Secrets Of The Heart (Book 1, The Heart Series)

by Laurie LeClair

  Flushing deeply, Bree deposited the roses on the counter. She twisted the cap on the bottle, and then picked it up and handed her friend the concoction. “Don’t forget to shake it up before you apply it.”

  “Sure thing.” Tessa turned to leave, and then halted and looked at Nick. “You buy her roses and you’re babysitting tonight. Geez, you sure you don’t have any brothers hidden away somewhere?”

  Frowning, he said, “No, not a one. What’s this about tonight?” He turned to Bree and she experienced a sinking sensation in her middle. Dread filled her.

  “Didn’t Bree tell you? Girl, you’re losing it or the chemicals are definitely affecting some brain cells.” Tessa gently jabbed Bree’s arm, and then said to Nick, “A bunch of us are kidnaping your wife for a bachelorette party to go see those sexy male dancers take it all off.” She wriggled her eyebrows suggestively, and then waltzed away.

  He dragged a hand down his face, muttering, “Tell me she isn’t serious.”

  Swallowing hard, Bree squeaked out, “She’s not kidding.”

  He gritted his teeth. “When did you see fit in telling me this, huh?” He didn’t wait for an answer. Lowering his voice, he asked, “Or were you just going to feed me another lie? Damn it, Bree, I’m not a sick woman needing to be coddled. Nor am I a little girl that needs the sharp edge of reality blunted. I thought we’d gotten beyond lying to each other. I thought we were better than that.”

  A chill seized her heart at the wounded look he directed her way.

  I’ve ruined everything.

  Chapter 22

  With a ball of anxiety sitting in her belly and a heart full of hurt, Bree rushed after Nick as he stormed out of the shop.

  “Uh oh, trouble in paradise.” Bree caught Tessa’s muttered words as she raced by.

  Outside, Bree cried out, “Nick, wait up!”

  Thankfully, he halted at the side of his cruiser. She noted his strong, stiff back and knew she had everything to lose. He was such a difficult man to convince of anything. But how could she explain her behavior this time? She had to try.

  Walking around Nick so now she faced him, she sucked in her breath at the hard, uncompromising lines carved into his granite-like features.

  He placed his hands on his hips. “Well?”

  She looked away from the intensity of his shrewd, piercing gaze. “Why does everything have to be so complicated between us?” she asked more to herself than him.

  “We started out that way, remember?”

  She smiled sadly, recalling she’d answered him the same only a few weeks ago.

  “You want me to trust you, but when you act like this it only makes me more suspicious of you than ever,” Nick pointed out the obvious.

  She gritted her teeth, longing to scream at him, at the injustice of it all. How could she change the way she was? She had to learn or jam a wedge between them that not even a stick of dynamite could shake free.

  But she’d never risk Sydney, not even for Nick. Could she skirt the touchy issue of her secret and still live by his code of ethics?

  I’ll start turning over a new leaf right now and pray for guidance all the way. “I knew the girls were cooking up something. In fact, it was supposed to have happened before the wedding, but with such short notice they postponed it until I got back.”

  “And you’re more than willing to go along with all this, right? For crying out loud, Bree, you could have said something, warned me at least.”

  She cringed at the warranted reprimand. “I couldn’t do that to you,” she said softly, lightly touching his stomach.

  He jerked back slightly and grabbed her hand. “Vinnie told you, didn’t he?”

  The weariness mixed with sadness in his voice nearly had her in tears. Still clasping his large, warm hand, she nodded, unable to say anything.

  He blew out a breath. “I guess I shouldn’t have overreacted back there, but it still gnaws at me sometimes.”

  Looking up at him, she read the old hurt and jealousy in his demeanor. “I’m not her. I don’t pick up guys at bars. And I won’t go skipping out on you with some guy that shows up after the male dancers are through.” She shivered in revulsion. “Call me crazy, but those desperate types gives me the willies.”

  He shot her a lop-sided grin that sent tingles through her blood. Just as swiftly, he sobered and let go of her hand. “So, why go?”

