Six Years Gone (Gone #1)

by Jessica Gouin

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” This is kind of fun. I’m beginning to see what the technology obsession is all about.

  “I saw you being yanked into Mr. Tanner’s classroom today, and I think I know who did the yanking. So, I’m guessing you will be seeing each other again. Is that when he gave you the phone? I can’t believe you accepted a phone but lost your shit because he filled your tank.”

  “Yeah, well, I didn’t want to take the phone, but his argument was pretty convincing.”

  Even though I don’t like the thought of people knowing Lachlan and I are... well…whatever we are, Sloane’s not just anyone. She’s the sister I never had. I tell her everything, and I don’t think I could stop even if I wanted to. She’s the only one in this world who wouldn’t judge me, and I know this because she never has.

  “So, am I special enough to blow up your cell, too, or what?” She extends her hand to me with her phone on her palm. I laugh, snatch it to program my number, and toss it back to her.

  “There, you have my number for when I don’t answer your calls and ignore your texts.”

  “Wow. Sawyer Matthews with a cell phone. There must be pigs flying somewhere.” Sloane examines me with narrowed eyes, her mouth a white line. “Something about him makes you different. I haven’t decided if it’s good or bad yet. I’m leaning toward good, though.”

  Later that night, I lay awake again, trying to make sense of the clusterfuck which is my life, when my new phone buzzes on my nightstand. I assume it’s Sloane. She has tried to talk me into getting a phone for years, and I have no doubt she’s going to make up for the lost time. She already sent me fourteen texts.

  Someone else’s name pops up on the display, and it makes me smile.

  “Hey, Noah.”

  Laughter erupts on the other side of the line. “What did you just call me?”

  “I programmed your number under the name Noah. I thought you might like it.”

  “I love it. I can’t believe I told you such an embarrassing story about me.” His voice is hoarse and smoldering in his thick accent in a way I haven’t heard before. It’s as if twilight intensifies his sexiness.

  Okay, so this phone thing was definitely a good idea. Snuggling into the sheets, I get comfortable. Talking on our house phone while sitting at the kitchen table doesn’t have the same effect as this does.

  I ask how practice went and we spend the next few hours talking about nothing and everything. I tell him about my dad and how he left us all behind and ran from Woodsview when I was ten years old. How desperate Owen and I are to get away from this cursed house as soon as I graduate high school.

  Lachlan tells me about growing up in Australia. Normal childhood until his father’s secret life of gambling turned everything to shit for him. Then he came here to live with his aunt and uncle.

  Talking to each other in the darkness of our rooms gives the illusion he’s right beside me.

  Neither of us realize how late it is until my phone interrupts us, beeping with its need to be charged. Maybe we are crazy for keeping each other a secret, but I can’t remember the last time I felt this blissful.

  It’s a new type of drug.

  And I’m getting addicted fast.

  Chapter TWELVE

  Lachlan

  The weekend won’t come soon enough. I’m dying to spend more time with Sawyer. I have every minute planned out. I’ll drive to her house and pick her up, grab some coffee, and head to Newport. Since she’s never been before, I want us to take our time. I can’t wait to show her everything and see one of my favorite places in the world through her fresh eyes. I want us to walk the Newport Pier and eat lunch before we get in the water. She’s going to love the feeling of bodyboarding.

  I hope it makes her feel alive.

  After practice on Thursday, my phone chimes. Sawyer’s brother had to use the car, and she needs a ride home from work.

  It surprises me she’s actually asking me to drive her home, but then again, she works at the ranch on the outskirts of town. Not a very high-traffic area for people from our high school, so chances are slim anyone will see us together.

  Sawyer turns to face me when I pull into her driveway. “Thanks again for the ride. I sent a text to Sloane, but she got caught up with something.”

  “Anytime, angel. Are you excited for this weekend?”

  “You seriously need to stop with the angel crap. And, I have no reason to be excited for this weekend. I don’t have anything special planned….”

