The Dark Lord Cecil

by Wade Adrian

  She ignored him entirely as he walked on by.

  Well, effort for nothing then. He placed his hand on the door, but stopped and looked over his shoulder.

  She looked downright downtrodden.

  “You okay, miss?”

  Her eyes turned to him. “I’m fine.” She almost bit the words off.

  She didn’t seem fine.

  Murray’s voice escaped the sack as a whisper. “Uh, boss, what are you doing?”

  Cecil ignored him. “Maybe I can help?”

  The young woman scoffed and drew her eyebrows down as she looked at him. “What are you doing here, anyway? Deliveries come in the morning. And in a wagon.”

  The sack wiggled. “Is there anything you are not terrible at? We were home free.”

  “It’s, uh… a special request by Lord Thorn.” Cecil held up the sack. “Sweet potatoes.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Typical. They don’t bother to tell us anything, just step all over everyone’s work.” Her shoulders slumped slightly. “I hate this job.”

  “Well, I mean, I, er, we kind of have an opening for a cook.”

  She raised an eyebrow at him. “Mr. Sweet potato delivery man needs a cook? Is that your clumsy way of saying you’re looking for a wife?”

  Cecil’s face lit up red. “Ah, no. No.” He shook his head. “I mean, the place I work at has a kitchen but no staff, and we’re looking for help. In that regard. So I figured you were unhappy here, and I just…”

  She was staring at him now. “Uh-huh. Is this a test? Did Mr. Stevens put you up to this?”

  “Who? I have no idea who that is. Anyway, never mind. Sorry I bothered you. Don’t want to be late.”

  “Wait…” She held up a hand. “If you’re serious, let me think it over.”

  He nodded. “Sure. I’ll be in here for a bit. Then I’ll uh, get you an address or something.”

  She nodded and held out her hand. “Bonnie.”

  He shook it. “Cecil.”

  “Nice to meet you, Cecil.”

  “Likewise, Bonnie.” He gave a little wave and turned for the door. He wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad development. She could be helpful, or she could rat him out and have guards chasing him in less than a minute.

  The kitchens were poorly lit and noisy, but that helped him sneaking through. The only people that noticed him at all weaved around him and cast annoyed glances.

  “That was painful, boss.”

  “Shut up.”

  “And for the record, when a woman says shes fine? She never is, but the point must still never be pressed.”

  “It seemed to work out okay.” He opened a door out of the kitchens. A dark hallway… and stairs.

  “The power of dumb luck is certainly with you.”

  “Well lets hope it holds out. Which floor?”

  “The highest one they’ve got that isn’t an attic. And the biggest room.”

  Cecil followed the stairs until they ran out. Third floor. The long hallway stretching out before him had light spots interspersed amongst the long dark hallway. Some of the lanterns had gone out, but no one had been up yet to relight them.

  “Can’t tell how big the rooms are from outside…” Cecil muttered as he walked along the hallway, rubbing at his chin.

  “Start with the last one. Usually the biggest. If not, see how far apart the doors are.”

  “Oh. Good idea.”

  “It’s like I’m working with a simpleton.”

  “Hey, I didn’t ask for any of this. This is the first inn I’ve ever set foot in.”

  “Please tell me this isn’t the furthest you’ve ever been from your house.”

  “Of course not.” Cecil huffed out. “Dire Hill is the farthest I’ve ever been from my house.”

  The potato sack groaned.

  Cecil followed the hallway as he turned a corner. It ended in a single door. Well, a set of double doors. “This might be it.”

  “Good. My forehead itches. Lets get this over with.”

  He glanced around for a moment, not sure if there was a bell or something… a second set of doors caught his eye, off to the side. They weren’t as large or prestigious. That might be what he was after…

  The handle turned. Surprising. Then again, was anyone expecting to wander in but the staff?

  He shut the door behind him. The tiny room had three doors leading away from it. Only one had light coming from under it.

