Six Years Gone (Gone #1)

by Jessica Gouin

  Chapter SIXTEEN

  Lachlan

  Getting a tattoo hurt way more than I thought it would. I’m not afraid of needles or the pain, but it probably would have been a better idea to get something smaller for my first time. I can’t regret my decision, though, because it turned out totally perfect. How I’m going to explain this to my aunt and uncle, I don’t know.

  Sawyer drops me off after midnight, and I’m relieved the house is dark and quiet. At least I can get some sleep before I attempt to explain my tattoo.

  I sneak into the kitchen for some water before I head upstairs and nearly shit myself when the lights turn on.

  “Lachlan Williams. Where on God’s green Earth have you been all day?” Aunt comes into the kitchen, tying her robe at her waist. “We were worried sick about you. I nearly called the hospitals to make sure you weren’t in a wreck or something.”

  “I didn’t mean to worry you, Aunt Claire. I was out with a friend. You never used to worry when I came home late. Do I have a curfew all of a sudden?”

  “Of course you don’t have a curfew. I think we’ve established that we can trust you. It’s just before you would have answered your cell phone when we called. I tried you three times to see when you would be home, and it went straight to voice mail each time.”

  I dig into my front pocket and pull my phone out to check for missed calls. I don’t remember the phone ringing today. I press the button, and nothing happens. “It must have died and I didn’t even realize. Sorry, Aunt. It won’t happen again.”

  She sighs and purses her lips. “I know it won’t. I’ll fix you something to eat, you must be starved. We had grilled salmon for dinner, and it’ll just take me a moment to heat some up for you.”

  “I’m good, Aunt, really, not hungry at all. Just need some water then going to bed.”

  “All right, make sure you shut— Lachlan! What the hell is that?”

  In all of my eighteen years, I’ve never heard Aunt swear before, or even come close to uttering an ill-mannered word from her Botox injected mouth. I’m still bent over in the fridge, but I don’t have to turn around to know what she’s referring to. I mentally cuss myself for not being more careful about covering my shoulder until I’ve had a chance to tell them. Not even three minutes home and I’m busted already. It makes me wonder if I’ve never been rebellious before out of respect for my aunt and uncle, or knowing I completely suck at it and would never get away with much.

  “It’s nothing, really. I got a tattoo today.”

  She crosses the kitchen with lightning speed. “Well, that I can see! What were you thinking? Why would you do something like this to your body?”

  My gaze lowers to the tiled floor. Disappointment is not an emotion I want to see in her eyes. “I just wanted one. I honestly didn’t think it would be a big deal. I turned eighteen a few months ago, and I’m an adult now. Able to make my own choices. I choose this.” I roll my sleeve to expose the whole design for her to read the words. I man up and meet her eyes, without faltering, and I watch the internal battle she has as she comprehends the message, understanding the meaning. She knows every detail of what happened to my family back home and how it twisted and bent me into another human being. I also know her stance on tattoos and everything else that falls under the non-suitable category, subtitled things I’ll never tell my country-club friends.

  She sighs heavily and reaches to cup my chin. Empathy shines as her head tilts slightly. “Get some sleep, love.”

  She turns from me and vanishes up the stairs, leaving me in the dark kitchen.

  She didn’t yell or scream. She handled my tattoo better than I expected.

  Maybe, if I tell her I’m in love with Sawyer Matthews, she’d handle that news just as well.

  Probably not.

  Sawyer has the following day off work, which I guess is rare for a Sunday, and my baseball practice has been cancelled because of the forecast, so we make plans to meet in the gazebo—our spot.

  It’s just after dinnertime when I arrive. She’s not here yet, so I lie down on the wooden floor and listen to the rain beat on the ceramic roof tiles. I nearly fall asleep waiting for her. A shadow darkens the entrance, and an umbrella lowers. I swallow hard and loud at the sight of her. Even though I’ve memorized every curve, every freckle, every inch of her, she still has the ability to steal the breath right from my lungs. All the time we’ve spent together hasn’t changed the way my body responds to her.

