At Your Service: Tammer

by Lila Munro

  “You’re not just wearing yourself out for your physical well-being, are you?” Tammer asked, reaching out and brushing back a sweaty tendril that had fallen across her eye. “You running from me? Joel? Yourself?”

  “Does it matter?” Nina snapped, grabbing her water bottled, tilting her head back with her mouth open and streaming what appeared to be a sports drink of some sort in.

  “As a matter of fact, it does,” he insisted, grabbing her chin when she looked away from him and drawing her gaze back to his. “If you’re running from Joel, he’ll be home eventually. If you’re running from yourself, that might work until you go upstairs and look in the mirror. If you’re running from me, I’ve got news for you. I’ll be back. Make no mistake, yeah, things are getting plenty complicated. Do I fully get what’s going on? By all means, no. But I’m not going out that door and not look back because whatever’s going on is too scary.” Tammer threw an arm out and pointed toward the front of the house, anger rushing over him. “I have to go right now, otherwise we’d spend the morning talking about all this and figuring out what we do about it, but know this. I’ll be back later and you better not be back on this damn thing running from anything,” he nearly shouted before spinning on his heel and stalking off.

  Forty-five minutes later, still dripping from his shower, Tammer sat at his desk staring at a blank email box, still trying to figure out what to tell Joel. What was it they said? Less was more?

  Hey man, when can you live chat? I’m going back to your house around dinner time. If you have a chance, hit me up before six local. We need to talk.

  Without further hesitation, he hit send.

  When he walked back through his door a little after four, his first stop was his laptop where he found an answer.

  What the fuck? Will be on at five your time. Don’t. Be. Late!

  Shit. Tammer knew he couldn’t be nailed to the wall for screwing his friend’s wife because Joel knew about that. He couldn’t be in trouble for staying over. Joel knew about that. Just what the hell had happened in the six hours he was away?

  He didn’t even have time to take off his over shirt which was coated with a thick layer of dust from hours of being on his belly at the range behind a new operator his boss had hired helping him hone his aim. He turned on his heel headed toward the kitchen for a beer and was stopped three steps later by a droning beep coming from his laptop indicating Joel was thirty minutes early. Spinning back around, he slid into his chair and hit accept call.

  “What the hell is Nina so upset about?” Joel asked, his brow knitted and his eyes looking like he hadn’t slept in days.

  “You have to ask?” Tammer snapped back. “Are you fucking kidding me, man? Where do I begin?”

  It looked like Tammer wasn’t going to have to piss first. Joel had done a fine job of that by insinuating Tammer was the source of all Nina’s ills.

  “Try beginning with what happened between last night when she was a tad under the weather and this morning when I finally got her to answer me on here and she couldn’t look me in the eye and looked like she’d been crying,” Joel ground out. “What the fuck did you do to her? I thought I could trust you.”

  “Try what I didn’t do to her and neither have you in God knows how long,” Tammer shot, his fists curling on top of his thighs. “You can trust me. If you couldn’t, I’d have already done what I didn’t do.”

  Joel shook his head and blinked a few times. “What the hell does all that cryptic bullshit mean?”

  “It means your wife is emotionally starved, man. She needs a lot more than a damn fill in Dom in case you hadn’t noticed.” Tammer unfurled his hands and slammed both palms on the desk top. “She needs to be held and kissed and made love to. Not just tied up, whipped, and fucked. She’s dying on the inside and so scared of betraying you she rarely leaves the fucking house.”

  “What happened last night?” Joel asked, much calmer than Tammer expected him to be once he spelled out his observations.

  “We had sex, we didn’t cross any of your lines, and when it was over, she hid in the bathroom for a while.” Tammer sighed and dropped his head. “I think she felt as empty as I did. Then you messaged me, I spent the night, still didn’t cross the lines, and this morning I woke up to find her on the treadmill running like her ass was on fire.” Swallowing the voice screaming at him to just stay quiet and gut it out for Nina, Tammer lost all the steam he’d built throughout the day, steam he planned on using to present his cause, and looked back up. “I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t hurt her like that anymore. If all you want is a sitter for her, someone who can just come in and do what you ask without feeling anything, I’ll help you find that person. But I’m not him.”

