Benny was still laughing. “You’re DREAMING, Pinky, if you think you’re gonna get me, first ball – ”
I lobbed that ball so hard, and dunked him.
Lachlan fell about, laughing his ass off next to me.
Oh my God, was so fucking funny.
Thankfully, I’d brought a dress to work, cause John Cash had said to all us office girls, “You WILL GET WET, at work on Friday,” but none of the other girls got wet AT ALL.
Just me.
So after all that, me and Sars left together at 4.30pm
(Julia had left at her earlier finishing time of 2.30)
and drove in Sara’s car to Julia’s, and the three of us got ready together. I wore my 60’s vintage pink paisley dress that I pull out on all my special occasions, because I look ROCKING IN IT.
Sars drove us into the city, and the fashion awards were in this cool ballroom inside the city hall.
What a fantastic night!!
The outfits were STUNNING and our table was right at the front alongside the runway.
The dresses up close were all so beautiful; everything shimmered and shone. The materials used were GORGEOUS. It was so magical. Like Cinderella.
Jules and I talked the whole night and giggled like teens together. I filled up on a constant stream of
(free!!!)
champagne.
(no pink champers, alas)
Joy drove me home, which was kind of worrying, cause I saw her, chug chug chugging those drinks down like a red wine train.
2.00am
Nat and Dan just got home from Dicey Riley’s with the Scooby Gang and I’ve been drilling them about Evvy.
(what did he say? What did he do? Did he say anything about me? Did he say ‘fuck I’m so in love with that crazy sister of yours’??)
Both have been surprisingly clammed up about it. No goss for me.
He hasn’t called me since Tuesday. Some boyfriend.
Saturday 21 October 2000
5.37pm
Nat and I are about to go to the Ricky Martin concert.
I just feel really down. Verging on depressed, even.
Probably I’m letting Evvy get to me again. I wish I’d never fallen, I want to give up on him. I feel done.
I went to Indro today, walked around for an hour while I waited for my film from last night to be developed. The photos were SO COOL (I look hot!!). Sars, Jules and I got the most beautiful framed, professional photo of us last night.
I spent most of the time at Indro searching for Evvy’s 21st birthday present, and it just sunk my mood more. I kept thinking why am I doing this?? Why am I contemplating spending hundreds of dollars on him when I’m still not happy how things are between us??
I don’t know what I’m doing, why I believed him. It’s been four days since I’ve even heard from him.
That’s not a boyfriend.
Then, today him, Mark and Josie went down the coast, and Josie rang and invited Nat and Dan, while I stood in my room, listening and trying not to cry.
I left for Indro not long after that. When it became painfully obvious no one was inviting me to go.
That hurt, man. That hurt A LOT.
He knows how much I absolutely love the coast…he knows I practically OWN RIGHTS to the coast. I’m like a pink Aussie biker.
I OWN the Gold Coast.
He’s supposed to be BEING MY BOYFRIEND, too!! Who goes to the coast, invites their girlfriend’s sister, but not your girlfriend????!!!
I’m getting madder and madder just thinking about it.
I just want to cry right now. I’m just feeling very alone. Everyone else has a partner. Except me.
Jules has Mike, Nat has Dan, Josie has Mark, Tom has Evvy, all the girls at work have partners. I want someone.
To love me!! Who I love back!!
Ever just CLEARLY can’t be the boyfriend type. I have to finally decide if I’m going to put up with it, or save myself.
I met Josh at the gym again this arvo. Just showered from the session.
The gym guy was SERIOUSLY cracking onto me so badly this arvo. Josh was getting all put out about it! Was so cute!!
I got home about 4.30pm, showered, and am relaxing in bed.
Wishing I didn’t have to ‘She bangs, she bangs!’
Sunday 22 October 2000
1.13pm
Ricky Martin was great – I was just so tired and depressed.
He has to be gay, right??? He dances and dresses WAY too well to be straight.
And he’s SO HOT.
All the good ones are gay.
I came home from the concert quiet, Nanna Nat quiet too, and showered, warm pjed up
(cause I love the cozy, protected feeling flannelette gives me),
and fell into bed and watched
(you guessed it)
‘Moonlighting’ with Giz.
Moonlighting is the new (old) Dawson’s. Dawson’s been replaced.
There’s a new Creek in town!! And it’s called Cybil!!
(yeah I don’t know what that means either)
Think I might just stay in bed all day.
Monday 23 October 2000
7.56pm
I couldn’t take it anymore – I rang Evvy yesterday arvo.
We managed to talk without screaming.
I stupidly went over there.
And stayed the night.
He told me AGAIN, he does and doesn’t want to be with me…but then he told me he cares!!
It just fucks with my head.
Then he confused me more by cuddling and kissing me and making love to me all night.
I’m too in love with him. Sends me a bit loopy.
Work was busy today. I’ve been to the gym tonight with Dan and Josh.