  The knob turned slowly in his hand. It was open, too. The room inside had a bed with tall posts, trimmed in maroon, beside a chest of drawers with a large mirror on top. Tall windows lined the far wall, the dark of dusk giving way to night beyond. Opposite the bed was a writing desk with a lamp resting on it, throwing shadows across the room.

  And there Lady Aldora sat, scribbling away.

  9

  Cecil’s throat tightened as he watched.

  She was unaware, her eyes on the page in front of her. She dipped her pen, topped with a maroon feather, into the silver inkwell and continued her work.

  “Boss?”

  “Shh.” The sound barely left Cecil’s throat.

  Lady Aldora’s golden hair was tied back with a blue ribbon, her riding clothes had been replaced by a navy gown trimmed with golden details. Her attire seemed entirely at odds with the decorations, even as she sat on a maroon and silver chair. The only bit that seemed to support her was a blue umbrella in a stand beside the desk, but she’d probably brought that.

  “Boss, we can’t stay hidden forever. Is this the place or not?”

  Cecil smacked the potato sack.

  He couldn’t think of a thing to say to her. And he was still kind of surprised that he’d been right to check in the second set of rooms first. But, he had reasoned, as such a dutiful daughter she wouldn’t want to intrude upon her father and his business.

  Reginald had thought highly of her own business acumen, though. Cecil assumed it would be a lot easier to get her to help than her father, an established lord with reason to oppose Cecil’s skeletons on principle.

  “Umm…” He muttered. “Hi.”

  Her head barely shifted as her eyes turned to him. She must have been lost in thought, because she appeared quite annoyed at being interrupted. He was sorry he’d been a bother even as he stood there.

  “How did you get in here?”

  “Through the door.” He pointed behind him.

  Murray sighed.

  Lady Aldora set the pen back in the inkwell before picking up a little silver bell.

  “Hold on!” Cecil held out his hands. “I’m not here to hurt you. I need help.”

  Her left eyebrow lifted a fraction of an inch. “After you barge into a lady’s chambers and intrude upon her time, you would dare to demand her assistance?”

  “I don’t think I demanded…” He shrugged.

  She lifted the bell. It let out a single soft tone.

  “Please. Things have been happening so fast, I don’t know what to do. All of a sudden I’m in charge of land, and… people. And then there were soldiers. I’m not sure what’s going to happen next. This is way out of my depth, and I’m afraid I’ll screw it all up.”

  “How tragic.” She tilted her head a little. “What is this, some manner of workers dispute? Because I’m an odd choice for you to seek out for understanding. I’m obligated by birth to back the landed gentry against such measures.”

  Well, she hadn’t rang the bell yet. Maybe he had her interest, or only her curiosity.

  The sack shook. “Let me talk to her, boss.” Murray wasn’t bothering to whisper anymore. “You are screwing it up again, surprising no one.”

  Lady Aldora’s eyes shifted about, the bell held high once more. “Who else is here?”

  “It’s not like that!” Cecil shook his head and slung the potato sack from his back to the ground. He opened it and picked Murray up.

  She stared at him with wide eyes.

  “This is Mur-” Pain sprang from the side of Cecil’s head.
“Oww!”

  He lurched to the side, instinctively trying to get away.

  “Guards!” Lady Aldora’s voice echoed around the room as she cried out at the top of her lungs, the little bell ringing over and over.

  “Stop! What are you doing?” Cecil tried to dodge the next swing of the umbrella, but Lady Aldora followed and smacked him again. He back away, holding Murray’s skull up in front of him to shield his face.

  She hit him in the stomach.

  “Oof.” Cecil danced a few steps, trying to keep his balance. He fell forward as pain washed over the back of his head.

  When the stars stopped playing over his eyes he laid a hand against his head. “Oww.”

  It took him a moment to realize his hands were empty. He blinked and swept his gaze around the room.

  Lady Aldora was standing before him, umbrella raised, ready to strike… but he couldn’t see Murray anywhere. He turned, looking out the window only inches behind him. “Oh no.”