  My stomachs hurts for all of one second before her confused face transforms into a joking one and I let out a breath of relief.

  “Ha-ha, funny girl. You just better be ready when I come steal you for the day.”

  She shuffles toward me, and I close my eyes. Her full lips cover mine, and when she tries to pull away, I hold the back of her head in place. She doesn’t fight, so I trace her lips with my tongue. Her moan vibrates my entire body. I slip my tongue inside her mouth, tasting her.

  It’s fucking heaven.

  She leans even closer as I work my mouth against hers. Her hands lock in my hair, and she gives a little tug, driving me insane. I slide my hand from her leg, up her side to the bottom hem of her shirt. My hand sneaks under to her ridiculously soft skin as I trace circles on the small of her back.

  I remember we’re sitting in her driveway, and her very large brother could be watching us from inside her house, so I reluctantly break our kiss. Her mouth is rosy, and she’s breathing heavy.

  “I cannot wait to do more of that this weekend.”

  She nods in agreement, smiles, pecks my lips once more, then leaves.

  My head is spinning with all thoughts Sawyer. I shift in my seat to reposition myself then reverse the car and head home.

  A few minutes later, my phone chimes but the sound is different. I look over to the passenger seat and realize why I don’t recognize the tone. It’s not my phone. It’s Sawyer’s. The thought of getting to see her face once more tonight makes me smirk as I signal to turn around and drive back to her house. If she was any other girl, I would have thought she played that game where she leaves her phone on purpose to see me again. But this is Sawyer Mathews. She genuinely forgot it.

  I debate honking the horn when I pull into her drive for one reason—I’m still afraid her brother saw us—but decide against it and get out of the car.

  Just as I’m about to knock, I notice the door is open. I lightly push it farther, revealing her living room.

  Where I have an exceptional view of Sawyer.

  With her face pressed against someone else’s.

  For a harrowing moment, it doesn’t actually register I’m seeing Sawyer kissing some other guy. We never had a talk about exclusivity, but I’m pretty sure it was implied. Well, I thought it was implied. Even if it wasn’t, I literally just picked her up from work and dropped her off at home. Not even ten minutes later she has this random guy in her house with his paws all over her.

  I have no words, so I clear my throat to get her attention.

  She tenses, and the two of them separate to look at me.

  “Sawyer?” I squint at her, still unable to believe the sight in front me. My stomach rolls at the thought of what would have conspired had I not been here. “What the hell is going on?”

  “This guy?” The person standing in front of her snickers. “You’re choosing this guy over me?”

  I wasn’t aware she had other options she was considering. My jaw clenches when I realize this guy isn’t random. It’s the guy I saw her with at the diamond the other day. The guy that grabbed her arm. The one I’m pretty sure is her ex. “Sawyer, I’m serious. Who the fuck is this?”

  She cowers almost apologetically. Like she’s sorry she was caught, maybe. “Umm, this is my ex-boyfriend, Drew. He came by to tell me something, and he’s leaving.”

  Her eyes narrow at this Drew guy. Absolutely nothing is explained. I still don’t know the reason my girlfriend, or whatever
the hell she is, and her ex-boyfriend were going at it a minute ago. Thoughts of everything I don’t know about her drown me. Sawyer had been becoming so familiar to me. Standing here though, I feel like we’re worlds apart again with a thug ex-boyfriend wedged in between.

  Drew turns from Sawyer and sways in my direction. It’s clear he’s not sober, and my need to protect her kicks into overdrive. “I’m her boyfriend. You can leave, pretty boy.”

  My focus flickers from the obviously drunken douche to her, and she pales. “Drew, you’re not my boyfriend. We broke up months ago, and you’re the one who needs to leave.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  I’ve had enough of this shit. “Get the fuck out of this house,” I shout at the punk and grab his arm. If he doesn’t leave willingly, I’ll make him go. I’ve dealt with guys like this back home. They think they’re badass and can do whatever they want. Maybe that was the case for him before, but now I’m in Sawyer’s life, and when she tells him to go, he goes.