  It’s automatic.

  She collapses the umbrella, shaking the excess raindrops off before tossing it on the floor and comes to lie beside me. Time is never wasted with my girl as I prop myself up on an elbow and hover over her. I place my hand over her heart, that belongs to me, then the side of her angelic face and lower my mouth to hers. Claiming her again.

  She doesn’t pull away, but, instead, brings her hand to grip the hair at the nape of my neck, and I mentally thank the barbershop for being closed when I went to get a haircut earlier this week.

  The urgency in her kiss isn’t lost on me, and I don’t fight it. I slide my hand up her arm to her shoulder and hold tight.

  After a minute of getting lost in her, I pull back and brush a lock of hair from her cheek to tuck it behind her ear. “Hi.”

  “Hello,” she murmurs, smiling breathlessly. She looks away quickly, and I can tell she’s hiding something.

  “Everything okay?” I still hover over her, the need to protect her heightening. I swear, if that punk Drew did anything to hurt her again, I will track him down like the pathetic dog he is and he’ll be so sorry he ever met her.

  Her eyes search mine.

  “Talk to me, Sawyer” I plead, sitting up straight. Anxiety builds in my stomach, and my heart beats aggressively, matching the thunder that roars above us.

  She sits up with me, and we’re both cross-legged. “Sloane said something to me at school a few days ago, when we were in the library. It’s kind of been picking at me since.”

  I continue to watch her struggle for words, twirling her thumb ring. She starts to pick at her white nail polish, and I wait, not very patiently, for her to find the words she needs to say to me.

  “Sloane thinks we’ll never be a real couple until we’re not each other’s secret anymore and we should stop hiding our relationship from everyone and face the world. Together.”

  “You want to tell everyone about us?” That’s not even remotely where I thought this was going. I thought she was going to end us, not want to make a public announcement.

  “Well, not broadcast it over the P.A. system tomorrow morning at school. I think maybe we should stop hiding in this gazebo or leaving town when we want to have a meal. We could be together all the time. No matter where we are.”

  I trail my fingers from her cheeks, down her arms, and grip her hands. “Are you sure this is what you want? You know what it will mean, right? And once we do this, I don’t see a way of going back.”

  “I’m not sure about anything, except us. Our friends will talk about us the same way the whole town whispers about my mom. Drew will find out we’re still together, and who knows what he’ll do. Your aunt and uncle will know about me and where you’ve been spending your free time and definitely blame me for the tattoo. The thing is I don’t think I care anymore. They’re just people and words.”

  “Right, Sawyer. I’m glad you finally see everyone else doesn’t matter. Nothing can be worse than not being with you. You’re all that matters to me. Everything else is just noise.”

  “Including our families? It’s one thing not to care about what everyone at school will think, school’s almost over so we don’t have to deal with their bullshit for much longer, but I know your family won’t approve of me. I’ve seen it firsthand in your aunt’s face when she opened the door the other day. She was friendly enough until she knew I was there to see her nephew. How she looked at me is the way most people in this town do. Like I’m infectious.”

  Maybe I’m blinded by my feel
ings for her, but everything she said is just something we have to get through together. Not a deal breaker. I can see the struggle in her eyes, her worry everyone will try to rip me from her, but she’s wrong.

  I get on my feet and yank her arms so she’s standing, too, facing me. “I’ve thought of nothing but you since the first night I drove you home. I saw something amazing inside you, and I was right. You’re not some rough girl from the wrong side of town, Sawyer. You’re an incredible person with a huge heart, a fiery view on life, and an incredible sense of humor. You’re everything to me, and I don’t care who knows I’m dating you. I want everyone to know you’re mine. You belong with me. You always will.”

  Sawyer emotionally crumbles in my arms. She’s letting go and placing her trust in me. I wipe tears from her cheeks, and she stares at my fingers as though she wasn’t even aware she was crying.