  “Why do you have a skull, you psychopath?” Lady Aldora moved the umbrella to counter him each time he tried to get up.

  “That’s Murray. He’s… my friend. Sort of.”

  Lady Aldora stared down at Cecil for a moment before raising her voice once more. “Are there no guards in this pathetic backwater?”

  The sound of rhythmic thumps out in the hallway certainly made it sound like they had a few. Armored men with blue and yellow coats burst into the room, weapons at the ready.

  Lady Aldora pointed the umbrella at Cecil. “Get this lunatic out of here.”

  Screams erupted from beyond the window.

  Well, someone must have found Murray.

  Cecil was forgotten for a moment as two guards stampeded past him to look out the window, two more moved to stand by Lady Aldora, and the rest ran back out the door they had just entered.

  Lady Aldora cut her eyes to Cecil, umbrella still held threateningly, then to the window. “What’s happening out there?”

  One of the guards turned and sat down. He shook his head. “That… that’s impossible.”

  More screams came from inside.

  Lady Aldora pressed the umbrella against Cecil’s chest. “What did you do?”

  “Nothing!” He held up his hands. “You knocked Murray out the window. If someone saw him, it’s your fault. I was keeping him in the sack to avoid exactly this sort of thing.”

  The screams inside got closer. Higher in the building. Some of them were quite masculine.

  While the one guard sat beside Cecil babbling about what was and wasn’t possible, the other three made to protect the door. Lady Aldora stood behind them with her umbrella.

  The cries from outside died away, fading into the distance.

  Three guards stood, weapons pointed at the door. Lady Aldora stood just behind them.

  Silence reigned for a long moment…

  Until there was a knock at the door.

  The guards looked back and forth amongst themselves. Two pointed at the third, who sighed and moved closer to the door.

  “What in the world are you doing?” Lady Aldora pointed her umbrella at him.

  The guard shrugged. “It might be one of ours. Why would anyone else knock?”

  The remaining pair of guards nodded and mumbled about that making sense. One still sat with his back to the window, babbling. Cecil tried not to move in any threatening way. Maybe he could jump out the window… he didn’t know if the third floor was far enough to break bones or not.

  The guard slowly crept over to the door and laid his hand on the knob. He leaned in closed and opened it just a crack before nodding and closing it again.

  Then he let out a scream and threw his back against it. “Monsters!”

  The other two guards pressed up against the door even as skeletal hands broke through it in places, nearly rending it from its hinges.

  Lady Aldora’s eyes were wide, her face pale as a sheet.

  Cecil figured it was probably as good a chance as any. He hopped to his feet, rather sure no one was going to care at this point.

  The guards worked to keep the door shut, aside from the one that had turned in his sanity for a cozy blanket made of crazy.

  After a loud crack the door split and skeletons poured into the room, knocking down the guards trying to keep them out, empty bony hands landing punches against armored men.

  “Defend the Dark Lord!” Murray cried, his red eyes at the front as he stood atop the pile, pointing at Cecil.

  Lady Aldora screamed.

  Cecil had to admit, the scene was a bit unnerving.

  He held up his hands. “Okay, that’s enough. Stop! Don’t hurt anyone!”

  The skeletons stopped in their tracks, hands dropping to their sides as they stood idle.

  Murray let out a sigh. “Shucks. Most fun I’ve had in… centuries, probably.” He waved at the other skeletons then pointed at the guards. “Lets have them not hurt anyone either, hmm?”

  Skeletons picked up the fallen guards, keeping them from fighting back or retrieving their weapons from the ground.

  Cecil crossed the room, his finger flying at Murray. “What the hell are you doing? What happened to stealth?”

  “Well, one, it wasn’t working very well. Two, that kind of flew out the window when I did. Plenty of people saw me. So I called in the cavalry. Didn’t think we’d have long before someone decided you’d make a delightful kabob. So here we are. And, I might add, nary a sword has struck you, so I’d say we’ve done a pretty good job.”

  Cecil sighed. And now more people knew about them. Great. “You could have at least come in the back door.”

