Gentle On My Mind (Reapers MC: Pema Chapter Book 1)

by Bijou Hunter

  “Pema isn’t the Wild West,” I say, thinking Cooper’s daddy side is smothering his killer instinct. “It just needs to be viewed as half of a whole. The club that used to run Pema didn’t see Idyllwild as a threat or an opportunity. We came in and thought the same way. The money is in Pema, right? Except now, it’s not. We’ll take both towns, open up opportunities for us to expand in the future. There are too many Reapers in Ellsberg with nothing to do. But there’s no space for them in Pema right now, either. Once Idyllwild belongs to the club, you can send up more guys. In a decade, we can push toward Louisville. But it all starts with taking on that church.”

  Cooper’s smirk says he can picture the future I’m painting. Leaving the safety of Ellsberg was a risky move for the Reapers. South wasn’t an option with several organizations just on the other side of the Kentucky/Tennessee border. Pushing out moonshiners and crystal meth dealers was one thing, but we claimed territory belonging to other clubs. Killers killed their own kind. No harm, no foul in the eyes of most people.

  Except now, we’re taking on people using weaponized faith. Can’t talk shit about them, or we’re crapping on God. Ask too many questions, and we’re attacking the faith.

  But I learned long ago how everyone bleeds the same from the lowliest addict to the highest man of God. A bullet will end anyone, but not every problem. Killing the preacher can’t be ordered with the same ease as ending the life of a thieving dealer. It’ll take the precision and care my father taught me.

  Cooper must get the answers he wants because the conversation turns to my move. We discuss how I plan to buy an old firehouse and turn it into a duplex. Vaughn mentions Avery moving to Pema, which makes me think my sister isn’t talking in terms of maybe anymore.

  “Colton has fancy ideas about earning his big house,” Cooper says, giving a little eye roll. “He claims to be okay with the apartment, and I know Stella doesn’t care where they live. But I think Violet needs a place more permanent.” Proving he wants me to focus on Pema and the megachurch, he adds, “We’ll send whatever crews you need up to Pema to get your place finished fast. We can’t have you shacked up in an apartment for a year.”

  Cooper Johansson’s message is clear. He’ll offer whatever money and manpower I need to get my place ready for Violet. In exchange, I’ll help force Pema and Idyllwild to submit. Then, his only son can find success and safety away from Ellsberg.

  THE GHOST

  I’m worried Avery will rat me out to Maverick when he returns to the apartment. Even worse, Vaughn is with him. I can’t be a basket case around Maverick’s parents.

  “I’m staying overnight,” Vaughn tells Avery when he enters the apartment.

  “You can’t sleep on the couch. What about your middle-aged back?”

  Smirking behind his wind-blown blond hair, Vaughn leans back and grabs his hip. “It’s true I’m so old. However, I’m staying at River’s place, where they have beds and fancy shit like that.”

  Io warily watches Vaughn, even after her grandfather makes a silly face at her. “Your cousins are easier to impress.”

  Avery smiles proudly at her daughter. “You need to earn Io’s affections.”

  “Like mother, like daughter.”

  “So, why are you here, and where’s Mom?”

  “I’m allowed to do stuff without your mom,” Vaughn says and slides into the recliner before sighing dramatically. “She said so.”

  Ignoring Avery’s attempt to nag information out of their father, Maverick corners me in the kitchen.

  “You look bothered.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “I got ambushed by my father, Judd, and Cooper,” Maverick says as his fingers skate across my shoulders. “Like a job interview. Then, they said they’d help us get our home set up quickly. Cooper and Judd drove back to Ellsberg, but Dad’s staying until tomorrow and following Avery home.”

  “When can I see the place you have in mind?”

  “I’m afraid you won’t like it. Terrified really. I might cry,” he says, grinning at the thought before adding, “Internally only, of course.”

  “What’s wrong with it?”

  “It’s a firehouse.”

  Grinning, I can’t tell if he’s serious. “Like with a pole?”