  “Come to my baseball game Saturday night. You can sit in the stands with Sloane and watch your boyfriend play ball. It will give you all week to get used to the idea of others knowing we’re dating. Then, if you’re okay with it, we can go out to eat after.”

  “Do you not remember the last time we tried to eat in public?” She smirks, wiping more tears, a rush of laughter bubbling out of her.

  “This time will be different. Last time, we sat away from everyone and tried to ignore them. This time, we’ll sit at the same table with them. It won’t be a big deal if we don’t make it a big one. There might be some surprised people at first, maybe a few dumb comments that I’ll have to set straight, but I promise you, if we give it time, soon we’ll just be another couple. And as for my aunt, she was actually okay with my tattoo, so I think we should give her more credit. Our families want us to be happy. I’m only happy when I’m with you.”

  I can tell she’s still unsure, but I know what will put a smile on her face.

  So, I begin humming a tune and nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck that was made for me. The lavender scent of her shampoo drifts to me, and my eyes close to take her all in. I can tell she recognizes the song as my humming becomes louder and transforms into words. Not only is she smiling, she’s laughing. I sway our bodies, and she giggles as I sing the same song I sang to her the first time I drove her home.

  We whirl around the inside of the gazebo while I hold up our arms and she twirls in circles, blonde hair fanning out around her. She stops spinning, and her face is so close I feel the warmth of her breath, her chest rising and falling quickly with each short breath she takes. She moves in closer, and I trail my nose from her chin, down her neck, and across her collarbone as I slowly dip her backward. Her head drops all the way, exposing her neck, then she slowly lifts up, pressing into me.

  A flash of lightning illuminates the small space as the rain falls harder to the ground, shielding us from the world. Protecting us in this bubble. I hold her closer and begin to hum softly again, allowing our bodies to sway once more.

  “I love you,” she whispers as rests her head on my shoulder.

  Placing my finger on the bottom of her chin, while at the same time ducking to meet her eyes. “Sawyer, I love you. I’ll always be in love with you. Until the sky falls down on us, and, even then, I’ll still love you.”

  Chapter SEVENTEEN

  Sawyer

  When Sloane made me realize Lachlan and I were making a mistake by keeping our relationship a secret, I was terrified to think of us any other way. I half expected Lachlan to say she was crazy and what we were doing was right. He didn’t, though, and it terrified me even more. I’ve never been one to care about what other people think. Being the product of a very public broken home tends to put the spotlight on you, even if you don’t want the light—especially if you don’t want it.

  It took a while to master my invisibility skills. Sometimes, it’s better to have people see through me rather than inside me and realize the amount of darkness that invaded my young body. People will judge us when Lachlan and I walk hand in hand down the hallway. Although school will be over soon, we still live in a small gossip-driven town.

  But the thing is, the more I think about being public with Lachlan, the more eager I am. Letting go of our restraints sounds freeing. Being with Lachlan so far has been life changing. With each passing hour, I want it more. I want limitless adventures and rain-soaked dances. I ache to stroll the streets with my boyfriend and sit in a crowded movie theater on a Friday night.

  What we have together goes deeper than whispers and stares can touch. I still think the decision to be discreet until we were certain of our relationship was the right one to make because, now, we have the confidence it’s going to take to shoot down anyone who tries to break us apart.

  Bring it on.

  Waiting for Lachlan’s baseball game on Saturday night reminds me of what it was like as a kid waiting for Christmas morning. It’s the longest week of my life.

  Rose calls and asks me to help with the Equestrian Drill on Saturday morning, and I’m more than happy to accept the distraction.

  The ranch has two drill teams separated by age. The equestrian drill teams are groups of horses and their riders performing choreographed maneuvers to music. Both teams are extremely competitive and entertaining.

  My background job is, for the most part, confined to the insides of the stables after hours, which doesn’t allow me to see this side of the ranch. I’m the invisible staff member who completes tasks others didn’t know existed. I love what I do, but today I get the chance to see the ranch in its finest hour during one of the biggest competitions we hold.