  “Thank God I pegged you right,” Joel said, a bit of relief flooding his shadowy features which skipped and rolled a bit from the sketchy connection. Then he smiled. “Now I don’t have to go through this twice. I don’t want anyone else for her. I want you.”

  “Did you hear what I just said?” Tammer demanded, wondering if perhaps Joel had been out in the field for far too long. “I can’t do this. I won’t hurt Nina anymore. It hurts her when I can’t give her everything she needs. I won’t do it.”

  “Do you love her?”

  Well, fuck. Scrubbing his hands down his face, he blew out a breath. “Look, man. I’m not looking to steal your wife.”

  “I’m not accusing you of that. I asked if you love her.”

  “Well, I’ve damn sure never felt like whatever this is for anyone before. Is it love? I have no fucking clue, but I know hurting her hurts me and there have been times in the last few days I’d like to have wrapped her up and shielded her from anything else that might hurt her, including you.” Tammer hesitated and figured he might as well hop up and down on the crazy branch and see if it broke off under him since he was already tottering on it. “If I can’t have more with her than this little arrangement we agreed to, I don’t want anything at all. Fine. There. It’s not all about her and what she wants and needs. I can’t do this anymore because of what I want and need. I want her. I’ve said it. I want your wife and unless there’s room for three, I have to walk away now or I might just be tempted to steal her after all.”

  “Good.”

  Silence fell between them as Joel stared at Tammer and he in turn tried to absorb the man’s simple, one word answer. A spark of hope took in his heart that Joel was hinting at the exact thing Tammer had been contemplating. Maybe they could work something out which involved them sharing Nina.

  “I think she loves you, too,” Joel said. “When I asked her how she felt about you this morning, she had a complete meltdown, she hung up on me, and she wouldn’t answer after that. When you get over the shock of what it is I’m really asking of you, would you please go check on our sub?”

  “So what you’re really asking is for us to work out a more permanent relationship between the three of us?”

  “Would I be wrong in assuming that’s what you really want, too? I know you better than you think I do. You’d never put yourself or what you wanted or needed above anyone else. Nina needs us both. You know it and so do I. It’s what I wanted when I first asked you to do this for me, but I had to know you were the one and Nina would accept you before I told you everything.” Joel leaned back and ran his hands over his head. “Feel free to beat the shit out of me when I get home, but there it is.”

  “Do you know how fucking twisted you are?” Tammer said, not really knowing whether to hate the man or love him. Hell, if he didn’t know, how the fuck would Nina react when she found out? Not only was Joel not paying him, but he’d actually been hoping they’d feel something for each other. “She’s going to go ape fucking shit when she finds out you basically tormented her. She’s been afraid of what you’d do if you thought she was betraying you.”

  “We’ll worry about the fall-out tomorrow. It might take us both to contain her once we tell her,” Joel said over a yawn. “For now, forget th
e damn rules and go see about her. And if you find her on that damn treadmill again, bust her ass once for me. Later, man.”

  Before Tammer could answer, the screen went black.

  Chapter Eleven

  Nina stared at the Macy’s bags completely covering the kitchen table and the plethora of green, earth friendly grocery bags lining the counters and sighed. She actually felt sick and was beginning to hate herself for blowing well over a couple of thousand bucks on her little pity party shopping spree which included a new spring wardrobe, a desk lamp she’d had her eye on for a while, new towels and sheets, all the latest cosmetic shades from Clinique, two new purses that weren’t decades old, and a pint of every single flavor Cold Stone Creamery made. Okay, who she thought she was kidding was a mystery. She’d spent way more than a couple thousand.

