Six Years Gone (Gone #1)

by Jessica Gouin

  The look of terror takes hold of her. “I love you, Lachlan.” She doesn’t exhale after she says this, and I understand the look of terror.

  I cup the back of her neck and kiss her hard. “God, I was hoping you would say that. I love you, too, Sawyer.”

  Her breath is released, and she peppers my lips, cheeks, and face with more kisses.

  Fuck, I love her.

  “Can we go somewhere? In your car?” Her hands are everywhere, and I need to clarify what she means so I don’t misunderstand.

  “What do you mean go somewhere?”

  “Somewhere to be alone. Anywhere. I don’t care.” She breaks away, opens her door, grabs the drinks from the roof, and climbs inside.

  Yep. We can go somewhere. We can go anywhere.

  As long as we get there fast.

  I slide into the car and peel out from my spot, spewing sand from the tires in the rearview mirror.

  Sawyer giggles from the passenger seat. I glance at her and she’s staring at me. Like I could do no wrong by her. She looks at me as though I’m holding her to this earth.

  “Do you know where we’re going?” she whispers. All trust placed in my hands.

  My only response is a crooked smile.

  Really, I have no clue, but I think I might have a spot in mind.

  I drive a bit farther than I want to. It’s pure torture having Sawyer beside me, tracing an infinity sign on the back of my hand that rests anxiously on her bare, tanned, needful thigh.

  Finally, I veer off the road, heading into a small park. I drive all the way down toward the water and come to a stop in between a few trees. The sun is beginning to set in the cotton candy sky and barely anyone is around. Only a few walk the path down the hill below us. The spot I found overlooks the beach, just past the path. The last time Nathan and I came to Newport, I saw this turnoff. I figured this is where it led. It was a good call. Definitely a good call.

  “God, I freaking love this view.” Sawyer’s head falls back against the seat as she watches the still waters, waiting for the sun to dip toward the water and disappear behind it.

  While she watches the water, I watch her. It’s insane because we just met and this is pretty much our first real date together, where we didn’t hide somewhere. We’re unrestricted with each other, and, in our freedom, I fell so hard in love. Soul crushing tidal waves of nothing but love for this girl. “My view is pretty spectacular, too.”

  Her head rolls to the side, and her eyes shine. I let my head fall back and hold her stare. “I really do love you.”

  She tries to fight the smile threatening to release on her face. “Yeah, I heard something like that.”

  “Shut up.” I tease then pull her to me, closing the space between us. She cups the side of my face, trailing fingers down my neck to my chest. Just like before, she grabs a handful of my shirt and tugs me closer. I can’t get enough of her body and the damn console’s in the way, but that doesn’t stop the kiss from deepening. I can’t stop my hands from wandering along her side and slipping under the back of her shirt. A tiny gasp escapes her mouth as my skin touches hers.

  “The sun,” she murmurs against our kisses.

  My lips leave hers, and I lick and nip my way down her neck to her collarbone. The dip I’ve been eyeing all day tastes better than I imagined.

  “Lach, the sun is setting.” Her giggles bubble to the surface, and I reluctantly remove my mouth from her body to turn toward the picturesque view outside the windshield, resting my head on her shoulder.

  “What a perfect day.” She nuzzles my hair and sighs.

  Today has probably been the best day of my life. One I know I won’t forget anytime soon. And to think, it almost never happened. We almost let other people come in between us. What’s worse is that, once we’re back in Woodsview, it’s back to secrets and sneaking.

  But I don’t care. I’ll do what I have to do to protect what I have with her. What we found in each other.

  Lifting my head, I look at her. She’s more interesting than the sunset anyhow. Reaching out, I turn her face toward mine and her eyes instantly drop to my mouth. We kiss again, but this time it’s not heated, or full of angst. It’s slow, purposeful. I lazily trace my tongue over hers, and she groans, pulling me closer again. Hands roam all over the place, increasing my need for her. Her palm glides up my thigh and back toward my knee. She shifts forward, pushing her chest against mine, and my hand slithers under her shirt, up her stomach to cup her breast. She pulls away, and the expression on her face mirrors the thoughts in my mind.