  Anxiously, I wander out to the track, taking in the spectators filing into the stands. Women with open umbrellas take shelter from the UV rays. Men chatter with one another, reclining against the short wooden fences. Young kids run in the open field behind the stands, popcorn falling in trails behind them.

  I scan the horses, and, in an instant, I spot Drake. I’m about 75 percent excited and 25 percent nervous as hell for him. This must be how parents feel when they watch their kids play sports. This will be the closest I’ll get to experience any parent-related feelings.

  What I don’t expect to see is Lachlan standing next to Nathan under a great oak tree about fifteen feet from me. It doesn’t surprise me Nathan’s here. His younger sister, Becca, is one of our best riders. To look at the siblings, you would never know they were related. Nathan’s light complexion and surfer boy appearance is complete opposite to Becca’s darker features and studious demeanor. I’m curious if they share the same personality. I’ve never really spoken to Becca, but, from what I’ve heard about her, she doesn’t strike me as a totally self-centered, entitled, prissy bitch the way her brother acts.

  Lachlan didn’t say anything about coming with Nathan when we talked this morning. I wasn’t expecting to see him until the game tonight—when we make the big reveal. The one that I’m completely psyching myself up over.

  As if he senses me watching him, Lachlan lifts his head and offers a small wave complimented by a beaming grin. Nathan turns in my direction at the same time I return the wave to Lachlan, so I dissolve into the crowd.

  God, I can’t wait until this is over. I used to thrive on being his dirty little secret, lately it makes my heart ache.

  I try to hone any telepathy skills I may possess to mentally tell Lachlan to come find me. If I’m ever going to have a paranormal gift, let it be in this moment.

  About two minutes later, Lachlan walks into the stall where I’m preparing the horses’ gear. He’s sporting a very devious grin and latches the door closed.

  Interesting….

  “Hey, babe.”

  The corners of my mouth curve up. I’m spellbound in his presence. “Hi. What are you doing at the ranch today? I didn’t know you were into watching the competitions.”

  He shrugs then shoves his hands in the pocket of his jeans. “I’m not. Nate called and begged me to come with him so he wouldn’t be bored. His parents always force him to come to his sister’s competition
s. I knew you’d be here, so….” As he speaks, he moves closer, sucking all the free air from this tiny space, leaving me dizzy. He ducks to kiss my lips. “He thinks I’m using the washroom, but really I can’t be near you and not do this.” I love the way the huskiness of his voice highlights his accent. He bends down again, pressing his mouth to mine. I deepen our kiss, and, when we break apart, we’re both breathless. “I should go before the show starts. I’ll see you tonight.” He backs away with a wink but stops all of a sudden when he unlatches the door to exit the stall.

  I’m confused for a fraction of a second.

  “Well, now I know why you were so eager to come with me today.”

  Lachlan sends a fleeting glance my way. “Nate, what are you doing in here?”

  The sound of Nathan’s boots trudging toward my boyfriend fills the barn. “I saw you come in here and got curious.”

  The amusement in his voice pisses me off. Lachlan lifts his chin and puffs his chest, making it clear he’s not about to deal with Nathan’s smart-ass mouth or accusations, even if they are true.

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Nate. Let’s go.”

  Nathan takes another step, entering into my view, and stares me up and down. His smirk magnifies as if his suspicions are confirmed. “Thought so.” The asshole declares victory, turning to Lachlan. “How long have you been keeping your dirty secret?” The tone of his voice drops so low I almost don’t hear him.

  After his comment, everything happens at once. My jaw drops the same time Lachlan’s fist swings forward and connects with Nathan’s smug face. He stumbles backward, touches his bloody lip then, with a glimpse at his crimson-tainted fingers, lunges for Lachlan.

  Both guys tumble to the hay-covered floor.

  Shit.

  Yelling for them to stop, I sprint from the stall to try and break them apart. It’s impossible to get a grasp on either of them.