Gentle On My Mind (Reapers MC: Pema Chapter Book 1)

by Bijou Hunter

But I could be wrong. I don’t know Avery well. Maverick’s family didn’t take any real interest in me until I partially moved into his apartment. Suddenly, they realized their mysterious middle boy might actually get lucky with the weirdo.

  Now, they acknowledge me with more zeal. Vaughn goes as far as to yell my name across a crowded room when he sees me enter. Yes, most of them work to be friendly. Not Raven, though. Her inability to pretend to be happy about us has put a strain on her relationship with Maverick.

  The rest of the Majors family claim they’re relieved Maverick won’t die alone.

  “It was a genuine concern,” the youngest Majors sibling told me back during their Easter visit.

  I frowned at Sylvie, who took my expression as a challenge. “But he’s only twenty-six. Are you expecting him to die young?”

  “Are you threatening me?” Sylvie growled, looking ready to fight.

  I didn’t back down. Though I’m no badass, I own enough common sense to be certain she was full of hot air. Even if Sylvie was willing to hit me, five members of her family were in the room at the time. Any one of them would tackle her if necessary. Instead, Denver started chanting “dude” until Sylvie lost interest in me and went over to see what he was doing.

  Avery can be as bitchy as her youngest sister but never toward me. She likely views me as a delicate flower. That’s what Savannah calls me to my face. Of course, next to the girls in her family, most women are weak.

  “Did you enjoy Pema?” Avery asks, now on the floor with me as her feet warm in the light streaming through the windows facing the train tracks.

  Io sits against the wall, excited Corky has stopped moving so she can pet him. Minutes ago, Maverick took off on his Harley to check on a few things. He swore he’d be back by dinner.

  “It was magical,” I say, unwilling to edit myself. That’s one benefit to these people knowing I was a serial killer’s sex toy. They’re slow to ridicule anything dumb I might say. Well, not Sylvie, but she’s the family’s hard case. “We’re going back next week to find a place to live and look around.”

  “How was Colton?” Avery asks, giving me a grin before flashing one to her daughter. Io always keeps a very close eye on her mother, just waiting to be abandoned.

  “Colton reminded me of River.”

  “Did they pull their dicks out and swing them around?”

  “No swinging. They did measure them. Maverick hid part of his dick, so Colton would think he won. You know how sneaky your brother can be.”

  Avery smirks. “He does love to let other men think they’re in charge when he’s really pushing buttons in the background.”

  “Are you afraid you won’t like Pema?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

  “Not afraid. In reality, I would prefer to live by the beach and surf each day. But my family is in Kentucky. If I must live in a redneck town, one is as good as the other. Well, except for Ellsberg. I feel under a microscope there. Also, the college kids get on my nerves. But whether I end up in Shasta, Pema, or Conroe, I’ll make myself happy.”

  “Why not stay in Shasta? You seem to like it here, and the apartment will be empty.”

  “River is insufferable, and he has his little clique. If I have to live in the same town as one of my brothers, I choose Mav. Besides, Pema doesn’t smell like unwashed ass. That’s two pluses. Don’t need a third,” Avery says and then flashes a green-eyed glare in my direction. “Why, do you not want me in Pema?”

  “Why wouldn’t I want a friend in a new town?”

  Avery’s full lips curve upward. “I don’t mind Heidi O’Keefe or her brother, Gunnar. They’re fine, but we’re not super close, even if our parents are. I think Heidi felt outnumbered growing up with four Majors women against her puny ass.”

  Nodding, I don’t mention how I often feel the same way. Instead, I watch Io gently pet a temporarily tame Corky. The kitten still seems ready to bolt, though.

  “Are you worried about the move?” Avery asks after we’re quiet for too long, and a second No Doubt song plays.

  “No.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “I felt right in Pema. Or maybe leaving Shasta is what helped me. I always dreamed of living in a big city, but that’s not in the cards. Like how beach living isn’t for you.”

  “Maverick would move to the city for you.”

  Her words give me a jolt of excitement over knowing her brother’s feelings are so obvious. “But he needs to work for the Reapers. Maverick only cares for a few things, and the club is one of them.”

