Gentle On My Mind (Reapers MC: Pema Chapter Book 1)

by Bijou Hunter

  THE CHAPTER WHERE A NEW LIFE MEANS GOODBYE

  THE GHOST

  Returning to Shasta doesn’t sting as badly the second time. I can imagine my home with Maverick. Avery and I bonded more. Io continues to warm up to me. The four of us will live in a renovated firehouse. How fucking cool will that be? My parents never would have imagined something so clever. I’m living a fun new life with Maverick Majors. I don’t have to cling to the past. I’m not dead. This isn’t purgatory.

  Of course, returning to Shasta still stirs up worries. Leaving Shelby Campbell is bound to cause a scar that’ll never heal. When she and I share a room, I feel at home. But our lives are on different paths. Shasta wasn’t her first choice of a home, but she created a fulfilling life here. And now her son will join the family.

  Caen takes after his giant father, so Shelby’s doctor schedules a C-section to avoid the baby getting stuck on his way out. I’m not particularly worried about her giving birth. Shelby remained nonchalant when Kirby was born.

  I show up at the hospital with Maverick a half hour after the start of the C-section. We sit in the crowded waiting room, excited to meet Shelby’s son and final child. She’ll get fixed during the surgery.

  “What if I wanted eight kids?” I whisper to Maverick while we wait.

  He flashes an “Are you fucking nuts?” look, which makes me smile. “No, not eight.”

  “River wants three, so he can defeat Shane’s two.”

  “That’s why he’s a dingus. I want as many kids as feels right. If that’s none, fine. If that’s less than eight. Okay.”

  “But never eight.”

  “Never.”

  Giving him an approving smile, I look around the room. Across from us, Shane and River hassle each other, looking ready to roughhouse. Max sits patiently next to her husband, relaxed after leaving their kids at home with her mom. Ramona and Shane sit with their boys—Iggy and Ozzy—drawing in coloring books. Holding her blond son, Taylor is itching to see Shelby. I smile at how protective she is of her best friend. I catch Shane glancing up at any noise. He loves his sister so much. Their parents—Dylan and Winnie—entertain Kirby during the wait.

  These people are tight-knit in a way that I know will never fray. I’ll need to remember Shelby’s strong support system when guilt hits me hard in the future.

  My surrogate mother is the main reason I’m not a basket case. She also taught me to call my bad periods “going bananas” rather than anything negative like “crazy” or “insane.” She claimed words have power. Going bananas doesn’t sound like the end of the world, and me having a shitty day shouldn’t be labeled that way. Shelby swears everyone goes bananas in their heads from time to time. I’m not a freak or bad. I just need to learn my triggers like everyone else.

  Without Shelby’s love, I’d never be strong enough to make a life with Maverick. Many people had a hand in saving me, but she’s the person who helped keep my head above water. She also encouraged me to be anyone I wanted.

  And after my last trip to Pema, I hope to be a tough chick like Avery. For a year, I’ve hated having anyone think I was Maverick’s sister. Now, I want nothing more than to be like one of the Majors women.

  “Do you know how to roller-skate?” I ask Shelby as we sit in her hospital room while Dean takes Kirby for a walk.

  “Not well,” she says and smiles down at her big baby boy cuddled in her arms. “I grew up skating but was never any good. I blame my bubble butt and luscious tits.”

  Smiling, I lean closer to look at Caen. “I want to learn to skate.”

  “Because of the Majors family?” Shelby asks, knowing me too well.

  “Avery said something about starting a roller derby team in Pema. She was mostly fucking with Heidi, but I think it would be fun.”

  “You’d get banged up.”

  Shrugging, I keep my tone light. “Training with Maverick makes me feel tougher. Less afraid of pain and more willing to face things. I think getting banged up doing a fun thing will make those old memories less traumatic.”

  Even tired after her surgery, Shelby doesn’t dismiss my idea. “I don’t know about Pema, but when you’re here, you can practice skating in the parking lot behind your apartment. Just wear all the pads and a helmet. Oh, and mouthguard.”

