room and open that damnable door. All through dinner he’d barely been able to keep his eyes off of her, and then, after she’d retired for the night, he’d been able to think of nothing but her. It was maddening. He hated that he wanted her, but he did damn it. He wanted her with an overwhelming intensity that he couldn’t deny, as much as he tried. She’d plagued his dreams for years, and now she was here, and she was his. Despite the circumstances, he wanted to feel her in his arms once again, to see if it was as good as he remembered. Or had that been a pretense as well, asked the niggling voice that lurked at the back of his thoughts. He knew there was only one way to find out.

  Not more than ten minutes later, he finally lost the internal battle. Rising from the chair, he set the now-empty glass onto a nearby table and then made his way across the room. Grasping the doorknob, he pulled the door open, quietly crossed the small space and then hesitated in front of the final barrier that separated him from her. Then silently, almost cautiously, Gavin opened the door and stepped into her bedchamber.

  The room was dark, lit only by the faint glow of the moon as it shown through the sheer drapery panels that had been pulled across the windows. He quickly swept the shadowed room with his gaze, noting that the bed was empty. He saw her then, standing at one of the tall windows that overlooked the rear of the estate, one of the gossamer panels pushed to the side as she gazed out into the darkness. He stood there for a time, watching her as she stood at the window, unaware of his presence. Her long blonde hair was hanging loose and fell about her back and shoulders in a heavy mass of gentle waves, its golden hue catching and reflecting the light of the moon. How many times in the darkness of the cottage had he wondered as to its color, he mused? Too many to count, he realized with a touch of melancholy. Forcing the memory aside, he took another step into the room, pushing the door closed behind him, allowing it to shut with a soft thud.

  Hearing the sound, Melody turned from the window, her gaze falling upon where Gavin stood just inside the door. Relief coursed throughout her body, for as the hour had grown later and later she’d begun to fear that he wouldn’t come. For a moment neither of them moved as they silently regarded one another from across the room. From where she stood it was impossible to make out Gavin’s expression within the shadowy darkness. Perhaps it was for the best. She wasn’t foolish enough to believe that he would willingly reveal his desire to share her bed, but at least he was here. However, if there was any hope of restoring what they once had, she knew that she could leave nothing to chance. She knew what she had to do. Much like she had that first afternoon at the cottage, Melody forced her limbs to move, and with quiet determination she made her way across the floor.

  Gavin remained rooted in place as he watched Melody move away from the window and walk purposefully toward the bed.

  Stopping at the side of the mattress, Melody turned to once again face Gavin. He stared at her, tense and unmoving, and she could almost see the battle raging within him. With her eyes locked on his, she raised her hands to the belt of her silk dressing gown and slowly slipped the knotted loop free. Then, with trembling hands, she grasped the sides of the gown and pulled it apart, allowing it to fall from her shoulders and pool around her feet. Despite the countless hours they’d spent in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms, it was the first time he’d seen her naked. She tried to appear confident, but inside she was woefully insecure, wondering what he would think seeing her body for the first time with his eyes, rather than his hands.

  Gavin’s breath caught in his chest. She stood before him for a moment, in all her naked glory, beckoning him with her eyes, and then, her gaze still locked on his, she sat down upon the bed, pushing the sheets aside as she moved to the center of the bed and then laid back against the pillows. Though the room was shrouded in darkness, it wasn’t absolute, and for the very first time he was able to look upon the splendor of her body. His gaze eagerly swept her lush curves as his eyes took in every last inch of her from head to toe. She was even more beautiful than he’d ever imagined. Unable to help himself, he moved toward the bed, toward her, almost as if he were tethered to an invisible string that pulled him to her, tugging him forward.

  Parting his velvet robe, he shrugged it from his shoulders, letting it drop to his feet as he reached the side of the bed. Placing his knee upon the mattress, he looked down upon Melody’s face and met her unwavering gaze. For better or worse, there was no turning back now. Lowering himself onto the bed, he finally gave in to the overpowering desire that defied all reason. Pulling her into his arms, he inhaled the delicious fragrance that clung to her like a second skin. Incredibly, it was the same intoxicating scent that had haunted him for the past five years.