  “But you’re one of them, too.”

  “I’ll be fine in Pema. I just need to be away from here. I don’t want people knowing me and asking questions. I can’t deal with the pressure from my childhood or when I was with O’Meara. I need to be away from here.”

  I feel myself growing agitated. Shasta bears down on me, smothering my good vibes with its constant reminders of how I don’t belong to myself. I’m not whoever I want to be. I’m the daughter of Kayleigh and George. I’m O’Meara’s sex toy. I’m the nerd from school. The straight-A student. The volleyball player. The girl who tripped on the first day of junior high.

  The Shasta stink never bothered me as a kid. Now, the scent of death reminds me of what this town offered—dead parents, dead girls in the basement, dead me, dead Husband. Everything dies and rots. No one remembers. Nothing matters.

  Avery watches me pace across the living room. I halt many times, staring out the window, waiting for my heart to stop racing. Instead, I feel myself drop lower into a darker level. My mind hears the women’s screams as if they’re in the room with me now.

  Io notices the mood shift, immediately ditching the cat and heading for her mother’s arms. I never got to do that growing up. My mom didn’t want me around if I wasn’t winning. Not like she could brag about hugs in the yearly Christmas card or show off over having a child who loved her. Everyone’s kid loves them. The biggest losers in the world can find admiration from a stupid child. No, I need to stop crying and whining and get my shit together.

  If I was at Shelby’s house, she would drop everything to hug me. She’d help me see how the world wasn’t all ugliness and violence and suffering. Without her, I ask myself, why did I even survive? What was the point of keeping my head above water if those women’s screams would haunt me forever? Is it forever, though? Really? Come on, you whiner! It’s been less than two years. Get over your fucking tears. Those women didn’t cry for you. Fuck them. No, fuck you. Fuck everyone!

  Avery switches the song to something soft from Sarah McLachlan before carrying Io to where I shove myself into a corner. I shouldn’t cower. My father hated that scaredy-cat shit. Be strong! Face your fears, Violet!

  “Gentle,” Avery says, stroking my face while speaking to Io. “Violet is our friend.”

  Her daughter, so good at being a little badass bitch even before the age of two, hesitates about touching the crazy woman in the corner. Why am I crying? Even the child thinks I need to shut up.

  “If someone came to my house when I was a teenager,” Avery says in a soft voice as her gaze avoids me and focuses on Io who strokes my other cheek now, “I’d have fought him. I would have gone crazy bitch, and I might have won. Or I might have been dead at sixteen. If he managed to get me back to his house, I’d have fought him. Every single chance until he finally killed me. Then, when River and Maverick came busting through that door to destroy the monster, they’d find me long dead.”

  “I didn’t save those women,” I say, hearing them calling my name. “O’Meara told them that I could save them if I wanted. They called for my help, believing I could free them from their suffering. Sometimes, he took me down there to watch them beg and get their hopes up. But I couldn’t save them, and they always died.”

  “I couldn’t have saved them, either. I’d have been too busy raging at how I needed to kill him. You played his game and stayed alive. Every single one of those women would have wanted to live, too. Bu
t I bet none of them would have been smart enough to follow the monster’s rules. I wouldn’t have. I’d break them, thinking I was a badass. Then, I’d be dead.”

  “I hate Shasta,” I whimper, struggling to find my way out of the darkness in my mind. “The smell gets on my skin, making me reek of death.”

  “And that’s why we’re moving to Pema. You and me and Io and Maverick. We’ll pack up our stuff and start over in a town that doesn’t smell like death. And we’ll go out to eat and watch movies, and you’ll babysit when Io finally lets me out of her sight for long enough for me to date. One day, you’ll have a baby, and I’ll watch him.”

  “I’m sorry I whined.”

  Avery finally lifts her gaze to meet mine. Io watches her mother, still stroking my cheek.

  “You survived, Violet, but pain doesn’t wash off. Look at me. I was so angry over how Savannah got her dumb blond surfer, and I didn’t. Even though I think deep down I didn’t want Bran. I just wanted what Savannah had because we’re always equal. Now, she’s ahead. I’m fucking livid, and I can’t shake it off.”

