Six Years Gone (Gone #1)

by Jessica Gouin

  “Why is our day cancelled? I was looking forward to getting my mind off a certain Australian person who I don’t want to think about.” I puff out my bottom lip. Normally, I hate when she puts together these days, but I need a day of distractions.

  “Don’t look so glum. There’s no way to get your mind off nameless Australians now anyway.”

  “What? Why not?”

  “Because Lachlan’s in the driveway.” She gasps and covers her mouth. “Oops, I named him. My bad.”

  A bolt of electricity courses through my body at the thought of him showing up for our day together. I rush to the window and push the curtain to the side. His car is parked in my driveway and he’s leaning against the driver’s door, arms crossed.

  “He showed.” I turn to Sloane, who has the brightest smile on her face. “Why did he show?”

  She holds up her hands in front of her, and her smile drops. “Okay, don’t be mad.”

  “What did you do, Sloane?”

  “Well, after we had dinner last night, I went to gas up the car for our girls’ day out and he was kind of at the gas station doing the same. I couldn’t not say anything. I mean, he was literally right next to me. It was super awkward.”

  She didn’t. “What did you say to him?”

  “I didn’t say anything. Lachlan was the one who broke the awkward silence. I wasn’t even sure he was speaking to me because he kept his head down and his cap was covering most of his face. But, there was no denying what he said.”

  “Which was?” My tension is so great with her stupid build up that my left eye is twitching.

  “He said he was still coming for you because you owe him today.”

  I cast my eyes down, away from her. When I peek at him again his expression seems guarded. Almost as though he’s unsure if he should be here at all.

  “What do I do?”

  “You go. You tell him the truth. You have an amazing day.”

  I remove my fingers from the curtain, letting it fall back into place. “What about you? What are you doing to do today?”

  Sloane shakes her head. “Don’t worry about me. You need to go. He’s waiting for you.”

  Before I go anywhere, I need to know he’s not totally pissed and going to murder me or something. I rock on my heels as I debate my next move. Sloane tilts her head, clearly confused with my obvious struggle. I let out a sigh. “Shit, I’ll be right back.”

  Grabbing my sweater from the back of the couch, I put it on over my pajamas and twist my hair into a messy bun at the top of my head while I brace myself for impact.

  As I approach Lachlan, he kicks off the car. His expression is hard to read. The way he’s standing, arms crossed, legs a bit apart, seems like he’s closed off from me, guarded. But his affection shines through, and the knots in my stomach loosen.

  “Hi.” He speaks first, and it surprises me.

  “Good morning. I wasn’t expecting you to be here.” I mirror his stance and cross my arms as well.

  “I wasn’t expecting for me to be here either, yet here I am.”

  I let my arms drops to my sides. “Lachlan, you need to know—”

  He steps forward and lowers his arms as well, letting his guard down. “All I need to know is whatever happened Thursday night won’t happen again.”

  “No, it won’t, and it’s not something you ever need to worry about. But, you need to know everything that happened. You need to know what you saw wasn’t even remotely what it looked like. Drew barged into my house and kissed me. He wasn’t invited, and neither was his kiss. We broke up for good reasons, and I would never go back to him. Especially since I have you. Had you.”

  “Did he hurt you?”

  The worry radiating from him melts my insides. I shake my head.

  “Okay, then. Go get dressed. We have a long day ahead of us.”

  “Really? You still want to be with me today?”

  Lachlan closes the distance between us, grabs my wrists, and pulls me toward him. “How else will you ever learn to bodyboard?”

  I rise onto my toes to meet his lips with mine. “Give me ten minutes.”

  He nods and I head back inside my house, a twinkle of hope stirring inside my stomach that maybe everything isn’t entirely ruined.

  Owen is sitting at the kitchen table with Sloane, drinking the coffees she brought, and it takes nearly a full minute for them to realize I’m standing in front of them. “Hey, morning, sis.”