  Melody felt his warm breath blow softly against her cheek and it caused a shiver of desire to race along her spine. It had been so long, so very long. Arching her back, she crushed her breasts against his chest as she raised her hands, tangling her fingers in the soft curls at the base of his neck, drawing him to her. She didn’t speak, afraid to do or say anything that might cause him to pull away. Instead, she spoke with her hands, pulling him closer, showing him what she wanted.

  If he’d thought for even a moment that he could remain cool and detached, to hold a part of himself back, he was instantly proven wrong. But nonetheless, he resisted the urge to kiss the softness of her lips. It was too soon. It seemed too intimate somehow. Instead, pressing his mouth to the slender column of her neck, he trailed his lips along the petal-soft skin until he reached the hollow at the base of her throat.

  Gasping softly in pleasure and anticipation, Melody’s fingers slid from his hair, her hands moving to the tops of his naked shoulders, her fingertips pressing into his warm, muscled flesh. It had been so long since she’d been able to touch him, to feel the heat of his bare skin against hers. It was heaven, and so much better than her fantasies. She felt his hand move downward then, his fingers trailing lightly along her ribcage and then changing direction a moment later, moving upward until his palm cupped the underside of her breast, his thumb gently stroking her sensitive skin, as his lips continued their own sensual exploration. When they reached her breast, his lips closing around the taut bud and then drawing it slowly into his mouth, she had to bite her lip to keep from moaning aloud at the intoxicating sensation.

  For Gavin, it was all he could do to keep from nudging her legs apart and driving into her with the haste of an impetuous youth. She would be ready for him, of that he had no doubt. But regardless, he fought for control. He didn’t want to rush. It had been so long since he’d held her like this, touched her like this. He wanted to savor every last moment, so he forced himself to go slow and to tamp down the part of him that wanted to take her right then and there without preliminaries. They had all night he reminded himself, as his tongue swirled around her peaked nipple.

  When Melody felt Gavin’s hand begin its downward journey along the smooth skin of her inner thigh she quivered in response, and then, when his fingers brushed lightly against her soft curls she felt an ache in the pit of her stomach that was both pleasurable and painful at the same time. She wanted him so desperately it hurt. Her thighs parting in invitation, she inhaled deeply, her hips arching slightly off the bed when his finger slid back and forth along her delicate folds and then pressed gently inside her welcoming sheath.

  For several long minutes Gavin stroked and caressed her, until she lay writhing beneath his touch, her body begging for release. When he sensed that she was nearing her peak, he finally pulled his fingers from her damp cleft and then gently splayed her thighs as he positioned himself above her. When he slid his rigid length into her, pressing forward inch by inch, he felt her
nails press into the skin of his back as she raised her hips, urging him even deeper into her moist heat. Lifting his head, he looked down upon her upturned face. Her eyes were open and their gazes locked. Buried deep inside of her, the woman he’d dreamt of for the past five years, he lost another battle, for he could no longer fight the overwhelming need to once again taste the sweetness of her lips. Lowering his head, he finally pressed his mouth to hers. The kiss seemed to shatter the last remaining barrier between them. Their hunger for one another exploded in a firestorm as their passion for one another engulfed them like white-hot flames. There was no pretense in this, and undoubtedly there never had been, he silently acknowledged.

  When Melody awoke the following morning she found herself lying naked amidst a profusion of tangled sheets. She was also alone; though she had no idea at what time Gavin had left her bed. It couldn’t have been too long ago however, for much to her delight they had made love twice during the night, and then once again when he’d roused her by placing a long trail of tingling kisses along the curve of her spine just before dawn. All in all, it had been a glorious wedding night, even better than she had ever dreamed it could be.