  In a state of misery, she backed into the wall, let her bag fall to the floor as she slid down beside it, and laid her head on her knees. She recalled her chat with Joel that morning which had been a complete disaster. It was the worst talk they’d had in years. After Tammer stormed off in a tizzy, she’d questioned everything she thought to be true about her life. By the time Joel called, she couldn’t even look him in the eye for the guilt hanging like a rock around her neck.

  Nina was still in love with her husband, whom she actually thought it was possible no longer loved her, and she’d managed to let herself fall in love with her sub-sitter, whom she thought might be feeling the same way.

  How the fuck did a woman love two men? And what was she supposed to do about it? Nina didn’t know if she could salvage what was and she didn’t think she could move forward to try what might be.

  Pushing up from the floor, she left everything sitting where it was, went upstairs, and changed into a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra. As she came back downstairs, she tugged her hair back into a ponytail and walked into the mini-gym, grabbing her iPod and clipping it to her waist. With the treadmill set for a ten minute mile pace to start with, she pushed her ear buds in and let Evanescence wash over her.

  Fuck what either of them thought. She felt like a pawn in this dangerous game they were playing and right now the pawn needed to clear her head so she could figure out what to do.

  It was somewhere in the middle of mile five with her head no clearer than it had been when she started that gooseflesh raced across her skin and Nina got the distinct feeling she was being watched. As her eyes flew open, she missed a step and grabbed the hand rail with one hand while hitting emergency stop with the other, exasperated to find Tammer staring at her, his arms crossed over his dirt coated chest.

  “How the hell did you get in here?” Nina panted, coming to an abrupt stop and popping her ear pieces out, draping the cord around her neck.

  Without a single word, he held up her spare key and jingled it.

  “I never showed you where that was.”

  “Joel didn’t teach you better than to plant it under a flower pot? Seriously, Nina?” Tammer dropped the key in the cup holder on the machine’s console then proceeded to grab her by the arm and drag her off the conveyor. “What did I tell you this morning?”

  “You better not catch me on this damn thing again?” Nina stammered out, tripping over her own feet in an attempt to keep up with him as he moved into the kitchen.

  “That’s right. And how many times has Joel had to tell you the same thing?” he asked, looking around the counters before sweeping a line of bags to the floor. “This will do.” Grabbing a wooden spoon from the now visible utensil container, he led her to the kitchen table, turned her loose, and put one of her hands on the back of a chair. “Do a little shopping today?” With his free hand he shoved her packages to the side, half of which fell to the floor. Bras, panties, perfume, and socks flew everywhere. Tammer stooped and picked up a frilly, pink lace bra and twirled it around his forefinger with an evil wink. “Nice.” He then scowled and tossed it down, took her hand again, and placed it on the table’s edge followed by the other. “Bend over.”

  “Fuck off,” she clipped just as the wooden spoon met her left ass cheek with a crack sending splinters of pain across her flesh.

  “Wrong answer, defiance,” Tammer said, slapping his makeshift paddle against her other cheek before placing a palm between her shoulders and pushing her over at the waist. “Who’s in charge?”

  “You are,” Nina gasped when he struck her again.

  “You are what?” Twice more he made his mark before his hand skimmed her throbbing ass.

  “You are, Sir.”

  “That’s right,” he growled, swatting her without relent. “What I say goes. No more running. No more denying. No more worrying yourself crazy over what to do or feel or who to do what with or feel what for. Understand?”

  “No,” Nina sobbed as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I don’t understand any of it.”

  Tammer stopped paddling her and grabbed her ponytail in one of his fists, tugging her head up and forcing her to look at him. “You don’t have to understand any of it, just understand you’re not to worry on it anymore. Got it? Just go with it. And that’s not a suggestion.”

  With that he threw the spoon on top of the pile of items all over the floor and pulled Nina to standing before hoisting her over his shoulder and heading upstairs with her.

  “Put me down, Sir, please. I can’t do this with you again, please,” she wailed.

  “No. You can and you will,” Tammer assured her, setting her back on her feet next to her still unmade bed.

