Give Me A Reason

by Jennifer Miller

  “I sure am. How’d you guess?”

  “Just a hunch. My name is Chris, what’s yours, gorgeous?”

  “Uh, no. Not happening. Her name is none of your business. I’m Oliver though, would you like to meet me?”

  I didn’t even hear him approach. He’s standing there with his hands on his hips and even though he’s got sunglasses covering his eyes, I know he’s staring down my new wannabe friend, Chris.

  “Hi, Oliver. I was just-”

  “Oh, I know what you were ‘just’. You can leave now.” Oliver puts his arm around my shoulders and I’m too shocked to say a word as I watch Chris walk away. When I come to my senses I smack Oliver on the chest.

  “What was that?”

  “What?”

  “Don’t ‘what’ me. You know exactly what I mean.”

  “I’m not about to let some dude you don’t know try to hit on you. No way. Chris over there probably has gonorrhea or herpes and is looking to share.”

  “You’re being ridiculous. I can handle myself.”

  “I know you can, but you don’t need to because I’m here.”

  “Well, thank goodness for that,” I roll my eyes.

  “Give me your sunglasses,” he instructs and I hand them over as I see him remove his own. “Wait here.” He jogs back to our cabana and places them down, then returns and holds out a hand to me, “Come on.”

  Shading the sun from my eyes with my hand, I look at him blankly, “Why?”

  “We’re going to take a dip in the water.”

  I look at the water and him then the water again, “Um, I don’t know. I already went out a little bit. I’m good.”

  “What do you mean you don’t know? You didn’t think you could come to the ocean for the first time and only put your feet in did you?”

  “Well, maybe.”

  “No way, sunshine.”

  “Well, I can if I want.” When his hands comically find his hips and he stares at me in disbelief I cross my arms over my chest. “What if there are sharks in there?”

  “Well it’s a huge ocean, there are sharks in there. I can guarantee it.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  He looks from one side to the other, his eyes looking over all the people currently swimming in the ocean – shark free. “I don’t see anyone screaming.”

  “That’s not funny.”

  “Come on, we’re doing this.”

  He takes my hand and begins pulling me out further. “I’ll go in to my knees, okay? How’s that?”

  “Nope. Not good enough.”

  “What if there are fish and one of them bites me?”

  His response is to look at me like I’m crazy. He doesn’t say a word.

  When my calves are in the water, I sigh at the feeling. The water is cool, but not cold. The water combined with the sun on my shoulders makes me smile. Oliver seeing it tugs my hand to pull me out further, but I dig my feet in and don’t move. He looks at me and I shrug trying to give my best, ‘Yeah, I know I’m crazy – what can you do?’ look but he’s not having it. Before I can blink he’s got me thrown over his shoulder and is marching further into the surf.

  When I finally find my voice I use it, “Oliver! Don’t you dare!”

  “Oh, I dare. I definitely dare.”

  With a loud laugh he runs as far as he can before a wave takes us both down. Popping up as soon as I can, I know my eyes are wide and I’m blinking like crazy to remove the water from my eyes. He, of course, looks gorgeous. Water dripping down his skin, hair already slicked back. He takes in my expression and laughs.

  “Come on!” Taking my hand again, he pulls me out to where we can still stand and the waves move like rolls that we can jump and move with as opposed to having them crash into us. It’s a feeling I’ve never felt before - the sand under my feet and between my toes and the water surrounding me. I laugh. It’s pure and utter joy. I can’t help it.

  Leaning back, I move into a back float and spread my arms wide then stare into the sky and smile. Oliver appears over the top of me smiling down into my face. His hands find my back and he stays next to me, his touch making me know he’s with me, while I float. Enjoying the muted sound the water in my ears creates; I let it metaphorically shut out everything else. All emotions, all fears, all worries. I close my eyes, I feel the sun on my face, I enjoy the water moving around me, the man next to me.

  I let myself relax. I tell myself to let go. I simply live in the moment.