  “No pole, but the building has high ceilings and brick interior walls. It’s right downtown, walking distance to coffee shops and restaurants. But it also has a back area we can fence in for a private yard. Nothing can be built behind the building since it backs up to a public park’s walking trails.”

  “And you can make it into a house?”

  “I was thinking of a duplex. One side for us, one for my family. Though Avery now wants it for her and Io.”

  Hearing her name, Maverick’s sister carries Io to where we stand in the kitchen.

  “I will be a good neighbor. I won’t drop by unannounced like I do here.”

  Maverick offers her a soft smile. “No.”

  “You have no choice. I already claimed it. If you try to keep me out, I’ll sneak in my stuff and squat there. If you throw us out, I’ll tell Io to cry over how her mean uncle made her homeless.”

  Io’s mouth turns downward, and she lets out a pained wail. I immediately assume she’s upset from earlier when I was going bananas. Now, I feel like wailing.

  Avery presses her baby against her chest and bounces gently. Vaughn watches us, probably wondering why we’re huddled away from him. Does he blame me for him feeling left out?

  “Would you like a drink?” I ask Vaughn while Io cries behind me.

  “A soda or juice would be fine. I’m heading over to River’s soon. Avery, are you coming?”

  “No, I like the apartment better.”

  “Why?”

  “Because,” she says, still bouncing a pouty Io.

  “Are you intimidated by your big brother?” Vaughn taunts while I hand him a Coke.

  “River takes Savannah’s side in arguments.”

  “And Maverick takes yours?”

  “No. He’s fucking Switzerland.”

  Io looks sadly at her mother, wanting something.

  “Did I upset her?” I ask, feeling dirty as if my crazy infected the room.

  “No,” Avery replies. “Not everything is about you, Violet.”

  Despite grinning at her wink, I still feel as if Io’s been in a weird mood since I got upset earlier.

  Avery sighs. “My baby’s an empath.”

  “Oh, here we go,” Vaughn says, leaning back in the recliner and closing his eyes.

  “Io senses people’s souls,” Avery continues, “and her grampa has a stinky one.”

  “I never did that kid wrong,” Vaughn mutters with his eyes still closed. “But she just doesn’t like me.”

  “It’s your soul, Daddy,” Avery says, going high-pitched for the last word. “You’re trying to be biscuits and gravy in flavor, but you’ve got the biscuits and gravy in cholesterol instead.”

  “Explain your gibberish,” Maverick insists as his fingers trace the seams of my shirt.

  “I don’t know,” Avery says, shrugging. “It just sounds dumb like something Savannah would say.”

  “So, when she isn’t around,” I blurt out, “you feel the need to insert what she would say into a conversation? Is that part of the twin contract?”

  Avery gasps dramatically. “Fried green tomatoes, Violet. How dare you point out my flaws and give me the vapors?”

  “That’s a yes,” Vaughn tells me while Avery sits on the couch with a still pouty Io.

  “Anyway, my little darling is so sensitive that she notices her grandfather’s negative vibes.”

  “I have none. I’m a hippie. All free love and groovy fun, baby.”

  Avery rolls her eyes. “You’re on edge, and she can sense it.”

  “Why doesn’t she sense it with Maverick?”

  “He’s too smooth.”

  Maverick grins at me, but I see him searching my expression for signs of trouble.

/>   Knowing he’ll find out anyway, I whisper, “I had a hiccup while you were gone.”

  “How bad?”

  “I don’t want to live in Shasta anymore. That’s all.”

  Maverick studies me for a moment longer while Avery coaxes a smile out of Io.

  “Do you need to go out tonight?” he asks, and I shake my head.

  “I just want to stay in and watch TV and maybe sleep early.”

  Maverick gets my message. Joining Vaughn at River’s place isn’t in the cards. I need to hide from the world and pretend it doesn’t exist for a while. River’s house is usually filled with people. I care about them all, and Shelby might even be there. Yet, I can’t pretend tonight. I need to cocoon myself in this safe place and ride through the emotional crap ready to overtake me.

