Nat, having overheard it all, rolled her eyes at my pretend nonchalance.
(Nat has no time for double-crossers, people who don’t value you…and wimpy older sisters)
“Come on, dopey,” she said to me, slinging her fluro yellow bag over her shoulder.
“Woman’s Day is calling to you.”
She hates what she calls ‘Mum’s magazines,’ since we grew up with Mum permanently on the couch, day in, day out, reading her Woman’s Day and her New Idea. Only ever those two mags, and she would take seven days to read the two.
Seven days. With her doing nothing but reading them all day.
(Mum is a slow reader)
So I picked up my bag and followed Nat out, and she drove us to Cannon Hill. “I can’t believe she just ditches us like that!” I cried, soon as we were in the car.
Nat just shrugged. Perpetually grumpy. “Yeah, well. If she ditches us for Katie…they can have each other.”
And just like that, Nat has forgotten Sherrie and our special friendship, as quickly as Sherrie has forgotten us.
You don’t cross Nat twice. You let her down once, you never get another chance.
But not me. I try and try and try with people. Even bad people. Why?? Why are Nat and I so different?? We had the same upbringing, and we’ve been glued at the hip since birth.
I wonder what it’s like to be so strong?? To just move on like that, not spend another second in hurt or regret.
IT MUST BE FABULOUS!!!
Nat has Dan though. Has always had Dan, or A Dan, another version of him. She’s not been single for even a day since she was 15. Maybe always having a partner makes you stronger.
I mean, it must. Someone is always there to catch you when you fall, when you’re sad…someone is always there to tell you you’re beautiful. Someone there every night to hold you.
Maybe when you have a man every night to come home to, in bed with you every night, nothing else matters. Friends that ditch you mean nothing in comparison to having your great love beside you.
Sigh. I wouldn’t know.
I’ve never had anybody. Not properly. Not like it matters.
It’s just me tonight, my bed, and my tears over losing Sherrie.
Wednesday 5 July 2000
7.45pm
Oh my God, so funny…
I had to work late last night, and Benny kept coming upstairs from the warehouse, demanding to know where Gerry’s lolly stash is hidden.
I was all, “Nut, nut, sorry. Can’t reveal that kind of classified information.”
Benny kept laughing, then on his tenth trip upstairs
(having a blood sugar crash clearly),
he was all, “PINKY, WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE FUCKING LOLLIES!!!” and “I NEED SHUG-GAAAA!!”
(he’s worse than a girl!!)
“COME ON PINKY, WHERE’S THE STASH!!”
(oh I just got it now. He was stoned)
And me, all zen like, and typing away madly. “I am not telling you, Benny Boy.”
But then I finally cracked, cause he just would not shut up, grabbed a key on Renee’s desk, and opened a drawer in the filing cabinet in the corner.
“Now you SWEAR you WILL NOT tell Renee I told you where they are, Benny??”
“I promise, Pinky. ON MY LIFE.”
“Promise??”
“I promise!! I won’t tell!”
We then stood there, laughing madly as we stuffed our faces with lollies. We kept saying to each other –
“You SWEAR you won’t tell Renee I showed you where they are!”
“YOU swear you won’t tell Renee I ate them!!”
“I swear.”
“I swear!”
“I FUCKING swear – ”
“I know you do, Pinky!!”
“Pinky swear?”
“Pinky swear!”
“Like ACTUAL Pinky swear, with our pinky fingers, NOT MY NAME Pinky swear – ”
We entwined pinky fingers and shook.
SO TODAY, Renee asked me in her best stern office manager voice
(she’s not very good at the sternness),
“Pinky, who ate all the lollies??”
“It was Benny,” I replied immediately. “Benny did it! I saw him and EVERYTHING –”
“Funny,” Renee said. “He says the same thing about you!!”
That bastard!!
Later, Benny came upstairs and was pointing and laughing at me. “I dobbed you in, Pinky!!!”
“I dobbed you in, too, Benny!!”
We dissolved in fits. ‘You SWORE!!” he gasped.
“SO DID YOU!!”
“Our promises aren’t worth shit!” Benny laughed. We laughed harder. We were seriously in hysterics.
“Benny and Pinky, sitting in a tree!!” Daryl Agnew started singing, as he held up some glittering lingerie he’d just bought himself.
“Who ate all my lollies!!” Gerry yelled from his desk.
Benny and I pointed at each other.
So funny.
Matt looked at me with those intense eyes of his today as I left.
I kinda REALLY DIG the way he looks at me.
Saturday 8 July 2000
4.20pm
Nat and I took over a dozen yellow roses to Joy’s house for her birthday today, then visited Mum, who is doing a lot better. We drove her home from the hospital today and did her grocery shopping.
I’m so stuffed. Going to take a lovely nap. These are the times I’m grateful to be single…no one to wake you up!!