  “Well, hello there. I’m going to take off for the day.”

  They continue to stare at me with emotionless faces. Waiting for my point. I thought I already made it. “So, I’ll be leaving. With Lachlan. For the day.”

  The obnoxiously large grin that overcomes Sloane’s face makes me laugh and shake my head.

  “So, what did he say? Was he mad? Because he didn’t seem mad yesterday at the gas station. More like…determined.”

  My focus flicks toward Lachlan. Even though I can’t see him, I can picture him, all muscled arms and solid chest, still leaning on the side of his car. “Uh, mad? No. Not really. Actually, not even remotely.”

  “Why would he be mad? Did you unleash one of your many delightful temperaments on the poor mate?” Owen snickers then takes another sip of his coffee.

  I bend and punch him in his bicep. Drops of his coffee splash onto the table, and he blots the liquid with a few napkins while laughing. “I’m only teasing. Whatever happened between you and your boyfriend, I’m glad it’s over. Now get out.”

  “He’s not my boyfriend.” I don’t think so anyway. “And why are you in such a rush to get rid of your little sister?”

  I glance to Sloane who blushes a thousand shades of pink.

  “You know what?” I throw my hands in the air. “I don’t even want to know what’s happening here. I have enough to deal with in my life, and this doesn’t concern me. Nope, all that concerns me is the boy waiting in the driveway, willing to spend time with me even though he’s probably better off without me.”

  On my way to gather my stuff, I pass my mother’s room and notice her vacant bed. I can’t remember when I saw her last. My gaze flutters over the unkempt room, the tossed bed sheets, clothes piled in corners, empty alcohol bottles lying on the floor.

  Owen and I both try to maintain the rest of the house, but we don’t go in here. Ever.

  Closing her door, I shut my eyes, count to three, then continue to my bedroom and force myself to think about what today holds and not what yesterday did.

  After changing and packing a bag with a few clothes and toiletries, I head out the front door, hollering for my brother and best friend to have a good day. Whatever they’re doing.

  “Sawyer, wait up a second.” Owen rushes to me as I step outside onto the front porch. “No one in this world is better off without you in their life. You need to know that.”

  A weight lifts from my shoulders. There’s so much on them, and most of the time I can bear it, but his words have such a punch behind them. I know he’s not just speaking of Lachlan. He’s talking about our parents, about Drew, about all my so-called friends who have come in and out of my life whenever it’s convenient for them.

  I wrap my arms around his neck. “Thank you,” I whisper into his hair.

  In the car with Lachlan, he grins and hands me a paper bag. I hesitantly peek inside and find two bagels.

  “Yum.”

  The corners of his mouth hooks up. “You need to eat and get your strength.”

  I unwrap one of the bagels, pass him half then take a bite of the other half. So good. “Strength? What the hell are you going to make me do in the water?”

  “Oh, you’ll see.”

  We ride in silence for a few miles, and it’s nice. Peaceful, not awkward. The radio plays at a low volume, but the second that song starts, we both still as if movement will make the dream fade away.

  “I haven’t heard this song since the first night I drove you home.” Lachlan turns the volume louder.


  “I’m just thankful you’re eating and, therefore, unable to serenade me again.”

  “Challenge accepted.” He takes a large bite of his breakfast and, with a massively unattractive mouthful of bagel, begins singing the song that became our song—even though I wholly detested everything it stands for.

  Not a word, not one word can I understand. I rip tiny pieces of my bagel and pitch them at him. “Please, stop the torture! I’m begging you.”

  We’re both laughing so hard Lachlan starts to cough. He covers his mouth and motions for the bottle of water in the console.

  “Oh this? You want some water? Are you choking on your horrible voice?”

  He laughs harder and swats at the bottle. I unscrew the lid and pass him his drink before he actually does choke to death on his food.