  Bereft at the loss of contact, she hugged herself tightly. “Guilt, I guess.”

  He scowled deeply.

  Reaching out tentatively, she brushed his sides with her fingertips, feeling the answering tremble that raced through him. She closed her eyes and leaned forward so now her forehead pressed against his strong, solid chest. “I owe it to Jewel and Tessa and the women customers they’ve roped into this.”

  Sighing heavily, she continued, “I left them high and dry for two weeks. The paperwork is a total wreck. The more they worked on it the worse it got. And I’m still trying to figure out how Tessa confused the supply order so we got two cases of perms we don’t need instead of the new towels we’re desperate for. This little excursion is more for them than me.”

  Slowly, he put his arms around her, lightly stroking her back. “Let them go alone.”

  She chuckled. It came out ragged. “If only I could.”

  “You can if you want to bad enough.” His tone held a hard edge, one she took a hasty disliking to.

  She stiffened. Pulling away from him, she said, “I’m going if only to prove to you I’m not your first wife.”

  He practically snarled at that. “Well, I’m on call tonight, the department is shorthanded. In all likelihood I’ll be working a double shift.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest in mutiny. “I’ll ask Tilly to babysit then. She’d love to keep Sydney overnight. She misses her.”

  “Fine, you do that. But don’t expect me to welcome you with open arms when you get home.” He circled her, yanked open the car door, and then climbed inside, slamming the door behind him.

  Bree’s bravado nearly crumbled. But she kept a stiff upper lip, wondering why she just didn’t do as she wished and stay home with her daughter tonight. Why did she feel she had to prove anything to Nick?

  She moved so he could back up. Without sparing her a glance, he sped away. With a sinking heart, she murmured, “That’s another fine mess you’ve gotten us into, Ollie.”

  ***

  Driving down the dark, nearly desolate highway, Bree glanced at the time displayed on her dashboard clock. She groaned. “Eleven! What a waste of a fine night.”

  She’d been bored to tears with the strutting male peacocks and the screaming gaggle of women ranging in age from eighteen to seventy.

  “Well, at least Jewel and Tessa had a good time,” she mumbled under her breath, shaking her head at the uncharacteristic forward behavior of her partners. Even their customers had surprised her at their boldness with the dancers.

  Misery surrounded her as she realized the precious time she’d lost with her daughter this evening. After all, wasn’t that one of the reasons she’d given Nick for marrying him? “No wonder why he distrusts you so, you ninny. You gotta make an effort, tell him how you feel while keeping the past tucked in the little hide-away place inside.”

  Bree shivered at what she had to embark on. Laying herself emotionally bare to Nick frightened the wits out of her. How would he react? Would he even believe her?

  The seat belt cut across her diagonally from chest to hip as she strained to see if anyone else happened to be driving on the darkened highway at this late hour on a weekday night. No other car appeared. An another shiver shot down her spine.

  Was it from the thought she was the only person alive or for the great mountain of courage she’d have to tap into when she faced Nick again?

  She pressed her foot down harder on the accelerator as the combination of the eerie isolation and overwhelming task ahead gripped her middle.

  The car ate up the miles. Just a few mor
e to go and she’d be home again. Out of nowhere, she heard the sirens. The high pitch noise jolted her heart into her throat. Blue and red lights flashed in her rearview mirror, making her curse low and long.

  Pulling over reluctantly, Bree waited for the cop to approach. She drummed her fingernails on the black steering wheel and twisted her mouth in resignation as her heartbeat settled into a steady rhythm once again.

  After what seemed like hours, he tapped on her window. She rolled it down, shivering as the nippy nighttime air tripped along her skin. The Smoky the Bear hat, as Sydney referred to it, nearly obscured the policeman’s features. But, in the beam of head lights coming from his cruiser, Bree detected the unmistakable jaw line of her husband. “Nick,” she said on a puff of air, her hopes spiraling upward.

  When he tilted his hat back his grim features filled her view. His dark eyes, like bright shiny peebles, bore into her. His scowl beetled his brow and thinned his lips. “Do you know how fast you were going?”