  Avery pauses to smile reassuringly at a wary Io. “Now, when you compare what haunts us, can you see why no one expects you to apologize for feeling bad or trapped? What is Maverick’s biggest complaint in life? That he has to listen to River and Shane flirt? No, we know we have it easy, but we still whine. Considering you had it so hard, you should never apologize for feeling bad.”

  Seeing a break in the darkness, I reach for positive thoughts. “I was happy in Pema. Then, I got here, and the smell and the memories erased the good feelings I had. Now, I just want to tear myself apart.”

  “Well, we can’t have you doing that,” she says, taking my hand before we walk to the kitchen. “Where do you hide the edibles?”

  “There’s pot soda in the fridge.”

  “Good. Io doesn’t drink soda,” she says, finding the mini bottle of lemon-flavored drink, “but you can let her hold the bottle when you’re done. That way, she feels important. I want my baby to always know she’s my favorite person.”

  Io grins when Avery rubs her nose against her daughter’s face. We take the drink to the couch. The music turns off, and a children’s movie takes its place. I don’t really want to watch “Ice Age,” but there’s no denying it distracts me from my bad mood.

  Of course, the drugs don’t hurt, either.

  THE SENTINEL

  I’m not particularly surprised to get the call from my father saying he’s driven up to Shasta to see me. I assume he spoke to Cooper, who had talked to Colton. No doubt, Heidi O’Keefe also knew my every move in Pema. Then, she reported back to her father, who relayed the information to Cooper. Now, the Reapers’ head honcho has traveled to Shasta to hash out the details.

  I arrive at Dirty Toes Saloon, which is closed for the meeting. Three motorcycles are parked next to those belonging to River and Shane. One definitely belongs to my dad, while I assume the third is Judd O’Keefe’s. Inside, I find my brother acting like a grown-up. There’ll be no wrestling in front of Cooper today.

  “Have a nice trip?” Cooper asks as soon as I grab a chair and sit at the end of the round booth, where he relaxes with his two enforcers.

  The three men make middle age look easy—full head of hair, plenty of muscles on their six-foot-plus frames, and few wrinkles. Each man wears a T-shirt of varying colors and faded jeans. I think they’re going for a relaxed look, but Cooper’s dark eyes are too focused to be casual. His son’s future is on his mind.

  “Violet liked Pema. That’s what mattered,” I reply, answering his question.

  While Cooper stares at me as if I’m on thin ice, Judd asks, “When are you moving?”

  “After Shelby gives birth.”

  Cooper’s expression immediately shifts. He gives Vaughn a side-frown as if my dad ought to make me move faster.

  “What’s the hurry?” I ask, saving my father from pretending to put his foot down with me.

  “What do you know about Pema?”

  “The pressure from Louisville keeps the flow of drugs and weapons to a minimum. Local good ole boys remain unimpressed by Heidi’s leadership skills no matter what she does. The old Pema club we took over burned many bridges. Their former members need a lot of guidance. The entire club’s survival is based on how the local assholes don’t want you sending half of Ellsberg up to Pema.”

  “What do you know about Bufford Cosgrove?” Cooper asks as a gotcha.

  “Very little. I do know about Amon Cosgrove from the town next door. Charismatic preacher with a big church and an even bigger pull in the area. He isn’t a fan of our club. Claims we’re sinners fouling up their slice of heaven. He’s also fucking his assistant, a neighbor’s daughter, and a few other members of his flock.”

  Cooper frowns at me, maybe thinking to ask how I would know about the affairs. Then, he decides not to show his hand by asking how I got mine.

  “Bufford’s his brother and the newly elected mayor in Pema,” Cooper explains. “He ran on cleaning up the streets and returning purity to the town’s soul. Or some shit like that. The guy seemed like a long shot. Heidi worried, but we figured the old mayor had it in the bag. Motherfucker seemed too corrupt to lose. Obviously, we were wrong.”

  “Killing a new mayor won’t be easy,” Vaughn says, knowing where Cooper’s thoughts are headed. “We could make it look like an accident, though.”

  “What does Maverick think?” Cooper asks my dad as if he doesn’t know me well and needs a translator.