  “So not cool.” He says after finishing the bottle and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

  “You survived. I knew a small dose of singing-karma wouldn’t do you in. It really should have. Your voice…. Let’s just say you’re lucky you have a pretty face.” As he laces his fingers with mine and kisses my knuckles, my mind drifts. If this day has any chance of being perfect, then I have to ask. I have to get it out of the way because I need to know. “Lach, at the risk of ruining what could potentially be the greatest day of my existence, tell me why you weren’t at school yesterday.”

  His jaw tenses. “I didn’t want to talk about this today. I really didn’t. But you, Sawyer, are a dog with a bone, and when you want to know something, you won’t stop until you have all the details. So, if we must do this and get it out of the way, then let’s do it. Yesterday morning, I left my house with the intention to drive to school to find you. I didn’t call because what I wanted to say to you had to be to your face. Not over the phone.”

  “That doesn’t sound good.” I drop his hand, no longer feeling our connection.

  Lachlan reaches over, takes my hand again, and kisses the back. “You want the details, so listen. It doesn’t matter what I wanted to talk to you about. That all changed the minute I saw my slashed tire.”

  “What? A slashed tire?”

  “I think your ex-boyfriend paid me a visit.”

  Drew isn’t the most rationale person, and I’ve seen firsthand what he can be capable of, but, for so long, I wanted to believe he would never bring the really scary parts of his life around me. It should have never spilled over into my world. Yet, here it is. “That son of a bitch. It’s my fault.”

  I should have cut all ties with Drew, every single one of them, when I started seeing Lachlan. If my stupid big head housed a fraction of a brain, I would have walked out of his life completely when we broke up. Instead, I strung him along to get pills. The need to have something medicate me through the day is sometimes overwhelming. It’s easier to pop magic into my mouth than to face my problems and try to solve them.

  “Babe, I don’t want you to worry. It’s just a tire. I fixed it and it’s over.”

  “You don’t understand. It’s not about the tire. Drew can be dangerous. His friends aren’t the type of people you want on your bad side.” I shudder at the thought of what I saw while dating him. The drugs, the guns, the crimes. “Wait…. Did you just call me babe?”

  Lachlan chuckles. “I can’t call you angel. I can’t call you babe. What the hell am I supposed to call you?”

  “Sawyer?”

  “But Sawyer is what everyone calls you. It’s your name.”

  “Right. Everyone calls me that because it’s my name.”

  “A name which belongs to the rest of the world. I want a part of you that’s just mine.”

  “Here we go again with the name thing. You really have name issues, Noah.”

  He laughs, and I can’t help staring at our interlocked fingers. Like they belong to each together.

  I settle in my seat for the ride to the beach, knowing that, now the ugly part is out of the way, this day can be an unforgettable one.

  Chapter FOURTEEN

  Lachlan

  In Australia, I never did much surfing. A perfect waste of my childhood because the beach was literally down the street from my house. My mom hated the beach, and, even though my dad loved it, we never went. My life was a whole lot different there than it is here. Here, Nathan and I drive to Newport Beach at least once a month to bodyboard.

  Nathan taught me everything there is to know about the water. I picked up fairly quickly. He said I was a natural learner and it was a good thing or else he would have had to kick my ass. Each time we were in the water, he taught me something new. I still don’t know where he learned everything, but he explained there are three basic forms of riding—prone, drop knee, and stand up. Stand up is my go-to. It’s the one that gives me the best thrill. But today, we’ll just stick to prone so Sawyer can ride the waves on her stomach. We’ll start slow, and that’s okay with me because, if I have anything to do with it, there’s going to be a hundred more days like today in our future.

  The feeling of being in the ocean, free and without restrictions, is something you can’t hold. It’s intangible, but it’s real. It’s powerful. Out in the water, I’m small and insignificant. It doesn’t judge me or care who I hang out with or what kind of car I drive. It’s just there for me whenever I need it. It’s always waiting for me.