  “No, I can’t,” she whimpered as he tore his shirt over his head then rolled it around his hand and wiped her nose before throwing it to the side. “If you do this again…I can’t. I can’t stand to go through you stopping again.”

  “Me either.”

  Tammer grabbed her head and devoured her mouth, forcing her to open to him, taking and possessing every inch of her recesses before coming up for air and jerking her sports bra over her head. As if his very life depended on the next few minutes, he descended on her now bare breasts, squeezing while sucking her nipples, clipping the puckering tissue with his teeth.

  This was what she expected when the moment presented itself. Raw, impossible, tormented need in its purest form consuming everything in its path.

  “But Joel,” Nina breathed, helpless to stop him and not wanting him to even if he would.

  “Rescinded the rules,” Tammer murmured between swipes of his tongue as he ran his fingers around her waist band, shoving her pants down to her knees before backing her into the bed and pushing her onto her back. “Stop analyzing, Nina.”

  With one jerk, her pants were inside out and over his shoulder followed in seconds by her panties. Nina wasn’t sure how the man could do so many things at once, but somehow he managed to have his mouth all over her legs and one hand touching her some place all while stripping out of the rest of his clothes. And then he was between her legs and inside her. He looked hard at her one time before taking her lips again, lifting her legs around his waist, and driving into her so quickly and roughly, they slid to the other side of the bed and their heads dangled over the edge.

  “Please don’t stop,” Nina begged, hanging on to his shoulders when he broke contact with her lips and stopped thrusting long enough to secure them safely back to the middle of the mattress.

  “No,” he panted. “Not this time.”

  Tammer squeezed his eyes shut, clenched his jaw, and with a few more strokes and a primal groan, he sent them catapulting into a wave of spasms that left Nina breathless and drenched in sweat.

  They lay motionless for a few moments, grappling for air. When Tammer finally drew a deep breath, he rolled to his side taking her with him, tucking her into his frame and pulling the sheet over their middles. Cradling her, every few seconds he planted a kiss somewhere on her exposed, glistening skin.

  “Tammer?” Nina whispered, clinging to him.

  “Yeah, sweetheart?”

  “I love you,” she choked out over the emot
ion clogging her throat.

  “I know,” he soothed, planting his lips along her temple. “I know. It’s okay. I love you, too.”

  “It’s not okay. Joel…”

  “Knows,” he interrupted, pulling her head back and looking at her. “He knows. And it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “So if I’m understanding this correctly, My Liege,” Nina said, perched on Tammer’s knee at her desk the next morning. “You were playing match-maker?”

  “You could call it that,” Joel admitted. “Nina, baby, I’ve left you alone so much and that’s not likely to change anytime soon. I don’t want to lose you and if sharing you means I won’t, even if I only get half of you, half is better than none. You know as well as I do eventually we’d have fallen apart and I don’t want that. This seems like a viable compromise.”

  Nina crossed her legs, clasped her hands, and pouted her lips.

  “Oh, boy,” Tammer said, leaning back. “Here it comes.”

  “Here what comes?” Nina said over a broad, toothy smile, her words dripping with honey. “Why would I be upset about having the best position in all of this? Not only do I get two for one, I think you both owe me big time for making me worry, making me cry, and making me believe I was going crazy. I hardly think being in the position which now demands spoiling as restitution is a bad place to be. Don’t think I won’t milk this for all it’s worth.”

  “I’m sure you will,” Joel mumbled, running a hand over his forehead.

  “There’s something serious we need to talk about for a minute,” Tammer said, sitting up and pulling Nina a little closer. “I think it might be for the best if Nina stays at my place until you get back and we figure all this out. Not to mention whether we actually want to live together or not…”

  “Oh we do,” Nina insisted. “You two wanted this therefore I’m having some say in how it’s going to work. We’ll be living together. Period. I’ll find a realtor next week. And don’t think this dwelling will come without a price. I need a new office and a real gym and I think I should get my own room. That way if I don’t want to see or talk to either of you, I have somewhere I can go and…”