  “Did you see that?” Oliver runs from the shore back toward me where I’m standing in the water with a drink in my hand. The smile on his face is so large and gorgeous that I can’t find words to answer. Finally managing a nod, I laugh when he shakes his head like a dog when he reaches me. “I want you to try it with me, okay?”

  “Alright.”

  He moves behind me and my breath catches as his fingertips run down my arms while he talks, “It’s all about the timing. You have to wait until just the right moment. When the top of the wave is the whitest, when the body is transparent just before it crests and begins to fall over the top. That is when you get into position, dunk under the water, so you can ride it to shore. Does that make sense?”

  “Yes.” My voice sounds scratchy.

  He pulls me further out into the water, then gets behind me again and raises my arms over my head, putting the inside of my elbows at my ears and I press my hands together to form a point. I almost laugh. I remember standing just like this when I was in swim lessons at our local YMCA when I learned how to dive. My instructor would have me stand at the side of the pool, toes hanging over the edge. I’d put my arms in this position and she’d instruct me to bend forward until my arms went into the pool first, my body following. For a moment I feel like I’m seven years old again. Oh how I wish once again that my biggest worries were where I last left my crayons and keeping my stuff picked up to make my mom happy.

  Oliver moves to stand next to me and I do giggle this time when he stands like me. He smiles, “Get ready!” He faces forward, but his head is turned so he can see the wave. “Okay… now!”

  I’m a couple seconds behind him. I see him go under the water first, flat on his belly. I do the same and instead of the wave rolling under me like when I was floating, this time it’s as if I become part of the wave itself and it propels me forward. My body speeds through the water and I do my best to resist the urge to fight against it, instead letting myself relax and going with the flow. When I feel sand at my belly, I stand gasping for breath, then laugh out loud.

  “I did it!”

  Oliver rushes to me and spins me around, “You did!”

  “That was a rush. The power of the water… it’s amazing.”

  “I told you that body surfing was fun. I still remember my dad teaching me how to do it. Truth is, I’m not sure who liked it more, me or him.”

  “Let’s do it again!”

  “Maybe next I can get you on a surfboard,” we begin walking further into the water once more.

  “I’m not sure about that,” I laugh.

  I have no idea how long we stay out in the water and let wave after wave push us to shore. When I’m tired and my bones feel heavy, I finally tell Oliver I’m ready for a break.

  I didn’t realize how much the tide had pulled us away from our cabana until I looked for it and saw it far down the shore. It took us quite the walk to return to it. Deciding immediately we’re famished once more, we order food and drinks and wait impatiently for them to arrive.

  Later, as I’m shoveling another chip full of salsa into my mouth, I take a drink of my fourth… no maybe it’s fifth piña colada and decide to ask Oliver a question if he permits it. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  “First tell me if you’re feeling okay.”

  “I’m more than okay. I’m feeling damn skippy at the moment.”

  “Damn skippy?”

  “That’s what I said.”

  “You’re cute when you’re drunk.”


  Rolling my eyes makes him laugh. “I’m not drunk.”

  “Sure you’re not.”

  “Why do you think so?”

  “Because you’re slurring a little, giggling a lot and you never seek permission before asking me a personal question.” He takes a swig of his beer and squints at me, sunglasses resting on top of his head.

  “I’d roll my eyes at you again, but last time it felt like I might lose them up there.”

  “Well that would be a tragedy. I’d miss those gorgeous eyes of yours.” He smiles and the crinkles on either side of his eyes almost distract me.

  “Anyway, I was just trying to be polite.” I scoop guacamole onto my chip this time.

  He openly laughs at me, the jerk. “Of all the adjectives I’d use to describe you I’m not sure ‘polite’ would be one of them.”

  “Yeah well, I have a few choice adjectives for you of my own.”

  “Do you now?” He pops a chip into his mouth and I don’t think it’s fair that someone can look so good while they eat – while they do anything, really. It’s ridiculous. “Care to share?”