  Smiling, I know I’ve told Shelby these words hundreds of times, but they’ll always be true. “You’re an amazing mom.”

  “I haven’t cried at all today,” she says as tears fill her hazel eyes. “But you got me with that.”

  “I’m sorry. You’ve always had a great mom, so maybe you don’t feel the need to announce how awesome she is all the time.”

  “And yet I still do,” Shelby says, wiping her wet eyes. “I’m going to be okay with you being gone. I won’t make you feel guilty. But only on a few conditions.”

  “I’m sure they’ll all be very reasonable.”

  Shelby grins before listing her conditions, “You message me every morning and night. We speak at least once a day, and you visit every month. When Caen is older, and that slut hotel is cleaned up, I’ll visit you, too. Deal?”

  Nodding, I want nothing more than to climb into bed with her and enjoy Shelby’s wonderful affection. But I’m a little big for that, she’s sore from the surgery, and Caen should get his mom to himself for a while longer. After all, Kirby isn’t sure what to make of her little brother. She’ll certainly be reclaiming her mother’s lap soon.

  Unable to cuddle, I hold her hand and sit quietly while she admires her baby. I memorize everything about this moment. I know people move all the time. Kids grow up and leave town for college. Parents have their own lives. They keep in touch. This is all very normal.

  Even so, I’ll miss having Shelby only minutes away if I’m in a bad place. Skype doesn’t allow for hugs, and she gives the best ones.

  “What do you need?” Maverick asks once I leave Dean alone with his wife and son after Kirby goes home with her grandparents.

  Wrapping my arms around him, I don’t know what’ll soothe my already homesick heart. “One day, Caen and Kirby will visit us in our firehouse and think it’s the coolest thing. I plan to focus on that idea rather than how much it’ll hurt when I can’t see Shelby every day.”

  Maverick doesn’t waste time with reassuring words. I don’t need them. I’m aware of what needs to happen and why. Moving to Pema isn’t a punishment. I’m excited to go. But nothing worth having is free, and the cost is Shelby’s arms around me every day.

  THE CHAPTER WHERE PEMA IS UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

  THE SENTINEL

  My heart beats like everyone else’s. I’m not made out of stone. I have feelings. Just maybe not as many as other people, and the ones I have don’t slow me down like the average person. But my cool exterior is tested during my first week in Pema.

  Violet cries a lot, and I’m unaccustomed to her tears. She’s usually calm, angry, or completely bananas. Her quiet crying throws me off. I’m unsure if I can leave her alone when she acts this way.

  “I miss Shelby,” Violet tells me. “I don’t know who I am here.”

  I only stare at her when she says these words, which she shares more than once. Each time, I’m unsure if her new fears are an improvement over when she thought she was dead.

  On the third day of our new life in Pema, I need to leave to start work on the firehouse, but Violet’s tears linger all morning. Avery joins me in the lobby as I watch Violet crying in the adjacent dining area. We’re both dealing with unhappy partners.

  “I’ll watch out for her,” Avery says as she holds her mopey lady. “Today, I’m only working on potential redesign ideas. A creative day will allow me time to soothe our delicate ladies.”

  Wearing a pout, Io looks at me as if I’ve ruined her life. She absolutely hates living in the hotel. I think mostly she misses my parents’ farmhouse and her gramma and the auntie who looks just like her favorite person. Oh, and she was nuts for her cousin, Pollux. Yeah, moving here really did ruin her
little life.

  “Pig!” the child screams, breaking into tears as she thinks of my parents’ pets.

  Avery smiles reassuringly at me. “I’ve got this, little brother. I am the picture of serenity.”

  Before leaving to work on the firehouse, I look back at my calm sister, depressed love, and weepy niece. Then, I reach down to grab Corky before he can run out the front door. Violet takes the cat from me and then stares sadly.

  “I left my heart in Shasta.”

  Again, I don’t know what to say. Avery takes Violet’s hand and tells me to go start fixing our future home.