  Sawyer reaches for the door handle, opens the door, and gets out. She shuts the door, opens the back door, and climbs in. Once she’s in the backseat, I stare at her from the front, unsure but praying like hell I know what this means.

  “Come back here with me.”

  With those words, I rush to her side. Sitting on the edge of the seat and turned toward her, I take one last glimpse at the sun retiring behind the Pacific, then focus all my attention on my girl.

  “I didn’t expect this. I mean, this wasn’t my intention for bringing you here. Or telling you I’m in love with you. I don’t even have a condom. This wasn’t a way to get—”

  “Lachlan.” She hushes me with a finger on my lips. “It’s okay. I’m on the pill. Now, shut up and kiss me.”

  Chapter FIFTEEN

  Sawyer

  I hate Monday mornings.

  I hate school.

  I especially hate Monday mornings when I have to go to school.

  There are a few things, okay maybe just one thing, about school I don’t fully detest with every inch of my soul—English class. During those forty-five minutes of open-mindedness, it’s okay to bend the rules, argue your point, and discuss your side of a topic. It’s not always two plus two equals four. You can debate and change someone’s mind about something they were once firm on. Make them see your side of an issue.

  It also helps to have a kick-ass teacher. She’s laid back, yet still commands authority. You have to give respect to get it, and she understands how that works with us teenage folk. I love having her as a teacher even more since she randomly decided to send us to the library to do novel research today. Doing anything outside the constraining walls of the classroom is a free period, that’s my view anyway.

  Sloane and I sit beside each other in the computer lab. When Lachlan strolls through the doorway, I glance up from the screen and his eyes meet mine. He winks, which makes my cheeks warm and I cast my focus elsewhere. He disappears behind the towering bookshelves, so I revert to my screen.

  Behind closed eye lids, images from the weekend flash through my mind in short clips. Short, memorable, undeniably blissful excerpts. The scent of the saltwater and the sounds of the oceans’ waves crashing. It truly was the greatest day I’ve ever had. Being with him, free and nothing holding either of us back, was the reassurance I needed to nudge me toward him. To allow myself to open up to a boy. I’ve been shattered by so many, but Lachlan is starting to gather those pieces. One by one, he’s the boy who will make me whole again.

  The thought of a boy with the ability to make me a whole person taking each vulnerable fragment was something I never thought I needed. Or wanted. I ran my own show all by myself and it was the way I liked it. I was used to living that way, and I wasn’t in the market to change it. Having another person lift one of the weights I carry off my body was the release I didn’t know I needed.

  I’ve never had a boy tell me he loved me before without expecting anything in return. I was so overcome with emotions when Lachlan said those words to me I couldn’t speak. And, as cliché as being with him in the backseat of the car was, it was the perfect way to end our flawless day. When he drove me home and kissed me good night, I practically floated to my bedroom.

  Sloane elbows me in my arm, and I jerk out of my daydream. “So, are you two really going to pretend like you don’t know each other in public? You can’t be his dirty little secret forever, you know.”
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  My melodramatic mood takes over, and I release a very long and loud sigh. “We don’t want anyone to find out about us just yet. People wreck things. Good things. If something is shining, they find a way to destroy it. Everything is effortless when it’s just the two of us, and we don’t want that to change.” I sneak a glimpse in his direction, but he’s not where I can see him anymore. “If everyone knew the hot, rich Australian guy was dating the white trash product of a broken home, it would change us.”

  It would.

  Whispers would buzz and stares would linger when we passed people in the hallways. They would watch us during lunch period. They would snicker at us around town. His friends would definitely have something to say regarding his choice of girlfriend. Aside from the unwanted attention, I haven’t heard from Drew since he left town after Lachlan’s tires were slashed. I don’t want to pull at an already too-thin thread.