  My love affair with this beach and the water grows considerably with Sawyer next to me. Having her beside me changes the colors of the universe.

  After our drive, we spend some time walking around to the different shops, stretching our legs, taking advantage of the fact no one here knows us. We hold hands and kiss in public like no one was watching, because they aren’t. Strangers who pass us by don’t know she’s an angelic rebel and belongs to another world. To all those strangers, we’re just a boy and a girl who are falling for each other. I can see it in her eyes, her walk, and her attitude. It’s written all over her face, and I can’t wait for the moment when she realizes she’s in love with me.

  Because I sure as shit cannot wait to tell her I love her.

  Around lunchtime, I bring Sawyer to Ruby’s Diner for the best burger.

  “Oh my god, Lachlan, would you look at this view?” She takes a seat on the patio and I pull my green plastic chair closer to hers.

  “It’s pretty great, right?” Our table overlooks a section of the beach behind the trees. The water stretches to the ends of the earth. Beyond the blue waters is nothing but clear skies. “It’s a perfect day to get wet.”

  Sawyer takes a sip of her drink to keep from chuckling. I know what I said. The best trait of my girl is her sense of humor.

  “Man, these fries. And I thought Mile High had the best food.”

  “See what happens when you leave your bubble.”

  “Yeah, well, hopefully after graduation, I’ll be busting free of my bubble and never looking back.” Her eyes remain on the ocean, and mine remain on her. She speaks of the future like she’s so sure of it.

  “I know how badly you want to put space between Woodsview and yourself, but what makes you so sure it’s going to be better anywhere else?”

  Her focus shifts to me. “Because I refuse to believe this is it. There’s no way God, or whoever is running the show, sent me to this earth just to be given two parents who would rather see me dead. There has to be a bigger reason behind all the daily torture. Some purpose to it all. And I highly doubt my purpose will be found in that hateful town.”

  I place my hand on the back of her neck and squeeze softly, bringing my forehead to rest against hers. I don’t want any more discussions about future. I’m terrified that, despite how different our lives are currently, it’s going to be tenfold in five years.

  “Right now, darlin’, your purpose on earth is to get in the water with me.”

  “No darlin’s either.” She smirks as she grabs our empty food baskets to toss in the trash. “Let’s go get me wet.”

  We stay in the ocean until we’re wrinkly and exhausted. Sawyer did great
, and I know she loves being in the water. Another natural beach bum was born today. She fits in here with her long blonde hair and sun-kissed skin.

  After I return our boards and change into dry clothing, I buy two smoothies and meet her by my car. As I approach, I pause to watch her. I take in absolutely everything about her. The way she twists her hair into a knot on the top of her head, the way a few strands fall to trace her devastatingly stunning face. The way her long, toned legs look in those perfectly short shorts. And the part that completely mesmerizes me, the way her neck is exposed with her hair being pulled up.

  The need to place my mouth on the curve of her neck and wrap her leg around my waist is overwhelming. Almost embarrassingly so.

  I force myself to snap out of the daze. “All dry?”

  “All dry. That was amazing. Seriously, thank you so much for bringing me here.”

  She takes the smoothie from me and fists the front of my shirt with her other hand. She rises onto her toes to bring her mouth to mine. She pulls back too soon. I’m not done with her yet. I bend down to kiss her more. Taking the cups from both of us, I set them on the roof of my car. With her hands free, she grabs the back of my neck, holding me in place. I mimic her clutch and move her against the car, placing my hands on either side, caging her with my hips. Pinning her into place. She doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, she deepens the kiss, opening her mouth to me. I don’t hesitate to taste her.

  Saltwater and lip balm.

  I trail my hand down her side to her outer thigh and squeeze.

  Sawyer pulls back enough to break the kiss, and we’re both left breathing hard, reeling from our moment.

  Our very public moment.

  “You’re welcome for today. Trust me, it was for me just as much as it was you. I love being here with you. I love being anywhere with you.”