  Drew jerks his arm free. His reflexes are surprising, considering he reeks like a brewery.

  Red.

  It’s the only color I see as this asshole moves toward me, his face just one inch from mine.

  “Don’t put your fucking hands on me. You don’t know me. You have no idea what I could do to you.” His entire body shakes with anger, causing veins in his neck to jut out. I can only image what we look like to Sawyer, but I’d bet my life my position mirrors his, because I’ve never wanted to make someone bleed so badly.

  “Drew!” Sawyer shouts from behind him. “Just please leave!”

  He doesn’t blink as he steps past me toward the door, never looking back to Sawyer. When he leaves the house, he doesn’t close the door behind him.

  Eventually he disappears into the darkness, then I face Sawyer who looks like she’s about to be sick—which is exactly the way I feel. “You okay?”

  She nods, but I know she’s lying. “He stormed in here and…. I don’t even know why he was here, Lachlan. He’s never done anything like this before. I haven’t even talked to him since the afternoon at the diamond. He said he was going out of town for a bit. I’m so sorry.”

  Sorry.

  One word is all she needs to confirm her guilt. Maybe she didn’t know he was coming, but it doesn’t excuse his mouth on hers. I lob her cell phone onto the couch behind her. “Me, too.”

  The emotions playing on her face are numerous. One right after another; fear, sadness, pain, vulnerability. Each one enrages me as much as it guts me. I can’t stay in this room any longer to see her face this way, or listen to any explanations she may try to offer. Distance is what I need, and I need it immediately.

  I turn to leave, and she doesn’t stop me. When I get to my car, I start the engine right away but pause, thinking she’ll come flying out the door after me to beg me to stay, to plead that what I saw in there wasn’t what I thought it was. Instead, she stands in the doorway a moment then the door closes.

  I reverse from the spot and tear out of this neighborhood—the very same neighborhood I have no business being in. Dating Sawyer was a risk, one I was very willing to take, and now I couldn’t be happier it didn’t get any further. I could have destroyed friendships more than what I’ve already done. Not to mention what my aunt and uncle would have thought when they found out I was dating her. Disappointment would weigh heavy every time I came home—to their home—from a night spent with her.

  No, it’s better this way. Better to end before we get too deep, too attached.

  I drive past the turnoff for home and keep going with no destination in mind. There’s still not enough distance between me, her, and that fucking guy.

  Hell, I could drive until I hit the next state and it still wouldn’t be enough space to heal the void seeping inside tonight.

  The first time I really noticed Sawyer was the beginning of this year. She sat directly in front of me on the bleachers at a school assembly. It was her hair that first drew me in—long, blonde, and wild. I couldn’t tell if it was curly or straight, but there was a lot of it and it was everywhere. Then, she pulled her arms inside her sweater and lifted it over her head, hair swaying as she shrugged out of it. She wore a sleeveless shirt underneath her sweater, and when it was off, it revealed her shoulder tattoo. The shirt still hid half of it, but part of a flower with a dozen birds flying off the top toward her shoulder piqued my interest. I spent the rest of the assembly trying to figure out what it meant. From that day, it became clear she was a sparkler—bright, beautiful, and untouchable.

  But, I didn’t expect her to be this much. Too much to handle.

  Why the hell did she have to kiss another guy? Why was her ex-boyfriend even at her house? Does she see him often?

  Past relationships weren’t something we talked about. But every word exchanged was so different with Sawyer. All protocols ceased to exist the moment she slid into my car the very first night I drove her home. We never spoke about the usual things people who were dating spoke of. That’s what I liked so much about her. She changed my day-to-day life. She challenged me and pushed me. The world looked different standing beside her, and I thrived on it.

  We just met, and everything is still so new with her. It shouldn’t hurt like this. It shouldn’t sting like the slice of a knife opening me. It shouldn’t, yet it does. It takes my breath when I think of what my life might look like without her.

  The idea of going back to school, playing baseball with Nathan, hanging at the usual parties, makes my stomach turn even more.