  After leaving the hotel, I arrive at the worksite before the first crew but still find a tricked-out SUV parked in the driveway. I recognize the license plate and text Colton before climbing off my Harley.

  “Can I help you?” I ask the newly elected mayor, Bufford Cosgrove, once he exits his vehicle.

  The slick-looking asshole flashes me a veneer-perfect smile. I don’t mimic him. I give my family’s patented blank stare. River can’t help playing up the nice guy routine, and Sylvie can’t seem to hide her aggressive dickishness. But the rest of the Majors kids can go blank stare with ease.

  Bufford keeps smiling, but I spot his unease. He’s accustomed to the faux warmth of small-town folks. I’m not doing that shit.

  “I’m Mayor Cosgrove, but Bufford is fine,” he says and runs a hand over his slicked-back brown hair.

  “I know who you are.”

  “And I’m familiar with you. Can’t help noticing a businessman taking such an interest in our small enclave.”

  I don’t respond. If he wants to play these friendly games, he should be chatting with Colton, who visited him days earlier.

  “Big project,” Bufford says, struggling to keep his casual tone under the weight of my disinterest.

  “My crew will be here soon.”

  “That’s why I’m here. There’s been hesitation over the final approval.”

  “We already received it.”

  “There’s some discussion over whether residential is the best use for this space.”

  A lesser man—like Colton Johansson—would officially lose his shit in this situation. Here I am, minutes away from starting on my dream home, and this fucker wants to put on the brakes. Even without a mirror, I know my face shows no reaction. I used to practice as a kid. When my sisters annoyed me, I remained unflappable. That shit didn’t come naturally. I trained my face to behave.

  Even angry, I’m calm inside. Only death is final. Everything else in life can be maneuvered.

  “Is this sudden hesitancy because of the town’s new mayor?” I ask in a chilly voice.

  “I’m the new mayor.”

  “I know.”

  “Well, the city council isn’t sure about the issue.”

  “They were fine with the project before you were sworn in. It’s okay for you to admit you’re the one with the concerns. I won’t fly off the handle and beat you to death with a crowbar. We’re just men talking.”

  If Colton said those words, they would sound like a threat. The motherfucker acts like a big dumb kid, just until his temper kicks in.

  But Bufford isn’t dealing with Colton. I’m the guy they don’t know much about. The scary one who doesn’t smile and just casually mentioned a crowbar.

  “I have a vision for Pema,” Bufford says once he regains control of himself. “And a duplex downtown goes against my plans for this town.”

  “I bought this property with the understanding that it would be residential. I wouldn’t have purchased it otherwise. The realtor knew this fact, as did the city council. They wanted the abandoned building sold. They signed off on the sale. These are indisputable facts any court would understand.”

  “Are you threatening to sue?”

  “I’m not threatening to do anything. In fact, I’m patient. The former mayor seemed agreeable to the purchase. If he were to regain his job, I’m sure he would approve it.”

  “But I’m mayor.”

  “For now. There are other elections, and I’m patient. I’ll wait to see if you have the job in the future.”

  “I feel as if you’re threatening me,” he says in a harder tone that alerts his men in the SUV to get out and stand around looking intimidating.

  “Life is full of danger, Bufford. You didn’t get to your powerful position without understanding something so basic. And I knew there were risks involved with investing in Pema. That’s why I’ll remain patient if the deal is put on hold. You might lose reelection. Your heart could give out while you’re taking a jog. Your car might hit black ice. Or perhaps you might resign after a big scandal. Life is full of possibilities. I’m willing to roll the dice and see if you’re still around in a few years. Until then, I have contingency plans.”

  “Now, I know you’re threatening me.”

  Without missing a beat, I say, “Call the police and explain how I suggested that a man with your build might suffer a heart attack. I don’t mind explaining to them the situation. Once again, I’m a patient man.”

  “I know about you.”