5.01pm
Damn it. Evvy woke me up.
5.15pm
He just called ‘to say hello’.
It is Saturday night, after all. Which means date night for him and Tom.
5.35pm
God his voice is sexy.
5.46pm
I can’t sleep now.
5.57pm
Stupid sexy Everard.
Tuesday 11 July 2000
9.58pm
Sherrie actually had lunch with me today!!!!!!!
….
But Katie was away sick.
So I was SUPPOSED to stop in at Beth’s after work and drop her in the latest Avon catalogue, but I forgot I’d promised Dan I’d go to the gym with him and Josh. I figured I would do it afterwards, but the boys spend HOURS at the gym, and I knew I wouldn’t get home till late.
So I rang Beth dead on 6pm and explained I couldn’t come, could I drop it off tomorrow night, and she seriously cracked it at me!!
It went like this:
“Hello?”
“Hey Bethy Wethy!!”
(don’t know why I resort to baby talk with Beth, other than she’s scary and I resort to an infant state out of pure terror)
“Hey babe!!”
(she’s genuinely happy to hear from me. She loves me. Beth loves me!!)
(that’ll change in two seconds)
“How are you?? How was your day?”
(showing interest in one’s friends – before blowing them off – very proper and decent of me)
“OH GOD, don’t even get me started on my day – ”
(a pause, before she works up to a long, drawn out description of her day…which seems like a very LONG day, judging by the LONG reenactment of her day she just gave me)
“Hey listen…”
(I interrupt as gently and nonchalantly as possible, like this is no big deal…damn it!! I’m Sherrie)
“…You know that Avon book I was gonna drop off tonight??...”
Deadly, deathly pause. (Anabeth so needs to have children, because she has the scary mum pause down pat) “Yes. What. About. IT.”
(fuck, she’s scary)
“Is it okay if I drop it off tomorrow night? I thought I’d have time before the gym, but I really don’t, and it’ll be late by the time I get home, and I’m really, really tired…”
(I trail off at the deadly silence on the other end)
“You SAID you would bring it tonight – ”
“Yes,
but – ”
“It’s DUE Thursday!! We have to have our orders in by Thursday – ”
“Yes but – ”
“How am I SUPPOSED TO look through an ENTIRE Avon book in ONE NIGHT, and COME UP WITH my order in ONE NIGHT – ”
(first world problems there)
“Well, you’ve got a day to decide – ”
“NO I DON’T!!! I have ONE NIGHT TO DECIDE MY ORDER!!!”
“Oh, is that Dan??”
(imaginary Dan has arrived in his imaginary car, beeping his imaginary horn)
“I’m so sorry Beth, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll bring it tomorrow night, I promise!!”
“Yes, well – ”
“Love you, bye!!!”
(when all else fails, tell them you love them)
Anyway, the gym was good. Dan and Josh are fun, when it’s just them! No annoying girlfriends.
I’m not sure why boys act like such douches around their women, but they go from fun, carefree, happy guys to like old men that have been beaten down for fifty years. They start to sigh, like A LOT, and roll their eyes and say things like “Are you wearing THAT out tonight?? You look like a skank,” then go cower in a corner when their girlfriend starts shrieking at them…
GOD, why do I even want a relationship again?? Every couple I know makes it look like some form of torture.
So the boys and I stayed at the gym from 6ish till 8.30pm. I did an hour (HOUR) on the rower, 30 minutes on the bike, 20 minutes on some contraption that was like skiing, then 30 minutes of me lying on the floor, dying, while random people stepped over me. One even kicked me.
But when I said to Dan at one stage, “I’ve burnt off 250 calories!!”, he was all, “That’s not that good you know. You consume more than that at breakfast.”
Maybe he does!! But I don’t stand over the sink shoveling ten weetbix into my mouth each morning. I’m lucky if I even eat ONE weetbix before driving to work in a tired daze.
In fact, this is all I’ve eaten the ENTIRE DAY:
Breakfast: Air
Morning Tea: Invoicing (paper has no calories, I’m sure)
Lunch: A ham and cheese toastie and a can of Coke
Afternoon Tea: Me running down the stairs in the hopes of consuming a packet of chips and another Coke, to Daryl Agnew yelling from the top of the stairs, “Pinky!! Sue has a BIG order she needs you to type NOW!! Move it, Barbie!!”, to me saying a sad goodbye to those chips and Coke, and running back upstairs, in my heels, to Daryl saying, “I love ya, Pinky. You’re my favourite.”
(worth more than food, Dag’s love!!)
Dinner: Beth yelling at me
See! No way I’ve consumed 250 calories today. No wonder I feel so lightheaded. I need to go eat.
11.20pm
I quickly ate 2minute noodles, had a glass of delicious Coke, then ate some chocolate, then nibbled on some chopped up carrot and cucumber with a bit of Italian dressing.