  Maverick, no doubt, expected me to come down from the high of our trip. It’s also possible he craves a night home, too. Was the trip stressful for him? Meeting with Colton, showing off Pema to me, our first sexual experience, so much was riding on yesterday. I’m sure he felt pressure, but Maverick rarely shows his fears.

  Tonight, we can hide in the apartment, regroup, and prepare for the next step. And both of us know I’ll be sleeping alone in my bed tonight. I sense he might need his space as much as I do.

  Yes, we’re on the same page. That’s why I trust Maverick, and I will survive my ugly memories, our big move, and his need for secrets.

  THE CHAPTER WHERE THE SENTINEL’S INNER CHILD WINS

  THE SENTINEL

  When I drove through Pema months ago during a recon visit, this firehouse called out to me. These old brick buildings are rarely available for sale. With a little digging, I learned the city was more than willing to turn the property into a residential property. The building has sat empty for two years. Though I wanted to buy it months ago, the choice isn’t only mine.

  “I can see it,” Avery says as we stand on the firehouse’s wide driveway. “The size is there. We’ll break it up in the middle, redo the plumbing, add new floors and drywall.”

  “I want to keep as much interior brick as possible,” I say, worried my sister will turn the firehouse into a generic lump.

  “Don’t pull a muscle, kiddo,” she says and winks at me.

  Avery and I might be ready to seal the deal, but our partners are suspiciously silent. Io has the excuse of being a quiet child who just woke up from a car nap. Violet, though, seems confused.

  “I can’t see it,” she finally admits after I whisper if she’s okay. “Like how it’ll be a home.”

  “We’ll show you the designs,” Avery explains when I only frown. “You’ll be able to make it look like you want.”

  Though I wanted this place instantly, I knew deep inside how Violet wouldn’t. We grew up so differently. Her parents were dull traditionalists. My father is a laid-back killer, while my mom is a ballbusting hippie. I have a big, wild family. She grew up as an only child, living in a quiet house. I love when the train rolls past my apartment. The roar and shaking excite me. Yet, Violet looks ready to come out of her skin when it races by. I don’t know why I thought the firehouse idea would work.

  Accepting this particular dream of mine has flopped, I suggest, “We can check out the apartments where Cooper and Stella are living.”

  “How long will it take for this,” Violet asks, gesturing at the building, “to be finished? Would we need to stay in the apartment for a year?”

  Normally, I internalize my problems, figuring them out on my own. Yet, Avery’s future is also tied up with what happens today. I glance at my sister as Io dozes against her shoulder.

  “Let’s look around before we decide,” she suggests.

  Violet wears the same dread-filled expression as when she thinks someone recognizes her. I take her hand and follow Avery. Io’s head pops up when we walk through the small side door opened by the realtor. Inside, we find a large empty space once used for the fire trucks.

  “Two-story family room and kitchen,” Avery says, pointing at the ceiling for Io. “How many kids do you think you want?”

  “One or two,” Violet says and then whispers, “Or less.”

  “Why?” I ask as Avery walks toward the old kitchen in the back.

  “Upstairs was the bunking area for the firefighters. If you don’t want to create an entire second floor, you could probably fit a master and two smaller rooms with the current space. Maybe add a little office down behind the kitchen. Leave the character of the building intact but still make it comfortable.”

  “I can’t see it,” Violet says, her voice trembling. “Do you have pictures?”

  “Do you want to see it?” I ask while Avery gives us a little space.

  Violet stares into my eyes as if wanting to disappear inside me. “Yes. This could be cool, and it’s right downtown. But I can’t see what you’re seeing.”

  Exhaling with relief, I kiss her softly, lingering for longer than I should. “I love this place,” I whisper against her cheek. “But I can’t have you out of sorts.”

  “I lack the imagination to see it like you do.”

  I could mention how she believes her imagination is strong enough to create a whole new life. Except since our trip to Pema, I’ve noticed fewer “I might be dead” moments from her.

  Instead of discussing issues in front of the realtor, we leave the firehouse and check in at The Love Cave. Soon, we end up in my sister’s “Don Juan” room, where Io uses the king-sized bed to finish her nap.