At work, actually, there was a bit of a flutter over Joy. Apparently, after driving me home Friday night, she crashed her car. Not badly, she’s fine, but she hit another car.
And cause she’s the boss’s sister, her car is under as a company car, and Joy was upset
(which I hate to see!! I adore Joy)
cause Renee and Gerry were openly calling out over the whole office and accusing her of being drunk…then Gerry called me into his office and shut his door
(which is when you know shit is serious),
and was all, “Pinky, how did Joy seem to you when she drove you home??” and “How many drinks did she have at the fashion awards?”
I sat in Gerry’s office, watching him, thinking does he REALLY think I’m gonna throw Joy under the bus??
(or crashed car)
My Joy?? My Girl Friday??
Loyalty is my thing. Even if I have to LIE to keep that loyalty, I will do it.
“Ah, I only saw her have one or two drinks,” I lied EXPERTLY.
“I’ve seen Joy in action, Pinky,” Gerry argued, eating from his lolly stash. He offered me some, kindly, like a good lawyer/prosecutor before they trap you!! “She drinks WAY MORE than that normally.”
“Yeah, well, she knew she was driving me home,” I replied.
Gerry stared at me, as if searching for some honesty.
(good luck with that!)
“Is Joy in trouble?” I asked.
Gerry finally turned back to his computer and all his dollar figures. “No more than USE-YOU-ALL.”
The way he said usual. Cracked me up. Like Mr Sheffield and Fran Fine in ‘The Nanny,’ when he copies her pronunciation of ‘future’ (FEW-CHORE).
“Sara said she had ten drinks or more,” Gerry continued.
Wow. Way to go, Sars. That’s loyalty for you.
If Joy had drunk that much, then yes, worrying. And even I had questioned her decision to drive.
(and since I’m permanently hammered, if I’m questioning something, you know it’s gotta be worrying)
But nobody was supporting her here, they were all attacking, and even if you do something stupid or wrong
(I should know),
there should always be someone there, suppo
rting and loving you.
I was gonna go down as a liar and possibly go to hell, but I was going to go down damn well loving and supporting whoever needs me!!!
And if she’d consumed ten drinks then drove, I was not gonna be the one to throw her under the bus!
Apparently that is what Sars is for!!
They’ve never got along, Joy and Sara…in fact, I joined Sin in time to witness the most epic screaming match by those two.
I’ve lost respect for Sars now, after a great night out with her, for doing that to Joy.
Everyone knows Joy is picked on at times, labelled. She’s the ‘emotional’ one, the ‘alcoholic,’ the ‘unsuccessful’ one out of her and John Cash, the ‘boss’s sister,’ like it’s something less than just being his sister.
I’ve heard it all in reference to Joy.
No one needs to attack her some more.
I see myself in Joy, and respect her and love her.
I feel for her.
I look up to her, too, while the judgemental are looking down on her.
She’s a great woman. Greater than these bitches at work!!!
I hate how people label others. I’ve been labelled emotional, too, by my own family and loved ones! They say emotional but mean nutjob.
It’s not nice. Really pisses me off.
So I was all in protective mode over her.
I came out of Gerry’s office with Joy at her desk, attempting to work while tears streamed down her face. I wanted to hug her but knew the whole office was watching.
Later I went to the kitchen for water and Joy came in, glancing over her shoulder for anyone coming in behind us.
“What happened?? What did he ask you??”
“How many drinks you’d had, all that crap,” I replied, filling up my glass with sweet, sweet water.
Joy was doing her over-the-top gestures, like hurry up, tell me more!!
(I love her dramatics…I love dramatic, expressive people. I also strangely love calm, still people)
“And, AND?? What did you say?”
I grinned at her. “I told him you had one or two drinks at most the whole night.”
Her whole face relaxed. She wrapped me in a big bear hug. “I love you, girl. Thank you.”
“No worries, babe. I love you too.”
“I betcha Sara didn’t say that though.”
“No. She threw you under the bus.”
“Bitch! No surprise though.” Joy laughed her big laugh.
(that I love so much)
Drama averted, thanks to moi.
Joy not in jail, thanks to moi.
Perhaps me in jail, cause I wrote it all down.
Oh, well. Pink is the new orange.
And then straight after THAT, I was madly typing in reps’ orders, and one of my Red Rooster Barbies I have lined up on the invoicing printer
(blu tacked, so safe like)
decided to take a suicidal LEAP into the printer as all these orders were trying to print. I saw her out the corner of my eye, but kept typing madly…
And the whole office SURGED and the power went out. She went fully through the printer. Gerry had to fish her out.
Oh, man. Gerry was NOT HAPPY.
“Pinky, this was a THREE THOUSAND DOLLAR PRINTER,” as he pulled my Barbie out, all her hair ripped off and missing.
“Oh my GOD! Look at my poor Barbie!!!” I screamed.
Gerry gave me this LOOK.