  High school will be over soon, and our friends’ opinions won’t matter much, but an even bigger issue remains. Lachlan’s aunt and uncle will be disappointed in him if we stroll into his house together. It’s just easier and less complicated to stay secretive.

  “Sawyer, what you and Lachlan have isn’t reality. It would change everything, yes, but that’s what relationships do. Relationships are intended to change your world.” Sloane’s voice grabs my attention, snapping me out of my inner turmoil. “I don’t mean to sound harsh, but—”

  “But what? You don’t think what we have is real because he doesn’t fondle me in the middle of the cafeteria? Should I tell him to bend me over Ms. Fisher’s desk next period?”

  She flinches at my harsh tone. “Whoa, I didn’t say that. All I’m saying is if what you have is solid, then you don’t have anything to worry about. You need to be a real couple. Stop sneaking around or running off to other towns. Time to confront the world. If you go through the worst together, then you’ll know how strong you really are.”

  She glances past me, and I follow her stare to where Lachlan is now leaving the library. He lifts his chin in my direction, smiling. All of a sudden, my thoughts center on how right Sloane is.

  “I’m sorry for snapping on you. You’re right. I’ve never had anything this good before, Slone.”

  She places her hand on my shoulder. “It will always be good. You have to trust yourself more. Other people, too, once in a while, and stop being so paranoid.”

  I blow out a long, steady breath. Everything is about to change.

  Before he turns away, I nod in the direction he just came from. He stops walking and says something to his friends, then walks back behind the shelves as they leave the computer lab.

  I tell Sloane I’ll be right back, and she offers half a smile.

  “By the way,” I say, clapping my hands and spinning on my heels as I pass her, “don’t think I haven’t forgotten about the goofy looks and big cartoon heart-shaped eyes you and my brother were giving each other Saturday morning. I want the full report of what the hell is happening between the two of you when I get back.” Her smile fades as mine grows. Tables officially turned, Miss Relationship Advisor.

  By the time I reach Lachlan, he’s on the other side of the library section of the computer lab. He’s leaning against the wall, his foot propped up, and his eyes meet mine as I close in. “Hey, you.”

  His foot drops to the ground, and he reaches for my hand, yanking me into him. My palms collide against his hard chest, and another tornado of memories sweep around me. Memories of my hands roaming his bare chest two days ago. Memories I should stop reliving at school.

  “Hi.” Glancing around to make sure no one is watching, I press my mouth against his quickly, sparking flames around us.

  “Babe, anytime you want to meet like this, you just tell me the time and place. Sneaking around is hot, but sneaking around at school is fucking sexy.” His hand moves to the nape of my neck, and, in one quick motion, he turns us both around so my back is to the wall and pushes me against it. His mouth covers mine again, and I’m letting groans slip from my mouth without the ability to stop them.

  Fuck, we’re so going to get caught. I don’t care one bit, though.

  When he trickles kisses from my lips down my neck, I can finally manage words. “Lach,”

  “Hmm.”

  “We’re at school.”

  “My car’s in the parking lot. Wanna check out the backseat?”

  My body responds to his suggestion by tingling completely everywhere. I shove him a little and laugh before I lose my mind and take him up on the offer. “You’re terrible.”

  “I can’t help myself around you. Did you need something, or did you want to just make out?”

  He leans in again, smiling, and I lightly push his chest. “Stop, I really wanted to tell you something.” Deep breath. “So, I was thinking, last weekend we did something you wanted to do.”

  “Babe.” He bites his bottom lip, dragging his teeth across it. “Pretty sure you wanted it to.”

  “Uh, that, I have no comment for. But, I was talking about bodyboarding.” His ridiculously perfect smile twists my stomach into knots.

  “Oh, right. Me, too.”

  “Well, this weekend, we’re going to do what I want to do.”

  He pulls back so he can look at my face, his eyebrows furrowing together. “I don’t know about that, Sully. You don’t seem to have many good habits.”