  With her laptop’s design software, Avery puts together ideas. Watching her, Violet stares confused for the longest time. Then, Avery adds more details—a sleek kitchen, stained concrete floors, furniture, and pictures on the walls. The empty space begins to look like my apartment. Violet’s eyes widen the very moment when she can finally imagine herself in my dream home.

  Turning to me, she smiles softly. “Do you think it’ll be safe for Corky?”

  “In the back, we’ll install a high fence so he can run around without escaping.”

  Violet exhales deeply. “We’ll have the coolest house in town.”

  I catch Avery’s smile. My sister already sees herself in Pema. They’ll be out of our parents’ house, and Io can have her own bedroom.

  “From trains to fire trucks,” Violet teases, leaning against me now as her confidence returns. “You really are a little boy at heart.”

  “Yeah, but let’s keep that info on the down-low. Wouldn’t help my reputation.”

  Avery stands up from the table and glances at Io. “Watch my sweet darling while I go downstairs and enjoy a few moments to myself.”

  “Have at it,” I tell her before adding, “But watch your back. Pema isn’t conquered yet.”

  Avery reaches for her purse with her gun inside. Sneaking out of the room, my sister darts for freedom. Violet watches her go and then glances warily at Io.

  “That little girl will flip her snizz if she wakes up to find Avery gone.”

  “No doubt. Wherever Avery goes, Io must follow.”

  Violet falls silent while she looks at the designs still up on Avery’s laptop. “I don’t care if it takes a year to finish.”

  I enjoy the longing in her soft voice. Violet can see her future forming, and she needs to wrap herself in a hopeful blanket.

  “I wanted to be a fireman when I was little,” I tell her, and she instantly smiles. “For the longest time, I thought I would be. But my dreams were childish. I believed I’d live in the firehouse and have a Dalmatian for a pet.”

  “When did you realize you wouldn’t become a fireman?”

  “I don’t know. Ten, maybe? I remember being in the back seat of my mom’s Suburban, jammed against the door while a bitchy Nevaeh fought with a bitchier Cavalry. I looked outside the window, wishing I was away from them. Then, I saw my father riding by on his Harley. A few other men rode with him. Judd and Tucker, I think. My father signaled to them in this commanding way before turning toward us and giving a quick wave. My brothers an
d sisters freaked out as if they hadn’t only seen him a few hours earlier at home. Still, for me, that was when I knew I wanted to be an enforcer like my father.”

  Violet’s soft smile lingers as she reaches for my face. “In Pema, you’ll get to live in your firehouse and lead men like your father.”

  “But no Dalmatian,” I say and share her grin. “They’re high-maintenance animals, apparently.”

  We silently agree to keep our home dog-free. Our new life in Pema will be exciting enough without adding more critters, especially since our current one is always hoping to escape. Pets might not be our thing, but I’m a man in love with his life. I’ve finally won over my dream woman, and I’ll be sleeping in a firehouse next year.

  THE GHOST

  Maverick is restless in Pema like he never seems in Shasta. I realize I’m terrible at sensing danger. Even with the former motorcycle club crushed and Husband long dead, Shasta always feels wild to me. In contrast, Pema seems like a dull little farm town. I don’t even hear the roar of motorcycles common in Shasta. How small is the local club? Are they soft compared to the guys in Shasta? How different will Pema be after Maverick kills the people he considers a threat?

  “What are you thinking?” Maverick asks after I return from the bed area where Io sleeps.

  “What is Pema really like beyond the few streets I’ve seen?”

  “Rowdy, to be honest. But Heidi’s had her people locked down since the new mayor took over and while Colton’s settling in.”

  “It’s so quiet here,” I say, sitting closer to him on the golden velvet loveseat. “But that’s a bad thing, right?”

  “Not necessarily. Ellsberg is rowdier from the college kids than the Reapers, but the club’s presence is always felt. Most people grew up knowing the Johansson family controlled the town. Pema and the local club have never known such stability.”

  “And now they have you and Colton.”

  “Exactly. Heidi is smart, but she lacked the resources to push back against any threats coming from Louisville.”