  “Well, boy, answer the man,” Dad says, smirking at his president’s tone.

  “Shouldn’t Colton be here for this planning session?”

  “I want to know what you’re thinking,” Cooper mutters, giving me a dark frown.

  “I think Colton needs to meet with the new mayor and put on the charm offensive. Explain how our business ventures have always been approved by the mayor. Bufford will blow him off and make a few threats. Colton needs to mention how he’ll ask you if maybe Pema isn’t worth the hassle.”

  Cooper gives me the patented “Johansson glare” in response to my idea. Refusing to react, I continue, “This mayor is likely high on his own self-importance right now. He’ll be quick to underestimate us. No doubt, he’ll view Colton as young and untested. While he thinks he has the upper hand, we get our plays set up.”

  “Killing him is still risky,” Vaughn says, and Judd gives a little head nod.

  “Not him. We kill his brother, the preacher. Do it publicly, too. That’s why Colton seeming weak or agreeable helps us. They’ll be too busy counting their cash to worry about what we’re planning.”

  “I don’t get why we target the preacher unless we make clear how we’re going after family,” Judd says, frowning at Vaughn as if my dad did a shitty job raising me.

  “How did this nobody businessman beat a crooked mayor?” I ask and then answer my question, “Money matters in small-town politics, right? What is Bufford’s income source?”

  “The church,” Cooper says, finally catching on.

  “If you rattle the purse strings, you’ll weaken the entire operation. Cosgrove’s power is from Idyllwild, not Pema. The two towns share a mayor and a police force. Your trouble is there, not in Pema.”

  “Think killing the preacher will be enough?”

  “No.”

  “Then, why not clean house like we did in Ellsberg?” Cooper asks.

  “Because you own Ellsberg. We’ve never had complete control over Pema, let alone Idyllwild. We ought to find out where every cop goes to church. Also, where the people working in the mayor’s office and the city hall attend. Idyllwild didn’t make this play overnight. They’ve been growing in power. They’ve squeezed out smaller churches, forcing the local people to worship at Idyllwild Church of Hope.”

  Recalling how Colton moved into an apartment, I doubt his parents are thrilled by this fact. Kirk Johansson grew up dirt poor and viewed ownership as a big step in life. Having Colton renti
ng can’t sit well with the family.

  “If you want to know why your boy can’t find a house around there, the church is the answer. Every home sale in Idyllwild goes through a committee. They pick and choose who gets to move up in the world. Kiss the ring, give your tithe, and you can live in a nice house with a better school. So, killing one guy won’t be enough. The problem is structural.”

  I run my index finger over a nick in the tabletop and imagine all the pieces in play in Pema.

  “They’re a criminal organization dressed up as a charity. Killing Amon throws them into disarray, creates a power vacuum, and allows us to get our shit in order before they can. But there will be blowback. They’ll test us, and Colton needs to play the smiling fool until he can weed out all the disloyal people and replace them with his own lackeys. Then, you can wipe out any remaining troublemakers. Plus, it’ll free up living space for our people to expand. Idyllwild is where the unused farmland is located. Imagine the commercial or residential investments. Hell, if we own enough of that area, we can put our own guy in the mayor’s seat and handpick the sheriff, too.”

  Cooper sizes me up for another minute and then turns off his asshole expression. “You’ve been planning this move to Shasta for a while.”

  “Since I knew Violet was mine. I checked out Conroe, too, but I didn’t want your sisters giving me shit.”

  “Who would?” he says, smiling easier now. “Colton is smarter than people think, but he’s gotten comfortable in Ellsberg. Now, he’s walking into a dangerous situation. Heidi can handle certain aspects, and he can handle others, but I think you’re a good fit for the areas they lack.”

  “The killing, you mean,” I say.

  “And the big picture. Colton likes people. Heidi likes money. You don’t give a shit about either. He’ll keep the men in line. She’ll keep the businesses in order. Your gift is the ability to see when to hit hard and when to let shit slide. Pema is on the edge of going sideways. If I knew about the church situation, I wouldn’t have been so keen on my boy moving there. Or I’d have set him up as someone’s VP to learn shit.”