  He doesn’t know the half of my habits. But as long as we’re together, he won’t have to, because I don’t need the bad habits when I have him. “Wow, your pet names just keep getting worse. Erase Sully from you vocabulary. You can keep babe, though. I’ve decided that’s pretty hot. And, I think you’ll like what I have planned. Trust me.”

  I rise onto the tips of my toes and brush my lips on his cheek then drop his hand and walk back to Sloane.

  “For real, you need to pick one. We’ve been here for over an hour and you’ve had since Monday to choose. It’s not that hard.”

  Lachlan drops the book on the table in front of him and stands up. “In my defense, you knew since Monday what we were doing today. I just found out I had to make this choice like an hour ago. And it’s not like I can take it back once it’s made. This is kinda permanent, so stop rushing me.”

  A small laugh escapes me. I twist my mouth and think about it. “You’re right. It’s probably the biggest decision you’ve ever made. And it’s not like it just washes off after a few days. Wait a minute. You’re not…afraid are you?”

  The room falls silent, everyone around watches him to gauge his reaction. He scans the audience then lowers his voice. “To be clear, you my love, are the only thing that scares me.”

  The edges of my mouth curve up. “Then pick one.”

  “I don’t want any of them.” He crosses his arms, making the muscles bulge.

  “What? You’re really not going to get one?”

  “No. I’ll get one. I just know what I want, and it’s not in these books.”

  The tattoo artist claps his hands together then rubs them fast, obviously excited. “Sweet! I love doing freehand designs. What you got in mind, bro?”

  Three hours later, Lachlan and I leave the tattoo shop and head for my Jeep.

  “Sore?” I wince when I look over to him, knowing the fresh feeling of being inked. When I brought Lachlan here, part of me thought he wasn’t going to get anything at all. My idea was to pull him from his security bubble, just as he did for me a week ago, but I didn’t really think he was going to go through with it. And I really didn’t think he was going to get his entire shoulder done.

  Lachlan rotates his arm slightly, carefully holding back the cuff of his sleeve. “It’s fine. I just hope it won’t affect my game. The coach would be pissed if I threw away the end of the season for ink.”

  “You should only be tender for a few days, not even. It’s just irritating when it starts to heal and get itchy. Do you like how to turned out?”

  We arrive at my Jeep, and he opens the door for me
to get in. I sit up on the seat, legs still hanging outside the car, and he surprises me by leaning forward, boxing me in.

  “I love it. And, I fucking love you.” He takes my chin in his hand and kisses me hard. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I wanna see it again!”

  Tattooed guys have always been a huge turn-on for me. Drew is covered in them, and that’s where my initial attraction to him came from. But holy hell, Lachlan’s tattoo is utterly irresistible. He steps back to once again carefully lift the cuff of his shirt to reveal his rosy skin and new ink.

  I always thought my artist was a genius, which is why I’ve only ever gone to him for all my work. This tattoo that is branded onto my guy is unreal, though. He has the words Strength in Family hidden by tribal symbols, designs, and patterns. When you step back, the letters are almost indistinguishable, but when you look at the piece up close, you can see the words. It’s unquestionably pure art.

  “Lach, it’s seriously fucking hot. When did you come up with this idea?”

  He shrugs and gently replaces his sleeve. “I always knew my family was stronger when they were together. I believe all families are.”

  His words sink into my brain as he walks around the car to get in the passenger side. For a fraction of a minute, I chew over his words. What does family actually mean, though? Sure as hell not my parents. Sloane, Owen, and maybe Rose, are the only family I’ve ever felt. Not for the first time, I wonder what my life would be like if my father hadn’t walked out. If he would have just stayed and put some effort into his existing family.

  “You okay?”

  “Of course, let’s get out of here.” I start the car and reverse from my spot. As I’m driving, Lachlan places his hand on my leg and squeezes once. Drawn from the depths of my mind, I turn to him. Nothing but adoration radiates from his smile.

  It’s weird how the people you think you need the most walk away from you and you end up being just fine. And the people you thought you’d never need end up being the ones you actually can’t live without.