  I slam on my brakes and veer my car to the side of the freeway.

  “Fuck!” I slam my fists on the steering wheel.

  The next day I ditch school, another first for me. I never really had a reason to ditch before. Nathan and some others have, but I somewhat enjoy school, or I used to, so there hasn’t been anything worth getting in trouble over.

  Except for now. My exception to all exceptions.

  I spend the entire day planning.

  Sawyer and I haven’t spoken since last night. She probably thinks I won’t show tomorrow for our road trip to Newport.

  She’s wrong.

  Chapter THIRTEEN

  Sawyer

  I wanted to call Lachlan a dozen times since he walked out of my house Thursday night. To explain everything. But would he even believe me? I probably wouldn’t believe me if the situation was reversed. When Drew walked into my house, I knew it meant trouble. The smell of alcohol wafting from his mouth when he slurred his words was so intense I wanted to vomit right there on my living room floor. When he slammed his mouth against mine, bile crawled up the back of my throat. His rough, forceful hands held my face to his, and I feared how far his drunken state would take things.

  I hate him. For so many reasons, I hate Drew. I won’t contact him when he gets back into town, drugs or not. I’ll find another way to get them. Drew’s like a destruction magnet. Everything around him gets unwillingly dragged into chaos, which is another reason I left that toxic relationship.

  It’s my fault for not walking away entirely, though. Breaking up with him wasn’t enough. I should have known better than to keep one foot in his life by still letting him deal to me. The only thing stronger than my hatred for my ex-boyfriend is revulsion for myself for being pathetic enough to keep that cheating piece of shit around.

  When I heard a throat clear, I was hoping like hell it belonged to my brother. The last person I expected to see standing in my living room was Lachlan.

  Drew has never been violent toward me except for when he grabbed my arm at the diamond, and I didn’t know how far he was going to push, so I was relieved for any intrusion. But my relief was trampled the instant Lachlan’s eyes locked with mine.

  I hurt him.

  I betrayed him.

  I’d done to Lachlan what Drew had done to me.

  And even though Drew basically attacked me after I screamed for him to leave my house, I can never forgive myself for what
Lachlan saw. Intentional or not, I know firsthand how an image will burn itself into your brain, becoming the only thing you see when you close your eyes.

  Saturday morning arrives, and I don’t even want to get out of bed. Today was supposed to be the day Lachlan took me to Newport Beach and taught me how to bodyboard. Today was the only day I’d looked forward to in a long time. Getting away from Woodsview and the chance to be alone with Lachlan without any restrictions sounded perfect.

  When he didn’t show at school yesterday, his actions made it clear it was over between us. I regretted not calling him right away or going after him when he left. I just didn’t know how to explain what happened, and I think part of me was still in shock over having Drew force himself on me in my own home.

  It’s probably best things ended between Lachlan and me, anyway.

  We never belonged together.

  The sound of the front door opening and closing, come from the front of the house. It must be Sloane because her annoyingly upbeat humming fills the silence. People in my house freak me out, so I jump out of bed and jog down the hall into the living room.

  “Hey, are you just getting up?” She passes me a coffee cup with an anchor on the front. The Anchor House has the best coffee in town and my obsession with anchors makes me fall deeper in love with their logo. The anchor on the cup is nearly identical to the one tattooed on the back of my forearm.

  I shake my head and lift the cup to my nose, inhaling before taking a sip. The hot liquid flows down my throat and warms my core. “No, I’ve just been lying around waiting for your face to show up.”

  “Uh-huh. Well, there’s going to be a change of plans for today. Girls’ day is cancelled.”

  Yesterday afternoon, Sloane and I met at Mile High for dinner and I told her what happened the night before. She immediately wanted to hunt Drew down and kick his ass. After I talked her down, I told her the rest of the story. Of how Lachlan walked in and got the wrong impression. I also told her about the day trip we were supposed to take today. Being the bestest of best friends that she is, Sloane immediately began planning a girls’ day, just the two of us.