(scary)
“She’s BUTCH BARBIE NOW!” I cried.
Julia fell about laughing. “You just created the first Lesbian Barbie ever!!!”
Oh God, was funny. Despite Gerry wanting to kill me.
He even walked off, once resetting the power, shouting, “No more Barbies, Pinky!!!”
Oh yeah?? Who is gonna enforce that? The Barbie Police??
Wednesday 25 October 2000
9.00pm
Sick.
Got a sore throat. I feel miserable.
I went to Evvy’s last night and had a terrible time. He was in one of his “Don’t touch me,” “You’re crowding me!”, “Why are you even here?” moods, even though he called me and invited me round.
Was awful. I was too defeated to even argue with him about the way he was acting.
Nothing is ever going to change, so why am I putting myself through more pain?
I feel done.
I feel like I long for a life where I don’t have to wonder what he’s up to, and whether he cares, and drill Nat and Dan for info all the time.
It’s exhausting!! Down to the bone!
I just don’t want to care anymore. I just don’t want to hurt anymore! I don’t want boys anymore!
I don’t want any of them. I’m sick of dating, I’m sick of being exhausted all the time, I’m sick of pretending to be interested in them, just so I can say I have a life.
I’m done.
I want to stay home and watch videos and hide away for awhile. Possibly forever.
He’s just hurt me so much. Hurt, on top of all I’m trying to forget about abusive guys, just hurt on top of hurt on top of hurt.
I’ve got to move on.
I just adore him and that’s the whole problem – I adore him, but he doesn’t adore me.
Friday 27 October 2000
6.26pm
Still sick. Went to work yesterday but left early to go to the docs.
I’ve been doing SO WELL too – about 8 weeks since I’ve been sick. My body has to shit itself now.
All I’ve done is lie in bed all day and watch Foxtel and be miserable.
Richie’s rung a couple of times, and Graham.
No Ever. WHAT A SURPRISE.
I’ve watched Moonlighting and ‘Romancing the Stone.’
God I love that movie. I watch it and just LONG for that adventure, that romance, that life!! Being a bestselling romance novelist.
I’ve wanted to be Joan Wilder since I was 8.
I want it so bad it hurts.
You know when you want your life to be like it is in the movies?? It seems so close, like I could just reach out and touch it –
Alas, this is my life.
So, okay, I’m SO PISSED.
Evvy rang, and Dan had just arrived home, so Dan picked up the phone, and Evvy asked for me, which was a surprise
(I expected him to just talk to Dan and hang up…it would be his USE-YOU-ALL M.O.)
and said straight away to me, “I hear you’re sick, woman.”
Cough, cough. “Yeah, well.”
“Aw, poor baby – ”
“Shut up, you – ”
“No, you shut up!”
“No, YOU – ”
“I will if you do.”
“HOW ABOUT YOU BOTH SHUT UP!!” yelled Dan.
Ever and I cracked up laughing.
Then Evvy was all, “Too bad you’re sick,” and I was all Bloodhound Gang, ears pricked up, a scent noted in the air. “What, what??” I asked.
And Evvy went, “I’m going now,” and I was all, “Hang on a minute. Are you going to ask me to do anything?”
“I did. Just then. But you’re sick.” He said it with relief. He may as well have been saying ‘Thank God. She’s sick. I’m free.’
“Hello! YOU said I’m sick and determined I’m too sick to come over. I never said I was too sick to come.”
“I don’t want to get sick! Keep your germs to yourself, Sicky!”
“The compassion and love…it’s overwhelming.”
He laughed. “I do my best.”
“You know there IS another 48 hours to the weekend – ”
“Ahuh.”
“So you COULD ask me to do something in that time.”
“AHUH.”
I’d lost him. “You know – ”
“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!!”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to say – ”
“TRUST ME. I DO.”
“But – ”
“GOODBYE.”
And he hung up!!
The motherfucking bastard hung up!!!
Next minute, Nat was home from work. She took one look at my face, and me standing beside the phone, all frozen like, like I was about to work up to something, and went, “Uh-oh.”
“Yeah, Kerry’s working herself up to one of her epic meltdowns,” Dan added from the lounge.
“Let me guess…Evvy?”
I made her drive me up to the bottle-o. She did so under much duress. “You’re a fucking alco, you know that, right??”
I rolled my eyes next to her in the car. “That’s the pot calling the kettle black all right.”
“I mean, you’re SICK too. You can’t be all Mary J. Bliging it up.”
“I don’t even know what that means, sister of mine.”
“It means you’re all…GETTING JIGGY WITH IT.”
“Did the warehouse boys slip something into your drink or what today?”
“You know what I mean.”
“If I was black, yeah, I WOULD.”
Nat: “SIGH.”
“You’ve gone all Will Smith on me.”
“Woman – ”
I groaned. “Please don’t call me woman. HE calls me woman.”
“Can you just DUMP THE FUCKER?”
Shampoo Page 23