  However, if there was one thing that troubled her about the past hours, it was Gavin’s relative silence. Aside from the occasional impassioned murmurs when they were in the throes of passion, he had barely spoken more than a few words during the long night. Although he had allowed for their physical connection, she feared that he was still trying to hold a part of himself back, to keep an emotional distance between them. It was disappointing, but she wasn’t stupid, she’d known that it wasn’t going to be easy to regain his trust, for him to believe that she would never again do anything to hurt him. She could only hope that given time, Gavin would come to see how very much she loved him, and in turn, that he would open his heart to her as well.

  Realizing that she had slept long past the breakfast hour, Melody allowed herself one long and leisurely stretch before rising from the bed, relishing as she did in the slight, yet blissfully wonderful ache that radiated throughout the muscles of her body. Slipping into her dressing gown, she could scarcely keep the contented smile from her face as she moved to the bell pull and summoned one of the maids.

  Within minutes there was a soft knock upon her bedchamber door, and when Melody opened it she saw that it was Holly, one of the young upstairs maids, who had responded to her call, for Elizabeth had remained at their London home whilst she and Gavin honeymooned at Rutherford Park.

  “Good morning, Your Grace,” the slender brunette greeted cheerfully, as she dipped into a polite curtsey. “How may I assist you?”

  “Good morning, Holly,” Melody said pleasantly as she motioned her into the room. Stepping to the side, she noted a sudden blush color Holly’s freckled cheeks, and that her wide-eyed gaze was directed at the bed and the mess of rumpled sheets that lay twisted and entangled upon it.

  Despite the sudden flush that colored her own cheeks, Melody’s voice was surprisingly steady as she made her request. She was too gloriously happy to let anything trouble her overmuch at that moment. “Could you please ask the kitchen staff to heat some water for my bath?”

  Holly’s eyes snapped back to Melody’s face in an instant. “Oh, yes of course, Your Grace,” she said quickly.

  “A pot of tea and some biscuits would be lovely as well, if it isn’t too much trouble,” Melody added with a smile.

  “I’ll see to it at once.”

  “Thank you, Holly,” Melody said, as the young woman made a hasty retreat.

  Goodness she thought, turning back toward the bed in mild chagrin, she’d have to remember to straighten the sheets next time. But as she gazed at the mussed bed linens, her momentary chagrin was swiftly overshadowed by the anticipation of messing them up again later that night. Then, with an impish grin curving her lips, she made her way to the dressing room.

  Once she was bathed, dressed and satisfactorily coiffed, Melody finally made her way downstairs. Good gracious, she was the lady of the house now she realized as she reached the landing. She was the Duchess of Rutherford, and Rutherford Park, in all of its splendor, was now her home as well as her responsibility. It was a rather imposing notion. When they’d arrived late yesterday afternoon, she’d been so preoccupied with her upcoming wedding night, that she’d hardly given it a thought. Fortunately, her years as mistress of Edgington Hall had provided her with the necessary skills required to manage a large household, and as she made her way into the foyer, she mentally reassured herself that she was up to the task.

  “Good morning, Hawkins,” she greeted the ever-present butler.

  “Good morning, Your Grace,” he replied with a polite nod.

  “Would you happen to know His Grace’s whereabouts?” she asked, eager to see Gavin after the incredible night they’d shared.

  “His Grace is working in his study at present,” he stated matter of factly.

  “Oh.” He was probably busy with estate matters Melody realized with a touch of regret. He was a duke after all, and as such, he was sure to have tremendous responsibilities to attend to, honeymoon or not. “Well, I shan’t disturb him then.”

  Hawkins nodded, seeming to indicate that he agreed with her decision.