  “No. No, I don’t.”

  He just grins that infuriatingly sexy grin at me in reply to my answer. “Alright then, ask me whatever you want. And next time you don’t need to ask permission.”

  Hesitation makes me pause, but then maybe it’s the alcohol that makes me blurt, “I was wondering, what Justine thinks about the fact that you basically took off with barely a notice. The couple times I’ve met her she seems to…” I pause, not sure how to continue. Truth is she basically looks at me like a bug she wants to squash under her shoe. I guess I kind of understand. Oliver and I have been friends for years and to my chagrin, it’s never been more than that. But, seeing each other once a month for lunch or dinner meet up’s could hardly be threatening.

  “She seems to… what?”

  “I guess I would say that I’m under the distinct impression that she wouldn’t be thrilled with the fact you’re here with me.”

  Oliver looks out to the ocean and slides his sunglasses from the top of his head back over his eyes. When he looks back at me I wish I had the guts to take them off his face. It’s hard to decipher his face with them on. “She wasn’t exactly thrilled.”

  “Dammit, Oliver.” I set my drink on the table between us, “I don’t want to be the source of any problems between the two of you. Don’t get me wrong, this is… this is more than I could have dreamed. This place, spending time with you…”

  “What? You were going to say more and stopped. Tell me.”

  I look out to the ocean for a moment, then back at him when he says my name in question. “The truth is, I’ve missed you. We see each other monthly, but this is the first time in a long time that I feel… it feels…” I gesture between us helplessly, “That we’re…”

  “Closer? Kind of like old times? Like something you’ve been missing and you didn’t really realize how much until now.”

  “Yes. Exactly. I can’t say I’d do anything differently, but at the same time, I feel bad about it creating any problems too. I know how important she is to you.”

  “It doesn’t create a problem.”

  “But you just said she wasn’t happy.”

  “I know, and I meant it. She was downright angry. I mean, I can’t blame her. I basically told her what I was going to do, gave no warning, held no discussion, not even a reason other than I need to spend time with you.”

  “I can’t really blame how she feels then.”

  “Yeah, I guess, but when she started getting mad I realized that I don’t really care. Not about her anger and not about her.” He sighs, “That makes me sound like a douche, but it’s a fact. I just don’t care about her like I used to. Being so busy at work, the time we spent together was minimal so I didn’t realize it right away. Then when she told me to choose between you or her, well I was done,” he chuckles. “Clearly, you know my decision.”

  “Wait, you’re saying-“

  “I’m saying that Justine is a non-issue. She isn’t more important than you – never was. Don’t you know you’re the most important girl in my life?” His words and the look on his face make my stomach burn. I’d read into those words, but I know better. “I’ll always choose you. No question.”

  “I wouldn’t have asked you to do that.”

  “You didn’t. I don’t regret my decision at all. There wasn’t even a contest. Besides, there was far more to it than just that.”

  He stares at me and again I wish I could see those beautiful unique eyes of his. I’m not sure how long we stay like that, but we’re startled when the waitress returns and asks if we would like anything else.

  He orders us each a couple shots which really I should decline, but when is the last time I’ve indulged? I don’t even know. So we drink those shots, and a couple others. My head feels like it’s floating and I find I enjoy the feeling very much. I feel detached from any and all worries – and maybe my legs.

  “I would like to offer you a challenge should you choose to accept,” I smile mischievously making him raise an eyebrow.

  “What is it?”

  “I bet I can build a better sand castle than you.”

  “Oh, bring it!”

  I’m not sure why I offer the challenge. We have nothing but our hands to make anything, but when I laugh about that he says that it just makes the challenge better. I’m too focused on my own digging, stacking and piling that I don’t notice what Oliver is doing until after a bit he comes over and looks at my two perfect towers. Okay, perfect may be a stretch. One is already crumbling and the other is lopsided. I’m startled when suddenly he begins stomping all over my creation. “Hey! What are you doing? You’re cheating!”