  Her spirits plummeted to her knees. He played by the book, following the rules to the letter. He’d never let her off the hook. “Yes, but I’m sure you’ll remind me.”

  “Step out of the car.” His words, sharp and clipped, cut like a knife.

  Stunned wonder seized her. The man she’d given her heart to, had been intimate with, was now treating her as if she was no more than a stranger. “I don’t believe this is happening. You’ve got some nerve doing this,” she said tightly.

  She undid the seat belt, reached for the door handle, and then popped it open. Getting out, she slammed the door with enough force to shake the car and make her cringe at the loud bang.

  Nick stood close, confronting her. “Talk to me.”

  “What? First you stop me, and then you demand I get out of my car, now all you want to do is talk.”

  Leaning nearer, he spoke through gritted teeth. “Would you rather I put you through a field test?”

  Dawning hit her square between the eyes. “You think I might have been drinking?”

  He nodded curtly.

  She read the tension etched into every one of his facial muscles. “Oh, brother,” she muttered, borrowing her daughter’s favorite phrase these days. “Of course I haven’t been. I’m not a fool.”

  “Besides doing my job, Bree, I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you if you were driving under the influence.”

  He cared, really cared.

  “Couldn’t you have just asked me instead of treating me like some criminal?”

  “And would you have told me the truth this time?”

  Raw hurt slashed through her heart. “That’s a low blow, Carletti.”

  Grimacing, he rubbed a hand over his face and said, “You’re right. I’m sorry. Just get back in your car and drive slow the rest of the way home, all right?”

  “No.” Crossing her arms and tapping her foot, she grinned inwardly at the stunned look on his face. Two could play at this game. “What, no ticket for going five miles faster than the speed limit? Aren’t you even going to try to frisk me? You never know, I might just be packing some heat.”

  “Don’t push it, Bree.”

  She ignored the warning. Baiting him, she offered, “I got a couple of 38 specials.”

  He lifted his eyebrow, obviously intrigued. A hint of a smile inched up one corner of his mouth, distracting her as warmth flooded her core. “Concealed weapons?”

  Bree spread her arms wide. “It’s difficult to hide them.” It came out huskier than she’d intended.

  His gaze drifted slowly downward, lingering on her swelling breasts in the form fitting blue dress. Tension of another kind kicked in, clogging the air. “Might have to take you in for that.” His voice took on a deeper, richer quality, one she’d become accustomed to while making love to him, causing a tingle to zip through her. “All depends on what kind of ammo you’ve got there.”

  “You’re the cop, you figure it out,” she teased, liking the game and the obvious effect it had on him.

  He grinned, a sly, wicked grin that made her middle clutch. “C.” At her gasp, he explained, “I did your laundry yesterday, remember?”

  Nick smiled widely as he turned, and then made his way back to his car. He welcomed the little interplay with Bree. She’d turned his fear into seeing her barreling down the highway to enjoyment and desire, blunting the sharp edge of his anger, thus making him go easier on her.

  And I ended up bending my unbreakable rules for her.

  Over the noise of both car engines, the unmistakable light clicking of her high heels on the asphalt alerted him to her approach.

  Uh oh, what now?

  “I’m not through with you, Carletti.”

  Chapter 23

  Twisting around, he sensed the well of frustration radiating from her as his lights highlighted her tenacious features. His heart sank. “Listen, I’m not up to another fight today, understand?”

  She hugged herself tight as a shiver racked her body. “Oh, gr…great, you get to call them when you want them.”

  Giving up any chance of postponing the confrontation, Nick shrugged off his lightweight jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. A part of him regretted hiding any part of her in the sexy dress.

  “Mmmm, nice and warm,” she murmured, nestling deeper in his coat. “Thanks.”

  “I can give you five minutes, and then I’ve got to get back to work.”

  “It’s not as if you’re busy or anything.”

  As if the fates defied her, a car with a rowdy group of what looked like teenaged boys whizzed by Nick, yelling out the window and honking the horn. The gust of wind the racing car created kicked up surrounding litter, swirling it into a tunneled frenzy.