  Hiding her disappointment behind a pleasant smile, she decided that if Gavin was occupied, it might be a good idea for her to see to her own tasks as well. “Could you please inform Mrs. Dashwood that I would like to speak with her at her earliest convenience,” she said. If she was to begin familiarizing herself with the management of the household, a meeting with the Montrose family’s longtime housekeeper seemed the most logical place to start. “I shall await her in the drawing room.” After meeting with Mrs. Dashwood, she would then pay a visit to the kitchens, she thought as she made her way to the nearby drawing room, to consult with Mrs. Potter regarding the weekly menu.

  As the dinner hour approached, Melody was quite pleased in respect to the progress she had made in acquainting herself with her new responsibilities. However, as the morning had turned to afternoon, and afternoon had now turned to evening, she was beginning to feel a bit frustrated in a completely different regard, for she hadn’t set eyes upon Gavin even once throughout the day, not even during the midday meal, for much to her dismay, he’d had his luncheon delivered to the study.

  Then, almost as if she’d summoned him with her thoughts, a soft knock sounded upon her bedchamber door. Quickly patting one last wayward curl into place, Melody rose from her seat at the vanity table and made her way to the door. When she opened it, the sight of Gavin, dressed in an elegant black dinner jacket and snowy white shirt and matching cravat, nearly took her breath away. Good gracious, it should be a sin for a man to be so devastatingly handsome, she thought to herself.

  “Good evening. Are you ready to go down to dinner?” Gavin asked courteously, as his gaze took in Melody’s stylish and sophisticated off the shoulder gown of apricot-colored silk taffeta. She looked stunningly beautiful as always, but even so, he couldn’t keep his eyes from dropping to the tops of her lush, full breasts as they swelled enticingly from the bodice of her gown. Instantly reminded of how he’d caressed and fondled those magnificent globes that very morning, he felt an immediate tightening in his groin. Would she resist he wondered, if he said to hell with dinner and urged her back into the bedroom, scooped her up into his arms and tossed her upon the bed?

  “Gavin?”

  He looked up, startled from his decadent musings.

  “I said yes, I am ready,” Melody repeated, eyeing Gavin curiously. Did she detect a look of desire in his lingering gaze, or was it simply her imagination? Feeling her own desire suddenly flare to life, she secretly hoped that it was the former rather than the latter.

  “Hmm? Oh, yes of course,” he said, promptly extending his elbow. Good God he thought, if he wasn’t careful he’d soon be forgetting the promises he’d made to himself. It was one thing to share Melody’s bed, but to be forever lusting after
her like an ardent swain was quite another. He’d be a damn fool if he allowed her to hold that kind of power over him. He needed to keep their relationship in perspective. He’d already paid the price for trusting her once before, and despite the gradual lessening of his feelings of bitterness and resentment; he wasn’t ready to cast caution to the wind just yet.

  Placing her hand within the curve of his arm, Melody allowed Gavin to lead her into the hall and then down the stairs and into the dining room, hoping all the while that her lascivious inner thoughts weren’t reflected upon her face for all to see.

  Although Gavin was perfectly cordial and solicitous during dinner, Melody detected a subtle reserve in his overall manner throughout the evening. Considering the intimacies they had shared during the course of their passion-filled wedding night, she’d secretly hoped that he might have let down his guard just a bit. But as the evening progressed, it became increasingly clear that while Gavin might be willing to share her bed, he wasn’t yet ready to lower the emotional barriers that still separated them.

  “I thought I might go riding tomorrow,” Melody said, looking to Gavin as their dessert plates were set before them.

  Gavin nodded as he stuck his spoon into his serving of strawberry iced cream. “Well, if you do, there are certainly a number of fine horses to choose from in the stables, but if you advise Mr. Sullivan, the stablemaster, as to your skill level, I’m certain he can select the most fitting mount for you.”

  “Yes, I shall definitely seek his recommendation,” she agreed. Scooping a bit of iced cream onto her own spoon, Melody took a bite as she summoned her courage. “You could join me if you like,” she said a touch hesitantly, once she’d swallowed the scrumptious tidbit. She’d learned from Mrs. Potter that the dessert was a favorite of Gavin’s, and she could well-understand why.