Then I went downstairs to shower and Sharon nabbed me of course, demanding, while I’m wrapped in a towel, where I’ve been and who I’ve been with.
God, she drives me crazy!!
Then once I’d gotten back up here, my phone rings at 10.40pm, and I just knew it was her, but if I’d ignored it she would’ve come up here, WHICH IS FAR WORSE. So I practically cried as I picked up the phone
(why oh why did I ever give her my number??),
and had to listen to her for 20 minutes go on about crap. I think I fell asleep at one point.
I am so tired.
Chapter 3
WALK ME OUT OR LOSE ME FOREVER
Wednesday 12 July 2000
7.30pm
Ever rang!! I’d just got home from gym with Dan and Josh again
(had an absolute blast with them),
and I stopped in at Beth’s after the gym to give her the precious Avon book, and she had pink flowers for me!!!
AWWWW.
This is why I love Beth.
(scary Beth)
Anyway, then I came home to HIM ringing. Sir Everard.
He was all, “Where the fuck have you been!!!”
Me, laughing, “At the gym with Dan and Josh.”
“And last night?”
“The gym again!!” I was still laughing. Don’t know why – Ever is just funny, even when annoyed.
(he’s actually especially funny then)
“Well I was going to come over last night!! I rang like ten times!!”
(ten times in guy speak equals he rang twice)
“And I was going to come over tonight, but now it’s too late!”
“How about you ring me at work then, stupid!!” I said. “Plus I rang you Monday night to make plans with you!! You shoulda made plans with me then!”
“Yeah, yeah. Guess what I’m doing Friday night?”
“Go-carting? With your boyfriend?”
“No, little miss smart ass. I’m spending it with you!”
Silence by me as I process this. Ever said, “Great!! I found something that shuts you up – ”
“You’re serious about spending Friday night with me?”
(I’ll believe it when I see it)
“As serious as your insane love for pink!!”
“Well, that’s pretty serious – ”
“You’re telling me!”
“I’ll believe it when I see it, Everard – ”
“I’m serious, woman! I’m spending Friday night with you, my…” He paused, stumbling over an endearment for me. “…my little, crazy Pinky.”
Aw. Bestill my heart.
(the worst is that pathetic endearment DID make my heart go crazy)
“You are SO going to cancel!! For Tom!!”
“I swear, I am not going to. I am all yours.”
(he said this with such a low, sexy voice. Sigh)
“I’m going to a Lions game Saturday night, so Friday night is all for you, woman.”
See what a coupla nights out with other boys get me??
(even if it is just to the gym)
Men are dumb.
8.19pm
So Everard turns up here!!
He makes me so many things! He’s so fun, and funny. We have so much fun together.
As soon as I see him, I forget everything that was pissing me off about him. All I see is how fun and gorgeous he is.
He actually asked me to come stay over his place tonight, but I hedged. There’s nothing like your own bed, AND NOBODY ELSE IN IT, when you’re this bone tired.
Ugh. Can’t think of anything else but him right now. Was curling up in bed with the latest Dean Koontz book, but now I’m just all dreamy and thinking of him.
His kisses tonight were heavenly. The way he looks at me…like I’m the most delicious thing he’s ever seen in his life…
I love that. Gives me chills!
Richard rang while Evvy was here. And guess what????!!! He’s coming back home!!!!
Oh I can’t wait. I miss him so much. I’ll have a friend again!
He wouldn’t tell me when, the bugger, but I swear, I will not take him for granted this time. He’s tried to be there for me so many times, and I just pushed him away.
He’s going to see so much of me, he’s going to wish he stayed in England!!
He sounded a bit hurt that Everard was here, but I soon had him laughing.
(and ignored Ever for him, so he was happy)
Rich kept calling me Lesbo, and asking how my girlfriend Anabeth is. He is convinced we’re closet lesbians.
I couldn’t stop laughing, cause Evvy had just said, like ten minutes ago, that Beth is “turning sides, for the pink side.”
(meaning me, not lesbianism in general)
I have to make Rich TOP PRIORITY when he’s back. He has more than proven himself as THE best friend a girl can ask for.
(apart from one’s sister, of course)
Rich needs to feel special.
Ever was put out a bit by me chatting and laughing to Richard…oh, well. Not like we’re a cou
ple or anything.
I REFUSE to ever be in a real relationship again with the lower species that are men.
(oh my God, I love his kisses)
Thursday 13 July 2000
6.40pm
Evvy rang again tonight, when I got home from work!! What is up with that!! And he asked me to come over to his place for the night.
Bless the very ground he walks on.
BUT, I had to wait for the Avon lady to come, then Beth was dropping in to pick up her Avon (no way I was calling her to change days either), then I’d have to sort dinner, cause lo and behold Evvy would cook me dinner.
His mum cooks him chicken wings with some sort of peanut sauce every night. That’s like all he eats. Every single night!!!
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