  “I know about you, too. Your success against the longtime mayor was exciting news. My business partners are looking forward to working with you in the future. But then again, life is unpredictable.”

  Bufford realizes he’s in over his head. I already knew he wasn’t the brains in the Cosgrove family. His brother is the leader, but Amon’s wife and mother-in-law are also players. Bufford ran for mayor rather than another family member out of necessity. The Idyllwild Church of Hope preaches a very specific doctrine for its women members. Having one of them become the mayor wasn’t an option. So, old Bufford got the job. I’m certain they’ll soon regret that decision.

  “I’m sure you’re cold,” I say as the dumb-shit shivers. “Why don’t you hand over the legal injunction, and I’ll let my crew know we won’t start work today?”

  The frowning idiot just now realized how his word isn’t enough to stop this project. He needs to go through channels. If he had done so before talking to me, he would know the city can’t stop work without something legally binding. I make a mental note of how the Cosgrove family doesn’t understand the government they want to control. That’ll make the Reapers’ jobs easier.

  “I’ll get back to you,” he says, shuffling backward.

  “Until I see something legally binding, I’ll assume this was a misunderstanding.”

  Bufford isn’t a flat-out moron, which is best. He might even get in line once I kill his brother. Truly dumb people are impossible to maneuver. They just can’t follow new orders. Those types need to die. But Bufford might be manageable under the right circumstances. I’d rather control the church behind the scenes than have to dismantle it completely. But that decision will be up to Colton.

  After Bufford speeds away with his local goons, I head into the building. Standing alone, I enjoy the vibe of this old firehouse. I imagine large red trucks parked right where my family-and-dining-room combo will be located. I can hear the alarms blaring when a call came in and the sirens when they left this station. Knowing this place will one day be my home fills me with the sort of silly glee I’m usually incapable of.

  Then, I have to shelve my childlike fantasies and focus on the huge job ahead of me. We won’t have much time to get work done before the weather makes many projects impossible. Cooper is sending crews up from Ellsberg, Conroe, and Shasta. Many of them will be staying for days at a time. I’m the one who needs to organize their time and ensure we remain on schedule. I ought to feel burdened, but solving problems is always the same.

  Pick my priorities, work through the major issues, and then worry about the smaller things. I even used this technique to win over Violet. I paced myself, visiting her every day for a certain amount of time. I slowly extended our encounters. Even if she seemed like she wished for more time together, I remained on track. Then, we moved to outings with our friends. Each time, I reduced the people around us until we were
alone.

  Now, Violet’s mine. This project will be tackled in the same way. As will the Idyllwild issue. Putting together any puzzle starts by connecting only a few pieces.

  When the crews begin to arrive, I give each of them their projects for that day, this week, and the upcoming one. Colton joins us, asks about Bufford, and quickly understands it’s an issue we’ll discuss later.

  I’ve got everything under control. Well, until I get a “HELP” message from Avery just before lunch.

  I assume the worst. The hotel is less than five minutes from the station, so I don’t waste time messaging her back before I head over. In the parking lot, I find a familiar burgundy velvet Ford Expedition next to Avery’s blue metallic version.

  I realize instantly what my sister’s call for help was about. Now, I wish I stayed at the firehouse. Since I’m already here, I decide to check on Violet and have lunch together. Might as well get the drama out of the way first.

  I unlock and open the front door of the hotel to find quiet. Once I scoop up Corky on his latest escape attempt, I lock the door behind me. The cat instantly wants down and darts toward the kitchen, where music plays.

  I walk into the room to find Io sitting in a corner with their toys. Pollux waves at me, smiling big. Io gives me her resting bitch face before returning to playing with one of the few kids who doesn’t rile her up.

  Violet sits next to them, her head leaning against the wall, eyes closed, and toes tapping to the music playing overhead. Nearby, blond and tanned Bjorn types furiously in his phone before giving me the same smile as his kid. Nothing seems out of place.

  But I feel them coming, like raptors working as a pack to destroy their prey. Avery appears from my right, and Savannah emerges from my left.