  “No could do, boss. Shortest route was the front. Also the most amusing. To me. You should have seen their faces.” Murray chuckled.

  One of the restrained guards roared and swept his arms and legs about, throwing his captor skeleton off balance and booting Murray in the head in the process. The guard fell to the ground, where skeletons piled on top of him.

  Murray’s head, on the ground, sighed as his body gently picked the skull back up and plopped it onto his neck. He turned to face the guard, whose head was all Cecil could see. “Okay, first? You’re being a total cad right now. Second…” He raised his hand.

  Cecil grabbed his bony arm. “We’re not hurting anyone.”

  Murray glanced aside at him, the red lights narrows slits. “You know boss, for the head of the undead legion you’re coming across a little… how do I put this politely? Well, a bit anti-undead legion.”

  “Let him go. That’s an order.”

  Murray shrugged. “Kay.”

  The guards were released, though with a quick gesture from Murray the skeletons also snatched up their weapons.

  As soon as they were free to move, the guards bolted for the door. Or, what was left of it. They were yelling for help from guards, ironically. Well, except for the mumbling guard who had started drooling on himself.

  Cecil sighed. “Well, seems like it’s time to get out of here before this gets any worse.”

  “Wait.”

  He turned to see Lady Aldora sweeping her eyes across the ruined scene that used to be her chambers. “Sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.”

  She seemed to ignore him. “This… is what you meant? You command these… things?”

  Murray crossed his arms. “Things?”

  Cecil held up a hand in front of the skeleton. “I do, yes. It wasn’t my intention, but that doesn’t matter much now. They were on the plot of land Mr. Reginald assigned to me yesterday, so I’m not getting away from this without leaving the country and changing my name.”

  She stepped closer… to Murray. “I meant no disrespect, sir.” She tilted her head as she looked at him, then at the others milling about. “How many are there?”

  Cecil shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  Murray scoffed. “We are legion. For every man, woman, or child that has ever left this life behind can be raised to reinforce us. Such is the powe
r of the Dark Lord.”

  Her eyebrow crept up as she turned to Cecil. “And you’re in charge of them? You’re this ‘Dark Lord?’ ”

  He shrugged again. “I am, though again, not by choice. It just sort of… happened.”

  A smile crept onto her lips. “Very well, I accept. I shall accompany you and advise as best I am able. With the power you possess and my knowledge, we could reshape the face of the world.”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “I mean, I guess. Right now I’m more concerned with not being executed for accidentally falling into a well.”

  “I guess that’s as good a place as any to begin.” She tossed her umbrella aside and yanked a sword from the hands of one of the skeletons. “We’ll need to leave swiftly. More guards will come. It will take time for us to make the proper preparations to fend off attacks.”

  Cecil’s heart felt lighter. Lady Aldora knew about all this stuff, and she was willing to help. He had wanted her to help, but he hadn’t dared to hope she would.

  Such a peach.

  10

  “Uh, yeah, what she said.” Cecil pointed at Lady Aldora.

  Murray narrowed his eyes… but he nodded.

  Lady Aldora shoved through the standing skeletons. Cecil followed her out into the hall. “Where is the rest of this force garrisoned?”

  “Garrisoned? They’re at the tower.”

  She glanced back over her shoulder, one eyebrow raised.

  “Right. Not helpful. Um, it used to be Dire Hill. About a days walk from here, if you stay off the main roads to avoid suspicion. Half a days ride.”

  She turned to face front again. “We shall require a carriage. Horses, at the least.”

  “Probably smart, yeah.”

  She pointed at Murray. “Can you hop out the window again and find something suitable while we descend?”

  The red lights in his eye sockets narrowed. “Why yes, I can.”

  Cecil frowned at him. “Well, please do. I’m not sure I could walk that far again tonight either.”

  Murray sighed and spun, tapping two of the skeletons on the shoulder and wandering back into the room through the trashed door. Cecil heard a distant, “Heads up!” from where he stood in the hall.