  “I already won! Mine is better than yours!”

  Spinning around I look to where Oliver was working and begin to laugh when I see all he’s done is made a big blob that somehow manages to look phallic. “You call that better?”

  “Yep!”

  When I turn back to face him, a big blob of wet sand smacks me in the shoulder. “Oh no, you didn’t.”

  “What are you going to do about it?” His smile is full of challenge. I bend down to grab a handful of sand all the while he’s watching me with a look that tells me he’s not sure if I’ll throw it or not. I do.

  This turns into a wet sand slinging war. “Score!” Oliver screams when a wet blob lands right in my stomach. I return the favor by landing one to his forehead, which makes me fall to the ground laughing at the look of complete shock on his face. He joins me and we laugh until our sides ache. I roll toward him and he to me and we smile ear to ear at each other. He reaches out a sandy hand and tucks some strands of hair behind my ear that fell from my bun. “That was fun.”

  “The entire day has been a lot of fun.” This close to him I can see some freckles that have come out to greet the sun today. It’s endearing and I can’t help but brush a finger down his nose. “You have some new freckles.”

  He smiles in a way that makes me catch my breath. His hand reaches toward my face and his thumb caresses my cheek, “So do you.”

  We stare at each other for a moment and I swear he moves closer to me and I’m trapped in his gaze and the question of what he’s about to do. Whatever it is, it doesn’t happen because we’re startled apart by a Frisbee landing right between us and spraying even more sand on us at impact.

  Oliver returns the Frisbee and I stand and look down at myself. “I need to wash all of this off of me.”

  “I think I’m ready to go back to the room, are you? We’ve gotten a lot of sun today.”

  “I think that’s a good idea. A shower sounds great right about now.”

  “There are showers on our way back, we can use those so we can get the salt water off of ourselves too.”

  “Perfect.”

  When we walk back to our cabana we see our last shots the waitress brought us. I look at mine hesitantly, but when Oliver raises his glass t
oward me, “Cheers to a great first day,” I pick up mine and clink my glass with his before shooting it back.

  I gather my belongings into my bag, swing it up and over my shoulder and almost fall over when the momentum makes me lose my balance. I laugh, but Oliver takes the bag from me, “Are you alright?”

  “I’m great!” I tell him gleefully.

  “Oh man, I knew we went overboard with the drinks. I should have been more careful. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not. I feel awesome.” I squeeze my bottom lip between my finger, “I can’t feel my mouth.”

  Oliver laughs, “Come on, sunshine. A cold shower will do you some good.”

  When we get to the showers, every single one is taken and there are people waiting. “I bet there are some on the other side of the hotel too since you can exit the beach from there as well,” Oliver tells me quietly. “Let’s go to them instead.”

  I nod and we begin to walk the back way to our room expecting to enjoy the showers on our way. “Seems that everyone has decided to pack it up for the day.”

  “I guess so,” he says and then stops. We’re behind the hotel, but there isn’t a shower in sight. There’s no one really back here at all. There’s only one large marble fountain. A mermaid sits proudly at the top and water spouts up from under her making it look as if she’s sitting on top of the water before it falls to the bottom. “Well, it appears that I’m wrong. The only water back here is that,” he gestures to the fountain.”

  “Well that won’t work.” I look down at myself and do my best to start wiping sand off of me with my hands thinking I may have to go through the resort like this as I’m not sure I can make it all the way back to the other side. I can always just rinse off in the room. I hate the thought of tracking in sand, though, I suppose when you’re at the beach that’s par for the course.

  “Or will it?”

  I’m too busy slapping sand off of me and not sure my head is processing anything quite like usual to realize what Oliver said, but when I look up and see he’s placed our things on the ground and is currently getting inside the fountain I gasp and then laugh. “Oliver!”

  “It’s not my fault they don’t have showers back here. I figure this will work just as well.”