  Nick guided Bree out of harm’s way, cocooning her between the back of her car and the front of his.

  “Damn kids.” The itch to chase after them took hold of him. "Can’t this wait, Bree? I need to stop them before they harm someone or themselves.” He needed to get them off the road as soon as possible.

  She grabbed his forearm, stalling him and sending a shower of awareness straight to his toes. He sucked in his breath and inhaled the wonderful heady scent of her.

  A longing, so fierce and so sharp, attacked his heart. His concerns in chasing down the teenagers faded for a moment and only Bree stood out.

  “I just want to know if this has anything to do with getting back at me for going out with the girls tonight.”

  Bowled over, he asked, “How can you even suggest such a thing like that?”

  “You have to admit you weren’t pleased earlier.”

  He advanced a step, closing the small gap between them. “No, I certainly wasn’t. And, as much as I’d like to, I realize that I can’t control everything or anyone the way I want things to go. But I’m not so small-minded that I’d pull you over on a bogus stop. How can you even think that of me?”

  She groaned as if in pain. Releasing her grasp on him, she threw up her hands in defeat. “Of course you wouldn’t. What in the world was I thinking of anyway?” She shook her head. “Forget I ever said anything, all right? It’s just been a miserable night all the way around for me.”

  Something inside Nick cracked and shifted at her distress. “Come here, sweetness,” he said softly, gathering her close in his arms.

  The large coat nearly swallowed her whole, but he reveled in cradling her to his chest. The outline of her locket dug into him, but the imprint of her wearing it left an indelible mark on his heart. Pressing his lips against her green apple-scented hair, he said, “I guess we both jumped to conclusions today, didn’t we?”

  She nodded. “I didn’t really want to go tonight. In fact, I was going to cancel out.” Sighing heavily, her hot breath tickled his neck and sparked a fire in his blood. “But, I’m ashamed to say, your reaction to it all was like a bull seeing red. I charged ahead not caring about anything except trying to show you I wasn’t anything like your first wife.”

  Squeezing his eyes shut, Ni
ck experienced a mixture of happiness and remorse all rolled into one. “I shouldn’t be holding you up to inspection like that. But I swear I got damned scared when I saw you speeding by. I had visions of finding you all mangled and twisted and burnt.” His voice broke and he tried to shun the horrible image of finding Bree dead.

  “Like how you discovered Dorthea?”

  Nodding, he said, “But you’re not like her, not really.” He pulled back and gazed into her beautiful eyes as he framed her face with his palms. “You’re good and kind and a great mother and a terrific lover…” Kissing her slowly, he felt the heat enter her cheeks. “And I can’t stop thinking about you…” Parting her lips with his tongue, Nick delved in, savoring the delicious taste of her.

  Bree gasped for air when he broke the incredible, intoxicating embrace. “Oh, Nick, why are we doing this to each other?” She searched his gaze for an answer.

  He chuckled. “Hell if I know. I’ve got another hour to go on my shift and I’m supposed to be coherent and capable. Lord, you’re like sweet, heady wine, making me dizzy and out of control.”

  She nudged him in the middle, flushing with both pleasure and embarrassment. “Not that. I was talking about the accusations, the mistrust. Why can’t we just let it all go?”

  As if a cold bucket of water doused him, Nick jerked away, leaving Bree confused and bereft. “I can’t.” Even as the headlights surrounded him, throwing him into silhouette, she detected the regret chiseled on his face. “I can’t change who I am and what I believe overnight.”

  “When Vinnie died you did.” She hated pointing it out, but she had to try to make him see reason.

  “That’s different. I lost my son.” His tone roughened with emotion, tearing her apart inside.

  Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. “We both discovered this isn’t a perfect world, Nick, and there are no perfect people. All I’m asking is for you to let go of some misconceptions about me, about life.”

  “You’re talking about having a wealth of faith and trust. You’ve forgotten I don’t have either one to give you or anyone else.”